Quiet on the Set!
“My mother was an actress and when I was a kid, I wanted to act, too. But she didn’t want that for me. She said the lifestyle is so hard, it’s either feast or famine. Today, I am a businessman who acts,” Jess Akerman (not his real name).
When my former boss posted this quote on social media, my immediate thought was to pause and wonder which version of Jess I had really come to know over our two years of working together. His remark was a turnoff (and he later removed it), but I internally recognized my minor irritation, the threat response, and thought, “Ah, my limbic system is working.”
From Simon Walker’s front stage and backstage analogy in Leading Out of Who You Are to David Rock’s Your Brain at Work, acting has been a repeated theme in our readings lately. For Rock, the use of characters in a theater play helps describe the inner workings of the human brain, which can sometimes take us into places we never realize we are going until we get there. This is true about emotional responses. Our brains are wired with a bent toward the negative, which is why “bad” gets attention. Because our limbic systems are designed to spot threats, we feel a “flight or fight” reaction. However, having the ability to regulate these emotions is an important quality in leadership and is often the doorway to achieving critical thinking.
Rock asserts that how we organize our daily routines can play a big role in either zapping our mental energy or filling our buckets. Schedule time blocks for different modes of thinking because “Some mental processes take up a lot more energy than others,” he said. To solve problems, you must quiet your brain.
Rock argues that people don’t generally want to think because thinking is exhausting! From a biological perspective, he is right! Many of our mundane routines and tasks are performed without much thought through the prefrontal cortex part of our brains, which uses very little energy or glucose. However, more difficult tasks or problems that require deeper thinking and solutions go beyond the prefrontal cortex into different parts of the brain that use far more glucose.
While our brain controls every function within the human body, “We do have the ability for conscious choice over how to engage it.” [1] Edwin Friedman talks about this as self-regulation in his book, A Failure of Nerve. “What makes the chronically anxious family’s anxiety chronic is not its pain, but the way it deals with its pain,” he said.[2] People with stronger cognitive control have the ability to quiet their thinking. Meditation and prayer are excellent resources for this. Once a person reaches that place of true mental silence, they are afforded more insights.
As Christians, Jesus modeled the importance of a dedicated prayer life. While he didn’t battle with the demand of emails, he always had people around him vying for his attention, seeking his advice, or healing. Still, he prioritized prayer and frequently went off by himself to converse with the father. His disciples picked up that prayer was important, so they asked, “Lord, teach us to pray” (Luke 11: 1-4). They did not ask, “Teach us to heal people” or “Teach us to raise people from the dead.”[3]
While David Rock covered far more topics than what is presented here, I conclude that building your day around prayer rather than squeezing it in as a secondary thought is a crucial component of leadership. Quieting the noise in your mind through prayer allows you to have neutral thinking, which is where you will find the solutions you are seeking.
[1] Rock, David. Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long. Revised and Updated. New York, NY: Harper Business, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishing, 2020.
[2] Friedman, Edwin H., Margaret M. Treadwell, and Edward W. Beal. A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix. 10th anniversary revised edition. New York: Church Publishing, 2017.
[3] Skoog, Ryan, Peter Greer, Cameron Doolittle, and Jill Heisey. Lead with Prayer: The Spiritual Habits of World-Changing Leaders. First edition. Nashville: FaithWords, 2024.
8 responses to “Quiet on the Set!”
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Jennifer,
There has been a focus on acting over the last few weeks. But luckily for you, you had the opportunity to put on a bunny costume and act out in public for Easter. Good for you!
Your work is hard and often gives you an opportunity to visit prisons. For most people, this would be a very tiring experience. In my experience as a paramedic entering jails, it was always a mentally exhausting experience. How do you find ways to be energized through your work?
Ha! That is an excellent question, Adam. In a strange sort of way, I feel more “at home” in prison than in many other places. There is a level of authenticity that is unmatched when you are with people whose worst days are available for anyone to see online. Oklahoma is a sunshine state, meaning you can see criminal charges and mugshots for anyone in DOC custody.
I like to say that if we all had our sins packed into a clear suitcase and set out on the porch waiting for our Uber driver, every single one of us would be wearing orange (or whatever color the local prison garb is).
What tires me more is being around people who need to maintain a public image for one reason or another. My energy does wear out in prison sometimes (Jesus lives there but so does the enemy) and spiritual attacks are a real thing. But most of the time I walk out of there restored and refreshed. And prison church….there is nothing like it. Seriously powerful!
Hi Jennifer! I totally agree that thinking is exhausting! Leaders are often engaged in very difficult thinking – and at greater proportions than many non-leaders.
How do you preserve your brain energy to work on things that matter?
I have always said that time management is not my issue, but energy management is. Pastor Craig Groeschel with Life Church (who baptized me) has led the way in recognizing what time of the day we are at our best or worst. I am a morning person, so I rise early to do my best work. By 3 PM or 4 PM, I’m pretty much toast, so I save the prefrontal cortex tasks for those hours. Good question!
Hi Jennifer, Your comment about the former boss posting something that showed he was disingenuous to reading your comment to Adam and then to some of our conversations I am wondering if and how authenticity might work into your NPO.
Hi friend,
I had not thought of that, but you might be on to something. Authenticity is a big part of my daily (work?) (intentions?) (being ?)??? Working in prisons, you can spot manipulation walking down the sidewalk, just as you can spot true hearts. Thank you for the idea. I will pray about that to see if Jesus wants me to fold it in. Bless you and all that you are doing right now!
Hi Jennifer. I enjoyed your post and particularly “quiet on the set.” I hear this phrase practically every week. As you reflect on your daily routine, how have you structured it to avoid the mental overload?
Daren, remind me about your job and why you hear this phrase often. I’m curious.
Mental overload is a big deal for a “connector” thinker. Overload is easy to achieve. This semester has taught me to structure my time differently so I have the mental bandwidth to address schoolwork. Last week I attended a prayer meeting in the morning and it was VERY peaceful for that hour, I was able to come back and write like crazy with totally clear thinking.
The trick was to focus on not focusing on anything. Pray with music to clear your mind. In that space of silence is where the answers will come, which is counterintuitive to my natural thinking. I can easily circle the drain thinking about the problem and all the ways to solve it, but paralyze myself in doing so. I pray you are better at this than I am. If you have tips to share, please do!