Encounters with Myself (in which Pierre Bayard helps me to grasp the benefits of self-serving non reading)
Kirin lived far enough from Lakeridge High School that she could have taken the bus. But lucky for me, my best friend preferred to walk. I lived half way between Kirin’s house and the school, so each morning we met up at the bottom of Sunny Hill Drive to make our way together. We were both in Honors English, but while Kirin was an avid reader, I had not yet discovered my love for literature. I couldn’t be bothered with Heart of Darkness, Moby Dick, or Call of the Wild. So each morning, while we made our way to school, I’d ask Kirin about the assigned reading from the day before and she’d give me her summary of what had happened in the book. Then we’d go on to talk about more important things like boys and clothes and movies. Despite my solid commitment to “non reading,” my grades were consistently as good as (sometimes better) than Kirin’s. Bayard would have been proud.
How did I do it? Looking back, it seems my methods were similar to those that Bayard describes in his book How to Talk About Books You Haven’t Read (in which I found myself laughing out loud, ironically reading every word—not because I felt obliged; but, because I was so thoroughly enjoying the authors’ dry wit).
In short, it was my narcissism that enabled me to succeed in Honors English.
Bayard repeatedly alludes to the self-serving nature of both “reading” and “non reading,” and I found myself both giggling at and convicted by the truth of his assertions. Indeed, every book I’ve ever read has been integrated into my own “internal library” where it has taken on a life of its own that may, in the end, have little or nothing to do with the book itself.[1] And that includes the books I loved. Bayard even suggests that “the chances of wounding an author by speaking about his book are all the greater when we love it…there is every likelihood that trying to be more precise in our exposition of why we appreciated the book will be demoralizing for him” (which leads me to believe I ought to refrain from praising Bayard, lest I discourage him) [2].
I’ve not authored any books, but I often have a similar experience when preaching. Many a Sunday I have presented a carefully crafted, theologically sound, dynamically delivered sermon, only to have an enthusiastic congregant meet me after the service to thank me for saying something I was not only certain I didn’t say, but am horrified to have attributed to me. One wonders what happens to words between the pastor’s lips and the parishioner’s ears. Like authors, pastors must face that “what is said about their books [or sermons] does not correspond to what they believe they have written.”[3]
As a pastor, I feel the author’s pain. But as a reader (and a parishioner as well), I know I am guilty of this. Nevertheless, Bayard would seek to assuage my guilt, suggesting that the narcissistic pursuit of reading is not something to be avoided, but rather embraced. I don’t read for the good of the author, I read for the good of the reader (which, in the case of the author of this post, is me). This is clearest is the final chapter of the final section of the book, where Bayard begins to discuss literary criticism.
***Spoiler Alert*** Bayard supports criticizing books one hasn’t read!
Having grown up with the adage, “you can’t judge a book by the cover,” and being a bit of a literary snob (turns out that once I emerged from adolescence, I discovered I loved reading and pursued a BA in English Literature), I often find myself irritated by people who criticize books they haven’t bothered to read.
Let me take you back to Evangelical Christian United States of America, circa 1999 (in which I discovered, much to my delight the Harry Potter series). While I found myself enamoured with the magical world that J.K. Rowling created, I was confronted on all sides by Christian friends who were “deeply concerned about my foray into witchcraft.” They were sharply critical of the book series because, you know, witches are bad. And their criticism of the book was two dimensional and un-nuanced, and could be basically boiled down to the argument, “witches are bad.”
Based on that experience (in which I got myself dubbed “the Patron Saint of Harry Potter” for relentlessly defending the honor of said series in Christian circles), I would have sworn that NO ONE would ever be able to convince me of the merits of criticizing a book one hasn’t read. And then along comes Bayard, with his narcissist-affirming approach to criticism. Alas and Alack, I get it. “Criticism is the record of a soul, and that soul is its deep object, not the transitory literary works that serve as supports in that quest.” [4]
For both me and my witchcraft-wary friends, the soul was the object, not Harry Potter. We were both building our inner libraries, constructing our inner worlds, and being truthful to ourselves—through a conversation situated in our communal library. Just as I had done so many times, all those years ago, walking to school with my best friend, Kirin. Books are merely a means of self-discovery and self-identification! It turns out my non reading criticisms of Melville and Conrad not only earned me great grades, they served to shape my very self. Who knew non reading could be so productive?
[1] Pierre Bayard, How to Talk About Books You Haven’t Read, First (New York: Bloomsbury, 2010). Kindle loc 1155.
[2] Ibid. 1323.
[3] Ibid. 1312
[4] Ibid. 2263.
About the Author
Jennifer Williamson
Jenn Williamson is a wife and mother of two adult sons. Before moving to France in 2010, she was the women's pastor at Life Center Foursquare Church in Spokane, WA. As a missionary with Greater Europe Mission, she is involved in church planting and mentoring emerging leaders. Jenn benefitted from French mentors during her transition to the field, and recognizes that cross-cultural ministry success depends on being well integrated into the host culture. Academic research into missionary sustainability and cultural adaptation confirmed her own experience and gave her the vision to create Elan, an organization aimed at helping missionaries transition to the field in France through the participation of French partners.5 responses to “Encounters with Myself (in which Pierre Bayard helps me to grasp the benefits of self-serving non reading)”
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Jennifer,
Thanks for your transparent reflection on your high school experiences and your early non-reading successes. You are not only very bright, but spiritually gifted to see into life and literature through the eyes and minds of others. I can envison how the Holy Spirit can use you in many God honoring pastoral activities.
I have experienced the same situation as you, different people, hearing the same message, but interpreting it differently. I think sometimes it is the work of the Holy Spirit translating the message into the hearts and minds of people exactly where they need to meet Christ. Sometimes, it is another subtle scheme of the devil to distract, divide, and destroy.
Great post, you have impressed me again with your witchy humor and narcissist denials. Keep up the great near-reading as we navigate our literary journey towards our dissertation defense. Will you be our “Kirin?”
P.S. Saying the alphabet backwards comes in handy on DUI field sobriety tests. I’m just saying…..
Stand firm,
M. Webb
Thanks for reminding me of the spiritual aspect, Mike. You are right! Sometimes God speaks something someone needs to hear, in spite of me–and that’s grace! And sometimes the enemy comes in and sows confusion. I find this happens less on a “sermon” level and more on an interpersonal level. But it certainly happens.
As for the sobriety tests–well, I’m hoping I don’t need to put my talent to work in that arena. 🙂
Hi Jenn!
I am so glad you mentioned, “One wonders what happens to words between the pastor’s lips and the parishioner’s ears.” I cannot tell you how many times situations have come up for me exactly as you described. I certainly agree with Mike about the work of the Holy Spirit. Thank the Lord we are not in control and He works in spite of us…
Very clever post Jenn. I love how you naturally lived out the principles in the book in order to get through school with flying colors. I too was a non-reader in high school and barely opened Cliff notes, let alone the assigned reading yet somehow managed to graduate with a 3.8 gpa. I also love how you are the patron saint of Harry Potter because I have never read the books, but since they are so mainstream I feel like I can talk about them pretty well, even though I have never really understood the land of Harry Potter. Maybe you can enlighten me some time of the deep theological merits of Harry Potter so I can be officially converted. Wondering if going to Harry Potter land in Orlando and drinking butter beer counts for anything. 🙂
Great post, Jenn! I liked how you wove your own stories into the content of the reading, as well as the experience of reading this book. I definitely resonate with a lot of what you wrote, the only issue is that I wish I had written it as well as you did!