Fuel up with Joy
This may be stating the obvious but throughout our readings over the last couple of semesters, many books have confirmed that leadership is more about the character of the leader rather than the skills that person might have. Early on, reading Leading out of Who You Are, The Undefended Leader, author Simon Walker, D Prof used the example of Jesus’ death on the cross as something that might appear as weakness but in fact was the most powerful act and example in history. This spoke to me. Jesus the leader we follow, try to emulate, and adore led from a stance that did not scream I am a leader while it was happening[1]. In Failure of Nerve, author Edwin Friedman, shared the value of a leader who by knowing oneself does not get caught up in the anxious emotional processes that consume many people and organizations. Being non-anxious is an important part of the leader’s being[2]. As I am working on my NPO the areas that keeps rising to the top are those that speak to the personhood of the leader rather than the skill of the person. This week, Rare Leadership, 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead again confirms that the skills that job applicants dutifully insert on resumes and job applications are not the items that ultimately make them successful. In Rare Leadership, authors Marcus Warner, D Min., and Jim Wilder, PhD. discuss four habits if mastered can help good leaders transition into great ones. These Rare Habits of exceptional leaders are:
R: Remain Relational – Developing deep relationships and belonging
A: Act like yourself – The right side of our brains, is the fast track, creates motivation from the mental interaction when we are in a relationship with someone or group and have a sense of belonging. We seek our Identity to be connected to the identity of the group[3]
R: Return to Joy – Being glad to be together, but more on this later.
E: Endure Hardships Well – Using hard times to bring us together [4]
The four habits are interconnected sometimes playing each role intentionally, or one prominent role over another depending on circumstances. For example, being relational is about belonging which brings joy to the person.
In the rest of this post, I want to focus on the third Habit, Return to Joy. To do this I start with accountability. Most leadership training and discipleship groups have some form of accountability in them; making sure there are checks to confirm what the person says they are doing, actually happens. The concept is that quantifying the results will motivate someone to work harder to succeed. Yet, getting it to work in real time is actually difficult. One of the reasons for this is that the model for accountability is based on fear. Only with success does someone find acceptance within their relational group[5]. However, Warner and Wilder believe that both fear and joy can influence individuals and groups. Yet. joy can make the greatest return and difference. The authors correlate joy to a powerful fuel for leadership.
Making Joy a habit by reflecting on things that bring us joy three times a day for five minutes each time can actually hardwire the effects of joy into the right side of our brains, the fast-track brain system. The brain then creates a mental map of valued relationships and experiences that teach us about our mental identity and can serve in all kinds of situations. In a quick instant, we can choose how to respond rather than react similarly to what is coming toward us[6].
I first considered the concept of joy several years ago when I attended a Youth Ministry Forum where the Rev. Dr. Angela Gorrell was the keynote speaker. She described a time when she was teaching at Yale University on the topic of JOY. What was sadly uncanny was that the joy in her personal life took a dive with a series of three unexpected deaths of close family members within four weeks of each other. Gorrell chronicled the time, wondering how she could teach about joy when she could hardly get out of bed. In her book The Gravity Of Joy[7], she shared her personal experience of navigating the depths of despair that followed and then finding joy in the maximum-security prison where she volunteered[8]. Finding joy did not erase her sadness but allowed her to honor the heartbreak without sacrificing her inner joy.
I have often thought that being in the nonprofit sector caused my leadership to value helping my employees grow to the next level of their profession. I now think that maybe that is not the case. Skills and knowledge are important. Yet the habits that Rare Leadership shared, plus the non-anxious and undefended leaders that Friedman and Walker, and others highlighted that all become part of the human puzzle that make up the leaders.
This week, I am looking forward to introducing joy to my senior staff at our one-day retreat. These dedicated professionals work hard and solve problems daily, with what appears to be seamless effort. Yet I know they can get worn out as well. Finding five minutes several times a day to think about where they see joy in their lives might be one of the nicest gifts I can share with them. It can help them to either start to rewire their brains or strengthen the wiring that already recognizes joy in their lives to make it accessible to them in their work and overall life.
[1]Simon P. Walker, Leading out of Who You Are (Carlisle, UK: Piquant Editions Ltd, 2007), 5.
[2]Edwin H. Friedman, A Failure of Nerve (New York: Church Publishing, 2017), 15.
[3] Marcus Warner, and Jim Wilder, Rare Leadership, 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead (Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers, 2016), 48.
[4] Warner and Wilder, 46.
[5] Warner and Wilder, 45.
[6] Warner and Wilder, 48.
[7] Angela Gorrell, The Gravity of Joy (Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing, 2021).
[8] Angela Gorrell, Plenary Speaker, Flagler College, Youth Ministry Forum, February 2023.
About the Author
Diane Tuttle
8 responses to “Fuel up with Joy”
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Diane,
I like the idea of the five minute approach to finding joy. Have you had the retreat with your staff yet? If so, how did it go? If not, what are you focusing on for your five minutes today?
Hi Adam, Thanks for the question. Yes, we did have the retreat. It was fun to see people describing their joy and light up as they spoke. It was also a way for others on the team to learn something about one another that was nonthreatening. I only gave them a brief background for that day but it will become a part of our monthly meetings, both our 1 on 1 with them and then as a group.
Hi Diane,
How have you personally integrated the four habits of RARE Leadership into your leadership style?
Hi Shela, If I think about it directly, many of the aspects in RARE leadership are things that are important to me and most of the time I operate out of that. I do recognize that when I am very tired or stressed, I have to be more thoughtful to remain there. I don’t know that anyone is always operating at 100% but the awareness is there. Thanks for asking.
Hi Diane, I really appreciate how you emphasized and intentionally practiced joy as a habit with your team.
What brought you joy this week? For me, it was the brilliant blue sky and the beautiful weather—a refreshing change from the usual brown, dusty haze. It felt like a much-needed gift.
Thank you also for referencing Angela Gorrell’s The Gravity of Joy—I’m definitely going to look it up. I’m especially curious about her process—how she found the strength to get out of bed and teach about joy while carrying so much grief.
Hi Diane, I’m so glad to see the results of your five minutes of joy with your staff. Thanks for sharing that in the comments. We so often underestimate what five minutes can do! You wrote, “As I am working on my NPO the areas that keeps rising to the top are those that speak to the personhood of the leader rather than the skill of the person.” In your experience, what will help make a societal shift in filling leadership positions where we look more quickly at the character and personhood of a leader rather than just the skills and charisma of a manager?
Hi Kari, Thanks for that question. I think there is a lot of emphasis placed on what degree someone has or where it comes from. I do think the degree is important. It says that someone had the tenacity to keep working on something to completion – again a mark of a different trait. But, there are great people coming out of state and local colleges who can bring value to businesses. I haven’t answered your question as much as I am processing it and recognizing it is an issue. I think the concern I have is that the skill are needed as well. It isn’t an either or but both skills and personal traits and habits together form the ideal candidates.
Hi Elysse, Thanks for the read. I too find joy most days driving to and from work. The sky seems big and in the mid winter I am treated to the most beautiful sunsets of reds, orange and purples. Thanks for asking.
If you can’t find the book, I am happy to loan it to you, even it is doesn’t happen until we are in SA. or if shipping works that’s an option.