Exploring “Why We’re Wrong About Nearly Everything”
I once heard it said that the greatest lie of all time is that we think we’re thinking, but in reality, most of the time, we’re simply operating off social conditioning and habit. Upon initially hearing this statement, I couldn’t help but pause and see its truth. I then began wondering how much of what I usually think is not what I think. Contemplating this, my mind jumped back to my freshman year of college. It was day one of “Communication 101,” I’ll never forget the professor stating, “Your perception is your reality.” It blew my mind to think about this. I was 16 then, and it was one of my first memories of a teacher inviting me to challenge what I saw, felt, and believed as “ truth.” For weeks and months, my mind would continue to spin ( in all the most exciting and wondrously furious ways), jumping down the rabbit hole of human behavior to engage all things related to perception, truth, and right versus wrong.
The Illusion of Understanding
How confident are you in your understanding of the world? Does most of what you hear, see, read, or engage make sense and do you feel certain that your sensemaking of it all is accurate? Better yet, what does it mean to be accurate or right in your understanding?
I invite you to think about a time when you were really certain about something, but it turned out you were wrong. Take a moment to reflect on what happened and how it felt.
In Kathryn Shultz’s TED Talk, ”On Being Wrong,” she opens by inviting the audience to consider a similar question. They respond with negative feelings often associated with being wrong, or so they think. Upon hearing responses such as “bad” and “embarrassed,” Shultz highlights how those are actually answers to a different question: “What does it feel like to realize you’re wrong?” [1] She goes on to reveal how, in reality, being wrong feels like being right because we don’t know we’re wrong most of the time. She shares two powerful examples to help make her case. The first is of a road trip she took with a friend where she found herself regularly befuddled by a sign they kept passing written in Chinese. When she asked her friend if she knew what it meant, her friend immediately laughed and said that it wasn’t Chinese but a picnic table symbol to indicate an upcoming rest area. Upon being provided the alternative view, she instantly knew her friend was right and couldn’t believe how easily she had misinterpreted something seemingly so simple. The second example is of a doctor at Mass General Hospital in Boston who operated on the wrong side of a woman’s body. When the PR team spoke about the incident, they said, “For whatever reason, the doctor simply felt like he was performing on the right side of the body”[2]. These scenarios give us great insight into the relativeness of “rightness” and how relying too heavily on a feeling can lead to dangerous repercussions. That said, when it comes to the illusion of understanding, I believe what’s most important is being aware that our perception shapes our sense of reality and then investigating the depth of its impact/influence on our lives. Shultz says, “Our capacity to err is essential to our ability to learn and grow” [3], and I couldn’t agree more, but if that’s the case, then we need to explore what gets in the way of our ability to embrace failure and understand why “We’re Wrong About Nearly Everything.”
The Influences Within and Around Us
In “Why We’re Wrong About Nearly Everything,” Bobby Duffy outlines how research highlights how much people grossly misunderstand the world. Despite an overabundance of information on the internet, research says we haven’t necessarily grown better informed because of it. Duffy takes a deep dive into this, citing two main reasons why we get so many things wrong: 1) how we think (the internal biases and mental shortcuts that lead us astray) and 2) what we’re told (by media, society, and our families).[4] Ultimately he says why we’re wrong has everything to do with the interplay of how our brains think and the media, using his book to show us how each feeds off of the other, with the power of vivid imagery via anecdotes driving our thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. [5]
In discussing “mental shortcuts” that often undermine our ability to think for ourselves, Duffy pulls from Daniel Kahneman’s work in “Thinking Fast and Thinking Slow.” His book explores the two “systems” of our brains constantly fighting for control over our behavior and actions: System One is automatic and impulsive (i.e. mental activity performed without effort), whereas System Two is conscious, aware, and considerate (i.e. mental activity that requires effort) [6]. Through these two systems, Kahneman highlights how our brains are naturally lazy and default to the route of least resistance. This is where I go back to the “greatest lie in the world” because while we might initially think we’re making active decisions, our brains are wired for what’s easy, which gives way to various “intellectual errors”[7] – such as confirmation bias and the Dunning-Kruger effect. Again we learn where we can and can’t trust our “gut” feelings.
What’s interesting about Duffy’s work is that he looks at more than 10 studies by IPSOS across 40 countries to explore why populations in some countries seem more informed than others and how to address the gaps in ignorance. The studies highlight polls on subjects such as teen pregnancy, immigration levels, crime rates, global poverty, and how many people use Facebook [8]. Questions like “Is the Great Wall of China seen from Outer Space?” are used to understand what influences our responses. For this specific question, 50% of the respondents got it wrong. When we investigate why, we’re shown a handful of explanations that have to do with “drawing on faulty prior knowledge, answering a different question than the one we are asked, juggling comparisons across different scales, relying on ‘fast thinking,’ and missing how our emotions shape what we see and think” [9]. Duffy says we combat these “perils of perception” on a daily basis. Something that often hits me is just how much inaccurate information we consume from what we assume are “credible sources” like authority figures/ thought leaders, TV shows and news.
Of course, this is only the beginning regarding external influences. Another popular saying is, “ We don’t see things as they are; we see things as we are,” which speaks to the cultural lens and societal narratives we must unpack if we want to discern their influence on our perceptions and ability to shape our understanding. We filter everything through a biased lens that we often don’t realize is biased until someone points it out concretely. The question then becomes, how do we empower ourselves to discern truth from falsehood?
How We Know What to Believe
Duffy closes the book with a variety of solutions for managing our misunderstandings. While there is no escaping being wrong about nearly everything, Duffy says there is still hope. This hope can be found in slowing down to discern whether we’re being led astray and knowing the common traps that led to our grossly biased worldviews. A few of the ways forward he names that resonate most with me include accepting the emotion but challenging the thought, cultivating skepticism but not cynicism, anticipating and embracing the diversity of perspectives we each bring, and remembering that facts aren’t “cure-alls” but do have value.[10] While there’s a lot of work to be done on a larger scale in terms of shifting critical, statistical, and news literacy, the way forward can be summed up in what Tim Halford calls his “golden rule,” which is about staying open and curious. [11] If we remain curious, we’ll be less likely to misunderstand, and the world will open up in a new way. This includes not only asking questions of how we decide what information to believe when we see it online, TV, or print news, but also about how to know when to trust our emotions as helpful support versus when they’re aiding an unhealthy sensationalism.
Ultimately, if we focus more energy on thinking slowly, embracing humility, seeking out diverse perspectives, listening with openness and empathy, and leaning into the gift that comes from a continual process of embracing our ability to err and get things wrong, our world will be all the better for it.
[1]Kathryn Schulz, “On Being Wrong,” www.ted.com (TED, March 2011), https://www.ted.com/talks/kathryn_schulz_on_being_wrong?language=en.
[2]Ibid
[3]Ibid
[4]Sturesson, André . “Why We’re Wrong about Nearly Everything – Professor Bobby Duffy.” www.youtube.com. Health Psychology and Human Nature, March 10, 2020. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86tfiGCmiNE.
[5] Ibid
[6]Kahneman, Daniel. Thinking, Fast and Slow. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2011.
[7]Ibid
[8] Duffy, Bobby. Why We’re Wrong about Nearly Everything : A Theory of Human Misunderstanding. New York, New York : Basic Books, 2019.
[9]Ibid
[10]Ibid
[11] Harford, Tim. Data Detective: Ten Easy Rules to Make Sense of Statistics. New York City, New York, US: Riverhead Books, 2022.
About the Author
Akwese
12 responses to “Exploring “Why We’re Wrong About Nearly Everything””
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Akwese,
You had me at freshman in college at age 16. That is crazy young!
I am pretty stubborn, and don’t usually admit to being wrong about much. Though, I will admit to making a conclusion with false or limited information. I am learning to humble myself more and more and am more willing to be wrong. One thing that I realize about myself and my own thoughts is that I have always viewed the gospel through one lens. But I have been learning over the last decade or so to view the gospel in 3D. Which means, that I can only see what I can see from my angle. I need others, living on other sides of the world, to share what they see of the gospel from their perspective since I can’t see it.
Is there a belief you have realized that you held firmly but then later realized was off?
Ha, yes Adam I definitely started young! Thank you for your response and great question though. I love this idea of viewing the gospel in 3D. This might not be the best example but it’s what first came to mind when you asked about a belief I held to strongly. I’ll never forget the day I learned one of my friend’s parents was White. Their mom is White American and their dad Sri Lankan. It is VERY clear to see however in my head they were simply a Sri Lankan American family and despite seeing their mom on multiple occasions, my mind neglected to register her as White, until one day it came up and I looked at her and my mind was blown. At first, I didn’t believe it and then was horrified by how oblivious I was ( especially since she’s blonde with blue eyes). That was probably one of the first moments I started to explore identity and racial constructs. It still amazes me today how our minds can literally see things so differently than they are based on the context, what registers in our brain, and the surrounding information we associate with the thing.
Akwese,
Nice post, you discuss cultural lenses and societal narratives which reminds me of how Skye Jethani talks about how many people create God in their image. We create the God that we want and not see the one that actually exists. As you have traveled way more than I have, how have your cultural narratives been challenged over the years? Is there just one example that really sticks out?
Jeff! Thanks for your response and great question. I’ve struggled to come up with just one example that sticks out ha! That said, in general, I’ve found that I can never assume one way is the “right” way over another. Whenever I’ve done that I’ve always been left frustrated until I finally release the assumption to God at which point I’m normally taken over by laughter and gratitude for God teaching me to be flexible and to adapt to each cultural context I’m in. Would love to exchange some stories on this “live” when we’re next in person 🙂
Hi Akwese, Thanks for the challenge. I was wrong about someone who worked for me about 5 years ago. Because I liked the way the person interviewed, I hired him for a position he really was not suited to do well. After a while I needed to release him to do something else. It was a tough time but I it was an opportunity for growth for me, and hopefully for him as well. Are you able to answer your own question?
Diane, thanks for sharing! Your example here is one I also relate to. I hate to admit how many times I have hired the wrong person for the job. In my situation, I did it time and time again until I finally realized specific patterns amongst all the individuals I brought on that just weren’t working out. When I asked myself how and why, I realized it was due to a huge miss on my part when it came to these people’s skill sets and sense of personal accountability. While I have not had to hire for any ongoing roles since this big aha, I have brought on a couple contractors and I am happy to say that I was able to use the awareness of my prior blindness to support my hiring efforts and ended up having two really wonderful working experiences.
Akwese,
Great summary of the book and weaving in what we’ve read prior to this week! I felt like I could read your blog post and be caught up :-).
The statement from Schultz about our capacity to make mistakes becomes important to our growth potential hit home for me. How much of that resonates with you?
And, how much of Halford’s golden rule do you engage with? Are there times when you know you are not being open and curious? How does that relate to your NPO?
Hi Nancy, thanks for your response! To answer your first question, it really resonates with me as someone who values life-long learning and believes EVERYTHING is there to teach us something. The one distinction I make is that I don’t necessarily see it as a “mistake” or failure because I see it more so as road bumps that aid us in being able to succeed. So it’s simply more of just understanding that there is a process and remembering to hold the larger vision always.
Regarding that ” golden rule,” I try to remain as curious as I can however Im human so I certainly need reminders but am grateful to both God and the anchors in my life that help guide me back to this. Regarding my NPO, I’ve found curiosity to be something I lean too much into in some regards and not enough in others but ultimately how I have peace in best applying it is to listen to the Spirit.
Akwese, thanks for your thought provoking blog. It’s a great syntopical summary of what we’ve been reading on how we think, or don’t think, about things. Which of your cited resources are you most likely to recommend to a student? Why?
Oooh, great question Graham! I actually used to facilitate a workshop On Being Wrong, where I’d share Shultz’s work, as part of a larger year-long fellowship program for global leaders. I still think this is something I’d share/recommend with students because it’s presented in a way that feels accessible for everyone. If people wanted to take things one step deeper I’d recommend Kahneman’s book as an invitation to become more self-aware and intentional in our lives.
Akewese, thank you for this thorough article. As a coach, I’m wondering how you might integrate these insights both personally, and with your clients? Are there other areas of your life where you also see application, especially as a follower of Jesus?
HI Akwèse. Thanks for weaving all of the different readings together! I agree with Nancy, we can read this and catch up or have a great review. In your last paragraph you gave a list of things that would help improve our world: “…thinking slowly, embracing humility, seeking out diverse perspectives, listening with openness and empathy, and leaning into the gift that comes from a continual process of embracing our ability to err and get things wrong…” Of these, which one do you do the best? Which one do you most desire to improve?