A Battle to Win – A Battle Within.
Starting a new activity of any significance generally produces excitement for me. It could be a new semester, a life or family event, an upcoming activity or project, or even a workout. I try to attack most things with all I can and for the most part, this strategy has worked in my favor. I am often inspired by almost anything which fuels my desire and leads to movement. My enthusiasm to excel and to be proud of my effort has become a personality trait and part of who I am.
I believe my sanguinity and perceived invincibility are an asset but unfortunately, I also find them to be a liability and stressor that leads to undesirable outcomes. I struggle with telling people “no” even when I know wholeheartedly I’m mismanaging my schedule and I will suffer the consequences. I lose sleep, skip meals, miss workouts, and constantly feel like I’m everyone else’s slave. Worse yet, I have conditioned those around me to expect my assistance. When I do step back, it often creates frustration on my part because I know it will either not be completed or not meet my standards. I am in a role in my professional career that is taxing on my time and this assessment has been much deeper than an analysis of my educational skillsets. It has been extremely revealing to me and humbling from a leadership standpoint in my career and as a father. It is my hope that this semester is the beginning of a new life for me that includes new leadership tactics, strict scheduling, and improved life balance.
What does this have to do with reading, note-taking, or writing? Everything! I enjoy the process of education. I love knowledge and the development of learning and conveying my opinions or arguments. I like working with others and I also love to escape in a book or an essay. However, my honest self-assessment of my particular skill sets does not express my passion, joy, or meet my standards. I believe I have enormous room for improvement. It is not that I struggle or dread the essential tasks that accompany a doctoral program. I struggle with managing the rest of my life and my personal desires take a back seat. My optimism and grind are great qualities I appreciate but I’m finding it increasingly more difficult to continue on my previous paths of constantly pleasing. This assignment has certainly been a reality check and I am praying that I can regularly stick to the principles I have set for myself and avoid stressful or rushed situations.
I am grateful for a program that encourages a scholarly strategy that assists in efficient reading and note-taking. I was motivated by our assigned reading and I am greatly encouraged by the guidance presented in “How to Read a Book” and “Smart Note Taking.” Albert Einstein said “Paper is to write things down that we need to remember. Our brains are used to think.” I am encouraged by this and other quotes from Ahrens that have helped me see the vision from a wide lens and not waste time on minutia. It is my hope that I can utilize the new skills I have learned and create a comfortable and efficient flow with school, work, and life in general. This assessment has helped me put a lot of my obstacles into perspective and prioritize my activities. I firmly believe and pray that my leadership going forward will create life balance and there is a direct correlation between my happiness, efficiency in this program, and implementation of these new skills.
About the Author
Michael O'Neill
Director of Operations / Executive Pastor at Kinergy, Inc. Federal 501c3 Non-Profit Organization. An experienced entrepreneur, leader, father, wellness professional, and owner of a multi-location medical practice with my wife, Nicole O'Neill, MD.4 responses to “A Battle to Win – A Battle Within.”
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Michael,
I can hear your voice come through your writing!
I am familiar with the word sanguine but have not heard the word sanguinity. I am repeating this word several times in order to capture it in my brain. This word describes you well!
Thank you for your admission to being one who struggles with saying “no” to people. I hope the demand of our doctorate work will encourage you and I both in setting boundaries. How else will we get through all of our work?!
I’m curious if you enjoy listening to books on audio? You could work out AND get your reading in!?
Thanks, Kristy! I love audiobooks. I keep my ear pods with me regularly and like to pick up where I left off whenever I see the opportunity. I also like to listen on drives. I will sometimes do the audiobooks while doing cardio but I also like to use my iPad to read on the bike. Overall I prefer audio because I can usually do more than one thing at a time but real books and ebooks are better when I need to reference. Thanks!
Michael,
Thank you for sharing. I, too, have struggled with saying “no” to people, activities, and tasks. I remember literally sitting on my hands in a staff meeting a number of years ago in order to not volunteer for a task that I knew I did not have the time to complete. One of the things I have learned over the years as I have worked on saying “no” is that when I do something I should not do, I am denying someone else the opportunity to be a blessing. I am denying someone an opportunity for growth. Two things helped me tremendously. One was reading “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud and John Townsend. The second is that before I say “yes” to something, I talk to my husband. By taking that extra time, it enables me to really process if I should do something and it gives me another voice to the conversation. Usually, I know right away how to answer, but this prevents the knee-jerk reaction of always saying “yes.” What are some specific, concrete methods you can use to help you find balance?
A willing heart is what I hear from your post. God will allow you to find balance as you serve others. Great post I pray that some of that spirited motivation can blow my way. Thanks for sharing.