Quick to Hear, Slow to Speak
“The woman at the bank would not let us make the transaction because she was Arab. The lady who usually works at the bank is black and always permits me to complete this transaction.” Sadly, in my host country, there is often open discord and discrimination between light-skinned Arabs and dark-skinned African ethnicities. In an effort to manage my biases, I asked a few questions and then reviewed the bank policies. I found that my friend had been allowed to make transactions without the required documentation. The Arab employee working that day was adhering to the bank’s policies, whereas the other employee let certain things slide without following the necessary steps. I aimed to use this situation to raise awareness about unconscious biases. It also prompted me to reflect on my own existing biases. Living cross-culturally, I encounter biases every day—both directed at me and my own unconscious biases toward others.
Pragya Agarwal addresses unconscious biases in her book Sway: Unraveling Unconscious Bias. Unconscious and implicit biases are defined as beliefs that “exist without our conscious knowledge, the ones that manifest themselves in our actions and reactions often without us realizing it, rearing their heads when we least expect it and sometimes taking us by surprise.”[1] Dr. Agarwal has faced many unconscious biases in her lifetime. In her YouTube talk, she shares some of the biases she faces being an Indian woman, an immigrant to England, a woman, a woman “of color,” a woman in a STEM profession, and the first woman appointed to a previously male-exclusive position.[2]
As a foreign, educated, Christian, white woman living in a Muslim, Arab-African, patriarchal society, I have experienced firsthand biases both directed towards me and those of my own subconscious. I resonated with Dr. Agarwal as she addressed the importance of recognizing biases to “[understand] the way we put up walls between ‘us’ and ‘them’ before we even realise we are doing so.” You versus us or us versus them is a common experience for me in my context. For this blog, I will look at the theories presented in Sway as to where these biases come from and strategies to recognize and break the bias cycle in a cross-cultural context.
Firstly, where do these biases come from? Dr. Agarwal introduces three theories psychologists suggest about how implicit biases are formed.
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- Shortcut theory is where the mind looks for patterns and protocols to apply to relieve the mental load of thinking.[3]
- Error management theory is when decisions are biased towards avoiding the worst-case threats or outcomes.[4]
- Artefact theory is when biases are produced by “applying the wrong strategies in the wrong context.”[5]
Our brains try to make sense of our world and protect us from harm through these implicit biases.
What do we, as leaders, do with these biases? Dr. Agarwal gives several strategies for addressing implicit biases. First, we must recognize that we all have biases.[6] Second, we must take time when making decisions to slow down our brains and allow time to identify and process any biases we may have.[7] Third, it is vital to create a safe, nonjudgmental place to talk about biases with those we lead.[8] Lastly, we must give an equal voice to everyone involved because that is when true inclusivity occurs.[9]
Coaching is a way to give the underprivileged an equal voice in my context. In the book Working Deeply: Transforming Lives Through Transformational Coaching, the authors address challenges in cross-cultural coaching. The recommended strategies can also help address implicit biases in cross-cultural situations. These are applicable in both a cross-cultural coaching context and any cross-cultural leadership situation.
Recognizing and addressing unconscious bias is a way we can transform and impact how we lead, coach, and interact in any setting. As I wrestle with the challenges of leading cross-culturally, I am continually challenged to examine my own biases and encourage others to do the same. The mindset “us” versus “them” transpires quickly and unconsciously. If I am honest, I fall into this more often than I would like to admit. Yet, by slowing down, developing curiosity, listening, and creating safe spaces for dialogue, we can begin to break the cycle of bias. As we cultivate leadership that is both self-aware and Christ-centered, we are participating in transformation that reflects the heart of God—one that transcends cultural divides and implicit biases and seeks first the Kingdom of God.
May we strive to live out this call, “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;” James 1:19 ESV.
[1] Pragya Agarwal, Sway: Unravelling Unconscious Bias (London, England: Zed Books, 2021), https://doi.org/10.5040/9781472971364, 14.
[2] Unravelling Unconscious Bias – with Pragya Agarwal, 2020, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vYVOQ5NLog.
[3] Agarwal, Sway, 43.
[4] Ibid, 45-46.
[5] Ibid, 48.
[6] Unravelling Unconscious Bias – with Pragya Agarwal.
[7] Agarwal, Sway, 381.
[8] Ibid, 382.
[9] Ibid, 384.
[10] Robert Barner and Ken Ideus, Working Deeply: Transforming Lives Through Transformational Coaching (Bingley, England: Emerald Publishing, 2017), 68.
[11] Ibid, 69.
[12] Ibid, 71.
About the Author
Kari
Kari is a passionate follower of Jesus. Her journey with Him currently has her living in the Sahara in North Africa. With over a decade of experience as a family nurse practitioner and living cross-culturally, she enjoys being a champion for others. She combines her cross-cultural experience, her health care profession, and her skills in coaching to encourage holistic health and growth. She desires to see each person she encounters walk in fullness of joy, fulfilling their God-designed purpose. “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” Romans 12:12 ESV8 responses to “Quick to Hear, Slow to Speak”
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Hi Kari, I can definitely relate to your experiences and have to admit that I fall into the “us versus them” mindset more often than I’d like. I’m curious—have you been able to recognize when that mindset is creeping in? And if so, what has helped you pause, reset, and re-engage with the culture from a different, more open perspective?
Elysse, I think a big thing that helps me recognize my us vs. them biases is when I hear myself saying a lot of negative things about the “other” group. Acknowledging and confessing this to God helps me pause and reset. Sometimes, I need to spend some deep soul-searching time on this, and other times, it is a quick prayer. I will also try to find positives about “them” and verbalize those. That helps me start the re-engagement process with a better attitude.
Hi Kari, I appreciate your awareness of people in your host country and yourself. Within the circle of your trusted friends who are from your host country, are you able to discuss and process some of the biases you experience or is it taboo to talk about them?
That’s a great question, Diane. Yes, I do have some trusted friends to whom I can ask questions and try to find their perspective on things. There are some taboo subjects (slavery, female circumcision, etc.), but I have friends who are willing to discuss and dialogue with me on those topics. Surprisingly, my friends often see and agree with the same biases that I have. Dialogue helps recognize where these come from and what we can do about them.
Kari, your experience is fascinating! Good for you for stopping to reflect on your own biases.
How have your experiences with bias in your host country shaped your understanding of leadership and inclusivity in cross-cultural contexts?
BTW, I’ve ordered the book you quoted! Thanks!
Hi Debbie, the book is a great resource. I hope it is helpful for you, too. You ask an excellent question.
Watching biases and being a part of the “us” vs “you” phenomenon has helped me see firsthand the misunderstanding and isolation of this mentality. This can be devastating when seen at a high leadership level. These experiences have confirmed the need for leaders to be learners first. If we approach differences with a humble, teachable spirit, I believe that is when biases can be recognized, addressed, and dispelled.
Hi Kari, you and several others have written about needing to slow down to process our biases which can allow us to process our heuristics. One observation I’m making, is that we need to leave margin in our life to do this. I often run so hard and fast that I leave little margin to reflect and leave space to update my heuristics. How do you prioritize this in your life?
Hi Christy, Finding margin is a continual challenge! I am fairly strict about keeping a weekly Sabbath day. On this day, I try to reflect on my week, the lessons God is teaching me, and the areas I need to address. Of course, this week biases came up in my time reflecting with God. Ironically, I was not as disciplined with my Sabbath this week as I usually am, so this issue got lightly brushed over. I physically feel heavy when I choose to not give myself margin to address life’s heavy topics. Thanks for the nudge! I am going to go spend some time processing praying now.