All Systems Overloaded!
I discovered that my approach to completing the assignments this semester needed to change. The volume of reading, even done inspectionally, can easily become overwhelming. I realized in the first few weeks that I needed to make a shift. Making a shift from getting it done by the deadline to creating a meaningful experience that will contribute to my NPO was not happening swiftly. As much as I tried (and still try) I seemed to be working to beat the clock on all my assignments. This week is no different, it’s Thursday afternoon and I am putting the final touches on this blog minutes away from running out the door to my daughter’s softball game. This is not a comfortable position for me, there are too many variables that I can’t control. I am only one emergency away from my ability to meet the deadline being completely derailed. There is so much to juggle as I not only manage my own business, but I manage a household filled with beautiful souls that rely on me to be present and operating at full capacity. Just like so many other brave beings, “I belong to that classification of people known as wives. I am A Wife. And, not altogether incidentally, I am a mother.” (1) This quote is from a famous satirical poem entitled, “I Want a Wife”. I often find myself wishing that there were two of me. One to take care of all the tasks that keep things in motion in my household and my business and the other that can handle the fun stuff, the creative side of life. The author of the poem, Judy (Syfers) Brady goes through a list of things that having a wife would solve or make easier for her. This poem is not about marrying a woman, this is not about that. It is about having a “me” to take care of me. It is acknowledging that as a wife and a mother there is an expectation that things will be taken care of, and if you add ministry to that mix-overload is quickly creeping on the horizon. It is common for me to feel like I am firing all cylinders while also feeling like none of my cylinders are in motion.
Thinking, Fast and Slow is hailed as one of the greatest insights into the human mind. My belief about the writing, reading, and discussions, in this leg of the journey, is that all roads should lead to my NPO. The title of this book led me to believe that I would find a solution to my fast and slow processing that often leads to me feeling overloaded. I was hoping that it would help me determine how to be get it all done well and not face overload. Additionally, I was hoping that this book would provide tools useful to me as I conduct my research. To my surprise, the book is not about providing tools, it is an in-depth look into the mind and the systems that drive how we think.
Kahneman introduces two Systems that are creatively named system 1 and system 2. “System 1 operates automatically and quickly, with little or no effort and so sense of voluntary control. System 2 allocates attention to the effortful mental activities that demand it, including complex computations. The operations of System 2 are often associated with the subjective experience of agency, choice and concentration.”(2) Suggesting that the systems (specifically system 1 which informs system 2) that drive how we think operate automatically, made me uncomfortable. It raises concerns that there is no hope at changing incorrect, inaccurate impressions that may be driven by conscious or unconscious biases. I began to question how much experiences, exposures and environment plays a role in how we think in this automatic system that Kahneman describes. The book stops short of laying out concrete ways that these systems can be changed or altered. Malcolm Gladwell touches on this in his book blink (The Power of Thinking Without Thinking), he states, “Our first impressions are generated by our experiences and our environment, which means that we can change our first impressions- we can alter the way we thin-slice-by changing the experiences that comprise those impressions.”(3) This suggests that the automatic process that determines how we think can be shaped by changing our experience, our exposure. Gladwell also states, “If something is happening outside of awareness, how on earth do you fix it? The answer is that we are not helpless in the face of our first impressions. They may bubble up from the unconscious-from behind a locked door inside of our brain- but just because something is outside of awareness doesn’t mean it’s outside of control.”(4) We have the power to change unconscious behavior and patterns. My NPO is examining the sociological factors impacting black women leading in white religious spaces (in Texas). Malcolm Gladwell’s explanation was useful and encouraging as I try to apply this concept to my NPO. Although, I didn’t find concrete answers in any of the resources that I tapped this week, I now have an additional question for my next Discovery Workshop- How do I work with Christian leaders to embrace new experiences that can help rewire the impressions that they hold that may have been shaped by unconscious and/conscious biases?
I started this post expressing my desire to find tools to help me manage overload. I found a book that I want to share with you. Dr. Saundra Dalton -Smith wrote Sacred Rest in response to burn-out from overload. She suggests that we examine 7 areas of our lives to determine how to achieve “Sacred Rest”. Dr. Dalton- Smith states, “Healing occurs when we allow ourselves the time, space, and grace to be in the presence of God in the middle of our busy lives.” (5) I would also add that clarity occurs then we allow ourselves time, space, and grace in God’s presence. The seven areas as Dr. Dalton-Smith defines them are:
1. Physical Rest
2. Mental Rest
3. Emotional Rest
4. Spiritual Rest
5. Social Rest
6. Sensory Rest
7. Creative Rest
If you are curious about which type of rest that you might be missing, visit www.RestQuiz.com. I discovered that I am deficient in more than one area. For me, it is impossible to have clarity in thought and decision making when I am mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically exhausted. It is also unlikely that I will find a wife to help lift some of the load. I must seek out spaces where there is no overload. Sacred Rest is the key. Loved Ones, I pray that you find sacred rest, we will need plenty of it for the journey that lies ahead.
1.Judy Syfers, “I Want a Wife,” New York Magazine, December 20, 1971.
2.Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow (New York, NY: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2011), 20.
3.Malcolm Gladwell, Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking (New York: Back Bay Books/Little, Brown & Company, 2019), 97.
4.Ibid. 96.
5.Saundra Dalton-Smith, Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity (New York, NY: Faith Words, 2019), 28.
About the Author
Jonita Fair-Payton
20 responses to “All Systems Overloaded!”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Jonita,
When I was reading in your post about Dr. Saundra Dalton -Smith book Sacred Rest it made me think about the practice of creating a Rule of Life. The seven rests that she invites readers to examine could be included in that. AMEN to. . . .“Healing occurs when we allow ourselves the time, space, and grace to be in the presence of God in the middle of our busy lives.” I will add this book to my list and visit the website. How do you intentionally incorporate the seven components into your week? Day?
Cathy,
I am currently taking a social media rest. It has been an amazing awakening for me. I had not realized how much I was conditioned to checking the different sites. As a practice, I take Wednesdays to recalibrate and woke us the areas that need attention.
Hi Jonita,
I took the quiz!
Category Scores
Physical Rest Score: 26
Mental Rest Score: 32
Emotional Rest Score: 19
Spiritual Rest Score: 10
Social Rest Score: 11
Sensory Rest Score: 19
Creative Rest Score: 24
I suppose the mental rest would improve if I wasn’t taking this class, but oh well.
I am new to the “House Husband” role. At first, I found it to be slavery in all its different aspects. And then I remembered servant leadership. While ironing steals hours that I cannot have back, some of the tasks have become routine and I use them as my default mode network (sort of mindless activity that allows my mind to rest from our academic work). I have been surprised that some of my workable academic thoughts come while I am doing something mundane (like vacuuming!). I can’t wait for Spring so I can go outside and walk the dog for an hour or so.
Thanks for the Gladwell book. I need to check out “the rest of the story.” ….Shalom…Russ
I forgot something. C.S. Lewis’ Dignity of Causality. Pray, unceasingly (1 Thessalonians 5:17) is Paul’s reminder to bring every facet of our lives to Christ. Jennifer Vernam found the number 35,000 decisions are made by humans daily. While System 1 and 2 thinkers have strengths and weaknesses to contend with, imagine if we prayed continuously so that our decisions were guided by the Holy Spirit, all 35,000 of them.
Oh Russell! I love this:
While System 1 and 2 thinkers have strengths and weaknesses to contend with, imagine if we prayed continuously so that our decisions were guided by the Holy Spirit, all 35,000 of them. What a beautiful idea!
Rus,
I am so happy that you took the quiz. Were you surprised by your scores?
I have this practice of praying over the pieces of clothing when I am folding them. It is surprisingly centering.
Your post reminded me of my friends and extended family asking how I’m dealing with the extra workload of a doctoral program. My joking/not-joking answer is that I’m not doing any housework for 3 years.
I really appreciate your thinking about rewiring our brains to change biases. I think that could speak to many of our NPOs in one way or another, as most (all?) of us are looking to affect change and that usually involves addressing bias in ourselves and others.
Kim,
It would be so powerful if rewiring could be achieved. Conscious and unconscious biases are prevalent in so many spaces. It can be so discouraging when decision makers are dismissive and refuse to address them. There is so much work left to be done.
Thank you for the prompting of this post. Like Russell, I took the plunge and took the quiz! Turns out, I need rest in all areas. Sigh. The top three were:
Physical Rest Score: 29
Creative Rest Score: 27
Mental Rest Score: 25
I am pretty sure that diagnosing my issue is initially making me feel less restful, as in “oh great, self-care, ANOTHER thing to add to my to-do list.” But that is System 1 talking. I will commit to doing a bit more System 2 thinking on this.
Jen,
I am so glad that you took the quiz. The first time that I took it I scored high in all areas. It was an extremely difficult time in my life. I was getting absolutely no sacred rest. It was a real eye-opener for me. I took it a couple of days ago and my score had improved. I am a work in process/progress!
Like Russell, I took the quiz. Here are my results:
Category Scores
Physical Rest Score: 30
Mental Rest Score: 28
Emotional Rest Score: 24
Spiritual Rest Score: 16
Social Rest Score: 16
Sensory Rest Score: 19
Creative Rest Score: 23
I really try to make friendship and family and getting out in nature a priority. I don’t usually feel guilty about taking some time for self-care. However, this quiz points out that I could use MORE time for rest in many of these ways! Wow! It gives me permission to take more rest (I know I don’t NEED permission but somehow seeing it in print helps.)
My blog post began in a similar way to yours. I am feeling quite overwhelmed with all the responsibilities I carry as a mother of four, a pastor, a wife, a friend, an Uber driver for my kids, a dog walker for my best friend (my German Shepherd), a student in this doctoral program. It is A LOT and I am realizing how forgetful it is making me. I forget many many things each day – and yet I also remember a lot! I’m carrying so many details in my brain at all times.
I wonder if it might shift our perspective a bit to focus on what we ARE doing well. I bet you are rocking it as a mom and business owner and in all the roles you play in life.
I also love the question you ask towards the end of your post: How do I work with Christian leaders to embrace new experiences that can help rewire the impressions that they hold that may have been shaped by unconscious and/conscious biases? Such an important question!
Kally,
I love that you took the quiz. I’m right there with you…trying to hold many thing in my brain at one time and sometimes getting it right and other times failing at it. I love this idea, Kally:
“I wonder if it might shift our perspective a bit to focus on what we ARE doing well. I bet you are rocking it as a mom and business owner and in all the roles you play in life.” I did two really important things right today…I’m keeping those at the forefront of my mind as I end my day. Thank you for this!
Hi, Jonita,
Thank you for the great resource. I will definitely take the test. I do resonate with all you mentioned and then, to be honest, thought, how can I possibly think slow right now? However, I am also looking for tools that will help but not simply add another thing to think about. Ha! Ha! Centering prayer, for me helps so much when my mind is cluttered so I am adding that more intentionally in to my daily rhythms.
Thank you for your authenticity!
Ester,
I love centering prayer. It really is a great tool for settling my thoughts. I really should use it daily as a way to ward off the moments of anxiety that surface. Please let me know what you think about the quiz after you’ve had an opportunity to take it.
Thank you, Ms. Jonita for the helpful resources that you have provided. I felt the same way; last week, I was hosting several of my in-laws and their families at my home for the memorial of their mother that passed away a year ago. I was so busy, I just decided to give up on doing any posting or even attending the Monday zoom meeting. With all busyness of life and family responsibility, every week, I try to re-calibrate or re-set my course to be on track. Thank you for your encouragement.
Yes Noel! Take the time to re-calibrate and re-set. Life happens and we have to prioritize our lives and our work. We are all feeling the burn from trying to create the right balance. Hang in there…you are not alone.
Jonita, I really appreciate your post. I especially loved how you brought rest into the equation! I took the test as well, and will definitely be doing this resource with all my co-workers where I am constantly preaching self care, but with hardly any real tangible ways to do so. This quiz was amazing, and I unfortunately need rest in every area, but my emotional rest quotient is getting to the red zone!
Physical Rest Score: 23
Mental Rest Score: 27
Emotional Rest Score: 32
Spiritual Rest Score: 18
Social Rest Score: 20
Sensory Rest Score: 26
Creative Rest Score: 26
Happy to see my spiritual and social rest scores are doing ok:)
Jonita, I loved the “wife” metaphor. These last few weeks I feel like I have been dropping my “wifey” tasks so feel like I’d be crushing life if I had a wife to fulfill my tasks. If you could pass off one critical duty to a wife what would it be? Maybe you wouldn’t if it meant missing something important? Can you talk a little more on the concept of rest with system 1 and 2 thinking for me?
Jana,
I’m so glad that you took the test and found it useful. If I could pass one critical duty to a “wife” it would be grocery shopping and meal planning. She could have that in a heartbeat. I love cooking and sharing meals with my crew but everything leading up to that…She can handle that. LOL!
I believe rest makes all systems operate better.
According to Kahneman, System 1 is automatic and quick with no effort. When I think of the things that I do automictically, I do them with more care when I am rested. He describes System 2 as effortful mental activities including complex computations. Again, rest is the key to making sound effortful decisions.
Thanks for your post, Jonita!
I wanted to respond earlier but my RestQuiz results have not shown up yet. Did our cohort crash the sight? I am intrigued by the idea of creative rest. I am not consistent with my creative endeavors. When I am it feels great, but life gets busy and creative pursuits easily get set aside. I have had an unfinished lap quilt tucked away in a spare bedroom since 2002! By far my longest unfinished project. How do you practice creative rest?
Hi Jonita!
I love reading your post because I think it emerges from deep thought and reflection.
Anyway, I can use empathy to put myself in your shoes. I hope and at the same time, I believe that the strength within you that comes from God will help and enable you, and all of us in this cohort also.
I just wonder, when you read Kahneman’s writings, how far can his thoughts help you to see which system of thought has dominated you in carrying out your tasks?