Releasing Control
“Where we see ordinary people, God sees a rich deposit of gold waiting to be brought forth.” Camacho [1]
I enjoy coaching and mentoring. I have had several wonderful people generously share their thoughts, wisdom, and experiences with me. They had helped me seek the Lord in discovering the gold in me, and I wish to do the same for others. After reading Camacho’s Mining for Gold, I couldn’t help but think of all these people: those who have invested in me and those in whom I have invested. People with stories, families, dreams, and so many with whom we have mutually shared how the Lord has grown and guided us.
During every Mercy Ships mission to a country, I would take on a few young professionals for coaching, sharing my thoughts on life, faith, work, and the integration of these things. Frank was one of those I committed to mentoring while in Sierra Leone.
Frank is in his late 20s and has lived in Sierra Leone all his life. He has studied accounting for an undergraduate degree, but jobs are tough to come by in his home nation, where the proportion of the working population is estimated to be 52% [2].
Frank was one of the local staff who supported Mercy Ships’ mission when it was in service. Knowing that the ship’s mission would eventually end, he wisely looked to the future. When jobs are scarce, many people rely on entrepreneurial activities, such as vending goods and services on the street. Frank considered this an option, but his heart was on getting an accounting job.
We met in the ship’s cafe, and Frank shared his hopes and dreams with me. We prayed together, and I asked him a few more questions. After sharing that he longed to find an accounting job, he asked me what advice I had and what skills he could be working on to stand out in the crowd who would undoubtedly apply for such a prize as a stable job.
I told Frank that if he wanted to develop his accountancy abilities, he would need to find someone with that specific skill set to mentor him on the practicalities, but I would be happy to share my advice on how to stand out in a crowd and show he was ready for the job. “What do I need to show?” Frank asked me. “Well, when hiring people, there are a few key things I look for,” I respond. “They need to have the right skills, sure, but those are just a matter of time if someone is willing and able to learn. The thing that is rare and will cause you to stand out is your character. I won’t hire an accountant I cannot trust with money. Your integrity is your reputation. When applying for the job, show them you are reliable.” We then prayed together, Frank praying that the Lord would guide him in his desire to be trustworthy.
Some months later, after I had left Sierra Leone, Frank sent me a message asking me to pray for him as he applied for an accounting job. A few days later, he messaged me again, letting me know he had gotten the job. I was thrilled for him—he had beaten the odds and found secure employment. My wise guidance and counsel had worked!
Until it didn’t. A few months into his new job, I received another message from Frank informing me that he had been fired for using company funds improperly. He had lost his reputation for reliability and integrity, so he lost the job. I was disappointed for him, his employer, and myself. Could I have guided him differently? Had I failed him in my coaching?
I came to terms with the fact that I had given him the best advice I could. If anything, his dismissal was proof that I was right–integrity is everything. But I didn’t want to be right. I wanted Frank to win, to become all God had made him to be, and he hadn’t.
For me, the beauty of Camacho’s method is that it releases work to the Holy Spirit to speak to the individual in a way that we cannot [3]. How that individual responds is between them. We may coach, but we cannot control. This is why we need the Holy Spirit.
I still pray for Frank whenever I think of him, asking that God would speak to him in a way I cannot, especially being so far away. Camacho writes, “one nugget of wisdom a leader gets from God is worth ten thousand words of wisdom from me” [4]. That same God says to us in Proverbs 1:33, “whoever listens to me will dwell secure and will be at ease, without dread of disaster.” [5].
Bibliography
[1] Camacho, Tom. Mining for Gold: Developing Kingdom Leaders through Coaching. First published. Nottingham: IVP, 2019, 9
[2] Statista. “Socioeconomic Indicators – Sierra Leone | Market Forecast.” Accessed January 29, 2025. https://fr.statista.com/outlook/co/socioeconomic-indicators/sierra-leone.
[3] Camacho, 91
[4] Camacho, 61
[5] The Holy Bible: English Standard Version, Containing the Old and New Testaments. New classic reference ed., ESV text ed., 2011. Wheaton, Ill: Crossway, 2011.
About the Author
Joff Williams
I help communities and people discover their identity and purpose by discovering the identity and intent of their Creator. I am a follower of Jesus, husband, father, son, sibling, music nerd, recovering IT nerd, just an all-around nerd nerd, and mediocre but happy runner. My work involves leading and loving the communities of Mercy Ships, an international hospital ship mission deeply rooted in the love of Jesus.9 responses to “Releasing Control”
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“Until it didn’t.” That hangs in the mist, doesn’t it?
My uncle was a small business owner. He once said that he wouldn’t hire someone that hadn’t already been fired. His stated reason was that people learn big lessons through mistakes and he didn’t want to be the one paying for it. I think it also spoke to his heart, that people can thrive when given a second chance.
Your story of Frank reminds me to graciously offer another opportunity. That sounds like something Camacho would write (see page 79).
Rich, can I be a contrarian? I’m all for second chances. But is there a position where, when moral failure happens, there is no second chance? I think Frank deserves a second chance, but not as an accountant again.
I think about some of my fellow pastors who have had major moral failures. I’m not sure that is something you bounce back from and continue as a pastor. You are still saved, but leading a church seems beyond acceptable. I think it’s a question of how we interpret James 3:1 – Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers and sisters, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.
Frankly (pun intended; Frank is a pseudonym), whether or not he gets another chance as an accountant is out of my control, as I didn’t hire or fire him.
I see merits to what you’re both saying, and what I observe as agreeing in principle that character is important. Personally, I’d love to see Frank get another chance, but there is a cost to violating integrity. You have to build it back up again, which must be accepted as a long, slow process to regain trust. A series of lower-risk tasks done faithfully and well over time is the way forward, in my view.
Good clarification, Robert. I don’t mean to dismiss accountability and consequences, and I would not advocate putting Frank back into a position of temptation. Extending grace is not a call to be naive. Camacho’s ‘build a culture of grace’ falls within the implicit context that the individual wants to develop, ‘where every part does its work.’ (pp 78-79). I support Joff’s suggestion of lower-risk tasks.
Joff, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to play the part of “Holy Spirit, Jr.” in people’s lives. The lesson you learned here is a difficult one—we aren’t in control of those we coach. We can’t determine outcomes. But what an honor to get to come alongside others on their journey. We can trust that God will complete the work he starts.
Thanks, Mika. Your comment makes me think of Philippians 1:6 “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”
All of us, works in progress by allowing God’s grace and the Holy Spirit’s power to lead!
I agree that it’s character above gifting every time! I also agree that a person who journeys hard towards recovery over a long time (5+ years) and is committed to the reality of accountability rather than box-ticking and works hard in psychotherapy to process the reason for the behaviours, could enable a second chance but in a different role.
My research is centred on finding a way to facilitate psycho-education about the impact of trauma because the experience(s) can impact deeply and drive different behaviours such as addictions, messy relationships and coping mechanisms which are not functional. I want the resource to also teach what seems like little-known knowledge about the spiritual battle that ‘is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.’ (Ephesians 6).This is to help stop leaders from hurting others and prevent them from doing something they and others never thought they could do. The current times are demonstrating the need for this more than ever before.
I also think you would be a great coach because you seem to really care deeply about character and integrity.
I appreciate you sharing your professional expertise in this area, Betsy.
In your experience, what factor or combination of factors do you observe makes the difference between those who are stuck in negatively reinforcing patterns and those who are able to break them?
The key elements that shift people from being stuck in hopelessness, shame, sin or pride in my experience, start with the hope that comes from relational connection. Then, the understanding of why they are doing what they often don’t want to do- in a way that reduces shame. That’s where psycho-education comes in! Outside of a supernatural encounter with God or an angel (which is amazing), it usually starts with someone holding hope over a period of time for healing and change to take place.