Dark Sides and Better Angels
I was driving in my car this week when a country song came on the radio. It’s a song called “Most People Are Good” by Luke Bryan, and I have to admit, it’s pretty catchy. Some of the lyrics say:
I believe most people are good and most Mama’s oughta qualify for sainthood.
I believe most Friday nights look better under neon or stadium lights
I believe you love who you love, ain’t nothing you should ever be ashamed of
I believe this world ain’t half as bad as it looks
I believe most people are good
In a lot of ways, this is a song that celebrates the “better angels” of our nature, and the hope that, left to our own devices (and away from our technological devices), we would all probably revert to a better version of ourselves.
In their book Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership: The Paradox of Personal Dysfunction, Gary L McIntosh and Samuel D. Rima, Sr. make a different argument. They write that, “every leader suffers from some degree of personal dysfunction… many leaders are not aware of the dark side of their personalities… the personal characteristics that drive individuals to succeed and lead often have a shadow side that can cripple them once they become leaders…”[1]
Unlike the sunnier side of basic human goodness as attested to in that country song, these authors are lifting up what they call “the dark side” of the good that people seek to do and be. The presence of this dark side of our lives, according to the book “is actually a natural result of human development. It is the inner urges, compulsions, and dysfunctions of our personality that often go unexamined or remain unknown to us until we experience an emotional explosion.”[2] This dark side is something that the authors claim is “particularly common among religious leaders”[3] although it is present in some form in everybody.
In a theological sense, this book is not making a new claim. This sounds familiar to anyone who has read the Bible closely. It seems similar to “the old self” or the “flesh” that is referenced in Ephesians 4:22, Romans 6:6, and Colossians 3:9. Indeed, the call to confession that is given in churches each week around the world will often say, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.”[4]
But the paradox that this book is trying to explore, is not that people in general, or even Christians in particular, would struggle with the reality of sin in their lives. This is a book that focuses on the specific reality that it is leaders, especially religious or spiritual leaders, who not only have a dark side to their leadership, but often do not know it. And so, because of this “unexamined life”, the effects of the “dark side” are more powerful and more destructive when they finally come out.
There is a famous quote that is often attributed to the educational reformer John Dewey, which says, “We do not learn from experience… we learn from reflecting on experience.”[5] It is this idea of reflecting on experience, or examining our lives, or coming to know ourselves more truly, that the authors are advocating in this book.
Although they spend much of the book sharing well-known examples of the high profile falls from grace, along with numerous biblical examples, this isn’t the strength of the book. Frankly, this material comes across as fairly dated (which makes sense since the book was published over 20 years ago). My own reaction to the basic trajectory of the book is that it is disappointing. The book takes a powerful and important idea, the “dark side of leadership”, and merely skims the surface in how it analyzes this reality.
The best takeaway from the book is not the mere fact of a “dark side” that is inside of us, nor the observation that spiritual leaders, in particular, seem to have one too. The most helpful part of the book is the renewed call to leaders (and everybody) to spend time in critical reflection on their own lives, background and struggles. While most religious leaders have an understanding of the reality of sin in the world and within people, without an intentional practice within oneself, it can be easy to externalize that, and miss the signs of trouble.
This is reminiscent of the 4th Step in 12 Step recovery programs, which has to do with making “a searching and fearless moral inventory”[6], and this is the kind of reflection that the authors of this book have in mind. They even include “diagnostic” tests within the book as a tool toward self-awareness.
For many leaders, these kinds of questions or self-evaluation are not “new”, but are actually old. For many, the “fearless moral inventory” is taken as part of a seminary education or during an ordination process. Especially at the outset of a ministry, leaders have a heightened awareness of who they are and what they are called to do and be. And yet, over time, this slips from the front of the mind into the recesses of memory.
In my own denomination, the Presbyterian Church (USA), the trend toward pastoral burnout and the reality of unexamined “dark sides” led to the creation of a program called Credo. Credo is designed largely for mid-career ministry leaders, as a chance to be re-oriented in all aspects of life. In a sense of identity, of calling, of health, and also to examine the parts of oneself that would keep us from living fully. One of the outcomes of the Credo program is that people take time to become more self aware, especially of the “dark side”, and also they walk away with a set of practices to help guide them in a renewed season of ministry.
In the end, Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership is not the most profound book to read, nor the most insightful into the challenge that it describes. However, it is the kind of book that makes you lean in as you read. There is something here that rings familiar and true. There is something here that calls to us and asks us to examine our lives.
While most of the time, we live as if “most people are good”, and yet, if we are wise, we will also make time to get to know the dark side of ourselves. In doing so, we actually have the chance to return to the goodness that God intends.
[1] Gary L. McIntosh and Samuel D. Rima, Sr., Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership: The Paradox of Personal Dysfunction (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1997), 12-13.
[2] Gary L. McIntosh and Samuel D. Rima, Sr., Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership: The Paradox of Personal Dysfunction (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1997), 22.
[3] Gary L. McIntosh and Samuel D. Rima, Sr., Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership: The Paradox of Personal Dysfunction (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1997), 23.
[4] 1 Jn 1:8 (NRSV).
[5] “Good Reads,”, https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/664197-we-do-not-learn-from-experience-we-learn-from-reflecting (accessed March 1, 2018).
[6] “Alcoholics Anonymous,”, https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/about-aa/the-12-steps-of-aa (accessed March 1, 2018).
About the Author
Dave Watermulder
8 responses to “Dark Sides and Better Angels”
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Dave, This is a great post, one of your best, maybe. You fairly articulated the unique contribution that this book brings and offers in conversations with other books on the same shelf, and you also offered a fair and honest critique of the book’s weaknesses. I found myself agreeing all the way through, listening to echos of Cavin, Augustine, and even Socrates. Thanks for drawing out the main points and the good reminder of the need for continual self-reflection and examination. Very timely in this season of Lent…
Thanks, Chris!
Hi Dave,
Very insightful writing, and yours made me ponder the depravity of men. Obviously, we were born with a sinful nature, but do you feel we were born depraved? It is an interesting conversation to have. Maybe it is the same thing.
Keep on writing well my Brother!
Thanks, Jay… yea, I guess I would say that we’re created and made good and “very good” by God. But there is a kind of inevitability to our imperfection as humans, the sin that we stumble into along the way and how it can grow in us or shape us, if we don’t see it clearly and grow, develop, mature… Justified in a moment, and sanctified over a lifetime, right? 🙂
Hear, hear! I agree with you, Dave, that this wasn’t the most profound book in our reading list. I was disappointed by the uncreative and overused examples used of dark side leader blowups that are common fodder (most of them were US presidents).
The focus on working through one’s issues is helpful. Rather than using just a checklist in a book (which is done in isolation with no accountability), I would encourage spiritual leaders to hire a therapist and regularly check in. Alternatively, a wise spiritual director can assist in unveiling our dark realities. I have practiced both of these and am deeply grateful for their help in revealing my blind spots and pushing me forward towards a more integrated leadership.
Thanks, Mark– I agree with you that a Spiritual Director can be a great resource and ally. I have been working with one for the past 3 years or so, since I went through a program called “Soul Care”, which was like a spiritual re-awakening for me, after a decade or so of full-time ministry. Trying to keep walking the right way, but it’s tough– so glad to be with you guys for the journey!
Your post definitely resonated and lined up with my post this week Dave! This line was right on target with what I said about the need for us the examine ourselves to see if we have stuff to process…“We do not learn from experience… we learn from reflecting on experience.”It is this idea of reflecting on experience, or examining our lives, or coming to know ourselves more truly, that the authors are advocating in this book.” In my opinion, the practice of self-reflection is not readily happening with leaders and therefore more and more leaders are being overcome by te dark side.
Totally, Jake… So, you are a counselor, “in the biz” if you will. I would think that clients who come to you have a lot of opportunity to talk through and reflect on their lives. Do you have a practice for that of your own? Meaning: when or where does the professional get to do that self-reflective work? Always a challenge for me, since I feel like I’m always “on” with people, and rare to be in a setting for real sharing…