A Matter of Trust
This week’s reading of Leading Out of Who You Are by Simon Walker underlines how vital trust is in leadership. If followers don’t trust their leaders, they simply will not continue to follow. [1] In thinking of this trust relationship, I am naturally put in mind of Native Americans. Recent research says that 66% of Native Americans identify as Christian (either Catholic or Protestant). This is significantly lower than for other ethnicities. [2] They will tell you that they have heard the gospel message. That is not the issue. They have not seen it lived out with integrity by those proclaiming it. It all boils down to an issue of trustworthiness, even in sharing the gospel. I have lived among them now for twenty-one years and have endeavored to fill the trust gap.
Walker spent a good bit of the book discussing how our own experience of trust was shaped in childhood. [3] I wasn’t altogether pleased with the category I fell into. I was thankful to know that these categories are not written in stone, and that leaders can change with the help of Christ. [4]
I believe that as Christians, and as Christian leaders in particular, it is very easy to be overcome with busying ourselves with many seemingly good things… Things need to be done by someone, and we are leaders, so we are the obvious choice. We pile more and more on ourselves, when the Lord hasn’t called us to do those things. One person cannot do everything – but sometimes we try. Walker makes an excellent point here. “Be still, and know that I am God.” [5] It is not about getting a lot done, but about getting the right things done. [6] I’m preaching to the choir on this note. I am terrible about taking on jobs simply because they need doing and no one else will do them. Where there is a need, I want to fill it. I am already maxed out in what I am physically able to do right now. But when something comes up my mind will automatically wonder if I am the one that is supposed to tackle it.
In the end, Walker points out that we ought to have a childlike approach to leadership. [7] I love this. He suggests that as children are playful, so leaders should be playful as well. [8] This reminds me of our tour of Archbishop Tutu’s museum in Cape Town. They told us how playful he was. It was very inspiring. He had an enormous responsibility that could be daunting and overwhelming at times I am sure, and yet could draw people in with a playful heart. We ask children to take responsibility for their messes, and to clean up after themselves. [9] What a wonderful world we would live in if even just our leaders would take responsibility for their own messes and clean up after themselves. We grow up and forget the lessons learned in Kindergarten. Finally, children are very trusting. [10] I’m beginning and ending with this word trust. To be a better leader, we need to build trust between ourselves and our followers. We ought to be trustworthy people. We also need to be vulnerable in areas of our lives. This vulnerability will make us better leaders and build more trust.
Jesus Christ himself fulfills this model of a leader. He was often playful with his words. For example, in Matthew 7:3-5 we find the story of a speck in another’s eye and a tree trunk in your own eye. [11] He took responsibility for paying his own taxes by sending them to get coins out of fishes’ mouths in Matthew 17. [12] And in Mark 9:30-32 Jesus shared with his disciples the death that he was about to face. He trusted them with this knowledge, and was completely vulnerable, even though they did not understand at the time. [13] Jesus is our ultimate example of undefended leadership.
_______________________________________________________________________
[1] Walker, Simon P. 2007. Leading out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership. Carlisle: Piquant, p.6.
[2] “Religio-Spiritual Participation in Two American Indian Populations,” National Library of Medicine, March 2014, November 3, 2022, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4646059/.
[3] Walker, Simon P. 2007. Leading out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership. Carlisle: Piquant, p.62.
[4] Walker, Simon P. 2007. Leading out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership. Carlisle: Piquant, p.98.
[5] Crossway Bibles, ed. 2007. ESV: Study Bible: English Standard Version. ESV text ed. Wheaton, Ill: Crossway Bibles, p.603.
[6] Walker, Simon P. 2007. Leading out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership. Carlisle: Piquant, p.101.
[7] Walker, Simon P. 2007. Leading out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership. Carlisle: Piquant, p.127.
[8] Walker, Simon P. 2007. Leading out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership. Carlisle: Piquant, p.131.
[9] Walker, Simon P. 2007. Leading out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership. Carlisle: Piquant, p.135.
[10] Walker, Simon P. 2007. Leading out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership. Carlisle: Piquant, p.134.
[11] Crossway Bibles, ed. 2007. ESV: Study Bible: English Standard Version. ESV text ed. Wheaton, Ill: Crossway Bibles, p.1052.
[12] Crossway Bibles, ed. 2007. ESV: Study Bible: English Standard Version. ESV text ed. Wheaton, Ill: Crossway Bibles, p.1067.
[13] Crossway Bibles, ed. 2007. ESV: Study Bible: English Standard Version. ESV text ed. Wheaton, Ill: Crossway Bibles, p.1097.
About the Author
Tonette Kellett
Missionary, teacher, Bible student, traveler ... Having lived in Kenya and Korea, I now live in Mississippi and work with the Mississippi Band of Choctaw Indians.12 responses to “A Matter of Trust”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Tonette,
You state:
“I have lived among them now for twenty-one years and have endeavored to fill the trust gap.” This is awesome!!! I am curious what has proven to establish the trust that you have with the Native Americans? How has your example impacted them? Has this come through their personal reports or has there been a circumstance which gives light to the trust they are able to have with you?
I pray that you will continue to establish the trust needed to share the gospel message to those around you! I know that God lives and moves in you and is accomplishing great things through you.
Kristy,
I have tried to live honestly and with integrity all of these years. One thing that has been important is to always keep my word to them, even in the small things. I am now teaching the second generation of children. These current students I have, I taught their parents.
In this past five weeks we have had 3 suicides, 5 attempted suicides, and 3 others that were planning suicide attempts that are in treatment facilities right now. We are a very small school in a tight knit community so this has been devastating.
I think a good example of trust they have in me would be the call I got after one of the attempts. It was from a former student whose child had tried hanging herself in the back yard. She asked me to come talk to them. Because I had been such a positive influence on the mother’s life when she was a young teen, they had already decided that they wanted to send the child to come stay with me for a week or so to “heal”. I was able to convince the family that what she needed more than me was a treatment facility that could watch her and counsel with her professionally.
Years before, I had led her mother to the Lord, and just last spring I had the privilege of leading the daughter to the Lord. The Lord is definitely moving in my community, but we have a very real enemy as well.
You are a trusted member in your community. Thank you for sharing how Jesus has given you opportunities to share His love and care. You have done well to build trust.
I am praying that life will conquer death. Praying truth- not lies; believing for God’s Spirit to come and reign where you work and live!!
Have you considered asking a mental health provider to come and share about suicidal prevention? I hope you have some connections in the community. If you would like to assess if a mental health provider is someone who might work well for you, please contact me. I would be honored to process this with you!
Thank you Kristy. We have a team of mental health providers that have been working in the community with us. They are even set up in the atrium in our school permanently since this began. They have been in our classrooms to speak to small groups, and children have talked individually to them as the students have wanted to go to them. Many of the students right now see these providers for one-on-one counseling. That was definitely a good thought. Thank you!
This is fantastic!
I hope you might be able to have signed release of confidentiality with some of the students. I found that it was very helpful to work collaboratively with teachers and administrators as a school counselor. You have great insight and input into these children’s lives. You know the parents/families…your kind and insightful words mean a lot!!
I pray that some of the counselors you work with are fellow believers.
Tonnette,
What a powerful generational change you are first hand transforming. I am proud of the work that you are doing.
What advice would you give to new leaders coming in to a community like you did?
Hi Tonnett,
Thank you for highlighting the warranted lack of trust the Native American community feels with the church in America. They are justified in pointing out that there is an incongruence with the message proclaimed and the message lived out by us Christians – particularly the horrific acts of injustice inflicted upon the Native Americans.
I second Kristy’s question: What are the ways you are building trust with them and reversing the normative narrative of the church among the Native American community you live with?
David,
I learned when I first began working with them that it is extremely important to keep your word in every little detail. If I say I am going to do anything, I must follow through. That is vital.
Also, it is important to actually live the gospel message day to day in front of them, to be a living witness.
Thank you for your question.
Tonette, I appreciated you sharing your felt need to meet the overwhelming temptation of trying to do every good thing that might present themselves. I recently was talking to my friend about this very dilemma. We asked the question, “if there’s something that needs to be done and we make the choice to not do it in an attempt to set boundaries, are we at fault or somehow a bad Christian?” I’m grateful for Walker in helping me realize that at least partially, I’ve idealized my role and ability in my community. I’m hopeful and grateful that we can continue to wrestle with the tension between meeting felt needs and our own limitations together.
Caleb,
I am grateful to know that I am not alone in this struggle of overdoing it when it comes to taking on work in the name of the Lord. Thank you for sharing also.
Tonette – Thank you for sharing that insight into Native American mistrust of Christianity. I can certainly understand why that mistrust is there based on the history of how they have been treated throughout U.S. history. Do you see a way forward in that respect? How can we as Christian leaders help restore trust to the Native American community?
Laura,
I think by building relationships first. Then by being honest and transparent, and most importantly, by keeping your word. Live the truth of the gospel day to day in your relationship and let them see it lived out in your life up close and personal.
Thank you for the question.