Finding Joy…
Introduction
Nicholas Rowe’s Healing Leadership Trauma: Finding Emotional Health and Helping Others Flourish,[1] is deeply rooted in the realities of leadership, especially the emotional and relational toll it can take. This book is especially relevant for leaders in ministry, education, nonprofits, and any setting where emotional labor and relational complexity are part of the role. Nicholas Rowe, a leadership professor, and Sheila Wise Rowe, a seasoned counselor, combine their expertise to offer a holistic framework for healing.
Key Themes and Structure
The book is organized around five central themes that guide the healing journey:
- Invitation – Recognizing the call to confront and process leadership-related trauma.
- Attachment – Exploring how early relational patterns shape leadership behaviors and emotional responses.
- Remembrance – Reflecting on past wounds and their lingering effects.
- Healing – Engaging in practices that foster emotional restoration and spiritual renewal.
- Reconnection – Rebuilding trust, community, and relational integrity in leadership contexts.
Each chapter integrates biblical wisdom, psychological insight, and practical exercises, including prayers and reflection prompts. The authors emphasize that unaddressed trauma can lead to dysfunctional leadership patterns, while healing opens the door to more compassionate, resilient, and empowering leadership.
Distinctive Contributions
- Integrative approach: The book blends theology, psychology, and leadership theory in a way that is accessible and deeply pastoral.
- Focus on emotional health: Rather than offering quick leadership tips, it invites leaders into a deeper journey of self-awareness and transformation.
- Support for both emerging and seasoned leaders: It acknowledges that trauma affects leaders at all stages and offers tools for sustained growth.
Value
While Healing Leadership Trauma is written with ministry and organizational leaders in mind, this book is surprisingly relevant to my role in the corporate landscape, especially given the emotional complexity and relational demands of my work.
In chapter 1, The Heart of the Matter[2], Rowe introduces the emotional toll of leadership and the need for self-awareness. Rowe explores how unprocessed trauma affects decision-making, relationships, and leadership style. Emotional intelligence is framed as a critical skill for recognizing internal wounds and leading with integrity.
Emotional Intelligence in High-Stakes Environments
As a Procurement Professional, my role often involves navigating competing priorities, tight timelines, and difficult negotiations. This book helped me:
- Recognize emotional triggers, from past leadership experiences.
- Respond with grounded clarity rather than reactive urgency.
- Build resilience in the face of conflict, ambiguity, or relational strain.
Relational Leadership and Trust-Building
I manage vendor relationships, internal stakeholders, and cross-functional teams. The book’s focus on healing and reconnection supports:
- Repairing strained relationships with suppliers or colleagues.
- Creating psychologically safe spaces for collaboration.
- Leading with empathy and integrity, even when under pressure.
Self-Awareness as Strategic Insight
Procurement decisions are not just transactional, they are strategic. The book invites me to reflect on:
- How past leadership dynamics shape current decision-making.
- Where emotional fatigue or unresolved tension may cloud judgment.
- How healing can unlock clearer vision and more ethical leadership.
In Chapter 2: Our Relational God[3]
Connects emotional intelligence to spiritual formation. This chapter emphasizes attachment theory and relational dynamics, showing how leaders’ emotional patterns mirror their early experiences and theological understandings. It encourages leaders to cultivate empathy, attunement, and emotional presence.
For me as a procurement professional, this chapter offers profound relevance in three key areas:
Spiritual Wisdom in Professional Leadership
Chapter 2 reminds me that:
- God’s relational nature is a model for leadership, one that values presence, listening, and grace.
- Healing relational wounds (from past roles, betrayals, or burnout) is essential for sustainable leadership.
- My leadership can be a witness to wholeness, even in corporate or logistical settings.
In Chapter 6: Healing the Harmed Heart[4]
To truly enjoy this chapter, I am approaching it from the heart of participant for my own restoration and not just a reader. This chapter shifts from naming pain to practicing restoration. For me, enjoying it means letting it minister to me not just inform me.
More specifically, “it” encompasses:
- The content of the chapter offers new discoveries, stories, and theological reflections.
- The healing process invites moving from awareness of pain to active restoration.
- The spiritual and emotional posture encourages openness, vulnerability, and receptivity.
So, when I say, “letting it minister to me not just inform me,” I am beautifully naming my intention to receive the chapter not merely as information, but as a means of grace, a tool for my own healing and transformation.
In 2011, I worked for a small, Christ-centered company where I felt respected and valued. During the recession, I asked the CFO, my longtime boss if I was at risk of letting go. He assured me I was essential to the company. Yet days later, he called from Taipei to say my last day would be November 1st. After six years of honest collaboration, I felt deeply betrayed, especially since he did not tell me face-to-face. This evening, sitting in the Taipei airport and blogging about my past shock, I sensed there was a reason behind it all. That story is for another time. I have moved on.
Conclusion
Being assured and then unexpectedly released was not just a business decision, it fractured a relationship I had built on trust and integrity over six years. The betrayal cut deeper than employment; it challenged the relational foundation I had worked hard to cultivate. Healing Leadership Trauma helped me name that pain, honor its impact, and begin moving forward with clarity and grace. That moment of confusion and grief became a turning point, a doorway to relational healing. I did not erase the hurt; I reclaimed my voice, reset my boundaries, and committed to lead with honesty and compassion. Sitting in the Taipei airport this evening, I realized this was not just an ending, it was the beginning of a more emotionally grounded leadership journey. I am grateful for this assignment.
[1] Nicholas Rowe, Healing Leadership Trauma: Finding Emotional Health and Helping Others Flourish, 1st ed, with Sheila Wise Rowe (InterVarsity Press, 2024).
[2] Rowe, Healing Leadership Trauma, Chapter 1.
[3] Rowe, Healing Leadership Trauma, Chapter 2.
[4] Rowe, Healing Leadership Trauma, Chapter 6.
About the Author
Shela Sullivan
Born and raised on the vibrant Penang Island in Malaysia, I cherish the Malaysian greeting, “Mari Makan!!” which reflects the warmth of shared meals. Since 1996, I have called Oregon my home enjoying the raindrops and the serenity of its beaches. The ocean connects me to nature and energizes me. I am a Wife - Mentor - Traveling Pastor - Sourcing Manager Construction. Favorite Bible Verse: "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." ~ Psalm 37:4~ I reside with my husband, David and our fur-baby Rolo. We share passions for travelling, culture, diverse cuisines, home improvements, classic cars and laughter.6 responses to “Finding Joy…”
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Rev. Dr. Sullivan,
I appreciated when you said, “I am approaching [the book] from the heart of a participant for my own restoration and not just a reader.” That feels like the right posture for engaging a book like this. I also valued the way you highlighted specific ways it’s shaping your life—it made your reflections feel thoughtful and tangible.
As you describe being at “the beginning of a more emotionally grounded leadership journey,” I’m curious: what brings you the most hope or excitement as you step into this part of your journey?
Dr. Elysse, thank you for the question.
What brings me the most hope at this stage is the realization that leadership does not have to be defined by carrying wounds alone, it can be shaped by healing and wholeness. Rowe’s book reminded me that emotional health is not just about my own flourishing but about creating space where others can thrive too. I am excited by the possibility of leading with greater authenticity and resilience, knowing that my past experiences can be transformed into wisdom rather than burdens.
I also feel hopeful about the ripple effect: as I grow in emotional groundedness, I can model a healthier way of leading that encourages openness, trust, and restoration in the communities I serve. That vision of leadership is rooted in healing rather than performance, gives me energy and anticipation for what lies ahead.
Shela, You share a challenging story so beautifully. Thank you for vulnerably and openly modeling relational healing to our class. Know that I am praying for you as you continue to grieve your father. No questions today, just sending love, hugs, and prayers.
Hi Kari,
Thank you for your kind words and for carrying me in your prayers. Praying for your safety too.
Hi Shela! Prayers continue for you on your healing journey. Grief and loss are weighty. I appreciate how you mentioned, “naming pain to practicing restoration. For me, enjoying it means letting it minister to me not just inform me.”
Can you share with me a time when you allowed it to minister to you in a special way?
Hi Daren, thank you for carrying me in your prayers.
One moment that comes to mind was during a season of loss when I felt the weight of disappointment and grief pressing in. Instead of rushing past it or trying to “fix” it, I allowed myself to sit with the pain and name it honestly before God. In that space, I found that Scripture, prayer, and even silence began to minister to me, not as information to analyze, but as a presence that met me where I was.
What made it special was the shift from simply understanding restoration to actually receiving it. I experienced God’s comfort in a way that reminded me I was not alone, and that healing could begin even in the midst of sorrow. That moment taught me that grief, when named and held with care, can become a doorway to deeper restoration and hope.