A Journey of Learning and Unlearning
As a 10-year-old, I loved reading Tolkien’s works and the adventures in The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I was mesmerized by the stories of the mythological creatures in Middle Earth and amazed at how the heroes of the stories presented themselves in the small, unassuming figure of a Hobbit.
In The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell outlines the standard path of the mythological adventure of the hero as a magnification of the formula represented in the rites of passage: separation – initiation – return.[1] The hero dies but is reborn as an eternal man and returns in a transfigured state.[2] I have participated in many journeys throughout my life. Some might be considered more remarkable than others, but all have provided essential meaning and personal character development to various degrees. However, one leg of my life journey carried me to an unexpected destination, transformed me, and I returned broken but wiser.
Entering Amazon
Just over fifteen ago, I was called into an adventure and an opportunity for a new vocation.[3] After five years of leading a mid-sized, privately owned business for a family, it was time to move on. A set of circumstances raised questions about the business’s future and my role within that framework. After receiving guidance and much prayer, I sought new opportunities. It wasn’t until later that I received a response to a posting from an independent recruiter for Amazon.com. After five additional phone interviews, I flew to their headquarters for the next phase of face-to-face interviews with the senior leadership team.
I met separately with senior leaders and then transitioned to my interview with the VP of HR for North American Operations. This final interview was the critical gate. I felt extremely confident in the dialogues leading up to that moment. Midway through that day, he decided we should take a walk to the local market and have the interview over lunch. After learning a bit from each other backgrounds over a few sushi rolls, he cut to the chase.
“Michael, we’ve reviewed your background and all the recommendations from the phone and face-to-face interviews. They look quite positive, and we think you are an excellent candidate for the position. We have final steps to walk through, but all indications are great, and you should hear from us shortly.” I was elated to hear the message. I could enter a leadership role with a new and rapidly growing company. “Before we wrap up here for the day, do you have any questions for me?”
I paused for a second and responded, “Why aren’t you able to promote from within? Typically, wouldn’t you see this talent rise from within the organization in a large publicly traded company? What has your success rate been in making this shift?”
I was weighing the alternatives but looking to understand a motivation to proceed further in this call.[4] I was excited by his earlier statement and wasn’t truly focused on his response. “Well, Michael, we are batting ZERO with internal candidates so far. So, we decided to search outside.” I was overconfident that I would not become another statistic. His comments should have raised a few flags and foreshadowed future events.
My initial entry went well, but it wasn’t long before I noticed shifts. There were moments when I could have made decisions that aligned with the status quo, but I refused. Some decisions began to test my true character, making the overall work environment increasingly difficult to navigate. I struggled.
In one exchange with my leader, I was told, “You need to go in with a baseball bat and crack some skulls!”
I sarcastically replied, “I’m not quite sure that’s effective leadership. It sounds more like abuse.” My response was not appreciated.
Return out of Amazon
My journey was much shorter than anticipated, and I became another statistic despite setting numerous global operational records. My overall experience included positive and negative learning, which I carry with me today. However, the job was all-encompassing around the clock and deteriorated me, my spirit, and my family. As a leader, I felt incredibly misaligned with the culture despite others saying that they appreciated my leadership style. It was a period when my dreams died, and part of me died with them.
Nearing my final departure, I had an email exchange with an industrial engineer. I told him I appreciated his effort and focus on an operational project and how it impacted our entire site by simplifying work for most of our team. He responded by first thanking me and then sharing that he used to have time to send out emails thanking others, but there was not enough time to do that now. As our primary process leader, he stated there was no time to invest in others, even through a short email. My comeback was simple. I told him that he ultimately decides how he uses his time, and he was missing out on limitless opportunities by not acknowledging others. That was one of my final memories prior to the exit door.
My recovery and healing time took months. I had been stripped raw and needed to regain my footing and remind myself who I was as an individual, husband, and father.
Heroes show up differently in people’s lives and can leave everlasting marks. Years later, I still receive updates from those team members thanking me for my leadership and how it made a difference in their careers. As a leader, you can never underestimate your voice, actions, or the overall effect of being alongside others. That might be the one voice they need, which they consider heroic.
[1] Joseph Campbell, The Hero With A Thousand Faces, (Novato, CA: New World Library, 2008) 23.
[2] Campbell 15.
[3] Campbell, 28.
[4] Campbell, 28.
About the Author
Michael Hansen
12 responses to “A Journey of Learning and Unlearning”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Hi Mike,
Thank you for trusting us with this story. I understand the hopefulness you had after such an extensive interviewing process, only to find they wanted you to fit into an unhealthy culture. The challenges launched you to be a character leader, courageously adding value to the culture. I see how this was impactful and incredibly challenging for you. What is one learning from this experience that you’d like to share with others?
Judith, when I reflect on that experience, one key lesson is to be true to yourself and not waver. Subtle changes that are hardly noticeable can lead to an erosion of character. Aligned with that would be the recognition that it takes an insurmountable amount of energy to change a culture, and even that might fail to produce results. Part of that was my inability to recognize that as part of the journey, but it is also tied back to the fact for most instances, it was about efficiencies and $ and those forces were paramount to the overall operation.
I had a recent experience that was all about character and I chose to exit. I also believe in character decisions and character living. Thank you for sharing Mike.
I have heard of Amazon‘s reputation for poor treatment of their employees. It seems Amazon could be the fierce beast in your career myth. I’m sure you would have loved to slay that monster. The myth has often been a tale that reveals a person’s or society’s psychology and spirituality. Your journey at Amazon probably produced many trials to your mental and emotional state. Kudos to you for seeing the toll it was taking on you and your family and walking away. That feels like a triumph. You seem to have had quite an influence on those that you led, shown by their continued relationship and gratitude. What do you think you did in your leadership that cultivated such a response?
Jess, when I reflect on these moments, my understanding of the individual leaders/managers made the ultimate difference. Some of these relationships still work at Amazon, and the others have collectively moved on. I attempted to take a more human approach to the daily demands and took solid notes about their interests both inside and outside the site. I purchased each of them a gift and presented a handwritten card for Christmas. It was for 30+ managers, and they were stunned (a) to receive a gift and (b) have it tied to their interests – for example, motorcycles, horseback riding, and aerospace; I think they understood that despite all the other influences that someone was listening to them.
Thanks for sharing this, Mike. Organization culture is my focus of study and you have just clarified “why” its so important. The work environment you were in had ripple effects beyond the daily work agenda. Quite profound to think about the impact of workplace culture. From your experience, do you think sustained good leadership practices like listening and encouraging others can change organization culture from bad to good?
Alex, portions of our projects could be closely aligned. You ask a great question about organizational change. I often circle back to the real need for change and overall buy-in from the leaders, and this might include the C-suite. It is incredibly tough when the culture is pushed down, and the company was highly successful in financial growth despite being poor with people. Why is there a cause for change? I have repeatedly referred to John Kotter’s 8 steps of change. In many instances, I have created or built a cause for change to catalyze movement if there wasn’t one looming in front of us.
Thank you for this insight Mike. I’ll reflect on how we can use Kotter’s 8 steps to trigger meaningful change.
Thanks, Mike.
I’m still processing the monomyth. Campbell has moved the needle by recognizing the pattern that makes for a good story. Clearly there are exceptions and limitations. Our friend Robert has been more direct in dismissing a wide application of Campbell. I appreciate his voice.
Your Amazon journey finishes the cycle with his final stage of return. Your heart for the common man employee is a clear answer to Campbell’s question of, “What, now, is the result of the miraculous passage and return?” (Campbell, 224) I don’t see much in Initiation steps 5 or 6, the latter “Ultimate Boon” that left me with images of Keanu Reeves effortlessly fighting his way through the (original) matrix. Contrary to the formula, great understanding can come through abandonment of an adventure headed in the wrong direction.
With time, did you come away with positive learnings? Or are the overwhelming takeaways related to how not to lead?
Rich,
I didn’t exhibit a high level of maturity while in the cave, but that would have only delayed the inevitable outcome. I enjoyed the daily process and data management, which had some positive aspects. The continued business refinement, iterative nature, and willingness to ask hard questions were also purposeful. The nature of the business cycles and scalability around peak season reminded me of my aviation operational background in the service. I have carried those further along in my career as benchmarks for excellence. The significant gap was the crossover into interactions with team members and how people were treated. That absence made me very aware of how poor that experience was for the teams.
Michael,
While reading your post, I found myself hoping for two things: 1. that I would have the opportunity to learn from a leader like you, and 2. that I would become a leader like you. You are right—we choose what we do with our time. And like a hero, you chose to invest in people. I’m curious, with this program, what are some choices you are making with your limited time?
Mika,
I appreciate your feedback and kind words. One of my primary focuses while in this program is maintaining appropriate self-care through exercise. As a younger person, I might have been able to bypass this step, but I noticed today that skipping too many back-to-back days directly affects my overall demeanor and thought process. I imagine this is different for each individual, but just 30-45 minutes is a game changer. On one weekend day, I will go out for longer distances carrying my backpack loaded with gear. Usually, there are zero cars or individuals on the road, and today, I found myself praying for someone in our cohort along the way. Thank you for asking.