Written by: Jeff Styer on November 17, 2025

I took the time to have ChatGPT interview me, I dove deep into the questions spending hours on both Week 1 and Week 2 questions.  I read over the nice essays that ChatGPT created for me based on my response, but in the end, it wasn’t my voice. maybe it’s a control issue or it feels like cheating. So, I’ll write my own summaries.

Walker and Friedman Similarities and differences

Simon Walker (The Undefended Leader) and Edwin Friedman (A Failure of Nerve) seem to have a lot in common.[1] Both authors come from religious backgrounds, Walker a Christian and Friedman a Jew. They both incorporate psychological aspects throughout their books. Both authors in many ways are writing about the same idea. Walker’s idea of an undefended leader is like Friedman’s idea of being a non-anxious presence; both require the individual not to get caught up in the emotions (anxiety) that surrounds them but to differentiate. To differentiate Friedman would have us focus on our personal and/or organizational/family goals.  Whereas Walker would have us focus on our identity found in Christ, I would argue that Walker’s focus is better because without anchoring our identity in Christ, we are at risk of reacting to our various ego structures regardless of how differentiated we appear to be.

As we note the ideas of non-anxious and differentiated leadership being similar to undefended leadership, one must keep in mind that the opposite is also true.  A person who exhibits signs of chronic anxiety when relating to their systems is also likely to show signs of defended leadership.

Threshold Concepts

There are threshold concepts found in both books that we seem to continuously come back to throughout our other readings.  I’ve already mentioned being a non-anxious presence, differentiated and undefended; there are other concepts. For Friedman, his description of a family/organization caught up in chronic anxiety has been useful as I have been able to assess others and myself.  I find myself constantly looking for reactivity, herding, and blame displacement, and a quick-fix mentality.  For Walker, I’ve known the idea of front stage and backstage exist, but I’ve been more apt to search for the harmony between the two in those with whom I interact.  Also, for Walker another threshold concept is the idea that leadership is “helping people to move toward fully mature, responsible personhood.”[2] This frames leadership as being more of a partnership.  This is similar to the idea of servant leadership.  Developed by Greenleaf, servant leadership includes empowering followers and helping “them develop their full human capacities.[3]

Consilience of ideas

Taking the idea of consilience, one can see the idea of chronic anxiety and defended leadership through a scriptural lens. People engage in this type of behavior because it is part of the sin nature. This exhibits itself clearly in Genesis 3.  Once Adam and Eve had eaten the fruit, they discover their nakedness and reactivity and quick-fix mentality kick in, they sewed fig leaves to cover their nakedness, and they hid from God when they heard him coming.  When God confronts them, they become defended and shift blame.

The man replied, “The woman you gave to be with me ​— ​she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate.”  So the Lord God asked the woman, “What have you done?”

And the woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”[4]

There are also other ideas within psychology that help explain the tendency to exhibit chronic anxiety.  For example, Kahneman’s idea of System 1 and System 2.[5]  System 2 is lazy, so the default is to engage in the various System 1 tools. It is easier to react, herd, blame, and look for quick fixes than to take the time to differentiate and engage in System 2 thinking.

System 1 thinking however also shows up in a positive way in Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder book RARE Leadership.  They talk about acting like yourself. They discuss the importance of knowing and living into your identity and how that can become like system 1 thinking.[6] This idea of living into who you are ties well into the belief that we are created in the image of God.  As Walker suggests, leadership is to help people live into responsible personhood. A Christian undefended leader must first figure out what it means to fully live into being the image of God, leaving behind their defensive ego structures and then help others also living into that identity.

leadership presence, power, and resilience

Leadership is a lot of work and not something a person should desire to practice without considering the cost. Despite a leader’s best intentions, they cannot fully control all their followers. Leaders must not become anxious or defended when followers resist their leadership. Power is present in leadership and there are different types of power, but one thing all leaders struggle with is the desire to hold on to and even at times abuse their power.[7] Despite the desire to maintain power sometimes leaders realize that they must go outside what appears to be the best practices and make decisions that allow for the ultimate survival and better health of their community.  Walker suggests that this can even include allowing your followers to fail.[8] Leaders must rise above the chronic anxiety including emotional triangles to make the best decision to fulfill what they believe is God’s calling/plan/purpose for them and/or their community. Leaders rise above the chronic anxiety by engaging in system 2 thinking (not being reactive when it is unhealthy). Leaders, however, can engage in system 1 thinking when they are healthy, undefended, and their system 1 thinking is grounded in their identity in Christ (As a Christian this is what I do because it shows love of God and love of neighbor)

Conclusion

Overall, there are many books that we read throughout the past 4 -5 semesters that I will continuously come back to. However, Walker and Friedman are two books that blend psychology and leadership well and are books that will become well worn.  Next week I will discuss how I have used these books in my current leadership context and the impact they are making in my life.

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[1] Walker, The Undefended Leader, (Carlisle, CA: Piquant Editions Ltd, 2010); Friedman A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix. (New York: Church Publishing, 2007).

[2] Walker, 150.

[3] Peter. G. Northouse, Leadership: Theory & Practice 9^th Edition, (Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage, 2022), 283.

[4] Genesis 3:12-13 (CSB)

[5] Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow, (Canada: Anchor Canada, 2013).

[6] Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, Rare Leadership: 4 Uncommon Habits for increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead, (Chicago, IL: Moody, 2016).

[7] Walker; Wright, & Bird.  Jesus and the Powers: Christian Political Witness in an Age of Totalitarian Terror and Dysfunctional Democracies.  (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2024).

[8] Walker.

About the Author

Jeff Styer

Jeff Styer lives in Northeast Ohio's Amish Country. He has degrees in Social Work and Psychology and currently works as a professor of social work at Mount Vernon Nazarene University. Jeff is married to his wife, Veronica, 25+ years. Together they have 4 beautiful children (to be honest, Jeff has 4 kids, Veronica says she is raising 5). Jeff loves the outdoors, including biking, hiking, camping, birding, and recently picked up disc golf.