Lessons in Forgiveness: Mandela, Tutu, Bonhoeffer, Martin Luther King Jr., and Jesus
The parable of the Prodigal Son is a well-known demonstration of God’s radical forgiveness. This father–son story charts the course of the son’s greed, his self-reflection, and eventual shame and repentance. Yet the father, mirroring our heavenly Father, runs to him with extended arms, offering unconditional love and restoration.[1] In this story, forgiveness is generous, healing, and life-giving.
As I prepare for the final Advance of my doctoral journey in Cape Town, South Africa, I am reflecting deeply on forgiveness. After nearly half a century of apartheid, South Africa’s path toward peace was led by Nelson Mandela, Desmond Tutu, and thousands of ordinary citizens. This army of normal people had suffered significant losses, yet they opted to exchange bitterness and anger for peace and unity. Their choices were courageous. Staring directly into the face of injustice and to forgive is an intentional act of defiance against hatred. They refused to let their painful past dictate the opportunities in their future. It was nothing less than a miraculous, monumental shift in the emotional posture of an entire nation.
By stark contrast, America today seems trapped in a death spiral of unforgiveness. We hold animosity toward one another, especially those whose beliefs differ from our own, toward marginalized populations and communities, and even toward the wider world. From a global lens, we are increasingly defined by our suspicion, outrage, and the assumption of bad motives.[2] The results are devastating. With more than 300 mass shootings in 2025, our inability to forgive is literally destroying us.[3] Violence is the fruit of unresolved anger, resentment, and fear. What we see in America are the external symptoms that are rooted deep inside the heart’s soil of unforgiveness.
Why do people find forgiveness so difficult? Perhaps it feels too much like giving up control; it feels risky and without accountability.[4] Yet, as Jesus taught and modeled, forgiveness does not excuse injustice; it simply frees us from its grip.[5]
Nelson Mandela’s life is a remarkable case study. After 27 years in prison, he held no bitterness. Instead, he was released with the determination to build a new South Africa grounded in love and patience. He often said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”[6] Forgiveness, for him, was not a gesture but a real necessity for the very survival of his nation, what Patti Waldmeir called a political miracle[7] and Alec Russell described as a fragile but extraordinary experiment in grace.[8]
However, both writers also shared that reconciliation was not easy and not without mistakes. Waldmeir notes in Anatomy of a Miracle that forgiveness came at a high cost, and many apartheid victims still have not received any justice or closure. In After Mandela, Russell describes the following years as complex and fragile, especially after South Africa’s leading moral authority faded. Together, these authors recognize that lasting transformative forgiveness must be continually renewed through truth, accountability, and shared responsibility, an important lesson for Americans today.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, incarcerated and eventually executed for his resistance to Nazi fascism, also gained a deep understanding of forgiveness. In his Letters & Papers from Prison, he journaled about the costliness of grace,[9] the kind of forgiveness that does not minimize evil but confronts it with love strong enough to overcome hate.
Martin Luther King Jr. conveyed this same sentiment across America. He insisted that forgiveness was essential to the civil rights movement, famously declaring that “Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”[10] He recognized that forgiveness was a powerful force capable of reshaping communities, breaking cycles of violence, and restoring dignity to the people.
In the middle of all these old and new conflicts is Jesus. Hanging on the cross, enduring tremendous suffering and injustice, He prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”[11]
What does this mean for us as Christians today? For followers of Jesus, forgiveness is not optional. It is not a weakness, but rather a strength because it is the Lord’s strength. Forgiveness is the liberation received through the Holy Spirit, which gives us the ability to release anger and vengeance and to live with the assurance that reconciliation is not only possible, it’s what Jesus calls for us to do.
In the Prodigal Son, forgiveness is described as grace given for free. In South Africa, Mandela proved that forgiveness could transform a nation. And leaders like Tutu, Bonhoeffer, King, and Jesus show us that forgiveness is not an abstract concept. It lives inside each of us! Perhaps the real question is not whether forgiveness is possible, but whether we have the courage to build bridges of hope through forgiveness and grace. It’s a bold choice, one that is ours to make.
[1] MacArthur, John F. The Prodigal Son: An Astonishing Study of the Parable Jesus Told to Unveil God’s Grace for You. Nashville: Thomas Nelson Incorporated, 2008.
[2] “Misinformation Exploits Outrage to Spread Online, New Northwestern Study Suggests.” Accessed September 17, 2025. https://news.northwestern.edu/stories/2024/11/misinformation-exploits-outrage-to-spread-online-new-northwestern-study-suggests.
[3] “Mass Shootings in 2025 | Gun Violence Archive.” Accessed September 17, 2025. https://www.gunviolencearchive.org/reports/mass-shooting.
[4] “Why Is It so Easy to Hold a Grudge?” Mayo Clinic. Accessed September 17, 2025. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692.
[5] “Forgiveness | Psychology Today.” Psychology Today. Accessed September 17, 2025. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/forgiveness.
[6] Archives, L. A. Times. “Nelson Mandela Transformed Himself and Then His Nation.” Los Angeles Times. Last modified December 6, 2013. Accessed September 17, 2025. https://www.latimes.com/opinion/topoftheticket/la-xpm-2013-dec-06-la-na-tt-nelson-mandela-20131206-story.html.
[7] Waldmeir, Patti. Anatomy of a Miracle: The End of Apartheid and the Birth of the New South Africa. 1st ed. New York: W.W. Norton & Co, 1997.
[8] Russell, Alec, ed. After Mandela: The Battle for the Soul of South Africa. London: Windmill books, 2010.
[9] Bonhoeffer, Dietrich. Letters and Papers from Prison. Edited by Eberhard Bethge. [First American] enlarged edition. New York: Macmillan, 1972.
[10] King, Martin Luther, and Coretta Scott King. Strength to Love. Fortress Press gift edition. Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 2010.
[11] “Bible Gateway Passage: Luke 23:34 – English Standard Version.” Bible Gateway. Accessed September 17, 2025. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2023%3A34&version=ESV.
About the Author
Jennifer Eckert
Operations and fundraising director, people connector, believer in second chances, fights poverty, supports justice reform, lives a life integrated with Matthew 25.5 responses to “Lessons in Forgiveness: Mandela, Tutu, Bonhoeffer, Martin Luther King Jr., and Jesus”
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Hey Jennifer,
This is a great post—thank you. I appreciated how you highlighted the parable of the Prodigal Son and the many figures in history who have modeled forgiveness. Given your work in prisons, I can only imagine you’ve heard some sobering stories. I wonder whether you’ve ever encountered a particularly impactful story of forgiveness—either from a person who was imprisoned or from someone who was harmed? I’d be grateful to hear what stayed with you.
Hi Jennifer,
You emphasize that lasting transformative forgiveness must be continually renewed through truth, accountability, and shared responsibility. How do you find forgiveness and encourage others to do the same when there hasn’t yet been justice or closure?
Jennifer,
Yes, our nation is caught in a rut that we can’t seem to get out of. You write, “America today seems trapped in a death spiral of unforgiveness.” I love this. We saw so much of this over the last week when the immediate response by the Left to Trump lowering the flags for Kirk was, “Yeah, but what about…. {insert issue}.” No doubt the Right does the exact same thing. Neither side is willing to budge and neither side is willing to have a leader who will willingly meet somewhere in the middle and lead our nation in healing.
wow Jennifer what an amazing post. You weave these thoughts together so well and contrast the miracle of south africa with the challenge facing us in America today. Where do we go from here? What would begin to heal our nation?
Jennifer this is such a great article. Thank you for your huge heart and desire for God’s forgiveness to be the way all people meet each other.
And yet, I wonder. The forgiveness shown by Lincoln to the Confederate soldiers and leaders at the end of the Civil War contributed greatly to the ongoing racial and economic strife of the last 150 years. In fact, I have read (don’t ask me where; I’d have to find it, but it’s in multiple credible sources) that the leniency of that time has helped create the divisions of today.
I’m not really asking a question. I’m just ruminating on what it might take for the US to rise up out of the ashes of our historical differences, which we only ever seem to resolve with violence. Well, that’s an exaggeration; we’ve done some things well. But not enough things, and not well enough.