Are Leaders Born or Made?
Created in Canva by Nancy Blackman
I would never have connected the dots between leadership and blacksmithing so it’s fascinating how Dr. Eve Poole did that in her book, Leadersmithing. After watching her TEDx talk, I appreciated her metaphor of “pearls” and “peril,” both offering a sense of grit. The pearl is created through peril when the oyster thinks it’s going to be invaded by an irritant (which it is) and then proceeds to cover itself for protection.[1]
Being someone who appreciates visuals, I very much liked Poole’s use of the Resistance Wheel when faced with their own fear. [2] I grew up facing a lot of change, which is one way that Poole connects fear and resistance, but it didn’t stop in my childhood. I would safely say that most of my life has been one cesspool of continual change, which is why we say in our house, “there is never a dull moment!”
What I have learned in the last few years is that I didn’t realize how much grief was attached to my fear of change. When I have introduced the catalyst of change, it doesn’t remove the fear, but I notice a bit less stress. When the change has been induced by life situations, then there is a level of grief, and, over time, I have not dealt with the grief and my physical body finally gave out. It took me several sessions of therapy and Spiritual Direction to uncover this.
Returning to the Resistance Wheel, Poole points to three variables where there is deficiency or lack:
- Understanding: As a leader, when you are feeling misunderstood, it might be because people don’t see things the way you do.
- Skills: When there is no training, there is a skills gap and people will react in ways that are considered as “distracting behaviour.”[3]
- Motivation: Often, there can be a lack of motivation when there is no passion. People are better motivated when they enjoy what they are doing.
In connection to my personal grief and continual change, I would have to say that perhaps the lack of understanding came from not understanding myself and what I needed, nor did I have the tools and skills to navigate some of those changes. Therefore, there was a severe lack of motivation, which caused me to fall into a state of depression.
And all of this points to a baseline of fear. Crazy, right? I love, love, love how Poole says in the video that “the one thing you have to remember is that there are some things that are more important than fear.”[4] I interpreted that as remembering who I am and how God made me.
As someone who is hoping to create a safe, inclusive, and welcoming community for creatives, I realize, though I consider myself more as the talent, I can’t just let that be the answer and walk away because people in the community need someone to look toward. Often that person is the founder. This is where my brain says, “What are you getting me into?!”
In the video, Poole shares a story about 20/20 hindsight that involves a man wandering in the woods who meets a wizard. The overarching question that comes from the meeting is, as a well-traveled leader, what would you want to know or do differently now that you know what you know?
That forces me to look at who I am. Where is the beauty within the grit? Poole says that when you know what is to be expected then you won’t fear it. Here is where I would give some pushback. As someone who puts her faith in a God who doesn’t tell me what to expect I must rely on a level of trust. That means there will be a level of fear on my part, right?
From my experience, my leadership and life skills often kick into gear when the sh*t hits the fan, but if I want to be a transformational leader, how do I move from imposter syndrome to a leader who leads with some level of confidence and compassion? Is anyone else asking themselves this question?
When Poole gets to the point in her TEDx talk where she mentions the brain and the amygdala, I sat up in my seat because my therapist has been chatting with me about how I can move through my PTSD responses, which, if I think about it, also affect my leadersmithing. At the core, the PTSD has deeply affected my mental well-being. “In addition to its role in fear acquisition and extinction, the amygdala plays an essential role in fear generalization, arousal and processing of rewards, all of which may be disrupted in PTSD.”[5]
That ties into leadership development and the role of neurobiology. If my brain operates a certain way because of past experiences, then I need to learn how to be the leader I am called to be given my neurobiological requirements. It is not healthy to stay in a heightened stress state, “but it is where your brain is at its keenest. And now we know that if you can spot where you are under-resourced, you can keep extending this high-performing space, by systematically resourcing yourself to cope.”[6]
This slow-ramping approach, or, as one of my friends likes to say, “letting things occur organically,” does seem countercultural to my PTSD survivor response, but, as I have been “slowly” practicing, has helped me tremendously.
What about you. What helps you serve the community more effectively rather than the work?
[1] Eve Poole, “Leadersmithing,” April 12, 2017, produced by TEDx Durham University, YouTube video, 18:00, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73L1613KDnw.
[2] ———, Leadersmithing: Revealing the Trade Secrets of Leadership (London: Bloomsbury, 2017), 111.
[3] Ibid.
[4] ———, “Leadersmithing” YouTube video.
[5] Olga Therese Ousdal, Anne Marita Milde, Gertrud Sofie Hafstad, Erlend Hodneland, et al., “The Association of PTSD Symptom Severity With Amygdala Nuclei Volumes in Traumatized Youths,” Transitional Psychiatry 10, no. 288 (August 17, 2020), https://doi.org/10.1038/s41398-020-00974-4.
[6] Eve Poole, Leadersmithing, 48.
About the Author
Nancy Blackman
11 responses to “Are Leaders Born or Made?”
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Hi Nancy!
I appreciate your transparency about the challenges you have faced during your lifetime. Which of God’s promises have helped you the most during all of the changes you have faced?
Hi Kari,
First of all, I wasn’t raised in a Christian home and didn’t become a publicly professed Christian until my mid-40s. So, it’s taken awhile to sit with God’s promises. In my early 40s, as I was searching, I leaned into my familial faith roots of Buddhism and found some peace. After 9/11 is when the Holy Spirit surrounded me with some pesky Christians 😜 and I became curious about Christianity.
Your question reminds me of a time when I was a brand new Christian, struggling to make ends meet when I held a leadership position at my local American Red Cross. One morning while reading the Bible and praying, I stood up quickly and almost shouted upward, “You tell me I don’t have to worry about food, so I’m putting that on You!” And God answered me that day with someone who, out of the blue, came to my desk and said, “there’s lunch in the kitchen for everyone.” That scenario occurred monthly when I was hitting the end-of-the-month low bank balance.
When it comes to the bigger changes (not that having provisions is not a big problem when you don’t have it) God seems to point me to 2 scriptures: Joshua 1:9 and Proverbs 3:5-6. Both of those, for me, speak to a level of trusting the unknown and the uncertainty.
Thanks for the question!
Hi Nancy, Thanks for sharing your insights and experiences. It seems like you may have landed on something important for your NPO in this book. My question then is, is it possible to be the talent and the leader?
Thanks Diane,
I’m pondering that exact question! Ask me in 5 years how I’m navigating that. LOL
Nancy! You never cease to amaze me because I feel like your book is being written with new chapters happening right before our eyes. Thank you for sharing your vulnerabilities which we all can relate to. Looking at the resistance wheel of motivation, where do you line up?
Daren,
You are way too kind, my friend.
Great question. When I went back to re-read the section on Motivation, I would say that is where I line up. Not because I’m unmotivated, but because for the longest time I wasn’t allowed to honor the concept of “do what you’re passionate about.”
My last creative community, which I will be re-birthing, was on Medium and I love that group of writers. I also love helping them become better writers and it is a great place for me to nurture the Spiritual Director within me as I guide people inward with the tool of writing.
As you know, being the “leader” comes with a host of responsibilities and I wear that tag seriously, which comes from my honor/shame background. I am currently working toward dismantling that, one shame at a time.
What about you? Where do you line up on the resistance wheel?
Nancy,
I need help with the understanding piece. I get frustrated and at times easily, when people don’t understand what I’m trying to communicate. I need to slow down and process what is really going on. I’m not sure trust in God necessitates fear, but it at times seems to be a natural response, which makes ME ask MYSELF how much trust do I really have in God if I’m anxious? You are asking yourself some great questions as you process what you are reading and learning. Thus far, what has been the greatest threshold concept you have one across as you fight your imposter syndrome?
Hi Jeff,
Ugh. You would have to ask me THAT question. 😜
Until a year ago I didn’t even know what imposter syndrome was, but as I have navigated my inner journey, I realize that one way I can fight it is to show up and be me. I don’t have to have all the answers, I just need to be authentically me—warts and all. If you haven’t figured it out already, I’m socially awkward. Growing up, I wasn’t allowed to just show up and be me.
Where I have had great freedom in this process is when God told me to write on Medium for a year. I always think God is crazy when I’m asked to do something because the imposter syndrome shows up like the devilish whimsy it is. Within that 12 months, I didn’t just show up, I showed up every day and I was surrounded by a community of like-minded people who didn’t judge me. In fact, they kept coming back and pretty soon, I had a following of readers that keep wanting more. So, I relaxed and leaned into who God created me to be as the writer, and I found rest in my soul.
Now, when I am asked to join something or do something, I have a question that I ask myself—will this give meaning and value to my life and be life giving? If the answer is no, then it’s obvious. If it’s yes and I’m struggling, I have a chat with God, but if it’s something I have dreamed about for years, I shout Hallelujah because God is answering a prayer.
Thanks for helping me process that.
Hi Nancy – thank you for sharing. I am sorry that you have suffered from PTSD – I am praying for you now and for the Lord to to give freedom from it.
When you are leading others, how do you help them through fear? Is this different than what helps you through fear?
Thank you Christy. That is very kind of you.
Great question. I often find myself asking my coachees and directees, “what are you afraid of?” I think that comes from the fact that I can spot fear in another person a mile away because I have an intimate relationship with it.
I think the only way to overcome fear is to acknowledge it, welcome it, and show it the door. This process can take 5 minutes or many years depending on the person and their readiness.
The first step, though, is acknowledging it out loud. Once we put our sins and fears into the Light, there is no more darkness. That step alone can be powerful for many, including myself.
Nancy, I am pondering the question you asked at the end of your post. Oftentimes, much of my life can seem like work. Recently, I have been trying to find things I truly enjoy (things besides YouTube). I find even informal interactions with like-minded expats can seem like work in my overseas context because of the constant turnover. Sometimes life feels like one big introduction over and over and over again. However, I really resonated with your thoughts on letting things happen “organically.” This mindset has helped me immensely in Africa. I would say I feel most effective in interactions with locals when I am able to have meaning conversations with them in another language. This has both helped grow my communication skills and creativity in using more limited vocabulary. It allows me to enter a new world, and I can better know the values of another culture. So, I suppose I feel most effective when I have meaningful relationships with those I serve.
What are some simulations you have purposefully allowed yourself to enter to work through PTSD responses and build new templates? This is really difficult stuff to navigate and I really commend you on your transparency and desire to grow. You’ve got grit!