Am I A Hero?
What is a hero? In his book, The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell writes, “The hero, therefore, is the man or woman who has been able to battle past his personal and local historical limitations to the generally valid, normally human forms.”[1] The hero is one who faces challenges and transforms in the trials.
When my daughter was in middle school, she participated in a “Superheroes” dress up day at school. Unexpectedly, she chose to dress up as me. As I am writing this blogpost, my husband just made the comment, “You really are my hero.” He has no idea what I am writing about right now. He has been out of town for work and was expressing gratitude for the way I take care of our home. He called me heroic for going grocery shopping. I am not sure that story would make a blockbuster hit movie or that I often feel heroic. I have not delivered the One Ring to the fires of Mordor like Frodo. I have not saved the world like the Avengers.
Yet when I look back on my life, on the trials I have endured, maybe there is something of the hero in an ordinary human life. In his TEDEd video about Campbell’s book, Matthew Winkler says, “What do you have in common with Harry Potter, Katniss Everdeen, and Frodo? Well, you’re human just like them… You leave your comfort zone, have an experience that transforms you, and then you recover and do it again. You don’t literally slay dragons or fight Voldemort, but you face problems just as scary.”[2] What I have I faced that might fill this requirement? What is it that might cause my daughter or my husband to call me a hero? Winkler relates the hero’s journey as a cycle from the Call to Adventure through to the Resolution. Each stage represents a part of the hero’s journey.
I faced this cycle in 2005 when I had brain surgery for a rare neurological condition. I was diagnosed with Intracranial Hypertension (Call to Adventure, Departure) after a routine eye exam revealed papilledema of the optic nerve. When medication did not help my condition, my neurologist referred me to a neurosurgeon (Assistance, Trials). I met with a neurosurgeon to determine my options. (Approach). I had my first surgery, to have a lumboperitoneal shunt (LP Shunt) placed. A month later, I was back in the hospital with a raging staph infection. Instead of the LP Shunt, my neurosurgeon suggested a ventriculoperitoneal shunt – brain surgery – to avoid another life-threatening infection. This was exactly what I wanted to avoid, but my choices were limited. (Crisis) God gave me the peace I needed to face brain surgery and this surgery was a success. (Treasure / Result) I recovered from my surgery and returned home to get back to the task of raising my children who were five and three at the time. (Return) While my shunt regulated my intracranial pressure, it did not eliminate the migraines. I was no longer a young, healthy mother. I was a disabled mother. (New Life). I made the decision to not let my disability limit me. Despite chronic migraines and not knowing if or when my shunt would fail and I would again face brain surgery, I stayed active and involved in my children’s lives and went to graduate school to earn my Master of Divinity. (Resolution) Life is full of ups and downs, good days and bad days, but I lean on the words of Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (Status Quo) [3]
I think this is the challenge I have faced and continue to face that makes my daughter and my husband call me their hero. It is not just being a mother or going to the grocery store. It is doing those things and facing every day despite what I have endured, what I continue to endure. It is choosing to live my life, to get out of bed in the morning. Campbell writes, “The agony of breaking through personal limitations is the agony of spiritual growth.”[4] Every day that I chose to battle my personal limitations I am the hero that my husband and daughter see in me. We all face our own struggles in life and we are all heroes when we choose to face our challenges and rise above them.
[1] Joseph Campbell, The Hero with a Thousand Faces (Novato, CA, New World Library, 2008), pg. 14
[2] “What Makes A Hero? – Matthew Winkler,” TEDEd, https://ed.ted.com/lessons/what-makes-a-hero-matthew-winkler, 3:14
[3] Winkler, 1:01
[4] Campbell, pg. 163
About the Author
Becca Hald
Becca is an ordained Foursquare minister, serving as the Online Community Pastor at Shepherd's House Church. She has over twenty-five years of leadership experience both inside and outside the church. Becca has served her community in many capacities ranging from Administrative Assistant and Children’s Ministry Director to Secretary and President of multiple school organizations. She and her husband, Andrew have been married for over 25 years. They have two adult children, Drew and Evelyn. Her great passion is to equip others, to raise awareness about mental health, and to help reduce the negative stigma surrounding mental health issues. In her free time, she loves going to Disneyland, reading, sewing, and making cards.19 responses to “Am I A Hero?”
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Becca, I am deeply inspired by your story. I had no idea you went through this trial. It is no wonder your husband and your daughter see you as their hero. When it came to the existential and perhaps spiritual suffering that came along with this experience, were their people in your corner who played the role of a guide for you? I know you had guides when it came to your physical well-being, but what about with your faith and mental well-being? Thank you for sharing your story Becca! Showing up to the daily demands despite your past and present sufferings certainly makes you a hero.
Thank you David. Yes, I have had many people who played the role of the guide for me. Most significantly has been my husband. He has been so incredibly supportive and encouraging along my journey. I cannot imagine doing life without him. I have had friends who stood by me, prayed for me, brought meals, took me to doctor’s appointments when I could not drive, and provided so much more when I was in need. I am deeply grateful to the people in my life who have walked this road with me and loved me through it all.
That is an impeccable Becca costume. Before I even read your post I thought to myself “did Becca post a picture of herself when she was a kid?”
I appreciate you, your openness in sharing your story, your care for others in the midst of your own life happenings, and most of all for the ways you recognize the hero in others (quite literally when you gave Dr. Hamilton a Captain A lanyard and namecard) I look forward to continuing to support one another as a peer group in the various adventures and journeys we embark on!
Thank you Caleb. Yes, my daughter is my mini-me. Thank you for your encouragement. I, too, look forward to continuing this journey together.
I think that my struggles and trials have helped shape the way I see others and provide the lens with which I view others. I know that we all have our own challenges. I have learned what is easy for one person may be a struggle for someone else and vice versa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Thank you for sharing your medical journey with us! I’m in awe of how all this took place when your children were 3 and 5! What a ride!
I believe you had some headaches in Cape Town and now I am understanding more due to your medical back ground. I am glad to know how to pray for you. I am going to ask that the Lord keeps those migraines marching away!
Thank you for this quote:
Campbell writes, “The agony of breaking through personal limitations is the agony of spiritual growth.
You have broken through personal limitations, you have faced agony and come to know Jesus as a Provider and Healer. In light of this, I am curious how God has given you the opportunity to help others who have been in a similar medical crisis?
I believe you are a hero! I am happy that you are in my cohort! You have influenced my life in small yet meaningful ways! I will never forget how you gave me your breakfast leaving SFO as we embarked on our first leg of our journey to Cape Town! I had a friend at the start of a long trip; God placed us on the same plane! 🙂
Kristy, thank you for your encouragement. I am glad to know you and I was so thankful to have a friend on that first plane ride to Cape Town. I remember when my kids were in elementary school, many people would ask me how I was able to do all that I was doing, especially in light of my medical limitations. For me, the answer was (and is) always Jesus. God is my strength when I am weak. I have said many times I would rather spend every day of my life with a migraine than to spend one instant thinking I can do this life on my own strength. I am able to share this testimony with others. I believe that it is in sharing our stories that we give others permission to share their own, to seek help, to be okay with not being okay. That is why I am so passionate about sharing my mental health journey. Learning to accept my limitations and be okay with them allows others to do the same, but only if I am willing to share my story.
Becca, Thank you for sharing your story in your post! You are definitely a hero. What a gift that your husband and daughter have regularly pointed that out to you. One of the many things I really like about your post is that not only do you track your own story through the Hero’s Journey, but in so doing, you give others permission to do the same and see themselves as a transformed hero.
I’ve been thinking about what the Hero’s Journey has to say to us as leaders. Is there anything that you will do differently as a leader after reading Campbell’s book?
Thanks so much, Becca, for your post. You inspire me!
Thank you Jenny! I appreciate you. I think in light of Campbell’s book, I am learning to see myself as the hero that others have proclaimed me to be. When my daughter dressed up as me, I did not truly see myself as a hero. I felt loved by her action, but did not quite believe it. I am slowly learning to love myself, to see myself as the ordinary human on the hero’s journey, and beginning to believe what others say about me.
Becca, I join your daughter and husband in appreciating you. Thanks for being vulnerable; you are a testimony of the sufficiency of God’s grace. Campbell’s book is an excellent representation of the hero with a thousand faces; I can see your face on those pages.
Thank you Jean. 🥰
Becca,
Thank you for sharing your medical journey with all of us! You have certainly faced many trials others have no clue about. And you are an overcomer! You are a hero in our eyes also. Thank you for your perseverance and your witness, even when things are tough… even when you have terrible migraines. God is a faithful covenant partner, and underneath you are His everlasting arms.
Thank you Tonette! I can say in all honesty that I am grateful for my trials. They have helped to shape me in so many ways.
Becca,
It has been a joy to do this with you. In your post you made the statement “maybe there is something of the hero in an ordinary human life.” I want to say a resounding yes to that. There is a hero in our ordinary life, everyday we yes to someone else out of love, every time we speak up for the voiceless, any time we allow God to show his love through us we are participating in the journey of a hero. Sometimes those acts are can seem small to you (like the lanyards) but speak volumes to the type of hero you are.
Thank you Daron! You are a hero as well, my friend. I think there is something to learn about stepping out and doing those small acts. I made the lanyards and then started second guessing myself. I felt very self conscious at first when I was telling people about them. Stepping out and doing something despite our fears and insecurities is what makes us heroes. And I am already taking requests for lanyards for next year!
I was thinking the same thing, Caleb. I really thought Becca was posting a picture of herself from her childhood. When I read your blog, Becca, I was holding back tears. What an honor and deep respect your daughter has for you. I had no idea you had been through so much. You are a hero! The question mark is unnecessary.
Thank you Michael, 🥰
Becca,
Que, tears.
I am so proud to know you and to know a piece of your story. You have given illustration to the process Campbell’s book outlines. Each part of the journey meaningful and leading to the next. No jumping ahead but learning through each phase in order to be prepared for the next. In our fictional characters we watch their journey as an outsider and know that something next is coming.
As a human being living through each step of the way I know I have at times wished I could skip over the hard parts or have a glimpse of the future… but, then I wouldn’t have the skills or knowledge for the journey… I wouldn’t have the story to share with others in need of encouragement. Your story brings encouragement to those in the midst of similar journeys I hope you do know and believe that you are a HERO.
If you could say something to someone in the midst of a really challenging part of their journey what would be your words of wisdom?
Thank you Sara. I am so grateful to know you and be your friend. I think one of the most important things to learn is when to just sit silently with someone in their suffering. It is not so much about words of wisdom as it is about being present. Or being a listener.
I think about how often I heard, “the years go by so fast” from well-intentioned people when my kids were little. Yes, the years fly by, but the days are so very long when you are home all day with toddlers needing your attention every moment. The nights are so long when you have a baby who will not sleep.
When someone is in a challenging season, I try to refrain from giving them trite answers. I try to be practical. Do not just say, “I am here for you if you need anything.” That is basically a copout. How often is someone actually going to call you? I try and be specific. Here are some examples:
* Offering to send them dinner (or with some people, telling them I am doing it)
* Offering to pick up kids from school or activities
* Coming over and helping with household chores
* Telling them I am going to the grocery store and asking if I can pick anything up for them
* Reminding them that they can text or call me at any time of the day or night, but also letting them know that I will tell them if I am unavailable at that time
* Reaching out to them – calling, texting, sending a card, etc.
I also tell them that they are free to ask me untying and remind them that it is my responsibility to let them know if they are asking too much. I am responsible for my own feelings and actions. If I say yes to help with something and then feel burdened by it, it is not their fault, it is mine for saying yes when I should have said no.
When I have gone through difficult seasons, these were the things that helped me the most – people willing to always be there to listen and people willing to do the practical things. And prayer. Always prayer.
Wow, I am so moved by your story! You are one tough cookie. I grew up with a parent that was medically fragile. In my 14 years under his roof he had 33 surgeries.
As hard as it is on the patient, its also hard on the kids and caretakers. Worry and exhaustion can take over so easy.
In my eyes, your entire family is a hero and you paved the way! Migraines are absolutely horrendous. Proud of you, and the encouragement you give all.
You slayed the dragons sis.