From Telling to Trusting
In Humble Leadership, Edgar and Peter Shein offer a leadership model and practical application that is relationship-centered and trust-driven. Their proposition is a far cry from where I began my leadership journey. Their insights offered two timely gifts: one, an affirming awareness of how my leadership has evolved; and two, a lens to better understand the transformation unfolding in my organization. This blog will first briefly explain humble leadership, noting where I am now fully able to embrace its concepts. Second, I will explore implications for application within my organizational context.
Schein and Shein define leadership as “the implementation of something new and better.”[1] But what determines better? Is it improved efficiency, better customer satisfaction scores, or increased church attendance? For a humble leader, outcomes are only part of the story.
According to the authors, humble leaders should strive to build relationships that are grounded in mutual trust and openness. These relationships reflect personization, which is accepting one’s colleagues as entire thinking, feeling people, rather than just as a role.[2] When humble leaders prioritize developing and maintaining relationships that foster a sense of trust among all organizational members, people at every level are willing to share what they know, including information that they alone may possess, to solve problems and meet the organization’s needs.[3]
To better express how I have grown as a leader, it helps to understand organizational relationships as described by the authors. They classify relationship levels ranging from -1 to 3, with humble leaders aiming for Level 2, which is characterized by a friendship-like relationship and is described as collaborative.[4] Level -1 is domineering, similar to a military hierarchy; Level 1 is transactional and based on role. At the other end is Level 3, characterized by intimacy as seen in a marriage. Both ends of the organizational relationship range are unhealthy in my context of denominational leadership.
Before ministry, I spent over 20 years in organizations characterized by, at best, Level 1 relationships. These were often shaped by the competitive nature of the teams and the pressure to bring products to market quickly.[5] In that environment, I became overdependent on using my role to demand results and utilizing decisive “system one” thinking to rush ahead. Understanding that I need to slow down and process more information using “system two” is one way I have grown towards humble leadership. [6]
Another helpful resource was recognizing the power of good questions, as seen in “Mining for Gold” by Tom Camacho. His point of view proposes using questions instead of telling as a coaching method for leadership development within a Christian framework by helping people discover their personal passion and giftedness. By learning to question better, I began partnering with the Holy Spirit to bring out the best in people.[7]
Rather than being a leader who knows and tells individuals or groups how to improve, maximize their potential, or take their next steps, I am becoming a leader who trusts that each person has the information within themselves to grow personally and contribute organizationally. This belief corresponds with what Schein and Schein refer to as situational humility. Situational humility acknowledges that one does not have all the answers. By utilizing questions, along with genuine openness and curiosity, a humble leader can discern needed information and empower those closest to problems with the ability to solve them.[8]
I used to think that effective leadership involved having courage and the ‘willingness to go first’ to bring a group to a preferred vision. Courage and willingness can be helpful, but other characteristics maximize people, not just outcomes. I now recognize my responsibility to meet individuals on a level playing field, seeing them as whole persons worthy of a relationship. In doing so, I reflect Christ’s love toward them.
In my current ministry setting, I have sensed a genuine shift in our denominational leadership and the receptivity of churches and pastors to various initiatives over the past year or so. In prior times, I have heard many unflattering names applied to the headquarters, the systems, and the programs. Notably, there has been a significant reduction in intergroup competition for resources as alignment around the core mission has taken place. Although the shift is becoming increasingly apparent, it is the result of several years of intentional effort to establish new norms of Level 2 relationships, rather than Level 1.[9] Diverse stakeholder groups have been invited to speak into our vision and accompanying strategies. They are dynamic and evolving as new information emerges. The humble leader at the head of all this positive change has encouraged me multiple times that positive, lasting change takes time. I can see this more clearly than ever, as it is built on the foundation of relational trust. I feel ready to take my place as a collaborative relationship builder.
[1] Edgar H. Schein and Peter A. Schein, Humble Leadership, Second Edition: The Power of Relationships, Openness, and Trust, Second Edition (Oakland: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2023), 4.
[2] Schein and Schein, Humble Leadership, 21.
[3] Schein and Schein, Humble Leadership, 58.
[4] Schein and Schein, Humble Leadership, 15.
[5] Schein and Schein, Humble Leadership, 74.
[6] See Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman for a complete contrast between System One (fast) and System Two (slow) thinking.
[7] Tom Camacho, Mining for Gold: Developing Kingdom Leaders Through Coaching, First published (IVP, 2019), 36.
[8] Schein and Schein, Humble Leadership, 12.
[9] Schein and Schein, Humble Leadership, 56.
About the Author
Julie O'Hara
4 responses to “From Telling to Trusting”
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Hey Julie,
I really appreciate how you pointed out that outcomes are only part of the story, not the whole picture. I’m curious—when you stepped into your role as a pastor, did you find you needed a shift in mindset after coming from years of experience in competitive business contexts? If so, what did that look like for you?
I love hearing about the positive shifts happening in your denomination and the way people are coming together around the core mission. That’s so encouraging!
Julie, I’m sure you are an excellent level 2 leader. I’m curious to know what sorts of questions you lean into to continue growing those relationships?
Hey Julie! We are back! I appreciate your candid perspective on your leadership. How has this reading impacted your Level 2 perspective going forward?
Julie, thanks for modelling and participating in the positive, lasting change you are seeing in your denomination and for growing more collaborative.
By offering questions and possibilities that invite other leaders in, you are shaping a future of the Nazarene churches built on the strength of many voices. Any further insight specific to your NPO journey?