#Social Media #Internet #Technology #Why am I typing this and not discussing it with someone instead?
I was not raised in this country; at age five, my parents moved my older brother and me to Central America. For ten years, we lived in three different countries: Costa Rica, El Salvador, and Honduras. While my cousins and friends in the U.S. were starting to learn about Game Boys, Walkmans, and computers, my brother and I were climbing trees, running, and playing in the rain. At the time, we resented our parents for tearing us away from our family, and we did not see or understand the value of the life they were exposing us and raising us in. In all three countries, we lived on closed university campuses, so after we were done with school, we would walk home with our friends, do our homework, and then go back out to play with those same friends. With little to do, the campus was our playground; we played cops and robbers. When it rained, we took out our slip-and-slide that we had been sent from a family member and played for hours sliding in the rain, getting muddy and wet without a care in the world. In one of our schools, we had a lake behind the school. We spent all day at the lake in the summer, playing and swimming. If we finished our homework early, we would play soccer or head to a friend’s house to hang out. Everyone on campus knew us, knew our parents, and we felt protected at all times; we only came home to sleep and eat.
When we returned to the U.S., I was 15 and entering High school; I went from being able to go anywhere to feeling restricted and confined. My parents now drove me to school and picked me up; I went to a fairly wealthy school (even though my parents weren’t) where kids had cars and cellphones and went to lunch together off campus, and I once again resented my parents for bringing me back to a culture I could not identify with. I was 18 when I finally purchased myself a cellphone; I could only use one after 9 pm because my plan had very limited minutes, and I could only text on nights and weekends. At 19, with my parent’s help, I purchased my first vehicle; I was a freshman in college, working two jobs and going to school full-time. Now, I have a 13-year-old who is telling me which car he wants when he turns 16 and complaining because his school has banned phones at school.
Growing up is hard. Hormones are changing, and information is being thrown at you from different places: school, home, church, friends, etc. We are trying to decide who we will be in this big world and what our place will be, and if that doesn’t seem like enough pressure, somewhere along the lines, we thought adding the internet and surrounding our lives with technology was a great idea.
In his book Technopoly: The Surrender of Culture to Technology, Neil Postman examines the profound impact of technology on society; he argues that we have transitioned from a tool-using culture to a “technopoly,” a society where technology dominates every aspect of our lives. A tool-using culture is a social group that is in possession of a powerful tool but retains collective control over when and how such a tool is used. “But within a technopoly, the tool becomes the master. It takes on a life of its own, steamrolling over many prior moral convictions or constraints.”[1] As I read this, I felt the urge to shut my son’s computer and take his phone away, and then I remembered he was doing homework on said computer and using his phone as a calculator. So, how do we raise kids in a world where our moral convictions are heavily influenced by technology, but we are also forced to utilize it?
Growing up, it was easy to block out the world because you could not access it; your world consisted of those near you. If your friend had a Barbie that you wanted, you asked her to play with you. If she had a haircut or top you liked, you asked your mom if you could have something similar, but if the answer were no, you would not feel like an outsider. It was so much easier to keep your individuality. Social media changed everything for us; it exposed us to the world. While it allowed us to connect with people and receive information quickly, it also gave people the power to alter the way they saw and thought of themselves.
In his article “Why the Past 10 Years of American Life Have Been Uniquely Stupid,” Jonathan Haidt argues that the rise of social media platforms has significantly altered public discourse, leading to increased polarization and the spread of misinformation. He notes that these platforms often prioritize sensational content, undermining rational debate.[2] I am typing this here, wondering if the articles we read this week have misinformed us and if we are being fed content that resonates with someone with an agenda. Something created to help our society has become a tool many of us fear and do not trust. What is genuine and honest, and what has been curated to capture our attention and change our ideologies?
I could not complete this degree without the internet, social media, AI, and other platforms, so I am thankful for it. However, as I read article after article for this week’s assignment, I walked away feeling conflicted and a bit frustrated. It seems hypocritical for us to be concerned about this era of technology, but then we depend on and push it on people for so many things. We do school online, research, papers, etc, but at the same time, we are being told we are exposing ourselves and our children to too much too quickly. How do we stop or slow it down?
The nature of this assignment was not to cause all these conflicting feelings, or perhaps it was, but what I am choosing to take away from what I read this week is that knowledge is power. How we choose to use that knowledge and that power is what matters. In their article “The Dark Psychology of Social Networks: Why it Feels like Everything is Going Haywire,” Haidt and Rose-Stockwell discuss how our founding fathers designed the U.S. Constitution as an exercise in intelligent design. They knew that most previous democracies had been unstable and short-lived. “But they were excellent psychologists, and they strove to create institutions and procedures that would work with human nature to resist the forces that had torn apart so many other attempts at self-governance.” [3]
Haidt and Rose-Stockwell explain that James Madison, in his concern of this nation being torn apart, included in the Constitution mechanisms to slow things down, let passions cool, and encourage reflection and deliberation. According to the authors, Madison’s design has proved durable; “But what would happen to American democracy if, one day in the early 21st century, a technology appeared that over the course of a decade changed several fundamental parameters of social and political life?” [4]
I wonder what the thoughts of our founding fathers would be seeing our nation in the condition that it is in. How would they react, having lived through this last election and weeks where social media has been used as a platform and tool to divide the American people rather than unite them? And I can’t help but think what Christ would think seeing His people so divided, full of hatred and distrust, rather than coming together to unite in love.
If knowledge is power, we have learned that while the internet and technology can be dangerous, they can do great things if used correctly. Next time we grab our phones and start scrolling, looking for funny puppy videos or how to make sourdough bread, I encourage us to use the power we have acquired through our readings and use those platforms for good. Ask yourself: How would Jesus use social media?
[1] Smyth, Nicolas. Nicholas Smyth, “Smash The Technopoly!”, March 9, 2023, https://www.afterbabel.com/p/smash-the-technopoly?r=2cgdda&utm_medium=email.
[2] Jonathan Haidt. “Why the Past 10 Years of American Life Have Been Uniquely Stupid” The Atlantic, October 10, 2025.https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2022/05/social-media-democracy-trust-babel/629369/
[3] Haidt, Jonathan and Tobias Rose-Stockwell. “The Dark Psychology of Social Networks: Why it feels like everything is going haywire,” The Atlantic, December 2019, https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/12/social-media-democracy/600763/
[4] Haidt, Jonathan and Tobias Rose-Stockwell. “The Dark Psychology of Social Networks: Why it feels like everything is going haywire,” The Atlantic, December 2019, https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/12/social-media-democracy/600763/
About the Author
Linda Mendez
12 responses to “#Social Media #Internet #Technology #Why am I typing this and not discussing it with someone instead?”
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Linda –
Growing up with that level of freedom sounds wonderful! (I can relate a bit–early years and summers with my grandparents on their little “ranch” meant lots of roaming and almost no technology.)
So much of the struggle I perceive in adolescence today is the constant pressure to perform that kids seem to feel. (We’re in the throes of middle school with our two kids, one of whom also seems to think cars magically appear at 16.) Sure, some of this is the nature of this stage of development… but it’s magnified by the stuff we read about this week and more. My wife and I have been processing how to create spaces of sacred invitation in the midst of pressure for our kids–invitation to *be* and to explore. I’m curious if you’ve found ways of holding that space for your own kids, and what role technology/virtual connectdess will (or won’t!) play.
Thanks for your post!
Jeremy,
my husband and I really struggled with the idea of giving our teen a phone. We were very afraid of what would happen once we out that device in his hands. Once we made the decision to give him a phone once he entered Jr. High we sat down and set rules for usage and parameters on the phone itself; no access to social media, he cant download things without our permission, apps not working after a certain hour at night and no phones in rooms at night. We also dont allow phones in car rides, he must be present and engage with us and his brother, same at dinner. Those are things we are doing to encourage our teen to not be so dependent son the device but it’s hard when school issues him a laptop and all his homework has to be done through it. As I read these articles, he sat next to me doing homework himself and I started reading parts of the stats I was learning. I want him to understand that the limits we place on him are not because we dont trust him but because ultimately they will help him grow as an individual. We also dont allow phones at church. As he gets older, we know we will have to loosen the “reigns” but our hope and prayer is that he will be a bit more mature and we will have continued to have open conversations about the dangers of media and why its important to approach it with respect and cautiousness.
Linda, I have a question from your post. I liked this line:
It seems hypocritical for us to be concerned about this era of technology, but then we depend on and push it on people for so many things.
My question is, is how would a redeemed technology look?
Robert,
I feel that depending on who its applying to, a redeemed technology will look differently. As parents, it’s our job to regulate technology for our children and find that balance but for us as adults, I feel it’s a bit harder. We can’t goo back, the train has left the station, its up to full speed and not slowing down; getting off the train isn’t an option, BUT I do believe that we can choose how to make use of our time on the train. I think that as believers, we should approach technology with the some question we sometimes ask ourselves in other circumstances: What would Jesus do? Would He spend this much time online, would he write or post those things? would He be searching for those things?
Just because the greater of society utilizes technology in certain ways, doesnt mean we have to as well, our lease of inspection always has to be through Jesus’ lens.
Linda, your post reminds me of a much simpler life that I enjoyed as a kid in our neighborhood. Kids ran around with squirt guns, rode bikes, played kick-the-can (yes!), and built backyard treehouses.
You ask how the Founding Fathers would react, having a view of today where social media has been used as a platform and tool to divide the American people rather than unite them? What would Christ think seeing such hatred and division? It is heartbreaking. Instead of individuals lending a hand, they take a hand. They lean in with a posture of defensiveness and aggressiveness rather than friendliness. Regarding the questions above, do you think the divisions were that different 50 years ago, or did social media give a pathway for those divisions to be painted in quicker, broader brush strokes and much more vibrant colors for all to see?
Michael,
I am sure divisions existed and difference of opinions were common, but I feel social media has made it easier for people to express themselves in negative ways and be mean because there aren’t any consequences to the evil we chose to spread. If you disagreed with someone 50 years ago or more, you had to sort that out face to face, so that forced you to measure your words and perhaps think about what you said; now a days, you can type what you want, knowing they dont know where you live, who you are or how to find you. You can say it, have it be as rude and nasty as you want and then block people when they share a thought you dont agree with. The intimate dynamic of relationships and conversations have forever been altered due to social media.
You have a consistent balance here of the interactions and play of the non technologically bound life and the benefits of connection through technology. They can often feel in conflict, especially since our society has moved in a direction where we must use technology for most of life. In terms of addiction, we cannot be sober from media though it is the source of our addiction. The alcoholic can choose to never use alcohol again, but we cannot abstain from use of media for the media addict. If we do we are cut off from how society has come to function. How do we find that balance of doing what we must and not being bound by it?
Jess,
I wish I had an answer! The only answer I can give you that I also suggest in my blog is approaching technology and social media with the thought of: What Jesus do with this power, platform? Is this how He would use his time? His words? You’re right, we cannot completely abstain from it, so we have to find healthy ways to make peace with it. I am still trying to figure that out, if you figure it out, please share, perhaps over a zoom call lol
Linda, this was so timley for me. I just returned last night from 8 days in Honduras. It felt as though I was there for a month. My wife and I have spent quite a bit of time in Costa Rica and Ecuador. The hard truth we realized on the car ride from the airport was that we just like who we are better there. We feel more like ourselves there. We would love to raise our daughter there.
While most folks I saw on this trip had smartphones, they were not glued to them. There was the occasional picture but the phones were not an appendage. I disconnected alongside the cultural support.
What do think are the differences that allow for less of an addictive and insidious impact in central America?
Christian,
In my experience, I believe the lack and resources and education lend themselves to people in Central America doing things differently. Not as many people have the resources to purchase cellphones or have internet in their homes so it forces people to remain connected to each other. I also feel that people in Central America value their culture, where they came from, the stories they heard far more than we do here in the U.S. so that lends itself for them to see and treat the land differently than we do. There is great value in that but also some concern because then you have other situations that they are behind in that so affect every day life, what kids are exposed at a younger age, etc. No place will ever be perfect to raise kids, we as parents do the best we can with the information we have.
Linda,
I completely forgot that Game Boys even existed! I still remember how obsessed I was with the handheld games we played in the ’90s. That was probably the last generation that truly spent most of their time outside climbing trees, at least in the U.S. I can relate to you since I also wasn’t raised in America. Yet, your story is amazing; despite having a tough childhood, it still seems filled with adventure and fun experiences. When you moved to the U.S., life sounds like it became more convenient, as you finally had a ride to school. Do you think your hardships have only made you stronger and more aware of people’s needs? Or do you wish you had an easier childhood with cellphones and modern computers?
Ivan,
In my experience, my return to the U.S didnt make life more convenient. I thought it would but in so many aspects it didn’t. Being close to school and being able to walk and be out and share that experience with friends was something I treasured. Sitting in traffic and stressing about getting my parents out the door to get to school on time wasnt a great feeling. I do feel my hardships made me who I am, but a lot of hardships came in this country rather than in Central America. For a really long time I resented my parents for taking us away from this country and when I returned, I became so aware of what I had actually lost by returning.