The “Christian” Thing to do!
Years ago, as I began preparing to leave Jakarta to move to South Sulawesi, an Indonesia friend and member of our church told me she had been watching me. I panicked a little, wondering what she observed. I secretly prayed it was something good. I was keenly aware that my every move was a curiosity and carried weight and meaning that could be easily misunderstood. What she shared surprised me. She had noticed that I talked to my baby all the time, even though my infant daughter could not talk back. I was puzzled at first and then she said, “I thought to myself, if Jenny talks to her baby, then it must be the “Christian” thing to do!” She explained to me how she locked herself in her bedroom and practiced talking to her baby until she felt comfortable. Thankfully, it was a mutually satisfying experience for her and her child.
I’m not sure talking to an infant is a “Christian” thing to do, but it helps mothers and babies attach and attune! While this young Indonesian mother was imitating me, her baby was learning to engage with and imitate her. For better or worse all humans are born imitators. Through imitation we are attuning and attaching to others and to the systems of our world. This has both positive and negative effects on our identity, relationships, and leadership.
JR Woodward in The Scandal of Leadership: Unmasking the Powers of Domination in the Church writes, “Each of us is a model to someone.”[1] That is a rather heavy responsibility. One that we need to take seriously as leaders. Each of us also looks for role models to imitate, it’s our nature, and how we learn to do life in a confusing and unfamiliar world. Additionally, imitation serves the purpose of helping to form our identity. In terms of leadership in the church, Woodward states, “The self-identity of the leader is foundational.”[2] The continuing identity formation of the leader is crucial to the health of the church. We do not discover our identities on our own or in a vacuum. Our relationships with others and our environment play a significant role. Woodward isolated two key stressors that impair the identity formation of the pastor. First, congregations putting the pastor on a high pedestal, and second, the pastor’s own sense of inadequacy.[3] I find connection to how Peter G. Northouse linked the roles of leader and follower as being inter-related and leadership as a co-created process.[4] It seems leader and follower both play a role in the demise and success of leaders.
Seeking a diagnosis for the epidemic of fallen leaders, Woodward identifies the influences of fallen Powers that have their roots in selfish ambition, envy, and pride.[5] These Powers are both spiritual and economic, social, and political. Citing Walter Wink, Woodward notes the Powers are good because they were created by God, though fallen, and therefore capable of evil misuse. More importantly, the Powers are redeemable.[6] This hints at the goal of missional leadership to follow Christ and his mission to redeem the world and the Powers within it. This requires us to follow and imitate our leader, Jesus, and be cognizant of the influences that lead to death, while actively pursuing what leads to abundant life in Christ.
Woodward also a seeks a remedy that can potentially prevent leaders from falling. He highlights one goal of an imitation-based framework is to help leaders, “…become aware of our desires, the way the Powers seek to distort them, and how fully imitating Christ through embodied practices can reshape the telos of our desires toward God, his kingdom, and his righteousness.”[7] Furthermore, as Christians we are given an entirely new identity as beloved children of God and connected to others through the love of Christ. This identity is at odds with the world. Therefore, as leaders we need practices, models, and relationships that encourage our identity in Christ, draw us nearer to Him, and bring life and participation in the Kingdom of God to those we lead. Woodward suggests kenotic spirituality and leadership, which take on the attitudes and mindset of Christ “to die daily” and in turn reshape our desires.[8] He notes three pathways in which leaders can emulate Jesus by “refusing to exploit our status; regularly empty ourselves; and revolutionary humble obedience.”[9]
Similarly, Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder highlighted imitation, intimacy, and identity as key factors within the R.A.R.E. leadership model.[10] This model is implemented in the context of relationships using identity groups. Christian leaders need places of belonging in which they are seen, heard, known, loved, and encouraged to lead and live like Jesus. It is my observation that when leaders fall isolation is a contributing factor. This speaks to my NPO in which a core fear of my stakeholders is burnout due to high expectations and the need for safe connection. There is much to glean from Woodward’s research and the self-emptying spirituality he suggests.
The models I choose to imitate can have a positive or negative impact on my life, leadership, and ministry calling. All Christians are called to community and to a self-emptying way of being with others and God. I’m simultaneously a leader and a follower, a role model and an imitator. In each case, I’m invited to be an imitator of Christ.
Therefore, be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. Ephesians 5:1-2 NASB
Woodward opened his introduction with these words, “Life is a paradox. We are all a mix of good and bad; we are beautiful and broken. We often have mixed motives.”[11] He pointed out we can either be the scandal by imitating the Powers of this world or imitate the scandalizing ways of Jesus, which is the “Christian” thing to do. I want to be that beloved child who watches, learns, and imitates all He does.
[1] JR Woodward, The Scandal of Leadership: Unmasking the Powers of Domination in the Church (Cody, WY: 100 Movements Publishing, 2023), 109.
[2] JR Woodward, The Scandal of Leadership, 29.
[3] Ibid., xxxiii.
[4] Peter G. Northouse, Leadership: Theory and Practice, Ninth Edition (Los Angeles, CA: SAGE, 2022), 364.
[5] James 3:16-17, Philippians 2:3.
[6] Woodward, The Scandal of Leadership, 83-84.
[7] Ibid., 49.
[8] Ibid., 259.
[9] Ibid., 262-263.
[10] Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, Rare Leadership: 4 Uncommon Habits (Chicago, IL: Moody Press, 2016), 107-108.
[11] Woodward, The Scandal of Leadership, xxvii.
About the Author
Jenny Dooley
Jenny served as a missionary in Southeast Asia for 28 years. She currently resides in Gig Harbor, Washington, where she works as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Spiritual Director in private practice with her husband, Eric. Jenny loves to listen and behold the image of God in others. She enjoys traveling, reading, and spending time with her family which include 5 amazing adult children, 3 awesome sons-in-law, a beautiful daughter-in-law, and 8 delightful grandchildren.11 responses to “The “Christian” Thing to do!”
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Jenny, great post, and great opening example! You wrote, “Christian leaders need places of belonging in which they are seen, heard, known, loved, and encouraged to lead and live like Jesus. It is my observation that when leaders fall it is often due to isolation.” I would be curious to know if you think that the institutions, including churches and seminaries/graduate schools, that currently serve as places of formation (outside of the family) could approach the way they go about training leaders differently, in light of what you said. What is one or perhaps two things that they could change to help emerging leaders to have a better experience of belonging and avoid isolation? My NPO involves the experience of isolation among ministry leaders, so I am genuinely interested in your answer. Or maybe a better question is this: If you could start a new institution that tackled the problem of isolation in leadership, what would it include?
Hi Travis,
Thanks for your kind words and the question. I do think isolation is a huge problem for ministry leaders. My NPO research backed that up as well. My own experience in seminary was helpful because of the required Identity and Awareness classes I took which contributed to being seen and known in community. The courses were an opportunity to get to know myself, notice blind spots etc…but also safely share myself with others. I remember a professor encouraging us to develop “Theological” friendships that were ongoing after graduation and I took that to mean ongoing relationships in which I was seen and known as well. I’ve kept up with classmates, meeting monthly for the last several years. (I hope something similar continues with our cohort!) I think Pastors need supportive relationships from the beginning in which there is ongoing commitment and care. Maybe seminaries could be more intentional about forming those groups and giving students more experience of safe environments to share, explore spiritual direction and counseling, address ongoing spiritual formation, and offer retreat opportunities so pastors start with rhythms and relationships that sustain them throughout life and ministry. I had many of those opportunities at Portland Seminary. I wonder what other seminaries offer. I’m aware that some pastors have little training or opportunity to engage in such activities and that churches often don’t understand how isolated and exhausted their pastors can become. So changing the culture of the church to embrace practices that support their pastor’s ongoing care and formation is critical as well. I hope somewhere in my response I have answered your question. I’m still thinking on it!
Hi Jenny,
Great post.
You wrote, “He notes three pathways in which leaders can emulate Jesus by “refusing to exploit our status; regularly empty ourselves; and revolutionary humble obedience.”[9]
Ahhh humility the opposite of Pride. Thanks for the reminder.
Shalom…
Hi Russell,
It is the regularly emptying myself that I am trying to focus on lately. I have been exploring different ways to use use retreat for that purpose, if that makes sense. Getting away somehow makes me more aware of all the “junk” that I need to let go of in my life and re-orientate my desires. I was disappointed to learn this week that a themed retreat I planned to be apart of got cancelled, so now I am trying to come up with something else.
Hi Jenny,
Bummer….Tonight I have a chance to introduce interlinkt.org to a swahili speaking family (14)!
Plus the volunteers. Go God!
That’s exciting! I look forward to hearing all about it!
Hi, Jenny,
It is interesting how much people look to leaders to pattern their lives after. It is quite a responsibility to live righteously. You mentioned: “The continuing identity formation of the leader is crucial to the health of the church. We do not discover our identities on our own or in a vacuum. Our relationships with others and our environment play a significant role.” The key is relationship…having others speak truth and life and hold us accountable. As a counselor and missionary, what relationships have helped you continue to process your own identity?
Hi Esther,
Thanks for the question. I mentioned in my response to Scott that I have been blessed with ongoing relationships formed in seminary for my masters degree in spiritual formation. It has been a joy to continue meeting with those women regularly since graduation. I’m really hoping that will be the same with our cohort. I have my dear and oldest friend of 35-years in Asia and we regularly check-in with one another. Recently, a small group has been forming with a few other women in Asia. We meet via Zoom and those times together have been deeply encouraging to all of us. My spiritual director has been a big support for the last 6-years as well. How about you?
Relationships are important but I find that it can be hard to make time for deeper relationships because there are so many relationships to keep up on in the church. I remember Jill Weber mentioning that she lacked bandwidth to be close to everyone. I am seeing that more and more for me. I am asking the Holy Spirit to help me be wise with friendships I do have about 5 very good friends I can call anytime, and have a wonderful coach as well as. I do feel a special kinship with our cohort and hope we do stay connected after we graduate. Spending this much time together over stressful due dates helps create a special bond. Ha! Ha!
What a great posts Jenny, nice job incorporating so much of our reading! Love your beginning story about the young Mother imitating your parenting. That is a great example and reminds me of one of my favourite quotes. Preach the gospel wherever you go and use words when necessary. I think loving and talking to your baby was very “Christian”. You were spreading love and light and didn’t even know it!
Thank you Adam, that incident was a good reminder that whether we hold a leadership position or not, if people perceive you as a leader they will also imitate you. What we model in public and private will be copied, so it matters. What also stands out to me is modeling what to do when we don’t get it right or react sinfully by taking ownership and making amends. I so appreciate the humility and the humanity of the leader who models those behaviors well.