A Shooting Star!
I was about to turn 30 years old. I planned a four-day, three-night whitewater rafting trip over in California, the American River, inviting about 60 of my church members, youth, young adults, and their families. Somehow, I was able to find a spot right next to the river, with a mountain rising on the other side. It was just our group—no one else around.
On Monday, we rafted on smaller waves. On Tuesday, we had a blast hosting an Olympic games tournament among our youth. On Wednesday, we experienced a high-level whitewater rafting adventure. On Thursday, we packed up and drove back home. It was an amazing experience with my youth group that I’ll never forget.
While on this trip, I was very aware that I was about to turn 30. The older I get, the less I care about having big birthday celebrations. But knowing that Jesus was around 30 when He began His ministry made me want to slow down and think about where my life was going. Instead of doing what everyone else does, like throwing a party, I wanted a quiet space with God to reflect on my future. Shane Parrish talks about the “social default” — where everyone thinks alike and no one thinks very much — and I didn’t want that to define my life anymore¹.
In Clear Thinking, Parrish explains that we all have defaults that mess with our thinking: emotion, ego, social, and inertia. To overcome them, we need self-accountability, self-knowledge, self-control, and self-confidence². As I look back, I realize life’s tough seasons built these strengths in me. I didn’t gain clear judgment by accident — it came through challenges that forced me to step up and grow. Just like rafting through rough waters, my faith and character were shaped by the battles, not the easy parts.
Instead of using a regular tent, I had a bivy tent — just the size of my body, lying flat on the ground. What I love about it is that I can lie down and look straight up at the open sky! On the last night of my 29th year, I lay there staring at a sky full of stars. Because we were at a higher elevation, the stars looked even clearer and brighter. It reminded me of something Parrish says — that ordinary moments are what actually shape your future³. This moment felt so simple, but it was turning into something sacred between me and God.
In front of me, two trees framed my view — one on the left, one on the right — creating a perfect window to the stars. All of a sudden, shooting stars started appearing, one after another! It was so special that I started praying, thanking God for my life, my health, my youth group, and for the chance to experience beauty even through life’s toughest moments.
One thing Parrish said really hit me: mistakes give us a choice, either update our ideas or cling to what’s comfortable and wrong⁴. Lying there, I realized I had to let go of old regrets and fears and instead move forward with gratitude and faith. Right before midnight, I asked Jesus to go before me as I turned 30, to help me lead others to Him and use me for His mission. But I also asked for reassurance, a sign that He would be with me.
As soon as I finished praying, I looked up and saw a huge shooting star fly across the sky, right between the two trees. It even slowed down in the middle for a few seconds before speeding up and disappearing! As far as I know, shooting stars don’t slow down, but this one did. It was incredible! It felt like God saying, “I’m here. Keep going.”
That moment connects to another idea Parrish talks about — strategic positioning. He says we should put ourselves in environments that make better decisions easier⁵. I didn’t randomly end up under those stars — I intentionally chose to get away, to be quiet, and to make room for God to speak.
Another thing that stood out to me from Clear Thinking is that if you only surround yourself with average people, you’ll end up living by average standards⁶. And even stronger: “Show me your role models and I’ll show you your future”⁷. Being with my youth group, passionate, kind, and hungry for Jesus, reminds me that who you choose to be around matters. Their energy inspires me to keep raising the bar for myself and for them.
Looking back, I see how the hardest parts of life were actually the ones that made me stronger. They gave me chances to lead, to serve, and to become someone different than who I would have been without them. Parrish also talks about the importance of balancing faith with realism — having the unshakable belief that you’ll succeed, while still confronting the brutal facts of your reality⁸. That balance is something I’m still learning every day.
Life isn’t easy. But even in the middle of the struggle, and even in amazing moments like seeing shooting stars, nothing compares to what Jesus is preparing for us. That hope is the greatest assurance of all: the best is still to come.
Footnotes
- Shane Parrish, Clear Thinking, p. 33.
- Shane, p. 74.
- Shane, p. 14.
- Shane, p. 109.
- Shane
- Shane, p. 78.
- Shane, p. 83.
- Shane, p. 127.
About the Author
Ivan Ostrovsky
6 responses to “A Shooting Star!”
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Great post, Ivan. What a 30th birthday present. That was definitely a Joshua 4 moment in your life, whether or not you piled up 12 stones between the two trees.
You quoted Parrish’s statement about role models. Do you have one in particular that has helped you get to this current spot in your life?
Thanks, Rich! I definitely have some amazing role models in my life. Honestly, at each stage—high school, college, during my master’s program, my youth pastor years, and even now. God has placed incredible people around me. One person who made a huge impact was my boys’ dorm dean in high school. He really set the example for me of what a Christian leader looks like, and I’ll always be grateful for the influence he had on my life.
Ivan,
I love the wilderness experience and the discipline you exercised to take quiet time to sit, lie down, and soak in all the splendor. That was fantastic, and what a way to close out that decade!
The one quote you shared from Parrish stood out to me. If you only surround yourself with average people, you’ll end up living by average standards⁶.
I wholeheartedly agree that we all need to be pushed healthily and purposefully. Based on your team’s composition, where would you need to draw a line if folks were simply “average”? Thinking that a central role of a leader is to help pull others along, where would you see tension here?
I enjoy reading about your adventures, Ivan. They are reminiscent of my hiking and camping days. I seem caught up in life and don’t get to do such activities. For a busy leader, is simply reconnecting with nature (or actively finding quiet spaces) one way to replace distractions from daily life? I’m keen to hear your perspective. It’s also great to read your balanced view on how to handle mistakes that we have made and use them as opportunities to improve.
Ivan,
I hope that you have a running journal of all the trips you have been on and the highlights because they a definitely treasures! I was stuck with the connection you have in your blog between the opportunity we have to ‘update our ideas’ from pg 109 and our role models from pg 83. I am wondering how often we avoid certain role models because their ideas are different then ours and because of that we dismiss them before we even have a chance to be impacted by them?
Ivan,
What a powerful way to step into 30! Honestly, I can’t even remember what I did for my 30th birthday, let alone what I was thinking or feeling. I really appreciated the line you shared: “Shane Parrish talks about the ‘social default’ — where everyone thinks alike and no one thinks very much — and I didn’t want that to define my life anymore.” That hit me.
It’s so easy to let others’ expectations shape us, to become passive in doing the inner work Christ calls us to. If we’re truly to be His hands and feet in the world, we do need to hold ourselves to a higher standard, as you said and seek out others who are striving for the same.
But I also wonder, how do we hold that tension without isolating ourselves or becoming elitist in our mindset? I worry the our church has sometimes fallen into this trap. How do you think Parrish would suggest we stay grounded in humility while still resisting the social default?