Get Over Yourself: A Positive Approach to Therapy
Francis Fukuyama articulates the roots of political tension in his book Identity: The Demand for Dignity and the Politics of Resentment. He gives a raw analysis as he states, “Resentment over lost dignity or invisibility often has economic roots, but fights over identity often distract us from focusing on policies that could concretely remedy those issues.” [1] He looks at these issues directly and concludes, “Identity can be used to divide, but it can and has also been used to integrate.”[2] How this is done is not one dimensional. Looking at the roots of where our identity comes from, Fukuyama addresses several sources. I, however, will only address how our nation has made an effort to build self-esteem. Inherently a positive concept, self-esteem has taken on some negative connotations, and this author attributes this to psychotherapy. As a clinician, I want to be quick to acknowledge therapy’s downfalls, but I will also be quick to champion its benefits. In this blog, I will share the author’s concerns regarding therapy and how it is influencing identity politics but also give light to a therapist’s work and how it positively addresses a client’s needs to improve their self-concept.
In chapter ten of Fukuyama’s book, he explains a democratization of dignity by unpacking what he calls a “therapeutic enterprise.” [3] He makes arguments for how therapy has influenced society in its attempt to promote self-esteem. Fukuyama asserts, “One reason that identity politics has become so embedded in the United States and other liberal democracies is because of rising concern over self-esteem, and by what has been labeled the “triumph of the therapeutic.” [4] The author describes “triumph of the therapeutic” as the growing demand for therapeutic services where therapist’s focus on the aggrandizement of the self. I believe an alternative perspective should be taken toward therapy and how the therapist approaches the needs of their clients.
In the late 1970’s, Christopher Lasch made a critique of the “promotion of self-esteem” by arguing that its promotion “enabled not human potential but a crippling narcissism and trapping people in emotional dependence.” I agree with this critique, but he goes on to say:
“Even when therapists speak of the need for “meaning” and “love,” they define love and meaning simply as the fulfillment of the patient’s requirements. It hardly occurs to them– nor is there any reason why it should, given the nature of the therapeutic enterprise– to encourage the subject to subordinate his needs and interests to those of others, to some cause or tradition outside himself.” [5]
These later remarks assume that all therapists take this approach, and this is not always the case.
Personal Responsibility
Abdicating personal responsibility is often far from many therapists’ way of working. An example of this might be best illustrated with the book It Didn’t Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We are and How to End the Cycle by Mark Wolynn. At first glance, the title of this book might make one think that a therapist would use this book to help a client blame their family for their intrapsychic woes. But after reading this book, I found the author to have a different intent. Wolynn states: “Reconciliation is mostly an internal movement. Our relationship with our parents is not dependent on what they do, how they are, or how they respond. It’s about what we do. The change occurs in us.” [6] Readers of this book will find that there is much personal work to be done even if the underpinnings of their emotional responses are coming from prior generations. Lasch argues that therapists want “meaning” and “love” which come from the “fulfillment of the patient’s requirements” but often what is required is clients seeing themselves differently, subordinating their needs and interests. This is the work that they must undertake.
Healthy Self-esteem Comes in Community
Another example, contrasting Christopher Lasch’s view, comes from the author W. Keith Campbell, PhD who addresses narcissism in his book: The New Science of Narcissism: Understanding One of the Greatest Psychological Challenges of Our Time-and What You Can Do About It. In the chapter on reducing your own narcissism, he suggests some BIG SOLUTIONS with the social investment theory where a person “combines work, volunteering, religion, and community.” [7] Clearly, healthy self-esteem is only healthy in the context of community.
Participating in the Death and Resurrection of Jesus
In addition to an individual taking personal responsibility for their therapeutic outcomes and therapists’ promoting investment theory, I believe self-esteem can be addressed well with a proposal Dr. Jason Clark made at a plenary session in Oxford. My notes read: “How do we process with ourselves and others? Theology of participation-we need to have a theology of the Cross.”[8] In having a theology of the cross, one finds the joy of participating in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. For those who believe, this is the best therapy for getting over oneself.
[1] Francis Fukuyama, Identity: The Demand for Dignity and the Politics of Resentment. 179
[2] Ibid. p.183
[3] Ibid. p.98
[4] Ibid. p.96
[5] Ibid. p.98
[6] Mark Wolynn, It Didn’t Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We are and How to End the Cycle, p.157
[7] W. Keith Campbell, The New Science of Narcissism: Understanding One of the Greatest Psychological Challenges of Our Time-and What You Can Do About It. p.221
[8] Dr. Jason Clark, Plenary Session #2, Doctorate of Leadership in Global Perspectives, Oxford Advance September 2023.
About the Author
Kristy Newport
9 responses to “Get Over Yourself: A Positive Approach to Therapy”
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Kristy,
In your post, you mentioned, “In having a theology of the cross, one finds the joy of participating in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.” Central to Christian theology, this concept represents a transformative spiritual renewal and journey. Considering its application to our sense of identity can influence how we perceive ourselves and our role in the world.
However, how can we discover joy in the act of participating in something as challenging as death? Death, after all, is a profound and complex experience.
Thankyou for reading my blog post and asking a challenging question.
How do we find joy in participating in death?
One example that comes to mind is how I am able to walk with my clients into areas that are often frieghtning and see them discover that these scary places can be traversed/entered into because 1) another person is there to go with them, 2) they find that sharing experiences that have wrapped them in fear are not as powerful as they have thought, and 3) there are alternative ways of seeing their situation (gaining insight/perspective). I was able to journey with someone today. I used a white board to map out this person’s family and this helped this person not be so overwhelmed/anxious as they were before. Some light was shed on this person’s darkness. Did this person receive Christ, no. Did this person repent of sin, no. This person walked into dark areas that have been deadly to them and now see things differently. Several times this client said: this is good. This communicated to me that this process had brought a glimmer of hope and joy.
another example
The same client shared with me their dreams. In their dreams they were seeing many dead people. I gave the person permission to speak to the people they were seeing in their dreams. I proposed the idea that she might have power over what she was seeing in her dreams. These ideas had not dawned on my client. My client is not as fearful about her dreams. I encouraged her to expect that she would have more dreams with dead people (accept this) with the confidence of having new tools to address what comes to her in her dreams. Do you know what joy came with this? Seeing her confidently shake her head communicated to me…she is going to have new victory in facing her fears/dreams shrouded in death. We have more work to do with grief that has not been addressed but this was a good start.
Thanks Deron! Today was a good counseling day for me. Death is defeated! Jesus has victory over death. I have great joy bringing this message into my counseling office
Thanks for your post Kristy,
I agree with what you believe “That you said here “I believe an alternative perspective should be taken toward therapy and how the therapist approaches the needs of their clients.”
There will no change at all unless there is personal responsibility and determination to do things differently.
Kristy, I appreciate how you took us from some of what Fukuyama was saying and brought us into your realm of expertise and then into the realm of faith with Dr. Clark’s words.
I’m curious if you could expand a bit on what it means to participate in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ communally.
Caleb,
Thank you for reading my post and asking me to share more. I am copying your ? here:
I’m curious if you could expand a bit on what it means to participate in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ communally.
The first verse that comes to my mind is “If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray- I will heal them and their land.” I need to look up book and verse. This is a communal experience where repentance is entered into and we find God bringing a widespread healing of people and land. It is my prayer that our churches and our nation might seek repentance and find this kind of healing from God.
Something else I am thinking of: the community of a family. There is a verse about one member of a family coming to know Christ and salvation coming to the family as a whole. Again, I would need to look for this New Test. passage. I believe as one family member seeks repentance, other family members are going to be impacted. It is my hope and prayer that I will role model repentance and having new life in Christ which in turn will impact other family members.
Thanks again for asking
I hope I have clarified this well enough
I need to consult Bible Gateway for my Scripture references.
2 Chron. 7:14
if my people who are called by name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
Acts 16 Paul and Silas in jail (context)
v. 30-33 The jailer brought them out and asked sirs, what must I do to be saved? They replied, Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved- you and your household. Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all the others in the house. At that hour of the night the jailer took them and washed their wounds; then immediately he and all his family were baptized. v34 they were filled with joy, because they had come to believe in God.
Howdy from DLGP02,
I found my interaction time with you and the other “Third Years” a wonderful experience. So I decided to cross the great divide.
Therapy is a foreign animal to me, and yet, I have come across several young Afghanistan Vets who speak highly of “counseling.” Unlike my generation (the boomers), the idea of counseling seems to be an accepted course towards mental health for a new generation of combat soldiers.
Your perspective as a therapist/counselor was fascinating to me. Thanks for sharing…
As a side note, GoodSports International (www.goodsportsinternational.org) is being launched by God into Ukraine. Not sure where we will land but yesterday I met with a Ukrainian Pastor and a Ukrainian Missionary.
I listened….https://youtu.be/i4-rXA0uN8s (one story)
Shalom…Shalom… (perfect peace).
Kristy,
Thank you for your post. Your comment “The change occurs in us” deeply resonates with me. So often as a pastor I hope and pray for people to hear the message and for a response. I appreciate the perspectives you give with your experience as a counselor (Thank you). Well done!
Kristy,
I love that you are bringing a different belief here and calling it how you see it!
Thank you for challenging this book and all of us!