God Winked
God winked at me when I started reading Rare Leadership. He reminded me of the conversation with my leadership coach less than two weeks ago when I told Stephen that I wanted to press into living from a place of joy. I was motivated by an inner impulse to represent Jesus and attract others to Him. The conversation was meaningful because it came on the heels of some very productive work about living more authentically as myself and conversations about increasing relational connectivity due to becoming more mindful and present with Jesus. Somehow, “more joy” was the next thing. We reviewed my spiritual practices and discussed ways to develop an even greater appreciation and lean further toward being my created self, which is the means to living joyfully. I was right on time to receive Rare Leadership. Before discussing how this reading met me on the leading edge of personal development, I will briefly summarize the book.
“Rare Leadership” is leadership that dramatically increases trust, joy, and engagement in the people we lead. This type of leadership is the fruit of four uncommon habits related to emotional intelligence.[1] These four habits distinguish actual high-capacity leaders from leaders who merely work hard.[2]
The Four Uncommon Habits
- Remain relational
- Act like yourself
- Return to joy
- Endure hardship well
The book gives us some lessons in brain chemistry and the science of thinking linked to a biblical view of being created in the image of God with a purpose to fulfill alongside the rest of the created community. Leadership framed by Kingdom of God thinking will help those we lead “achieve their full potential in Christ.”[3] The author’s contention conforms to my understanding of Ephesians 4:12 as a directive for leadership within the context of ministry. Becoming a “rare leader” will help me live out the call to equip followers of Jesus for works of service so that the body may be built up, mature, reach unity in faith, and attain the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
Although joy is only named once in the names of the four uncommon habits, the concept is woven throughout and is a constant refrain throughout the book.
I find it challenging to consider the four habits apart from joy and see interweaving strands of being. I want to be a relational leader. Expanding my capacity for joy increases my capacity for living and leading as my true self. Living and leading as my authentic self increases my relational leadership capacity. For me, the ultimate source of this capacity, the source of identity, and the source of joy is Jesus. Through practicing being present with Jesus, I have experienced an increasing sense of healthy identity and healing in the “elevator” of my brain.[4] All of the above aligns with the author’s prescription for becoming a Rare Leader through transformation, which includes intimacy with God and developing receptivity to God by practicing being in his presence.[5]
The capacity for joy can be increased with training.[6] Coach Stephen specifically suggested granting myself the time and permission to practice the following regularly and make them part of my routines to help me live more joyfully.
- Look back with a sense of appreciation and acknowledgment of how God has worked in and through me.
- Notice how my unique imago dei has made an impact on the world. Be careful not to focus on accomplishment and achievement but where being my authentic self made a difference.
According to Stephen, these practices will “open the faucets of joy.” That sounds like the retro phrase, “Get under the spout where the glory comes out,” and I am all for it!
Joy is a potent element of leadership because it replaces fear and is more powerful than fear as motivation.[7] Further, the ability to return to joy after experiencing negative emotions is the most crucial factor in producing sustainable motivation.[8] Experience has proven that fear can only take me so far, and I am eager to see where consciously noticing and becoming more joyful through spiritual practice will take me.
I receive this week’s book with powerful gratitude and awe at how the Lord provides the right resources when we are ready to receive them. I have frequently used “Peace and Joy” as an email sign-off for several years. It seems like I am becoming better equipped to live into it. If I had more time, I would love to make a “tip sheet” for pastors from some of the nuggets in Rare Leadership. Pastors and Leaders, what were your best personal takeaways from this book?
[1] Marcus Warner, and Wilder, Jim. Rare Leadership: 4 Uncommon Habits For Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead, (Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2016), 13.
[2] Warner and Wilder, Rare Leadership, 24.
[3] Warner and Wilder, Rare Leadership, 21.
[4] Warner and Wilder, Rare Leadership, 65.
[5] Warner and Wilder, Rare Leadership, 113.
[6] Warner and Wilder, Rare Leadership, 204.
[7] Warner and Wilder, Rare Leadership, 50.
[8] Warner and Wilder, Rare Leadership, 26.
About the Author
Julie O'Hara
9 responses to “God Winked”
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Hi, Julie, thank you for your post. After discussing the RARE, you emphasized the importance of Joy to yourself and for sure to every one of us. You also mentioned that ‘capacity of joy’ can be trained, could you elaborate on that more? Thank you.
Hi Noel,
A simple mnemonic from the book was really helpful to me. VCR. Validate, comfort, and repattern. By putting this into practice we can. more quickly restore joy in our lives when dealing with really big emotions, our own, or other people’s. I can see where this has been helpful in the past, but having a useful label will likely help me even more in the future.
Hi Julie. Thank you. How has your journey of intentionally practising joy, especially through looking back with appreciation and acknowledging your imago Dei, shaped your leadership and your ability to remain relational during challenging seasons?
Hi Glyn,
Most recently I have been able to say ‘yes’ to an invitation and am experiencing excitement about what God wants to do. In other times, I might have looked at the scope of this invitation and been filled with fear and self-orientation.
Julie,
I am glad that you were able to see the way that God had prepared you for this book. I think one nugget that I took away from this book is that people learn and receive information better when joy is involved. Certainly it makes sense but it was a good lesson to learn.
Hi Adam,
Yes, thanks for highlighting that piece. Seems like we want to ‘correct’ or ‘redirect’ people out of our frustration, anger, etc but they will never receive our words. With joy and relationship our heart posture is in a completely different place and through connection we can learn from one another.
Hi Julie! Thanks for taking us deeper in your journey and call. Walking alongside you and seeing your growth and development as we travel on this leadership trail has been a blessing. Walking away from this week’s reading, what will be the first thing you apply to your context to enhance your work?
Hi Daren,
It is the idea of “practice.” I practice the presence of God and I can practice returning to joy. I have had many practices over the years and currently I will be focused on this.
Julie, you mention that joy is a potent element of leadership and that practicing presence with Jesus has helped you grow in identity and relational leadership. What are some practical ways you integrate this pursuit of joy into your daily leadership routines, especially in moments of stress or challenge? I’m curious what time with your coach may have yielded regarding this?