Written by: Chris Ellis on October 31, 2013

A Failure of Nerve by Thomas Friedman is unlike any leadership book I’ve ever read, and that’s mostly a good thing. To be honest, my brain is almost in overload mode because his notion of how to be a leader and to bring about change in family, organization and society comes from a different vantage point than books I normally read and speakers I typically listen to. He downplays empathy, consensus, communalism, stability and other ideas that are the basis of my left leaning sensibilities, and that’s mostly a good thing.

The basis of Friedmans’s entire book is that leaders need to have self-differentiation, so they know who they are, what their vision is, a sense of adventure and an unceasing drive to achieve their goal. While I don’t agree with Freidman in everything, here are a few (of the many) ideas that I found particularly pertinent to me.

Identity: When differentiating between an autocrat and a differentiated leader Friedman writes, “ I mean someone who has clarity about his or her own life goals, and therefore someone who is less likely to become lost in the anxious emotional processes swirling about” (pg. 14). For Friedman, core to leadership is an understanding of one’s own self, vision, and purpose.  Without this, we can’t hope to lead. This forces me to pause and really examine who I am. Do I have an identity, vision and purpose? I think the answer to that is yes, and no. I don’t have a specific God-given goal or purpose. My calling feels more like a Joshua one than a Moses one. I look back and seeing what God has done, but I don’t have a master plan/vision ahead of me.  Yet, that which guides me forward is the hope that I’ll be faithful (ala James Hunter) to whatever God has called me.  So without this specific clear and articulated purpose, can I be a self-differentiated leader?

Reactive: Friedman also focuses on the idea that leaders can’t be reactive. He writes, “They remain in a reactive stance themselves, led by each emerging crisis rather than being able to take a proactive stance that develops out of an objective perspective or principal” (pg. 65).  I admit I’m guilty of this, on both a professional and a personal level.  Professionally, I don’t always take the needed time to step back and really think about what’s next. I often respond to the tyranny of the urgent and move from fire to fire trying to put them out. I need concentrated time to step back and step away so I’m less reactive and more proactive in my job. Personally, I often want to have the last word, and I can react unnecessarily to a challenge or slight. It’s sad, but sometimes if I know someone is going to do or say something mean spirited, I’ve already thought about my response so it’ll be on the tip of my tongue. Unfortunately, my responses aren’t meant to uplift or remedy a person or situation. I’m reacting before that person has even acted! I need to learn how to be a “non-anxious” and ‘non-reactive’ presence. Fortunately, just reading this book and being able to name it has already helped.

Safety: “This focus on safety has become so omnipresent in our chronically anxious civilization that there is a real danger we will come to believe that safety is the most important value in life” (pg. 83). This seems to be a prevalent understanding and belief in American Christianity. We don’t think God will call us to something unsafe. We don’t think that God would call our families into a situation that would put them at risk. But what do we base this on? A God who didn’t give up his own son to death?  Do we base it on a multitude of martyrs that didn’t pay for their faith with their own life and blood? Safety has become an idol.  I’m sad to admit, but I like that idol. I want to play it safe. I like my 401k. I like my creature comforts. I want to retire at 55.  I don’t want to ever imagine doing anything that might put my family at risk.  Fortunately, my goal is faithfulness and not danger. At present, God has not called me to such a situation, but do I believe that he would? If he did, would I respond faithfully? Those are troubling questions for me. How would you answer them?

About the Author

Chris Ellis