Overwhelming Seasons
Completely overwhelming. As I turned the last page of Leader-smithing, I was overwhelmed. The idea of 52 action items, one for each week of the year, felt daunting.[1] Are leaders really supposed to adopt a new practice for 52 weeks straight? The sheer magnitude of such a task feels insurmountable in my current season.
Much of my response to this week’s reading is strongly influenced by my current reality: single motherhood. This season demands my attention in so many areas – parenting, working, maintaining a home, managing finances, cooking meals, and completing assignments. The idea of adding another structured leadership task each week of the year triggers a flight response in my body that Poole described.[2] My body aches to leave the situation immediately to bring me to a place of safety. Are these practices for becoming a solid leader harmful? Of course not. However, in my current situation, my body can’t tell the difference between the never-ending practices Poole suggests and being chased by a knife-wielding tiger. While these practices are undoubtedly valuable, they feel like an additional burden rather than a pathway to growth at this time.
Finding Faithfulness in the Overwhelm
This tension raises crucial questions: What does faithfulness look like in this season? How do I prioritize my weeks accordingly? Each night, as I walk through the house, ensuring doors are locked and chores are complete, or when I read an extra chapter to avoid falling behind, I feel the weight of responsibility pressing upon me. Adding more to my already full plate seems impossible.
Yet, when I pause to reflect on these questions, I find grace. Lamentations 3:22-23 reminds me that God’s mercies are new every morning. I wake each day not to face an endless list of leadership exercises but to be met by His kindness and provision. In this season, faithfulness might look different from the structured approach Poole outlines—it might look like leaning into God’s grace rather than striving to do more.
“Character is not about doing but about being.”[3]
In this season, rather than focusing on the exhaustive task of implementing weekly leadership habits, I choose to cultivate character. Poole asserts, “Leaders, therefore, need to develop character in general, as well as muscle memory for more specific leadership tasks. This is because strengthening your character will future-proof your craft for the time when something new and unexpected occurs, for which you have no template.”[4]
This resonates deeply. Life, particularly in the context of single parenthood, is filled with unexpected challenges. I may not have the capacity to implement a new leadership strategy every week, but I can commit to being the kind of person who is growing in wisdom, resilience, and integrity. When difficult leadership moments arise, they will not be met with a void but rather with a deeply rooted character that has been cultivated through the trials of this season.
Poole also states, “Virtuous leaders do not wait for an ethical dilemma to present itself for resolution; they bake in daily ethical practice so that such events become humdrum and reflexive, rather than case studies for a future MBA class.”[5]
This principle shifts my perspective. Instead of seeing leadership development as a rigid checklist, I recognize that true growth is embedded in the everyday moments—the way I handle conflict with my child, the integrity with which I complete my work, and the consistency with which I turn to God for strength. Leadership is not about stacking achievements; it is about embodying virtue so deeply that ethical and wise decision-making becomes second nature.
Focus
Poole outlines seventeen ‘Critical Incidents’ that teach leaders essential lessons.[6] By developing templates for these moments, leaders can instinctively navigate complex situations. This approach is both insightful and reassuring. Rather than overwhelming myself with 52 separate tasks, I can focus on recognizing and responding to these critical moments as they arise.
In my current season, this means identifying the most pressing leadership challenges I face—perhaps managing emotional resilience, setting healthy boundaries, or maintaining consistency in my commitments. By focusing on a few foundational areas, I can build strength where it is needed most. Growth does not have to be a relentless pursuit; it can be a steady, intentional process.
Embracing Grace-Filled Leadership
Leadership development, while valuable, should not come at the expense of well-being. Seasons of life vary, and faithfulness looks different in each one. Right now, faithfulness for me is not about checking off every leadership task but about cultivating a heart that is present, discerning, and receptive to God’s grace.
As I navigate this overwhelming season, I am learning that leadership is less about doing and more about becoming. If I can be faithful in the small moments—responding to stress with grace, leading my home with love, and seeking wisdom in difficult decisions—I am growing as a leader in ways that matter most. And that is enough for now.
[1] Eve Poole, Leadersmithing: An Apprenticeship Approach to Making Great Leaders (New York: Bloomsbury Business, 2017), 73.
[2] Poole, 38.
[3] Poole, 49.
[4] Poole, 55.
[5] Poole, 52.
[6] Poole, 10-11.
About the Author
Mika Harry
3 responses to “Overwhelming Seasons”
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This was thought-provoking, Mika.
A few thoughts were tangential. I’m reminded of a saying that you can’t teach character. The internet wants to attribute that idea to Anthony Bourdain, but I think it is more universal. I’m also reminded that you can’t coach height (commonly attributed to Frank Layden), but now I’m in the weeds.
Back to character. I read Poole’s chapter on the topic and copied a few quotes. You highlighted one of them and it struck me differently within your context of an over-subscribed life. The simple phrase, ‘strengthening character’ really stood out from the other words. It is the hard work of exercising what is already within us. Three paragraphs later, you list turning to God for strength as an everyday moment. I read Poole’s book as very programmatic and missed this flash of the obvious.
Skills can be taught (or so Anthony Bourdain once said). “But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’”[1] Your last paragraph is consistent with the wisdom God gave to Samuel.
[1] 1 Samuel 16:7, NLT.
Thanks for your post and vulnerability, Mika!
Something that I keep coming back to in my own places of overwhelm and when I’m struggling to discern a course of action is the story earlier in Samuel when Saul enters into the kingship. I’d imagine it was strange to think of being a king when Israel had never had one before; Saul hadn’t been trained or had a role model, really. He is given instructions by Samuel who then says, “Once these signs are fulfilled, do whatever your hand finds to do, for God is with you” (1 Samuel 10:6, NIV).
I think there is value in trusting that we have been positioned right where God wants us right now, that he is with us…and inviting us to live in the freedom of doing what seems good and right in the moment we’re in as he continues to transform us. He has us and will continue to lead and develop us.
Your reminder that this journey is less about doing and more about becoming is spot on… and your post was a great encouragement to me personally.
Thanks again!
Mika. I hear you! Juggling parenting and work to pay the bills and studies is exhausting, especially when you are on your own. You are amazing.
I agree that leadership development doesn’t have to be a relentless pursuit and actually leading a family, with all the tasks, needs and opportunities, I think is the best place to develop our character – don’t you think? We grow patience, wisdom, kindness, courage, selflessness and without doubt humility. But it’s such a privilege although exhausting and relentless!
Here’s a Brene Brown quote as i find her a role model as someone who cares deeply, loves her kids passionately and leads and influences millions with authenticity, transparency and boldness!
‘Brown is currently working to manage stress in her life by making sure that everything she does is in alignment. She said, sighing, “I’m not great at it. I’m just trying. What I’m doing right now, is trying to get clear about purpose.” She said she is trying to make sure that everything she is doing aligns with her purpose — and to say “no” to those things that do not align with it, although she has been conditioned to say “yes” most often.
She said, “Part of it is my training. I have a bachelor’s, master’s, and PhD in social work. The job is done when human rights are spread across the world, and the world is poverty and disease free. There is a need to say ‘yes’ to everything, including intractable problems.” beyond imagination. I’m examining what work leaves me inspired versus exhausted.’
I think the last line is a helpful thought. I hope it helps you!
Its in: Talking About Success and Stress With Brené Brown.The author of “Daring Greatly” shares insights on leading with courage.