The Next Big Thing
Several years ago, while living and pastoring in Oregon (which I still do), I was invited to speak at a leadership conference hosted at a large church in Washington State.
O.K. Now, let me tell you the expanded and more truthful version of that last sentence because I just glossed over the truth to make myself sound impressive.
Honestly, my youth pastor was the one invited to speak at the conference as the plenary (main stage) speaker, and I asked him if I could be his “plus-one.”
When I heard he got invited, I was slightly jealous because I had been known as the consummate youth pastor and “father” of summer camping in that region. And, to kick it up a notch, I was secretly pining away, wanting to be asked to be the next senior pastor of that particular large church in Washington after the departure of their senior leader for another assignment.
Are you still tracking with me?
O.K….so I asked to be my youth pastor’s “wing-man” and even proposed that he mention to the conference leadership that I would be coming along, should there be a speaking slot that may just happen to be available, preferably on the main stage.
Are my motives and actions making you feel disgusted yet? They should. I was NOT on my best behavior at that point in my life.
Eventually, I was asked to share at a “breakout workshop” about “What Every Senior Pastor Wished Their Youth Pastor Knew.” I now had a role. I now had a stage, even if it were in a kid’s classroom, with a flannel graph behind me (remember those?).
During the workshop, I made my way through my material, and I felt good about the content and the overall engagement within the room. Nearing the end of the session, I opened it up for the obligatory Q&A. I distinctly remember one of the questions and my response like it was yesterday. A youth pastor asked, “In your experience, what is the next big thing in youth ministry?” Before I tell you my answer, here’s some context.
At this time in church ministry history, the big thing was conferences. It still is. Many of the notable pastoral leaders that we’ve seen and emulated, sadly referred to as “celebrity pastors,” were putting on massive conferences, inviting all their buddies, paying them huge honorariums, gifting them extravagant gifts, and then, with a wink and a nod, reciprocating with their own conference. Rinse and Repeat. By now, you’ve seen the take-down documentaries and read the news reports on these lavish conferences and ministerial lifestyles. That was the predominant culture of the day (think @preachersandsneakers Instagram account), and almost every youth pastor wanted to be on that fast-moving train.*
After I was asked the question regarding the “next big thing,” I paused, quieted my heart, silently prayed, and then spoke succinctly: “I believe the next big thing in youth ministry, actually pastoring in general, is…humility.”
I then proceeded to address the room with quiet passion yet red-hot prophetic unction. You could hear a pin drop. More importantly, I was addressing my own heart. I was preaching to my proverbial choir, which threw a fit when it didn’t get the solo on the big stage. That was me. I needed to be humbled.
Throughout the entire reading of Humble Leadership by Edgar and Peter Schein, I could not help but read it through the lens of that conference, that workshop, that question, the impromptu response, and my heart. Even the four levels of relationships (-1, 1, 2, 3) took on profound meaning to me, with a realization that during that season of my life, I had been viewing churches, congregants, speaking opportunities, and even pastoral peers as “transactional” (Level 1), rather than “whole-person” (Level 2) or “intimate” (Level 3). The missing ingredient was (and is) humility. When I pridefully consider myself as the best (i.e., only) person for a stage, a ministry, a decision, or an assignment, I widen the gap in relationships. Schein draws from Daniel Kahneman on this point: “Older ‘experts’ tend to become overconfident in what they think they know and believe they have learned, and they are less likely to admit to their own ignorance and acknowledge what they have yet to learn” (Schein, 115).
In a word: humility.
To build Level 2 relationships, one must have “effective humble leadership,” and that “will often identify that the most important ‘new and better’ will require evolving some of the existing cultural conventions into new kinds of intentional socio-technical responses and adaptations” (Schein, 135). This is saying that tried-and-true behaviors can be integrated into our modern paradigms, such as focused reflection and deepening relationships. Sometimes, the future way forward is actually the ancient way. Humility is one of those ancient ways whose time has come…again.
You see, humility was and is the way of Jesus. Philippians 2:3-8 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!”
Humility is the next big thing in humanity.
Today, by God’s grace, I will gladly and sincerely be any youth pastor’s “wing-man, plus-one,” and I have no need to speak. Oh, sure, I still enjoy it, but now I am way more content just listening.
* NOTE: One of the original “PreachersandSneakers” IG takedowns (ala highlights) was my friend Chad Veach, pastor of Zoe Church in LA. He has been known as one of the OG Celebrity Pastors that has run in the pastoral posse of Wilkerson, Smith, Lentz, etc. etc. I know him personally (not saying this to brag). He is a wonderful human and submitted servant of God. He is a humble leader. Check out his latest book about pride and humilty, entitled: I’ll Bet You Think This Book is About You. Not only is it the best book title of all time, and I’m jealous I didn’t think of it first, but it is a master class on the biblical value of humility. Highly recommend.
About the Author
John Fehlen
John Fehlen is currently the Lead Pastor of West Salem Foursquare Church. Prior to that he served at churches in Washington and California. A graduate of Life Pacific University in San Dimas, CA in Pastoral Ministry, and Vanguard University in Costa Mesa, CA with a Masters in Leadership and Spirituality. He and his wife Denise have four grown children and four grandchildren. John is the author of "Don't Give Up: Encouragement for Weary Souls in Challenging Times," a book for pastoral leaders, a children's book called "The Way I See You," and the forthcoming "Leave A Mark: The Jouney of Intentional Parenting." You can connect with John on Instagram (@johnfehlen) as well as at johnfehlen.substack.com.7 responses to “The Next Big Thing”
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Hopefully you and I both have grown in humility since that season (that I remember well)
But like the “living sacrifice” in Romans 12, my pride keeps wanting to crawl off the altar. Just when I think I’ve tamed the beast, something happens that makes me want to get up on that main stage again.
Is it an occupational hazzard for those of us who speak to a lot of people week after week after week? I think so. The bigger question is how do we surrender our pride and become the kind of humble leaders that this book suggests?
Any thoughts?
I have a couple of thoughts…
Maybe suffering has somethign to do with humility. Tough times have a way of helping us get humble, real fast.
Maybe it’s important for us to serve in quiet, hidden ways that no one sees, but Jesus.
Maybe we need regular check-ins with elders, spouse, key volunteers, etc to ask how we are presenting ourselves in public and private.
Maybe there’s a prayer or mantra of sorts we could say each time we go onto any stage….I have somethign I’ve written on my office whiteboard that could serve to check me: “If the light that is on you is brighter than the light that is in you, the light that is on you will eventually blind you”
John, I really appreciate your authenticity in telling this story… and how restorative that the series of events you THOUGHT you were working for your strategies ended up bringing you to conviction that were also was instructive and helpful for your audience!
In a conversation I heard with Schein and Schein on this book, it was noted that what they are proposing with their model is actually really risky. The observation was that it is risky to become vulnerable with your teams. However, I think your story highlights another risk: It can be counter-intuitive to let your team take the spotlight/opportunities that traditionally would be afforded to a senior leader. If you were to offer advice to the younger you of your story, what would you say?
It is risky to be vulnerable with teams. I’ve done it quite often, and it’s been risky for me. I’ve admitted moments in which pride consumed me, or desires for a bigger ministry, or future aspirations, and it has backfired on me. The risk is that one can be labeled a narcissist. I truly hope I am not that.
So, what would I tell my younger self…”John, life is both short and long. You will have opportunites that others will not. And others will have opportunities that you will not. It’s OK. Serve where you are asked. Allow others to serve where they are asked, and don’t be jealous. You have plenty to do for the Lord as it is!”
Hi John,
Ahhh humility…the opposite side of pride?
The Jesus side, versus the satan side?
You wrote, ” I was addressing my own heart. I was preaching to my proverbial choir, which threw a fit when it didn’t get the solo on the big stage. That was me. I needed to be humbled.”
I am connecting with this on so many personal levels.
Pride is the bacteria eating away at my soul.
Jennifer Vernham wrote, “how can I best equip our team to use their skills, talents and giftings to build new solutions for problems we have never seen before?”
This resonates with me as I am working with young adults who are so distinctly different, but have the same goal of ministering to those in Ukraine.
Humble leadership/Servant Leadership, somehow I am connecting the two. Add a return to Team Leadership. (Tammy spoke about polycentric leadership to me at the advance & I am hearkening back to Northouse and his chapter on Team leadership.)
More collaborative leadership!
The coach I am using this semester is all about team leadership and particularly an identification of the “six Geniuses.”
ChatGPT summarizes.
The “Six Geniuses” often refer to a framework developed by **Geniuses at Work**, a concept popularized by the author and speaker, **Dr. G. L. L. Silva**. This framework identifies six distinct ways of thinking and problem-solving that individuals can embody. Here’s a brief description of each:
1. **The Genius of Wonder**: This genius is characterized by curiosity and the ability to ask insightful questions. People with this genius often explore possibilities and envision what could be, driving innovation and creativity.
2. **The Genius of Discernment**: Individuals embodying this genius possess strong intuition and judgment. They are skilled at analyzing situations, understanding nuances, and making decisions based on deep insights and instinct.
3. **The Genius of Completion**: This genius focuses on execution and the ability to bring projects to fruition. These individuals excel at organizing, managing details, and ensuring that tasks are completed on time and to a high standard.
4. **The Genius of Galvanization**: Those with this genius have a natural ability to inspire and rally others around a cause. They are persuasive communicators and leaders who can mobilize teams and encourage collaboration.
5. **The Genius of Enablement**: This genius is marked by a supportive and nurturing approach. Individuals embodying this genius excel at empowering others, providing encouragement, and fostering an environment where others can thrive.
6. **The Genius of Activation**: This genius is characterized by action-oriented thinking. People with this genius are proactive, always looking to take initiative and implement ideas quickly.
Together, these geniuses represent different strengths and approaches that can enhance teamwork and problem-solving in various contexts. Understanding and leveraging these different genius types can lead to more effective collaboration and innovative outcomes.
Too much?
Anyway, it sort of speaks to diving into relationships and understanding the team (their strengths an weaknesses).
Pam Lau spoke about the root word of humble to be found in humus, or dirt.
As a gardener this has special meaning for me since I am constantly evaluating soil and trying to amend them for better plant growth….but I digress.
For the non Christian writers of this book, I imagine
they are moving towards polycentric leadership and perhaps have never heard of Jesus’ servant leadership.
Shalom.
There is so much good stuff in here Russell. Thank you. You given me a lot to chew on.
Pam spoke about “humas” – I just read about that root word in my friend Chad Veach’s new book “I’ll Bet You Think This Book is About You.” – such a good read from a young pastor.
Hi John,
Reading your post, I was stunned. You are such a humble pastor. Almost everyone, including me, has been in a position that wants what you want. But one thing that makes me feel your post has value is that you dare to honestly and openly share it in your post. Honestly, I learned a lot from you. You wrote, “I then proceeded to address the room with quiet passion yet red-hot prophetic unction. You could hear a pin drop. More importantly, I was addressing my own heart. I was preaching to my proverbial choir, which threw a fit when it didn’t get the solo on the big stage. That was me. I needed to be humbled.”
This is truly amazing.
Do pastors, especially those who are senior and experienced, experience great temptations to be prideful? In your experience, what should a pastor do to overcome the hidden temptation to be hubris?