Failure by Apathy
Reader alert – my content and statements are strong and emotional. Please understand it is not my intention to offend, but rather to challenge and demonstrate NERVE.
I originally planned to compose my blog on the brilliance and relevance of Edwin Friedman’s book Failure of Nerve. Dr. Clark even mentioned this text as one of the most important, and life changing, texts of our leadership reading list. But I woke up this morning (November 8th) and learned our country, specifically Thousand Oaks, California, became the target of yet another mass shooting by a white male (same profile of almost every domestic mass shooter in the United States) in which thirteen people have died (including the shooter). My hurting heart and mind wonder ‘how and why does this keep happening?’ I pose a probable cause – failure of nerve. Specifically, failure of nerve starting with myself regarding my own advocacy around gun control, and an even larger issue, failure of nerve of our churches, communities, local leaders and national leaders. I have to be honest, taking a strong stand on gun rights is not necessarily safe in my home (my spouse is a law enforcement officer and avid hunter – not to mention a huge advocate of gun rights; consequently we have many guns in our home). Nor is my very rural and conservative community open to discussing gun control and/or solutions to gun violence. But today, I’m taking a stand. Something needs to change, and it’s our access to guns.
Gun violence and mass shootings have become a part of everyday life for Americans. This was evident to me when two women were shot in a random shooting, by a white male, two weeks ago in a Tallahassee Florida yoga studio. The incident barely made news headlines. “An official at California’s Ventura County Sherriff’s office, speaking at a news conference Thursday morning, was almost certainly referring to the United States’ seeming epidemic of mass shootings when he said that the killings in Thousand Oaks were “part of the horrors that are happening in our country and everywhere, and I think it’s impossible to put any logic or any sense to the senseless.”[1] I respectfully disagree with the sheriff. There is a pattern that connects each of these mass shootings. The first pattern is the angry white man (in many cases feeling rejected –“other research suggests white men commit mass shootings out of a sense of entitlement”)[2] and …the second pattern is that every shooter had a gun. If you remove the gun from the scenario, the shooter(s) will still be angry and troubled thinking violent thoughts (and struggling to self-regulate). The difference in the equation is the gun – it’s easy to access, easy to purchase, and easy to use in a moment of instability. We owe it to ourselves, our children, and our seniors to manage guns better!
Did you know “several countries are now warning travelers bound for the United States to be on their guard. Because gun violence is a noted problem in America, visitors are asked to be aware of their surroundings, be vigilant in their activities, or even “exercise extreme caution” when interacting with local law enforcement officers.”[3] Wow! Are we ok with this? What a sad narrative on where we are nationally. I have to believe our very own citizens don’t even realize that internationally the United States is perceived as this dangerous. “We” claim to be the greatest nation – dominant economically, dominant militarily, dominant in freedoms, dominant in our cultural imprint around the world. But guess what, we are now dominant as an advanced country that has the highest rate of violent deaths “This data set provides a multinational example of the central point that lethal violence is the crucial problem in the United States,” Zimring and Hawkins write. “It shows the United States clustered with other industrial countries in crime rate, but head and shoulders above the rest in violent death.”[4]
In Chapter three of Failure of Nerve, Friedman challenges the modern idea that data and its analysis should drive all decision making. In fact he states “this a self-limiting, cultural myth, as powerful as the belief, rooted in the Middle Ages, that it was impossible for explorers to sail past the equator”.[5] I’m committed to forging ahead, with or without, the perfect statistics and data to back up my belief that something has to change regarding gun accessibility. Yes, I know it’s the second amendment of the constitution “the right to keep and bear arms”. The constitution was inherently flawed. As originally written, it was for the benefit of one population – the white man. Women had no voting rights and persons of color had no rights. Friedman identifies the qualities necessary for reorienting oneself out of limiting leadership into effective leadership. I’m willing to put greater emphasis on the emotional processes of self-definition, self-regulation, and non-reactivity to advocate for an overdue, immediate cultural need…gun control. Most importantly I aim to keep standing for who I am and what is true and good.[6]
[1] https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-partisan/wp/2018/11/08/the-thousand-oaks-massacre-is-more-evidence-the-u-s-needs-effective-gun-control-now/?utm_term=.cc98d0ac5785
[2] https://www.newsweek.com/white-men-have-committed-more-mass-shootings-any-other-group-675602
[3] https://www.tripsavvy.com/countries-warning-travelers-about-guns-in-us-4064865
[4] https://www.vox.com/2015/8/27/9217163/america-guns-europe
[5] http://highpointjourney.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Synopsis%E2%80%94A-Failure-of-Nerve.pdf
[6] file:///C:/Users/jollis/Documents/Documents/Personnel/George%20Fox/FALL%202018/Synopsis%E2%80%94A-Failure-of-Nerve.pdf
About the Author
Jean Ollis
26 responses to “Failure by Apathy”
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Hi Jean,
Thank you for your passioned and well written response. Do you remember Dr. Cliff’s Blog? https://blogs.georgefox.edu/seminary/the-right-not-to-bear-arms/
You and I have touched on this subject together before, and I agree, something HAS to be done.
To be honest though, I am paralyzed as to what can be done, short of NO ONE having ANY guns, and in this day of “rights” that simply is not going to happen, nor do I want it to.
“Gun Control” is an understandable reaction, I just don’t know what it means. Which specific part of gun control would your recommend for this complex situation?
I respect you greatly for your writing, and even more for your heart. I would like to keep talking about this together. We all love you Jean!
And now I am wishing I didn’t put that picture to close out my Blog this week…
Jay, I had to go look for the picture of course…and it makes me happy to see Lisa shot a deer! I have no issue with the safe and appropriate use of guns – and a full freezer of meat.
You make excellent points – and so did Mike – when he spoke of evil always existing in the world. The gun, however, is a more lethal means which causes more deaths.
One of the reciprocal effects of mass shootings and discussions of gun control is the ridiculous race to amass more guns. I’m particularly salty with the NRA who makes no effort to help solve the bigger issue of mass shootings and instead creates significant propaganda to instill fear of losing guns. Gun makers increase their production and people run out and buy assault rifles to add to their full gun safe.
I want to believe there is a better way – perhaps not a perfect solution, but a step in the right direction. Guns, inherently, may not be the problem. But guns, in the hands of the wrong person(s) are. Are you familiar with Australia’s model?
https://sites.psu.edu/jlia/united-states-vs-everybody-a-comparative-analysis-of-gun-laws-in-america-and-various-countries-around-the-world/
Jean.
There is great fear from those that I have talked with about traveling to the states. The news here only mentions the death and shooting in the states and thus I get asked from time to time whether I live in China because it is safer. I too feel like America is missing some key element in making our own schools, churches and malls a safe place to be. My worry is that many Americans would not care what the world thought of USA.
Like Jay, I too feel like I have no answers to what to do, how to move forward but I like that you will not back down from another “must discuss” topic.
Hi Greg! You would know first hand how the East perceives our situation here – especially in a country where there are no guns. And I think you are right…too many people don’t care about how the rest of the world perceives us. Interestingly, farmers are really hurting in our area because of the trade wars. Corn and soybean prices have plummeted and there is such a surplus of beans that they are getting piled up behind the grain bins. Suddenly, farmers are seeing the significance in international trade and their own income. Now they wish China was buying. As with all things, hindsight is 20/20.
I do think both countries are regretting their trade war and have too much pride to more toward reconciliation. I heard China is the #1 buyer of American soybeans which hurts American farmers and has driven prices for any soy products sky high. I know our conversation is a little “lighter” than others. 🙂
Hi Again Jean!
I have been thinking non-stop about your post, and wanted to check into the shooter’s profile from the heartbreaking California incident:
The shooter was not a law abider–he used an illegal magazine clip on his Glock handgun. The law did not work in this case. Law abiders follow the rules, but get penalized when law breakers do this, and then the incident gets heavily politicized.
He was former military with potential PTSD. Like so many who have experienced combat, who return home with non-visible scars, he was not able to separate from the ravages of war upon re-entry to civilian life.
He was thought to have mental health issues, but was not referred for further care by mental health workers after a pretty significant prior violent incident. Again, a breakdown in the system.
I am still searching for possible solutions, and wanted to keep our dialog going.
Again, thank you for your courage!
Hi Jay! I am so thankful we can have these dialogues! And I’m especially grateful that you have a heart to hear several sides and really work towards a solution. I think we should sit side by side in congress and show them how it’s done :). In all seriousness, I am intrigued by this most recent shooter’s profile. Veteran, PTSD, but they have yet to figure out a motive. I did hear one news clip which stated his mom was very scared of him. So the question is where did the system fail? Did he show signs of domestic violence and no one intervened? Even though he was using firearms illegally, he had ready access. How can we diminish access without penalizing everyone? I too want to be very intentional about working on realistic solutions. Let’s keep talking!
I love your passion and honesty Jean! I am starting to feel embarrassed to live in a country that has one of the highest rates of deaths by gunshot in the world. I agree that we can’t afford for our nerves to fail on this issue, especially when children are not feeling safe to go to school and adults are not feeling safe to enjoy being entertained in public. My heart breaks for all those who have felt the tragedy as a result of an angry person with a gun. Like Jay and Greg, I don’t have any brilliant ideas on how to make the most effective impact on this issue. 🙁
Hey Jake! Thanks for your thoughts! I know the answers to this “epidemic” of gun violence aren’t clear, but we need to keep working towards it. I don’t want to be the apathetic bystander who just accepts our society just as “the way it is today”. Do you have opinions for or against gun control?
It does seem like it is far too easy to acquire guns in this country than in other modern civilized countries, so yes, I am in favor of making it much more difficult to get them. I also don’t want to just go with the flow on this issue. What do you think would be the most effective course of action for you and I to take?
Hi Jake! I feel like I need to use my voice more in my conservative community and with my legislators. Before I do that, I want to have some potential solutions that are well informed. Are you familiar with Australia’s response to their mass shooting?
https://sites.psu.edu/jlia/united-states-vs-everybody-a-comparative-analysis-of-gun-laws-in-america-and-various-countries-around-the-world/
I’m also tired of the NRA’s lobbying power – they control all the rhetoric and decisions around gun control.
Thanks for directing me to that article, I was not aware of Austrailia’s response…very compelling. I agree we need to use our voice where we can and help stop all the senseless deaths. Way to go Jean!
Jean,
Excellent post and thanks for not having a failure of nerve!
The American constitution gives people the right to bear arms. But the second amendment was written in the late 18th century in a completely different historical context!! I agree with you, Jean, it is a flawed document when applied to today’s realities, and the failure to update the constitution with a 21st century amendment on this issue has been a failure of nerve and is a global embarrassment for the US. The failure to do this lowers the world’s respect for what was once a great country.
I feel anxious every time I cross the border to go south, and feel a heightened alert because I know there could be a gun under the driver’s seat of the cab I’m taking, or in the back waistband of the man lining up to pay in the grocery store. That is not our reality north of the border.
My dream would be to ban personal ownership of handguns and automatic weapons, or at minimum that these be stored and used only within licensed facilities for practice and entertainment. Let hunters and rural folk keep their rifles, but suitably locked up and licensed. But to get there, the US might have to face a Second Civil War because I don’t see the gun lobby gently acquiescing on this one.
Mark,
As a peaceful friend to the North I thought I might have an ally on this one! Thanks for your honest words. I’m intrigued by Australia’s response to a mass shooting many years ago. Have you heard?
https://sites.psu.edu/jlia/united-states-vs-everybody-a-comparative-analysis-of-gun-laws-in-america-and-various-countries-around-the-world/
Also, how does Canada manage their gun ownership? Do your police carry guns?
Yes Canadian police carry guns. There are strict protocols in place whenever one is removed from a holster even when not deployed.
We have gun violence here too, but unfortunately, much of it is from US guns smuggled illegally across the border by gangs etc. Even with that, Canadian gun violence is markedly lower as we don’t have a right to bear arms, and in general, most don’t see this as a right but as a responsibility.
Mark,
You make an excellent point with the shifting in paradigm – a responsibility vs. a right. I would like to see the citizens of the United States view the responsibility component as way more important than the “right”. We (United States) need to move away from ethnocentrism on this issue and study other models around the world.
Jean,
The loss of life is tragic. The pattern of violence in the mass homicides portrayed around our country and the world is horrific. I hear you. I grieve with you and your husband. I share experiences in his working world too. What is the quick fix? Besides the return of Jesus Christ for those who believe(d) in Him?
Stewardship of human life is the key for Freidman’s Nervy leaders. You know, I have lived and served in countries with gun control. Yes, it did reduce mass shootings, but not mass killings. Evil seems to always find a way I’m sorry to report. Yet, God reins! Praise the Lord, right!
We must never give up the good fight against evil. We are on the same team to save lives for Christ!
Stand firm,
M. Webb
Mike,
You are so wise and bring such worldly experience to this conversation. Thank you for reminding me that evil exists everywhere, and will continue to exist even if guns are removed from the equation. With that being said, because guns allow for more lethal manifestation of evil do you see any space for some kind of gun regulation? As military, former law enforcement, and missionary, you’ve seen just about everything and have a healthy respect for guns I’m sure. But does everyone need access? Are you familiar with Australia’s response to their one mass shooting?
https://sites.psu.edu/jlia/united-states-vs-everybody-a-comparative-analysis-of-gun-laws-in-america-and-various-countries-around-the-world/
Jean,
Thanks for being strong and demonstrating the nerve necessary to lead in this regard. I have never understood the American love for guns. I hunted occasionally with my grandfather as a teenager but that was really just an excuse to be near him. I am not opposed to owning a gun but there are none in my home and never have been. Having lived in New Zealand for 17 years, where even the police do not carry, I continue to be shocked and frustrated with the seemingly mindless application of the 2nd amendment.
However, I would say that I believe Mike is also correct. Gun control does not eliminate violence it simply makes it less deadly. As we have seen around the world in recent years airplanes, trucks and cars have also been used to hurt or kill others and we are not considering controlling them. Should there be greater restrictions on gun ownership – in my opinion absolutely, but that will not change hearts. In fact Thousand Oaks CA has some of the more restrictive laws on the books and yet it still happened.
To apply Friedman’s text to this context may be challenging but I wonder how it might influence the conversations you have with your husband and the other 2nd amendment advocates in your area. Thanks for your willingness to speak up.
Dan,
You make some excellent points – especially highlighting this “love of guns” in America. I have to be honest, I blame the NRA for a lot of the gun hysteria. It frustrates me that they (NRA) make no efforts to help solve the mass shooting mentality. Are they funneling money to mental health? NO. Are they educating men/women on behavioral regulation when angry or distressed? NO. They are spending their money encouraging people to buy more guns – even assault rifles. I desperately want to find a solution. As a country, we should be embarrassed by the mass shooting phenomenon. Instead, we’re too busy blaming. Check out this recent article:
https://www.apnews.com/d9e2f6f20c6c48869109c5f4a5d6d348
Are you familiar with the Australian model?
https://sites.psu.edu/jlia/united-states-vs-everybody-a-comparative-analysis-of-gun-laws-in-america-and-various-countries-around-the-world/
Jean
I know this is a difficult subject, especially with how it is viewed in your own community. I agree with you that something has to give but what is it. There are mass killings done with every available implement but that does not excuse what is happening here. It comes down to a sin issue and I agree with Mike, only Jesus coming back will completely fix this. There is also the issue of mental health and the absolute horrid track record this country has in helping those in need. I have seen it through my mom’s practice, I have seen it in those seeking help from my church and it is an epidemic. Add to that those who have come back from war and have not received the help they need for their PTSD and you have a powder keg. I know your heart is for people and I appreciate your post.
Jason
Hi Jason! Thanks for your thoughts. I so appreciate everyone’s willingness to engage in this challenging dialogue. You are correct that Mike makes an excellent point about evil existing everywhere – especially that evil will prevail. But what can we do now? Do you see any plausible solution to reducing the mass shootings? I know that it’s a loaded question, but I’m genuinely interested in trying to seek out a solution.
Hey Jean – Way to take a stand! I agree with you totally on this and you have defined yourself within the group on this. Now is where the rubber meets the road – the challenge to stay standing on this while not getting anxious when when people oppose you, and remaining connected to them. This is the hard part for me! But nevertheless, your sense of “enough is enough” and the data you used to back up your argument…all right on to me.
Chris,
Thank you for your support on this challenging topic. You are so right – taking a stand can be a challenge – and sticking to it even harder. But, like Friedman discussed, we miss chances by our failure of nerve. I know that our incredible team of 8’s can collectively work together, even in our differences, to look for potential solutions to the ridiculousness rate of deaths by guns. BTW, I’m so sorry that your corner of the world is being hit by so many devastating events – mass shooting and fire. Prayers lifted California!
Hi Jean,
Just responding here briefly to say thank you for your post and for the conversation with everybody who has chimed in so far! You touched a nerve.
I would say this: you are actually modeling what Friedman talks about as “staying connected”, which is part of what a self-differentiated leader does. Here you are with this bold post, on a hot topic, showing your passion, as well your strong position. But, then, when the conversation starts, you don’t shrink back from it, you “stay connected”, you write back and forth with people, you show love and care, even as you talk about a hard topic. Even in this online forum, you are doing what pastors and leaders of many kinds need to do in a local setting. Nice.
Jean, I so appreciate your boldness and honesty. Thank you.
As I read your post I thought, well it’s in our DNA. We wanted to be free, free to do whatever we wanted without rule of the British and here we are. I am not happy about where we are today and I hate that there is fear from outside and within our country. I shudder to think of what my children are going to grow up with if we change nothing. We have to sit down and at least attempt to figure out what to do as a government and communities. We are to hung up on politics and issues that don’t get to the heart of the problem – innocent lives lost (nearly daily for the last two years). I don’t know the best approach but would like to see our freedom’s limited in favor of caring for one another better. I think there is much we could learn by gathering the policies from a few other countries who have lowered shootings such as Australia.
Also, I am interested how this conversation goes in your home and how you are living healthy self-differentiation together – because I am sure you are. 🙂