Leader Formation: Heart Before Strategy and Skill
Leadership is often framed as a matter of strategy, skills, or charisma; a toolbox of techniques to inspire and achieve. But what if the heart of leadership lies deeper, in the unseen terrain of a leader’s identity? I recently facilitated a 48-hour leadership retreat for the project that addresses my NPO, where we gathered stakeholders to provide final feedback on the project. We didn’t focus on tactics or metrics. Instead, we centered the retreat on one word: Identity. Not the branding kind, but the inner, soul-steadying kind that shapes decisions, influences behaviour, and sustains courageous leadership.
Rooted in Relationship, Not Tips and Tricks
Christian leadership begins with being formed in relationship with the Triune God. From that sacred connection flows a secure identity, one that liberates us to lead without fear, pretense, or the need to dominate. During the retreat, we leaned heavily on Simon Walker’s Leading Out of Who You Are, which unpacks the power of leading from an “undefended” self. This perspective resonated deeply with participants. One reflected, “I thought I was signing up for leadership ‘tips and tricks,’ but we’re really being formed as leaders.” Their words confirmed my conviction: true leader formation prioritizes the heart over mere skill development.
My NPO focuses on helping leaders transition from heroic, lone-ranger leadership to collaborative approaches. But through my research, I’ve realized that this shift starts with the inner life because who we are shapes how we lead, long before what we do. A leader with a secure identity fosters environments where people flourish. Conversely, as Walker notes, unhealed insecurities can leak into organizational culture, manifesting as control, power struggles, or performative leadership.[1] Similarly, in Healing Leadership Trauma, Nicholas Rowe and Sheila Wise Rowe emphasize, “Leading well requires examining and healing any drivers of our malformed spiritual formation and relational attachment.”[2] They point to research showing how early attachment issues or unmet needs can undermine our ability to lead and relate well.
The Cost of Leading from Unhealed Places
When leaders operate from insecurity or unaddressed wounds, their leadership becomes less about service and more about survival. Rowe and Wise Rowe warn, “Our actions come from who we are as a person, and if we struggle with our personhood and identity, it will show up in our leadership. We will try to use doing to define our being.”[3] How often do we measure our worth by our output? How often do we use ministry or mission to soothe feelings of rejection, invisibility, or shame? When we lead this way:
- We seek affirmation rather than offer it.
- We avoid conflict to protect our image.
- We struggle to celebrate others’ successes.
- We mistake busyness for belonging.
Tragically, those under our care bear the weight of our unresolved stories, carrying burdens they were never meant to shoulder.
Addressing Leadership Trauma
While Walker focuses on formative attachments, Rowe and Wise Rowe expand the conversation to include trauma, including gender and racial/ethnic trauma. They elaborate:
Leadership trauma is when a leader’s current struggles in life and work trigger flash-forwards of a feared future. We’ve expanded the definition of leadership trauma to also include how current stressors may trigger flashbacks of past trauma. Those triggers may cause us to reexperience past hurt and trauma psychosocially, emotionally, physically, spiritually, or interpersonally. If leaders do not attend to this reality, they are especially susceptible to reenactment, which is when trauma in our past that has not been resolved follows us into new situations that remind us of the past.[4]
Healing leadership trauma doesn’t mean stepping away from leadership to “fix” ourselves. It’s a sacred process of inviting God and trusted others into the backstage of our lives with honesty, transparency, humility, and hope.
As I work with younger leaders, this book brings awareness to the emotional and relational foundation of leadership, not just skills and strategy. It is a resource that can help younger leaders find healing and learn to lead from a place of wholeness, rather than develop reactive leadership patterns.
Practical Steps for Shaping Healthy Leadership Cultures
For those shaping organizational or ministry cultures, consider these practices to foster secure, flourishing leadership:
- Live Within Limits: Model healthy rest and Sabbath. Stop working. Show that life and leadership thrive beyond constant output.
- Develop a Theology of Imperfection: Embrace grace for yourself and others. Create spaces where people know they belong, imperfections and all.
- Be Real: Admit when you’re wrong or don’t know something. Authenticity builds trust.
- Be Vulnerable: Share your journey appropriately. Vulnerability invites connection and models courage.
- Build Psychological Safety: Create environments where people can fail, disagree, or take risks without fear of judgment or punishment, as outlined by Amy Edmondson in The Fearless Organization.[5]
A Word for Struggling Leaders
If you’re a leader wrestling with identity, wondering if your leadership is sustainable, or using ministry to soothe inner aches, hear this:
- You are deeply loved by the Triune God.
- Your worth isn’t tied to your output or role.
- You are not forgotten.
- You are not alone.
- You are not disqualified.
- You’ve been invited into a sacred calling.
- Healing is possible.
Leadership formation begins with the heart, not skills and strategies. When we lead from a secure, healed identity, we create space for others to flourish, and that’s where true transformation begins.
[1] Simon P. Walker, Leading Out Of Who You Are:Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership, The Undefended Leader (Piquant Publishing, 2007). Chapters 3-5.
[2] Nicholas Rowe, Healing Leadership Trauma: Finding Emotional Health and Helping Others Flourish, 1st ed, with Sheila Wise Rowe (InterVarsity Press, 2024), 13.
[3] Rowe, Healing Leadership Trauma, 25.
[4] Rowe, Healing Leadership Trauma, 11.
[5] Amy C. Edmondson, The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth (Wiley, 2019).
About the Author
Graham English
I was born in Cape Town, South Africa 30 minutes from Table Mountain, the Indian Ocean and the Atlantic Ocean. My family immigrated to Vancouver, Canada where I spent my teen years, met Wendy, and got married. We now live on the Canadian prairies in northern Alberta. I think God has a sense of humour. I'm a follower of Jesus, work in leadership and church development, love my family and walk a lot.4 responses to “Leader Formation: Heart Before Strategy and Skill”
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Thanks Graham, I really appreciate this post. As I read it reflectively what stood out to me was replacing busyness with belonging. I realize am I a better teammate then a friend, accomplishing something together, rather than just being together. What advice would you have if I was in one of your workshops? What’s next as I seek to be more of a collaborative leader?
Great post, Graham. Could you please flesh out a bit more this connection between “a susceptibility of reenactment” from unhealed trauma (Rowe & Wise Rowe), and front-stage/back-stage dynamics or the defended ego from Walker?
Graham, your post speaks to the heart of leadership. What I particularly appreciated is your comment that inviting God and trusted others into leadership with the leader to help that person heal from leadership trauma, rather than stepping away. Do you think most churches recognize when a leader is operating from a trauma response, and would they have the resources to support their leaders in seeking healing?
Graham,
I am glad your workshop went well and affirms the hard work you have done. I like the idea of a theology of imperfection. I like how Walkers says “You are not as successful as you think you are—but you cannot be as unsuccessful as you fear. “[p. 107]. I know of churches that promote the idea of there being no perfect people. How often does that message really get preached from the pulpit, that it is okay and part of being human to mess up? Especially when Matt 5:48 encourages us to be perfect like God. Does the average preacher model this, admit their shortcomings. Why do we expect our pastors and their families to be perfect.
Just questions I have as I reflect on your idea of a theology of imperfection.