Grandmas to the Rescue!
I’m embarrassed to confess that I have not read many books on leadership prior to this doctoral program and I was not given to thinking of myself as a leader. I simply considered myself a good follower. Reading Leadership: Theory and Practice, Ninth Edition by Peter Northouse was fascinating and presented a thorough and broad perspective of leadership styles and theory in one well researched, referenced, and updated text. The practical information will prove useful as I evaluate my strengths and weaknesses as a leader, explore new approaches to leadership, and expand my understanding of leadership as influence. The multitude of assessments have been enlightening. However, I cannot figure out how to score the Leadership Trait Questionnaire. Maybe it’s “Grandma brain!” I am on extended full-time grandma duty.
Defining Leadership
Northouse’s definition of leadership is concise and foundational for understanding leadership, “Leadership is a process whereby an individual influences a group of individuals to achieve a common goal.”[1] Northouse states, “When a person is engaged in leadership, that person is a leader, whether leadership was assigned or emerged.”[2] In other words, a leader need not be designated and recognized in order to lead and influence others. This brings to mind a rather confusing moment when a church congregant insisted that I was the leader of a non-existent ministry within the church. I wondered how that was possible. I held no position of leadership and there was no official ministry in place. Yet somehow, I was IT!
Followership as Influence
Northouse offers clarity when he links the roles of leader and follower as inter-related in the leadership process.[3] One theory suggested leadership is a co-created process.[4] Leaders and followers need each other. I am visualizing leaders and followers engaged in a mutual dance. One leads. One follows. Both have specific combinations of steps and situations in which they must cooperate and move together to create a unified flow in order to reach a common goal. A common goal is critical as the influence of followers can be underestimated. As Northouse puts it, “You cannot have leaders without followers.”[5] Followership is defined as, “a process whereby an individual or individuals accept the influence of others to accomplish a common goal.”[6] I appreciate that Northouse points out both the leader and the follower share a moral obligation as the character and behavior of followers impacts leaders and outcomes.[7] The experience with the congregant was not positive. I did not come away thinking I was an emergent leader. Rather, that I was being manipulated by an unhealthy follower. Chapter 13 was particularly helpful in identifying what makes effective and ineffective followers. Followers have responsibilities. The reading brings up good questions for personal reflection. How are my followership skills? How might my experiences as a follower influence my leadership? Are there any derailers I need to attend to as a follower?
Interlude
As I headed into the next section, I was interrupted by a cute little boy peeking into my room asking if I was awake and ready for morning snuggles. I am not making this up! My youngest grandson has been my early morning buddy all week and our conversations have been sweet. Sublime!
An Intriguing Model: Transformational Leadership
There were several approaches to leadership that resonated. Servant leadership, also covered by Simon Walker, authentic leadership, and adaptive leadership were of particular interest. However, it was transformational leadership that intrigued and inspired me the most, but it comes with what is in my opinion a rather strong WARNING! Northouse writes, “…transformational leadership is the process whereby a person engages with others and creates a connection that raises the level of motivation and morality of both the leader and the follower. This type of leader is attentive to the needs and motives of followers and tries to help followers reach their fullest potential.”[8] Though this approach focuses on treating followers with dignity, and is concerned with emotions, values, and ethical standards, the warning is that followers can be motivated to accomplish more than might usually be expected.[9] There are other concerns that this approach may be considered elitist, undemocratic, and may contribute to “heroic leadership” bias.[10] With these concerns in mind, I still see great potential for this approach working well with differentiated and undefended leaders who are well aware of their derailers and who take a collaborative approach to reaching common, if not visionary, goals. A beautiful example of this was given in Case 8.3 Grandmothers and Benches.[11] In an effort to make mental health services more accessible to those suffering with depression and anxiety a pilot program was started in Zimbabwe by psychiatrist Dr. Dixon Chibanda. He discovered the most reliable and available resources to address the lack of services were grandmothers. He developed the Friendship Bench approach in which grandmothers are trained to listen, take a non-judgmental approach, and allow clients to talk through their problems. The program is widely successful. In a TEDTalk entitled, Why I Train Grandmothers to Treat Depression, Dr. Chibanda states of his program, “This clinical trial showed that grandmothers were more effective at treating depression than doctors.”[12]
When I began writing this post I was once again struck by how inadequate as a leader I feel. My roles as a mother, grandma, small group leader, counselor, and spiritual director all require subtle yet influential forms of leadership but as I am discovering are no-less important. This is a boon to my confidence professionally and personally. I definitely have followers, none are of the digital variety, some barely reach above my knees. I have long believed that listening without judgement or fixing brings a great deal of emotional and psychological relief when distressed and that connection to other people brings wholeness and a sense of well-being. “Grandma Brain” isn’t a bad thing! A listening ear and a compassionate heart are influence.
[1] Peter C. Northouse, Leadership: Theory & Practice Ninth Edition (Los Angeles, CA: SAGE, 2022), 6.
[2] Peter C. Northouse, Leadership, 10.
[3] Ibid., 7.
[4] Ibid., 364.
[5] Ibid., 352.
[6] Ibid., 353.
[7] Ibid., 354.
[8] Ibid., 186.
[9] Ibid., 185.
[10] Ibid., 220.
[11] Ibid., 213-216.
[12] https://www.ted.com/talks/dixon_chibanda_why_i_train_grandmothers_to_treat_depression
About the Author
Jenny Dooley
Jenny served as a missionary in Southeast Asia for 28 years. She currently resides in Gig Harbor, Washington, where she works as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Spiritual Director in private practice with her husband, Eric. Jenny loves to listen and behold the image of God in others. She enjoys traveling, reading, and spending time with her family which include 5 amazing adult children, 3 awesome sons-in-law, a beautiful daughter-in-law, and 8 delightful grandchildren.11 responses to “Grandmas to the Rescue!”
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I just got off a FaceTime Video call from our kids, and more importantly, our three grandkids in Graz, Austria. There is nothing like being a grandparent! I repeat: nothing.
Our leadership and influence is vitally important with them as well. It’s not only the future of the church, but the future of our family.
I love how your heart comes through this post Jenny!
Hi John,
I could not survive without Face Time video calls! I have “missionary” guilt raising my kids so far from their grandparents. We live in a completely different world now and I am grateful. I’m so glad you get to stay connected to your grandchildren. All 7 of mine are out of state…but that will change next month. What is the most important thing you want to impart to your grandchildren?
Hi Jenney,
I am one of your followers. You have elevate my performance on our peer group team and I feel grateful for the direction and “cheerleading.”
People like to hang around those who are wise and you’ve got that in spades.
Your dynamic of follower leader got me to thinking about GoodSports Ukraine and of my four folk heading there in January, I am NOT seeing an emergent leader YET. But time will tell.
Shalom…
Hi Russell,
Thank you for your kind words! I am excited with you as you look for emergent leaders among your Ukrainian team. Are you noticing qualities from the “softer” sides of leadership that can be encouraged?
The fact that you are in full time Grandma duty and still manages to write such a thoughtful post speaks to your great intelligence! I appreciated you writing about transformational leadership. I listened to some of the lessons from the book and was only half paying attention to the chapter on transformational leadership. I heard the teacher use Jesus as an example and honestly, I rolled my eyes bc, duh, of course he was a transformational leader but also, can’t we think of another example besides the good little Christian answer? Anyway, the way you talked about it was helpful to me. I also really appreciated your wondering about being a good follower! Great thoughts on that! Have fun grandparenting!
Hi Kally,
Thank you for your comments. And, yes I did have a great time grandparenting. My 5 day trip turned into 10! I wasn’t anticipating writing this post from Idaho.
One thing that I failed to mention was specifically why I thought the warning was important. I have experienced leaders with a transformational approach that seemed to push and burn people out in efforts to transform followers or the communities they serve. Because of the visionary nature of transformational leadership followers can get very excited, over extend, or get caught up in abusive tactics to transform them. We can’t set goals for others without their consent and we can’t push people to make commitments to a vision. Treating followers with dignity is huge for me as is learning from followers. But I also think followers could benefit from learning how to be good followers which contributes to leadership being a co-created process. I found pages 364-373 super helpful.
Looking forward to having Grandma Brain. Rebecca and Derrick are due December 31st and Gentry and Abigail are due May 9th. I’m so excited and look forward to being a listening ear and prayer warrior for them. . . I put a rocking chair in our living room as a visual prayer reminder to pray for them during my morning prayer time. I can’t wait til they sit in it.
I have attended leadership conferences but more of my reading has been around spiritual formation, discipleship, and coaching. Before our program, I read very few books on leadership but am enjoying all that I am learning with each one.
Congratulations! Exciting times ahead as your family expands. I have another grandchild arriving in January. Grandma brain is actually quite fun. I feel that I got a reset for completing the semester just by having a break to think and do other things. It also reminded me of my priorities which I think is healthy when leadership gets overwhelming. Those derailers can creep up without resets and commitments to personal priorities. Like you, I have been surprised by how much I am enjoying books on leadership that I never would have picked up on my own. I noticed a title of a book when I was at the airport and my husband bought it. I was pleased that it fit right in with our readings this semester!
Hi Jenny!
Your writing was very inspiring. This is closely related to your comments on my article.
I agree with your opinion that being a leader is not about position, but rather about the impact and influence that he has on many people.
From your writing, especially in this section, “My roles as a mother, grandma, small group leader, counselor, and spiritual director all require subtle yet influential forms of leadership but as I am discovering they are no-less important. This is a boon to my confidence professionally and personally. I definitely have followers, none are of the digital variety, some barely reach above my knees. I have long believed that listening without judgment or fixing brings a great deal of emotional and psychological relief when distressed and that connection to other people brings wholeness and a sense of well-being,” you have demonstrated your qualities as a true leader. You are sincere and authentic in leading and serving others. My question is, is there a time when temptation arises within you to have and achieve a certain position called leadership? If so, how did you overcome this?
Hi Dinka,
Thank you for your kind words and I apologize that I did not see your response until now. I don’t really feel much temptation to achieve a certain leadership role. I’m not the most assertive or competitive person so I don’t often go after leadership roles. They kind of come my way. I tend to say yes when they are offered. The temptation is more to not make excuses, diminish, or undermine the leadership roles I have been given. I have to be careful to use my voice and not self-silence, if that makes sense.
Jenny, no one would know you haven’t read every single leadership book ever published. You’re a natural.
Your reflection on leadership and its various aspects, including followership, transformational leadership, and the interplay between leaders and followers, is insightful. It’s clear that you’ve gained a deeper understanding of leadership through your reading of Peter Northouse’s book and your personal experiences.
The idea that leadership and followership are interconnected, with both roles influencing each other, is an essential concept. Your mention of the mutual dance between leaders and followers paints a vivid picture of this dynamic.
Your exploration of transformational leadership, while acknowledging its potential concerns, highlights its capacity to inspire and motivate followers to achieve their fullest potential. The case study of the Friendship Bench program in Zimbabwe is a powerful example of the positive impact of such leadership, even in unexpected contexts.
And your personal experiences as a mother, grandmother, small group leader, counsellor, and spiritual director have undoubtedly shaped your leadership style and abilities. Jenny, your emphasis on listening, compassion, and connection as sources of influence is a valuable perspective.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences on leadership and followership. Your journey and insights are inspiring and provide valuable lessons for others in leadership roles.