Building Strength
“If you can do something beautifully in miniature, it convinces both you and your masters that you are ready for bigger things.”[1] (85)
I’ve been involved in athletics most of my life. In my youth I played soccer and swam on the swim team. In high school and college I ran cross country, began working out with weights, and kept up my competitive swimming. As an adult I’ve added in some cycling, yoga, and hiking while mostly leaving my running days in the dust.
What has surprised me is the enjoyment I find in lifting weights and not just ten pounders. I enjoy pushing myself with heavy weights, squatting until my legs are shaking, pressing until my shoulders shout at me to stop.
Besides the rush of endorphins I enjoy exercising with weights because over time I can feel myself getting stronger. This strength translates into greater functional fitness such as carrying several bags of groceries into the house at one time, swinging my nephews over my shoulders and carrying them on my back, even wrestling with my teenage sons, though I am quick to surrender to them. When I set up for a heavy lift don’t jump right to the greatest amount of weight. Instead, I work my way up, adding plates to the bar with each set. I take my time, make sure my form is correct, and breathe deeply. When I finally lift an amount I haven’t been able to before I experience a sense of elation. I did it! I moved that weight! I didn’t think I could do it but I did!
For me, weight lifting is practice for leadership but really, any sport have the same effect.
I’ve heard others describe yoga in this way. Recently I took my daughter rock climbing. With each climb both she and I got braver and smarter and able to climb higher and higher. The next day at the park I noticed my daughter climbing to the top of the jungle gym, a feat she had never attempted before.
When reading the book, “Leadersmithing” by Eve Poole, I couldn’t help but relate what she calls, “templating” to exercising or practicing a sport. Poole describes “templating” as “muscle memory for leadership activities” [2] Poole writes, “Templating furnishes leaders with the muscle memory to make them resourceful, because they are able to problem solve better under pressure. It also makes them resilient because they know they have survived and will do so again. The confidence that comes from this type of felt experience makes leaders cautious yet fearless which is exactly the combination they will need to get out of their own way and make the right calls in real life. “[3]
Now, I know that Poole was talking more about “on the job learning” or what she calls, “Critical Incidents”[4] when she refers to templating but I just kept connecting the line to my experience with sports because both, “on the job learning” and exercise can build “courage, grit, determination, the character traits of leadership when the chips are down.” [5]
While lifting weights is not an exact template for a leadership activity, it does teach my brain and body that I can do hard things. The discipline that fuels a consistent exercise routine and that regular practice builds extends into my life outside of the gym. I find myself less likely to procrastinate on a project, more disciplined in my work routine, willing, even to give more of myself than I might if I wasn’t regularly practicing discipline in the gym. Exercise and practice builds self awareness. When I can feel the strain in my body, my lungs wanting to burst with the rapidity of my breathing, I am practicing noticing and working through uncomfortable sensations in myself. When I step back into my leadership role I am more aware of how a colleague’s comment makes me feel therefore more able to address it appropriately. As my body works through difficult movements my mind must also be focused on how I am moving which frees up other parts of my brain to process emotions, work through problems, and create pathways for new learnings. I can exit the gym or the playing field more centered and better able to make decisions. Participation on a team such as in football or soccer requires me to work with others for the good of the team. Learning to work with others is crucial for a leader who wants to see her team succeed. When I am faced with a new challenge in a sport, this, as Poole writes, “helps (me) to face stress and uncertainty more confidently.” [6]
So many of the lessons I’ve learned about myself and about life have come from my time on the field, in the gym or on the trail. When Pool asked board level leaders what they “wished they had known about themselves ten years ago” as they tried to lead, they all responded, “they wished they had known more about themselves.”[7] I can’t help but wonder if time on the field or in the gym might have sped up this process for them.
In the second part of the book Poole uses the metaphor of a deck of cards to offer us 52 exercises to hone our leadership skills. Picking a card for each week of the year and using the exercise suggested will “refresh your skill sets and keep your learning muscles supple.”[8] Reading through the focus of each card I found that once again, practice of sport or exercise was applicable. I am not going to go through all 52 cards but for the sake of example, Poole uses her first adult skiing lesson as a “most sobering practice in letting-go.”[9] When learning to ski you have to trust your instructor, your skis, your knees, your balance, and the other skiers around you. The more you practice on the slope, the better you are able to apply that skill to your life off the mountain and in the board room.
Okay, so you may be rolling your eyes right now and thinking, “Wow. She was really stretching to relate exercise to this book! Also, isn’t she the woman who torn her knee up in a hotel exercise room in South Africa?” If so, the answer is yes. But a goal of mine that came to light through completing the LCP was that I want to begin using my personal training certification to create a “side hustle,” that can supplement our household income. I’d also like to explore how I can use fitness and personal training in my NPO, creating community and opportunities for health, and even perhaps, leadership, for those living with mental illness.
So, yes, it may have been a stretch to relate the book to sport or fitness but it was a line I kept drawing and connecting over and over again as I read.
Towards the end of the book Poole reflects, “One refrain that came out time and time again from leaders answering our question about what they wished they had known ten years ago was ‘I wish I’d known that I can do it.'”[10] In my experience, exercise and sport, help us to realize our strengths, giving us confidence.
Poole continues, addressing the reader, “Tomorrow, do not be the best leader. Do not even try to be a good one. Just be better.”[11]
I say the same to my fitness clients. You don’t have to be the strongest or the fittest. Just try to be a little bit better each day. Work on that yoga pose. Hold your plank two seconds longer. Squat an inch deeper. Try a push up on your feet instead of on your knees.
You might surprise yourself. You might be able to do it. If not today, then maybe tomorrow.
Whatever happens, you’ll be better for trying.
[1] Poole, Eve, Leadersmithing: Revealing the Trade Secrets of Leadership. London ; New York, NY: Bloomsbury Business, 2017, Accessed February 15, 2023. https://www.scribd.com/book/338727696/Leadersmithing-Revealing-the-Trade-Secrets-of-Leadership. 85
[2] IBID, 25.
[3] IBID, 26.
[4] IBID, 22.
[5] IBID, 73
[6] IBID, 28
[7] IBID, 23.
[8] IBID, 105.
[9] IBID, 117.
[10] IBID, 250.
[11] IBID, 250.
About the Author
Kally Elliott
Mom of four. Wanna-be Broadway star. PC(USA) pastor. Wife. Friend. Sometimes a hot mess. Sometimes somewhat together. Is this supposed to be a professional bio?12 responses to “Building Strength”
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Hi Kally,
Thanks for pointing out this gem from Poole:
“Tomorrow, do not be the best leader. Do not even try to be a good one. Just be better.”
I missed that one….but it’s an important reminder. As I said in my own blog, I am excited to dig into to the leadership books in our reading list, but as I read through Poole’s collection of necessary leadership qualities, I began to feel slightly overwhelmed wondering, “How bad of a present leader am I….and how long will it take for me to ever get good at this?” I was even contemplating ‘best’! But this is a great encouragement….I don’t even have to be good…at least not yet. I can just try and be a bit better–and that seems manageable. On another note: I’m glad you got some clarity on your side-hustle! It appears that the 15 minutes of coaching in our zoom call produced some ‘gold’ for you!
As Anne Lamott says in her book Bird by Bird, ““Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won’t have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren’t even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they’re doing it.” She then says something like a shitty first draft leaders to a great third draft. Her point being, bird by bird or step by step or “Tomorrow, do not be the best leader. Do not even try to be a good one. Just be better.” Just take the next step. It’s good advice for people like us who try to pastor, raise families, and do a doctoral program at the same time.
Kally, great post. Regarding your side hustle, I think that is a fantastic idea, and I think you might be surprised at how many people will contract with you (depending on your business model). My wife, Robin, and I created a “side hustle” several years ago, built on a consultancy I already had, that leveraged Robin’s certification in certain HR-type assessments. One of those is RightPath (https://www.rightpath.com/). We’ve built a client base over the years that pretty much spread word-of-mouth, and I would guess that is how your small business might spread, too, once you have a few clients that can provide testimony to their experience working with you. This summer, IF you aren’t reading any doctoral books, one book that Robin and I like to recommend for solo-preneurs is Paul Jarvis’s book, Company of One. And, just for reference if you create a website, our little side hustle’s simple website is vaughngroup.io. Good luck!
Thank you Travis for your encouragement about my side hustle! I look forward to reading that book, Company of One, and looking through your websites. The thought of adding one more thing to my schedule is intimidating right now but it could be just the thing I need to move me to the next step in my journey.
I’m going to force myself to engage with your blog post out of a sheer desire to diversify myself, as more of an “inside book guy.”
Although, one time I did run to the bathroom.
And, I lift food to my mouth.
I bought a new pair of Doc Martin boots, which are quite heavy, so it feels like I’m lifting weights each step I take!
I jest. Seriously, I like to remain active, primarily through walking, which I find to be a corresponding illustration to Poole, and to what you’ve offered in terms of sports and fitness. I think the bottom line in terms of analogies to the slow process of leader-smithing is that it is just that – a process. One that has nuance, pacing, intentionality, and focus.
All this you so eloquently communicated in your post, and perhaps are learning now first hand, I mean, knee as you rehabilitate – which is undoubtedly will be a process.
The rehab of my knee really is a process! Whew! This week I get to learn how to stand up from sitting and then sit back down on both legs instead of only one. I also made a full rotation on the bike with my surgery-ed leg! Whoo hoo!
But then, everything is a process…life is a process…hopefully we get wiser as we go.
Hi, Kally,
“If you can do something beautifully in miniature, it convinces both you and your masters that you are ready for bigger things.” Your opening quote of the book, sums up the book. The secret sauce of accomplishing anything in life is in the daily little choices that we make.
I am not an athlete or even ever tried to be, though I am an avid walker. However, four years ago, I became very ill and realized that outside of using strong meds, my only option was strength training. So I hired a trainer and began lifting weights. Wow! What an incredible difference it has made in so many areas…less back issues, greater balance, greater confidence, increased energy. However, it didn’t come in a few weeks. I am seeing the effect now after 4 years of consistency. It goes to show that the turtoise does cross the finish line with persistence and time.
I got to thinking about what you said about hiring a trainer to help you learn to use weights in your exercise routines and how it has really helped. Because lifting weights and working out has been part of my life for so long it has kind of become second nature to me so I often get caught thinking that everybody has this knowledge and drive so why would they need to hire me. And then I remember that I hire music teachers because I need their help to learn to play piano and yet music has probably become second nature to them. I hire a physical therapist to help rehab my knee because she knows more about rehab than I do and has been “in the business” a long time.
I appreciate that you reminded me that being a trainer can really help people get started exercising, continue their fitness journey, and get stronger!
If this was you stretching to relate to this book, I want you to know it hit home and I understand you and what you are saying about body memory. My favorite thing to do is dance, and more specifically hip hop dance. (which isn’t always the most edifying or pure) however I have found is my best form of spiritual practice. I live in my head, and can have a very difficult time really connecting to my feelings…I have deep empathy with others, but maybe not so much with myself. However, getting into my body get’s me out of my head and into a more grounded space which then helps me settle into my heart. I think what you are utilizing in yourself and experience is amazing in relation to this leadership stuff:). I laughed out loud to your hurting yourself in the weight room in South Africa…I am sitting here with a thumb splint I’ve had since a new years skiing accident where of course I ripped my thumb ligaments instead of breaking a bone (I would take a bone injury over tears anyway, and yet I always tear). There is something to be said in the amount of training and neighboring muscle strengthening to help support the tear, and in the shear length of recovery. It’s in the rebuilding and new muscle toning we hopefully come back stronger! Much like Leadersmithing. Kally, what has being laid up in this time of your learning taught you or given you? Do you see any gifts yet or is it “too soon Jana”?
A few weeks ago, I probably would have said, “TOO SOON JANA!” I swore if one more person said to me, “You’ll come back stronger” I was going to hit them with my crutches. However, I’m heading into week five of six now and am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I have a doctor’s appointment with my orthopedist on Wednesday and am really hoping he looks at it and says “You’re healed!” even though I don’t think that will happen – based on the amount of swelling I still have! BUT I am heading to healed. But yes, I can now see some blessings in learning to sit down instead of constantly be in a state of movement or productivity.
You put into words what I was *trying* to say but just couldn’t find the language – the getting out of my head into my body and then settling into my heart part.. I feel that so much and it is vital to me being able to process things. As an enneagram 6 I am in my head so much of the time!
Also, I am a terrible dancer – like truly awful – BUT I do love hip hop! Trying to convince my daughter to try it out!
I have the perfect dance fitness club called Diva Den that is my absolute community of deep friendship and is church to me. When you visit Portland for your son I have the perfect place for you to join me…all levels welcome.
When I went through Spiritual Direction certification I learned how to utilize the enneagram as a Director. I am a 7 and always in my head so you and I are in the same triad. I learned in this training that the most wholistic way to work through difficult or stuck moments is to move clockwise around the enneagram wheel. So in head triad we can think about the problem then move to the body “gut” triad, then to the heart, then back to the head. I can’t go from thoughts to feelings without getting grounded in my own body! It was transformative for me and helped me realize that hip hop dancing got me out of my head therefore was spiritual practice!! I continue to pray for your recovery, your healing and beyond that your transformation into something different and perhaps stronger (that you can’t force until you go through the paid of healing:), am I right?
Hi Kally!
Thank you for your writing. I like it!
In the process of shaping you to become a leader, in what way is your muscle memory so extraordinary? Does the increasing pressure on your muscle memory increase your leadership skills?