“Dead man Walking! – Part 2: Soul and Identity Mapping: Thresholds of the Leader’s Inner Life.
Friedman and Walker have not only shaped my leadership thinking but have also touched some of the hidden parts of my inner life. Their insights have revealed where anxiety, defence, and ego still linger beneath the surface of my calling. Friedman revealed how my instinct to fix others’ discomfort often masks my own reactivity. Walker, meanwhile, exposed how easy it can be to slip into performing leadership rather than embodying it, managing the front stage while neglecting the backstage (Walker 2010, 45). These recognitions are liberating in the discipleship settings I hold; they are thresholds of the soul, moments of deep unlearning.
One such moment emerged during a recent leadership challenge in our church. Facing criticism about the pace of growth and expansion, my first impulse was to justify and persuade. Friedman would refer to this as being “caught in the emotional triangle” (2007, p. 217). Instead, differentiation meant resisting the urge to fix others’ anxiety and remaining clear on purpose while staying relationally connected. Walker’s undefended model gave language to the grace required in that moment, and I could receive critique without absorbing it into my identity. The experience became a crucible where courage and surrender met.
Looking back, I realise how differently I would now respond. Self-differentiation and undefended leadership together form a twofold discipline: standing firm without closing off and staying open without losing clarity. Friedman would guide me to maintain focus and calm amid anxious projections, while Walker would call me to rest my identity in abiding in Jesus, not in performance. These frameworks, applied together, invite leaders to act from centred conviction rather than reactive emotion.
Specific insights from both writers have functioned as irreversible crossings, thresholds that permanently altered my self-understanding. One is that anxiety is not an indicator of failure but an invitation to growth. Another is that undefendedness is the most authentic expression of faith, where trust replaces control. These are not merely cognitive shifts; they are spiritual transformations in how I perceive myself and others.
My leadership identity has evolved across three dimensions. Intellectually, theology and psychology now stand in harmony, not tension. Emotionally, I recognise that my reactions are signals, not verdicts. Spiritually, I have learned that peace is not the absence of anxiety but Christ’s presence within it. As Kegan describes, this transition involves moving from a “socialised mind” to a “self-authoring mind,” where identity becomes internally grounded (Kegan 1994, 313).
New thresholds are still forming. I sense a call toward relinquishment, leading less from control and more from abiding. In ministry contexts where visibility is constant and outcomes are measurable, the temptation to defend remains strong. However, Walker reminds me that the undefended leader is “free to serve because they have nothing to prove” (Walker 2010, 27). That freedom is the next frontier of my growth.
Recently, during a Zoom call with my life coach, I spent 45 minutes venting about a particular area of my life—people’s expectations, the pressure of leadership, and everything in between. When I finally paused, he simply asked, “So what’s your problem?” I was stunned. “Haven’t you been listening?” I replied. “I have,” he said, “but what’s your problem? Glyn, remember this: you’re a dead man walking. The moment you were saved, you died to self and came alive in Christ. You’re a dead man walking.” That one phrase hit me like a revelation, a threshold concept that brought Friedman, Walker, and Sayers into sharp focus. In a single moment, the ideas of self-differentiation and ego became clear, grounded, and unmistakably real.
Integrating these dimensions, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual, has reshaped my vocation. Leadership is now less about managing outcomes and more about stewarding presence. It is a participation in Christ’s kenotic pattern of humility and power: “who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped” (Philippians 2:6). The undefended and differentiated leader mirrors this self-emptying love, embodying courage without defence and conviction without coercion.
In this season, I have come to realise that the essence of leadership is not found in mastery, but in maturity. These integrated insights form a theology of presence that calls leaders to live from wholeness rather than from image. To lead faithfully, I must remain rooted in identity, resilient in grace, and undefended in love, a presence through whom others can glimpse the peace of God in anxious times.
References
Friedman, Edwin H. A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix. New York: Seabury, 2007.
Greenleaf, Robert K. Servant Leadership: A Journey into the Nature of Legitimate Power and Greatness. New York: Paulist Press, 2002.
Heifetz, Ronald A., and Marty Linsky. Leadership on the Line: Staying Alive through the Dangers of Leading. Boston: Harvard Business Review Press, 2002.
Kegan, Robert. In Over Our Heads: The Mental Demands of Modern Life. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1994.
Nouwen, Henri J. M. The Genesee Diary: Report from a Trappist Monastery. New York: Doubleday, 1979.
———. “Silence and Solitude.” Henri Nouwen Society. Accessed November 11, 2025. https://henrinouwen.org/meditations/silence-and-solitude/.
Palmer, Parker J. The Courage to Teach: Exploring the Inner Landscape of a Teacher’s Life. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1998.
Walker, Simon P. The Undefended Leader Trilogy. Carlisle, UK: Piquant Editions, 2007–2010.
About the Author
Glyn Barrett
I am the founding & lead Pastor of !Audacious Church in Manchester, England. I was born in Manchester, but moved to Australia at the age of two. My wife and I were married in Australia and began married and ministry life in England 29 years ago. After serving as youth pastors for 12 years, we moved to Manchester to pioneer !Audacious Church. As a church we now have 7 locations. 3 in Manchester, Chester, Cardiff (Wales), Sheffield, and Geneva (Switzerland). In 2019 I became the National Leader of Assemblies of God in Great Britain. We have over 650 churches in our movement and have planted 98 new churches since May 2022 with a goal of planting 400 new churches between May 2022 and May 2028. I am the Global Chair for Church planting for Assemblies of God which currently has 420,000 churches and also chair Empowered21 Europe. I'm happily married to Sophia, with two children, one dog and two motorbikes. I love Golf, coffee and spending time with friends. I love to laugh, make friends and create memories!14 responses to ““Dead man Walking! – Part 2: Soul and Identity Mapping: Thresholds of the Leader’s Inner Life.”
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Hi Glyn,
As always, I enjoyed reading your post. This will be my last question for you. What has been the most impactful piece of these two books for you?
The most impactful insight has been Friedman’s non-anxious presence—and especially how Mark Sayers expands it. Sayers shows that in an age of “accelerated anxiety,” the greatest gift a leader brings is a calm, grounded presence that resists the cultural pull toward outrage, urgency, and fragility. That reframed everything for me. It’s not about fixing people or absorbing pressure but embodying stability rooted in Jesus. Leading from presence, not panic, has become the defining threshold that continues to reshape my identity and leadership.
Mate,
Wow! Can you believe you finally wrote your last blog? Just one more class for me to set a reminder for you and pass along my notes to you. Okay, maybe not the notes but it has been a pleasure being your secretary for a couple of years now and reminding you of all the deadlines and classes.
For reals… you have grown me and stretched me. You have a joy for the gospel that shines from you. The way you navigate so many jobs and responsibilities still amazes me. You have been put into a strategic role and are safekeeping it well. I entered into this program to learn from leaders like you. Seriously.
I am blessed to call you my friend–and any other sarcastic phrase I might choose to use.
Maaaaaate it’s been such a joy to walk with you over the programme. I’ve learnt so much from you also. Thanks for your friendship, secretarial skills and wisdom. Appreciate you pal
Glyn, Just wanted to let you know of a mistake in a word in your 5th paragraph–thought you might want to “recognize” it was spelled wrong 😉 I have loved having you in our peer group. It’s been nice not being the only one waking up to 137 messages in the peer group, wondering who died, only to realize Adam was just bored and playing with AI. Seriously, your humility and zeal for God have been an honor to watch and learn from. You are the most famous person I know, and I am proud to have walked alongside you on this journey. I look forward to seeing how God continues to use you, Sophia, and your giftings for His glory!
Kari, thank you so much for both catching the typo and for the kindness behind the wink (oh no American spelling is rubbing off one me 🤣).
And yes, those 137 notifications moments are very real 😄. Your generosity of spirit, insight, and faith have been a gift in this journey. Walking alongside you in this peer group has been an honour. I’m deeply grateful for the shared learning, laughter, and encouragement, and I’m thankful for the way you see and celebrate God’s work in others.
I am still in awe of your pursuit of your God given calling. What you do for the Lord shines so so bright. Be encouraged. Stay courageous. See you in Portland.
Thank you brother, for your honesty and insights. The Abandoning of Outcomes and Release of Control is so critical in leadership as we mature. You are modeling this well, and your church and leaders will be blessed because of it. Grateful for you and the journey we’ve been on together.
Thanks Ryan. I’ve enjoyed learning from you over the doctoral programme. Nearly there mate.
Glyn, it’s been a great journey. I’ve learned a lot from your blogs, insights, and leadership presence in our peer group. I’ve enjoyed the constant teasing, sarcasm, and laughter. Most of all, your love for Jesus and for the church is compelling and contagious.
I appreciated your vulnerability in this blog post. It makes you an even better leader in my opinion. What can you do to ensure that you keep leaning into threshold concepts that help you become more vulnerable and self-differentiated as you grow?
Thanks, mate.
Graham, thanks mate, very kind words, and the peer sarcasm alone has been formative for us all 😂. It’s been so so so good to have you in the peer group. God knew we needed each other and I’m so glad he gave us you mate.
To keep leaning into these thresholds, I need to stay intentionally slow to react and quick to return to practices that expose my inner life: silence, trusted peer relationships, and leaders who can name when I’m drifting into performance or control. Most importantly, I need to keep rooting my leadership identity in abiding with Jesus, not outcomes. Vulnerability and self-differentiation only deepen when presence, not pressure, becomes the anchor.
Hi Glyn,
Thank you for the reminder that the instinct to fix others can mask one’s own anxiety. I have enjoyed your intellect, insight and humor throughout our time in the DLGP. I am following your work with interest. You will always occupy a unique position in my memory as the only witness to that time “I lost my earring while kissing a Welshman.”
Julie
Julie, thank you, this made me laugh out loud and reflect in equal measure. That insight about fixing masking anxiety continues to work on me too, so I’m grateful you named it. I’ve deeply valued your intellect, warmth, and sharp insight throughout the DLGP journey. And yes, that moment with the elderly Welsh singer from that Male voice choir is forever etched in history 😉, a truly iconic contribution to the cohort journey for sure . It’s been an honour to learn alongside you, and I’m grateful our paths crossed in such a meaningful way. See you in Portland.
Hey Glyn,
Thank you for sharing this. I appreciated your honesty about the instinct to step in and fix things when the people around you get anxious — that dynamic is familiar to many of us. And the story you shared from your church stood out. Choosing not to justify yourself and staying present in the middle of criticism reflects a level of differentiation I really respect.
Your reflections on Friedman and Walker were helpful, especially the way you pointed out how easy it is to slip into performing leadership instead of actually living it. Connecting that to real situations made the ideas very clear.
And this line really caught my attention:
“Leadership is now less about managing outcomes and more about stewarding presence.”
That line hit me in a meaningful way — it says so much about what undefended leadership actually looks like.
I’m grateful for your voice in this cohort and for the steady encouragement you’ve offered along the way.
Elysse, thank you for such a generous and thoughtful response. I really appreciate how you engaged the ideas and how you named what resonated for you. That tension between fixing anxiety and stewarding presence continues to shape me, especially in real leadership moments. Your encouragement and steady, perceptive voice in this cohort have meant a great deal to me. I’m grateful for the way you see leadership clearly and speak with both insight and grace.
Nearly there! See you in Portland.