Written by: Linda Mendez on April 24, 2025

During worship time with my sons tonight, we read the story of Adam and Eve, the moment when God gave them a single, clear command: not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. In our Bible storybook, one line stood out: “That mistake, which seemed so small and unimportant at the moment, proved to be a turning point in their lives.” [1]  That sentence echoed in my mind as I recalled the opening of Clear Thinking by Shane Parrish. He writes: “What happens in ordinary moments determines your future.” [2]  The connection between these two ideas, biblical and modern, felt strikingly clear.

Silence has never come naturally to me. As a child, I was a talker, eager to share, quick to respond, and always full of opinions. When my mother recently found my old report cards, they all seemed to say the same thing: “She is a bright student with great potential; if only she could stay quiet long enough to learn the lesson.” Or, “Linda is a natural leader, but she needs to stop talking back and bossing other students.” As a teenager, my mouth often got me in trouble, at school, with friends, and especially at home. My parents used to joke that they could not wait for me to have my children so that I would understand what I put them through. I always responded confidently, “My kids and I will have a great relationship. I will not think they are disrespectful just for sharing their thoughts.”

For years, I laughed along with those memories. But eventually, I began to wonder: Do they still see me that way? And more importantly, am I still that person? Changing something that’s been part of me since childhood has not been easy. Learning to control my tongue, pause, and choose silence over reaction has taken intentional and consistent work.

While reading Clear Thinking, Parrish’s words hit home: it is the small, seemingly insignificant habits that shape who we become and what kind of relationships we have. What feels like a harmless moment, a quick reaction, a careless comment, can become a turning point, just like in the story of Adam and Eve. Parrish argues that when we do not take the time to pause and think, we place ourselves in positions that do not allow us to think clearly, and once we are in those positions, we are forced by circumstances into making decisions we might not have otherwise made. “What many people miss is that ordinary moments determine your position and your position determines your options. Clear thinking is the key to proper positioning, which is what allows you to master your circumstances rather than be mastered by them.” [3]

Shane Parrish identifies four core cognitive defaults that often derail us from thinking clearly, arguing that subconscious mental patterns frequently shape human behavior. The first is the emotion default, which leads us to respond based on feelings rather than facts or logic. The ego default causes defensive reactions when our self-worth or social status feels threatened. Next is the social default, which nudges us to conform to group norms and expectations, often without reflection. Finally, the inertia default reflects our tendency to prefer the familiar; we resist change, form habits easily, and cling to what is comfortable. Becoming aware of these defaults is a crucial step toward clearer thinking, as it allows us to pause and assess whether our actions are rooted in bias or intentional choice. Parrish says, “People who master their defaults get the best real-world results.” [4]

While mastering our internal defaults is essential for personal growth, the environment we place ourselves in is just as influential. Surrounding ourselves with people committed to growth creates a robust foundation for transformation. Those who consistently make better decisions often do so because they are immersed in environments that naturally support and reinforce those behaviors. It is not just about willpower; it is about intentionally shaping your surroundings so that the behaviors you aspire to become second nature.[5]

Over time, we begin to mirror the standards of the people around us; what they tolerate, expect, and strive for subtly becomes the blueprint for our behavior. These standards shape our habits, and our habits shape our outcomes. This is why the environment matters so profoundly, not only in what we do but in who we become. The most effective teachers and leaders understand this truth. They do not settle for mediocrity; they expect more from themselves and others. By setting and upholding higher standards, they inspire those around them to rise beyond what they thought possible, creating a culture rooted in growth, excellence, and meaningful change.[6]

To counteract the mental defaults that often cloud our judgment, Shane Parrish highlights four essential strengths: Self-Accountability, which involves taking ownership of our actions and decisions; Self-Knowledge, the honest understanding of our own strengths, weaknesses, and biases; Self-Control, the ability to regulate emotions and impulses; and Self-Confidence, the trust in our own judgment and capabilities. These qualities serve as anchors, enabling us to think more clearly and respond more effectively in the face of challenges. Parrish reminds us that, no matter the situation, there is always a next step within our control, however small, that can either move us forward or set us back. Even when we cannot solve the entire problem, we can always take action that improves our position for tomorrow. [7] Reflecting on this, I cannot help but wonder: if Adam and Eve had paused to take responsibility, exercised self-control, and owned their decision rather than shifting blame, might their story and ours have unfolded differently?

Parrish emphasizes the importance of designing systems and structures that help counteract our natural cognitive biases. To support clearer thinking, he outlines five key safeguards: Prevention, which involves anticipating problems before they arise and addressing them proactively; Automatic Rules, which are habits or routines intentionally aligned with our goals; Creating Friction, which makes undesirable behaviors harder to carry out; Guardrails, which serve as boundaries to keep us from veering off course; and Perspective Shifts, which encourage regularly stepping back to reassess situations with fresh insight. These tools are not just reactive but proactive measures that help keep our thinking sharp and intentional. By integrating these safeguards into daily life, Parrish believes we can consistently make better choices that align with our long-term goals, steering us away from mental defaults and toward deliberate, goal-driven decision-making. [8]

A helpful way to understand this concept is to picture your mind as a car getting ready for a long road trip. Before setting off, you take time to inspect and tune up your vehicle; checking the brakes, topping off fluids, and ensuring everything is in working order. You know the road ahead is long and unpredictable, so you prepare for anything that might come your way. The journey could include sharp turns, distractions, or even steep cliffs, each representing mental shortcuts, cognitive biases, and impulsive urges that can steer you off course. Taking time to plan and prepare is like installing smart systems into your mental “driving” habits. Instead of simply reacting to every obstacle as it appears, you choose to navigate with intention, reducing stress, staying aligned with your goals, and making wiser decisions throughout the journey.

As I read Shane Parrish’s Clear Thinking, it felt as though he had a front-row seat to my life, watching the moments when my unrecognized defaults shaped decisions I later questioned. His insights illuminated patterns I have long wrestled with, especially the tendency to react impulsively rather than respond thoughtfully. As I continue to grow in faith, relationships, and leadership, I am increasingly aware that I no longer want to be seen through the lens of the little girl who lacked self-control. Stepping out of those old shoes means embracing my strengths and placing intentional safeguards around my life, systems that help shift the internal algorithm I have been operating under. I want to lead from the algorithm crafted by the One who created me, not the one shaped by habit and emotional reflex. Choosing silence rather than reaction is not just about being a better daughter, partner, sister, or leader; it is about creating space to pause, reflect, and truly hear the voice of the One who programmed me with a purpose and a perfect rhythm.

[1] Maxwell, Arthur S. “The Bible Story: Vol. I.” (CA: Pacific Press Publishing Association, 1982) pg. 35

[2] Parrish, Shane. “Clear Thinking.” (NY: Latticework Publishing, 2023) pg. xiii

[3] Parrish, pg. xv

[4] Parrish, pg. 11

[5] Parrish, pg. 36

[6] Parrish, pg. 75-76

[7] Parrish, pg. 4

[8] Parrish, pg. 102-104

About the Author

Linda Mendez