Don’t take away my snacks!
Before leaving for school, I would always ask my mom for some cash so I could buy myself a snack. I loved eating flavored crackers. I would watch my classmates eating all kinds of junk food, and I figured — if they were doing it, it must be okay for me too. This was back in elementary school. I still clearly remember one day, as I was heading to my music school classes, my stomach began to hurt. Normally, it would hurt a little and then stop. But this time was different. The pain was so intense that I dropped to the floor and began to cry. What was wrong with me?
When I shared this with my mom, she immediately took me to the doctor, who handed me a giant list of all the things I could no longer eat — a list filled with my favorite foods! Why was this happening to me and not to my classmates? (It probably did happen to them too; I just didn’t know about it.)
Bobby Duffy, in his book Why We’re Wrong About Nearly Everything, talks about how we misunderstand so much about life — from diet and eating habits to happiness, money, immigration, and more. He writes, “We are wired to notice things that confirm our worldview, and ignore those that contradict it.”[1] Why is that? There are billions of people in the world, which means billions of different stories and perspectives on life.
For example, I love watching soccer. So when someone shares their opinion on games and which teams are better, I would politely (and sometimes not so politely) interrupt and correct them because, in my mind, my favorite team, Lokomotiv, was the best team in Russia (even though that wasn’t exactly true). I was creating — and in some ways still am — a world that feels comfortable and happy for me to live in. What does that mean? It means that many times, I believed my worldview was better than that of others.
Duffy reminds us that it’s easy to misunderstand statistics and the “truths” we think we know. On every single topic, people’s opinions often differ wildly from the actual data. He writes, “Our personal experience and stories are vivid and powerful — but often misleading.”[2] Could it be that we tend to rush to conclusions based on what we see, rather than taking the time to dig deeper into people’s real thoughts and experiences?
For example, at my school in Moscow, everyone knew I was a Seventh-day Adventist (SDA). But before anyone took the time to learn what we actually believe or what the church stands for, I was already labeled as part of a cult. Not gonna lie — it hurts when people jump to conclusions without searching for facts. (This reminded me of last week’s reading, where Simon Walker shared how people often make assumptions before actually searching for truth.) The reality is, yes, there are some crazy SDAs out there, but at the end of the day, all I wanted was to be someone who follows the Bible and Jesus.
So why was my stomach hurting? Even within my family, my parents would say, “Oh, just a little bit of cake won’t hurt.” And as true as that might seem, a little bit, repeated five times a day, makes a big difference. I kept eating things I wasn’t supposed to. My stomach pain became a normal part of life. But then, when I left Russia and came to a boarding school, the only food served was vegan! Not vegetarian — vegan! Where was my chicken? Where were my favorite flavored crackers? As much as I was forced into that change, I realized something: on a vegan diet, I never experienced that stomach pain again. Don’t worry — these days, I still get to enjoy my chicken. But the more I focus on clean, simple foods, the better my body feels.
The truth is, the food industry is a money-making machine, not a hospital telling us what’s good or bad for us to eat. Duffy warns us about the dangers of misunderstanding, writing, “We tend to feel more certain than we should, and that certainty leads us to double down on beliefs that might be flawed.”[3]
Footnotes:
[1] Duffy, Bobby. Why We’re Wrong About Nearly Everything: A Theory of Human Misunderstanding. PublicAffairs, 2021, p. 34.
[2] Ibid., p. 57.
[3] Ibid., p. 189.
About the Author
Ivan Ostrovsky
6 responses to “Don’t take away my snacks!”
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Thanks Ivan. I am wondering what your view is now on anyone becoming an expert at anything. Do you think that’s possible or do you think their expertise may be their own perspective and nothing could be absolute truth?
How do you think what is perceived as truth can be discovered if people can have their own views and no one agrees. Jesus being the Way, Truth and Life is seen today as a personal assertion because there is the belief that truth and morality are subjective and differ from person to person, with no universal agreement, but we would assert it IS truth. But that’s seen as purely personal opinion. Nietzsche argued that what people call truth is just a human-made construct, shaped by language, power, and interpretation and he believed that truth is often a matter of power assertion, rather than being an objective reality.
I know that the theory of gender was believed as non negotiable but now is seen as a social construct rather a than fixed reality. I find it hard to argue my perspective that God created two genders in the face of such strong assertion that the idea seems basic and lacking in evidence of personal experience that asserts a personal reality.
What do you think or how do you navigate the discussions about absolute truth versus individualistic philosophical relativism in your role as a youth pastor ?
Thank you, Betsy, for such a thoughtful question! To address your inquiry about my views on absolute truth, I believe that, as humans, we do not possess it. As a Christian, I hold that Jesus and His teachings represent absolute truth. Proverbs 30:5 states, “Every word of God proves true; He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him.” Additionally, John 14:6, which you mentioned, says, “Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life…’”
Even when I read the Scriptures repeatedly, I continue to learn something new, which reminds me that I will never stop learning. Still, this is just my perspective, shaped by my upbringing, teachings, and the knowledge I’ve gained through exploration and study. Many people today might look at me and think I’m crazy for holding these beliefs — but I’m okay with that. I believe I have tasted and seen that the Lord is indeed good.
When it comes to my youth, I love sharing my convictions with them, but I also challenge them to ask questions and think for themselves. The last thing I want is for them to feel forced to believe in something — or in someone — if they do not see authenticity.
If someone has experienced or witnessed something firsthand — for example, seeing a person steal a bag of chips from a gas station — they might claim it’s an absolute truth that the theft occurred. However, if I wasn’t there to witness it myself, I would need to either watch video evidence or trust their account. As humans, we all view things from different perspectives, and I believe it’s important to keep an open ear, listen, and seek to understand other people’s views.
I like the analogy. I’d probably embellish with, “Pry my cold, dead hands from my flavored crackers.” I won’t get my cholesterol checked for fear of hearing about my ice cream habit.
Going vegan forced a change to your worldview. Recognizing that Duffy says “there is no magic formula to deal with our delusions,” do you have a going-vegan suggestion that would make us less-wrong?[1] Other than Haidt’s dramatic solution to turn in my smart phone, of course.
[1] Duffy, 240.
I have seen vegans entering meat stores and protesting against people eating meat by causing a scene and possibly even damaging the facilities. I believe that is one of the worst ways to try to change someone’s mind. I think the best way to prove something is to live it out myself. For example, I can’t consider myself a vegan or even a vegetarian because I eat meat occasionally. Why? Because I love my chicken and beef. However, I can say that when I was indulging in my favorite snacks and a lot of meat without considering my health, I was really hurting from all the food I was consuming. When I was forced to avoid dairy and eat what Daniel and his friends were having in the book of “Daniel,” I felt much better, and the pain went away. At the end of the day, I do not think it’s a salvational issue, but I think that God cares so much for all of us that we can find in the Bible teachings about the best foods for our health.
Ivan,
I can empathize with you well on this journey. When both of our kids were home, there were days when we would have three to four different meals prepared in our kitchen. My wife does not eat soy or gluten, my daughter is vegan, and my son is an anti-veggie carnivore. I was the recipient of all three because I had no dietary restrictions—as of yet. I was labeled the garbage gut.
As empty nesters, the process has simplified quite a bit.
Reflecting on your relationship with Lokomotiv, what could you have done differently to broaden your perspective? The name is one of the best, BTW, but that might be a delusion. I love its sound because of its relationship to a freight train. I know that these feelings can come at an early age. And reflecting on your SDA statement. Were you able to reconcile and educate others to help them develop a broader understanding?
In areas of our country, college football IS a religion. No disputing that for many of those who are in those fan bases. It is delusional.
Michael, thank you for sharing about your family—I really smiled at the “garbage gut” part! I can only imagine how busy your kitchen must have been with all those different meals. Regarding the SDA thing, I didn’t really try to explain who we were. I was too young, and the school felt enormous. But I did my best to be kind and help where I could—I think that was the best way I knew to show who I was. And yes, I still love the name Lokomotiv! But you’re right—I’ve learned that part of growing is respecting that others love their teams just as much, and that’s okay too. I really appreciate your thoughts!