Got Grit?
*Grit: (Noun) courage and resolve; strength of character:*
What does it take to develop grit? Is grit really perseverance and passion, or simply perseverance with a growth mindset? Does Grit even matter?
Angela Duckworth wrote the book Grit in 2016 after measuring success in various groups of students and people. Having gone from the business world, to being an educator, to a psychologist, she had experience in various fields that enabled her to notice trends in success that weren’t based on intelligence or natural ability. Her book develops the idea that what determines people’s success over a period of time is their “grit score”. Duckworth defines grit as “perseverance and passion for very long term goals”[1] and suggests that it can be cultivated and measured in young people by parents, coaches and teachers.
As someone who is a parent of teenagers, a coach and a pastor in a college town, I’m always looking for ways to cultivate resiliency and growth in the young people I have the privilege of interacting with. With the increase in anxiety and mental health crises in young people in recent years, I’m curious about the way that Grit can be cultivated in response to the impact of a global pandemic, social media and climate change that seem to be contributing factors to adolescent anxiety.
In his book, The Anxious Generation Jonathan Haidt observes that, “Experience, not information, is the key to emotional development.”[2] These means that the experiences that our kids are having are opportunities for their emotional development, but that it takes intentional engagement and reflection both by them and the trusted adults in their lives, to see those experiences as an opportunity to learn grit through perseverance.
A critic of Duckworth’s work on the concept of “Grit”, Martin Credé, a social psychologist at Iowa State University, has been particularly outspoken. Credé’s primary critique of Duckworth is not in her perspective on perseverance but on the challenge of measuring passion in developing adolescents. He notes, “So I think perseverance, that’s worthwhile pursuing. But on the passion side, the idea that we can only be good at things if we are passionate for them and also that we don’t change our passions. I find that especially concerning when it comes to younger kids. I have two daughters. Part of their life, as I see it, is trying out things. We don’t want them to give up immediately but changing your interests and exploring things, that’s part of life.”[3]
I tend to agree here with Credé but think the Duckworth is onto something in regard to the importance of perseverance and grit.
My two oldest kids are 14 year old twins. They are freshmen in High School this year, and both have had challenging experiences in regard to their fall sports participation. Both have had the opportunity to develop Grit through these experiences. It’s been interesting walking with them through these challenges and notice how unpleasant it has been as a parent. As a parent who is a recovering people pleaser, I want my kids to be happy. Therefore, any experience that is challenging or hard is not something I want for them. And yet, it has been these challenging experiences that have formed them the most this fall. As a parent, I need to switch my mindset from a “fixed” to a “growth” mindset in order to support my kids as they develop grit in their adolescent years, which will set them up for a life of growing grit. I’m learning that asking questions as a parent can be more important than giving advice, especially in parenting teenage kids.
So what are a few basic reflection questions we can ask ourselves, and the young people around us, when we are experiencing challenge and adversity that will cultivate “grit”? I’d like to offer these four questions based on Duckworth, Dweck and Credé:
– What specific challenges am I facing in this situation, and how might they be helping me grow?
– In what areas am I feeling anxious, and is there an opportunity to use that awareness to focus on things within my control?
– How could I reframe this situation to uncover potential opportunities for growth and learning?
– What is one small, courageous action I can take to make progress and build confidence in this situation?
They have been incredible, showing toughness, commitment and the power of a positive attitude in the midst of some challenging situations. I’m very proud of them both. I hope to have their level of grit someday in my own life too.
[1] Angela Duckwort, “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance: TED” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H14bBuluwB8&embeds_referring_euri=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.bing.com%2F&embeds_referring_origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.bing.com&source_ve_path=MTM5MTE4LDI4NjY2
[2] Haidt, Jonathan. The Anxious Generation.
[3] Research scholars to air problems with using ‘grit’ at school – The Hechinger Report
About the Author
Ryan Thorson
Follower of Jesus. Husband. Father. Pastor. Coach. I am passionate about helping people discover the gift of Sabbath and slow down spirituality in the context of our busy world.12 responses to “Got Grit?”
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Ryan,
I too agree with Credé’. I think of the concept of the JoHari window that I teach. There are things that we don’t know about ourselves and no one else knows simply because we have not been introduced to it. For example, my son and I enjoy playing disc golf but didn’t know that until we played for our first time two years ago. Neither of us is good at it, so there isn’t necessarily “passion” but a level of interest.
With the four questions you listed, how would your twins respond if you asked them. I’m wondering if they would feel you are being more of a coach than dad. Being a mental health professional, I could see my kids telling me I’m treating them like a client not their kid.
I do like the questions you listed.
Hey Jeff,
Thanks for your thoughts and question. I appreciate the pause between wondering if these are coach or dad questions. Its given me a chance to think about the difference lol.
I think a dad would first empathize and listen, then ask permission to ask some ‘coach-like’ questions.
Hi Ryan, I agree with you that kids need to try different things. We had our daughters have different summer jobs each year for that reason. Yet, I don’t think Duckworth in Grit was saying stick with one thing forever as a kid. I read somewhere about page 220+/- something that it would be good to stick with something for a while – maybe a season – then if not for you move on. Do you see any value in that or does it sound more reasonable? Just curious. I don’t know that there is a specific right answer.
Hi Diane,
yes thanks for qualifying my comment about passion. I do think its good to help our kids learn to stick with something for awhile to see long term benefits or enjoyment. Particularly in a world that wants to feed us short term results, learning to persevere and stick with something for a season is important.
Ryan,
Great questions to ask. I have tried to develop better questions to ask people over the last few years and I find that it is helpful. Your last question would go in line with the book Atomic Habits. Simply do something small and consistently to help develop a better habit of doing it. What might one small thing be that you have done over this last semester to grow in your grittiness?
Thanks Adam.
I think the one small area I’ve grown is writing my consistently and ‘as I go’ instead of waiting until the end of the semester for the big papers or the last day for a blog post. This has made writing feel more like a rhythm and less like a big task. thanks for the questions.
Hi Ryan,
Thank you for sharing your experience.
What is the most significant benefit you derive from Duckworth’s work?
Hi Ryan, I agree that kids need to try many different things. Some don’t find what they are really passionate about until they are young adults.
I like the four questions you’re suggesting.
How do you think modelling grit develops a gritty environment? What does this look like for you?
Hi Ryan, I, too, really liked the questions you posed. As a non-parent and non-youth worker, I wonder if some grit is built in adolescent years that through perseverance, a passion is also built? What are you thoughts on that?
Ryan, thank you for your article on the importance of cultivating grit in young people. In addition to the four questions you’ve posed, how do you think adults can best balance nurturing resilience while also allowing children to explore a variety of interests without feeling pressured to immediately find their passion? Furthermore, what strategies would you recommend for adults to help adolescents navigate obstacles while fostering grit in a way that encourages flexibility in their interests?
Hi Ryan – parenting teens is hard, and so fun! I think it’s an honor that we get to help them grow in grit and a growth mindset. Have you been able to try out the prompts with your kids yet? What have you noticed as growth moments for your kids that can be applied more broadly to others?
Hey Ryan! I can agree with your post and your grit and reference to being in a small town resonates over here. I also like how you posed several questions and your inclusion of mental health in the dialogue. What is the grit mindset that you find in your ministry context?