Developing Character for Life as a Violin Apprentice
My violin teacher threw a pencil at me. I grabbed it in mid-air.
“Nope. You caught it. Try to catch it.”
I was confused. “But I did catch it,” I protested.
“I want you to TRY to catch it,” she repeated.
She threw the pencil at me again.
It twisted through the air as it flew across the room but with a little more effort this time, I caught it again.
She reiterated, “No. Stop and think about it. How do you TRY to catch it? Either you catch it… or you don’t. You can’t ‘try’.”
If I had been in a cartoon, the light bulb would have suddenly appeared over my head.
Now she explained, “There is no ‘try’. Either you do it, or you don’t.”
Point taken: stop saying, “I’ll try” when she asks me to do something challenging that will make the music better. Just trust her, make the attempt, and fix as I go.
[In The Empire Strikes Back (1980) Yoda said, “Do or do not. There is no try.” I wonder (in retrospect) if that’s where she got the idea. This event occurred around 1983.]
Decades later, of all the private lessons I had with Linda Laderach over three years in college about how to play violin and make music, this is the lesson that stands out most clearly in my mind.
This is leadership. Yes, I was her apprentice in music, but more importantly, I was her apprentice in life. I now studiously avoid the words, “I’ll try” (when I can catch myself), and commit to doing something… or not doing it.
Studying violin in college was like a leadership (and life) incubator because I learned other lessons during this time as well.
When I was a first-year in the college orchestra (at a woman’s college we don’t say “freshman”), I was placed in the second chair next to the concertmaster, a woman who was a senior. We started to get to know each other a bit. I often heard her practicing in the music building’s practice rooms late at night. (I preferred practicing first thing in the morning, when I was fresh.) During orchestra rehearsals, she would often lean over to me and suggest how to play a tough measure or bounce my bow for a certain effect.
The first few times that happened, I had to make a decision: I could protect my ego by smiling, nodding, and then ignoring her. Or I could humble myself to learn from an older, more experienced student. At the age of 18, I thought I knew a lot. Fortunately, something within me allowed me to swallow my pride and take these mini-lessons from her.
I don’t remember a thing she said to me (I am even struggling to remember her name, though I remember what she looked like), but I do remember the value of taking feedback with humility. That was something I had to learn at that point in my life… and am still being reminded about regularly!
In her book, Leadersmithing, Eve Poole spends a chapter discussing character. I would chalk up these learning experiences to character formation at a critical time in my young adult life.
Poole explains that “When we meet virtuous people, people of ‘good character’, there is something durable and reliable about them. Their values are the core of their being. They cannot avoid being virtuous, it is somehow in their DNA. Character is not about doing but about being. It is not an activity, but an intrinsic property… This brand, this guarantee of virtue and honour, is extraordinarily powerful” [1] .
As Christian leaders, I agree compeletely that character is not about what we do; it’s about who we are becoming in Christ. (As a side note, I think it’s interesting that she talks about it as your “brand”. That’s worthy of another blog post.)
Poole goes on, regarding character: it’s “what defines you as a leader. This is the stuff you are made of. In this context, it becomes the essence of your personal brand… It is all you have left when everything else falls away”[2].
I’ve thought quite a bit about character over the last few years. I have written (and am editing) some books that, together, describe what I call Integrated Discipleship. In my manuscript I contend that “the central task of the church is character transformation: inviting and guiding people to become more like Jesus Christ. Too many churches struggle to do this effectively.”[3]
I also write about what I call the ABCs of discipleship: Attitude, Behavior, and Character, which are informed by your values and identity. Values are the beliefs and principles that guide your behavior and decision-making; they are the core ideas and standards that individuals – or societies – consider important. Your identity is your sense of self; who you are and to whom you belong. Identity is always in relation to others.
Your attitude is what you think and how you think it. Your character is what you would do automatically, without thinking, if no one were watching. And your behavior is the outward expression of all these traits and characteristics.
I love how Poole emphasizes “templating” to be prepared for any scenario, to give your brain and your body practice for stressful situations.
Although I’m surprised Poole doesn’t mention it, this reminds me of practicing as a musician; the muscle memory that is necessary to avoid slip-ups in the tricky passages of music, just as in life.
We do need to “template” or practice our Christ-like values, identity, attitudes, and behaviors. That helps us develop the character of Jesus Christ, and we can only do that through practice, practice, practice. If we want to know what Jesus’s values were, read the Sermon on the Mount every day for a month. That will shift your values from what the world thinks is important and dramatically transform your character! Then develop a Rule of Life that helps you practice the character you aspire to.
I think again about the profound impact my college violin teacher had on my life. She was the master and I was the apprentice. Dallas Willard uses the same term to describe how we are apprentices of Jesus, and how that intentional apprenticeship is life-altering:
“A disciple, or apprentice, is simply someone who has decided to be with another person, under appropriate conditions, in order to become capable of doing what that person does or to become what that person is. How does this apply to discipleship to Jesus?…
The answer is found in the Gospels: he lives in the kingdom of God, and he applies that kingdom for the good of others and even makes it possible for them to enter it for themselves…
As a disciple of Jesus I am with him, by choice and by grace, learning from him how to live in the kingdom of God. This is the crucial idea. That means, we recall, how to live within the range of God’s effective will, his life through mine. Or, I am learning from Jesus to live my life as he would live my life if he were I… I am learning how to do everything I do in the manner that he did all that he did.” [4]
Christlike character only comes through apprenticeship to the Master and daily practice. What will you do today, as Jesus’s apprentice? And how will that build your Christlike character as a leader?
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[1] Eve Poole, Leadersmithing; Revealing the Trade Secrets of Leadership. (New York, Bloomsbury Publishing, 2017), 49.
[2] Ibid., 50.
[3] Deborah Owen, From the Inside Out; Experiencing New Life in Christ with the Neuro-based Enneagram and Integrated Discipleship. Unpublished manuscript.
[4] Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy; Rediscovering Our Hidden Life in God. (New York, HarperSanFrancisco, 1997), 282-283.
About the Author
Debbie Owen
Deborah C. Owen is an experienced spiritual director, Neuro-based Enneagram executive and life coach, disciple maker, professional writer, senior librarian, and long-time church Music Director and lay leader. She has earned the award of National Board Certification for teaching excellence, and a podcasting award, and is pursuing a Doctor of Leadership degree through Portland Seminary at George Fox University. She lives in the backwoods of Maine with her husband and flat-coated retriever. She spends as much time as she can with their 3 grown children, daughter-in-law, and 2 small grandchildren. Find her online at InsideOutMinistries.info.8 responses to “Developing Character for Life as a Violin Apprentice”
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Thanks for your thoughtful post Debbie! I appreciate the connection you’ve made (and mention that Poole doesn’t) of learning music and leadership and the connections for you.
As we think about templates and practices for Christian character, what sorts of practices have you found are best for developing Christ-like character?
Ryan, that is a great question. And I say: “it depends.”
As a coach and spiritual director, I usually refer to the Enneagram as one way for my clients and directees to begin to understand themselves. This tool helps us see both our “sweet spots” – the gifts that make life easy for us, that give us joy, and that contribute well to others – and our “blind spots” – our hidden, unconscious motivations that tend to get us into trouble because we over-do something that is intended to be a gift.
When people begin to recognize where they would like to be more like Christ, there are different practices or disciplines that are appropriate for each type of “mask” that may be worn. Some are relatively easy to do, that I call “downstream” practices, and some that are harder to do, “upstream” practices.
For instance, someone who is high in Three energy is typically great at organizing, doing things ahead, taking charge, etc. But they may be far too focused on receiving accolades from others for all the great things they do… and they may too easily name-drop for recognition.
So a downstream practice for this person might be being intentional about delegating tasks to others in a committee so everyone gets to take charge of something; doing this for a month, instead of just doing it themselves. An upstream practice might be doing something in secret that no one else knows about (or you could reverse them, depending on what’s “easy” or “hard”).
We can’t change everything overnight, so I encourage people to identify just one of each to pray and practice. When both become easy, then move on to something else that has been getting in your way.
So identifying your highest Enneagram energy is a great way to start.
(Transparency: I’m a high Three; I know whereof I speak in this example!)
Great post Debbie!
I love the “try and catch the pencil” story. I say “I’ll try” far too often and hope to remember that story every time I say it. You taught me something there!
I also love how you brought the book concepts into your project. Are there any similarities between practicing music and discipleship?
Chris, there are many! When you have a difficult passage, you break it down into small parts. Just play the sixteenths in these two beats over and over. Play them in different rhythms, at different tempi. In discipleship, as you want to become more like Christ identify the “hard measures” and break it down into smaller chunks. Just pray for 10 minutes a day instead of 60, etc.
Work on just the right hand alone (for me, the bow hand) and then work on the left hand. Again, it’s like chunking things down into manageable parts, so you don’t try to do everything all at once. In discipleship, it’s as I just explained in my reply to Ryan: identify one or two things you’ll work on to become more like Christ, not everything all at once.
In music: repeat the same music over and over and over until it becomes part of you, in your mind, your heart, your body. In discipleship: read God’s word over and over and over until it seeps into your mind, heart, and body.
That’s a good start. 🙂
Thanks for your post, Debbie. I appreciate how you tied everything together. I have appreciated Dallas Willard’s writing as well and the way that he frames discipleship as apprenticeship. It has made the idea very accessible to those who didn’t grow up in the church. As we think about reaching those who are outside the church, how might we help people begin to “template” even before they make an actual commitment to Jesus? Do you think that’s possible?
Interesting question Graham. I think we want to template – practice – what is important to us. We have to see the value of spending the time and intention to create such opportunities. So unless someone is at least curious about what it means to follow Jesus and grow to be like him, I’m not sure they’d want to have much to do with it.
Until we can make them curious by living the with-God life, and having it seem compellingly attractive, I think that’s expecting a lot.
That being said, I’m sure there are exceptions to those thoughts! Perhaps people willing to try praying for their meals or before bed. Or willing to show up in a disciple-making small group to hear about the Bible. Again, I think it has to stem from initial curiosity. And a lot of prayer!
Debbie,
I appreciate the way you draw attention to the character piece Poole touches on. You contend that character transformation is the central task of the church. What description or definition of character do you find most helpful and why?
Hi Debbie, thanks for your post and thoughtful closing questions.
I am considering some spiritual disciples for the soul purpose of exercising spiritual muscles. I haven’t decided yet what I’ll do, but I’m considering something daily for 30 days.
How do you see overlap between discipline as a musician and as a follower of Christ?