No More Delusional Shortcuts!
Reading Bobby Duffy’s Why We’re Wrong About Nearly Everything felt like having a challenging conversation with a responsible and competent friend who encouraged me to “check myself.” It is never easy to hear, “You are delusional.” Duffy states, “The reason we get so many things wrong is a combination of effects of how we think and what we are told. We are so wrong because of the interaction between these effects.” [1] Duffy discusses Daniel Kahneman’s Systems 1 and 2 thinking and the mental shortcuts that lead us astray. In Thinking Fast and Slow, Kahneman writes, “System 1 registers the cognitive ease with which it processes information, but it does not generate a warning signal when it becomes unreliable.” [2] Furthermore, Kahneman writes, “When we think of ourselves, we identify with System 2, the conscious, reasoning self that has beliefs, makes choices, and decides what to think about and what to do.” [3] Ultimately, Duffy proposes that it is a system that leads us astray, prone to delusions and a misperception of reality.
Why We’re Wrong About Nearly Everything is not the first assigned reading this semester that encourages readers to consider how easily we can be led astray. Although I have primarily associated the idea of “being led astray” with external data, this week, I have considered the internal voices that misconstrue reality and require reframing my thoughts.
Recently, I have been focusing on learning Hassaniya Arabic, the local dialect spoken in Mauritania. It is hard. Unfortunately, this week, I experienced a personal low. At the end of each day, I returned home with words like failure, loser, impossible, stupid, and a few expletives spinning around in my mind. This was the data (or voices) informing my perception of my reality. It negatively impacted my classroom learning and my feelings toward the language and the country. Duffy writes, “Our misperceptions are wide, deep, and long-standing.” [4] This short-cut thinking has been my long-standing go-to when I don’t feel like I am performing at a high level. Duffy explains, “Our brains handle negative information differently and store it more readily and accessibly.” This is accurate of myself when navigating something challenging that I cannot grasp. When my defenses are down, I immediately gravitate toward the negative. The negative becomes my reality, and I get stuck.
Duffy argues that we need to change our mental shortcuts. [5] To do this, one of the multiple applications Duffy recommends is to accept the emotion but challenge the thought. [6] Rather than succumbing to our immediate emotions, take a more deliberative, contemplative approach. Duffy writes, “Missing how our emotions shape what we see and think are just some of the perils of perception we face every day.” [7] Thus, after a few days in what seemed like a language-learning emotional tailspin, I decided to sit down and name my emotions. I found there was a lot of fear. Kahneman writes, “Emotions such as fear, affection, and hatred explain most of the occasions on which people depart from rationality.” [8] Additionally, I challenged the thoughts I had about myself. I am not a failure because I do not have a perfect accent and struggle to recall an entirely new vocabulary. The reality is language learning is complex. I was delusional to think this would be an easy process. Accepting the emotion but challenging the thought is just one of ten applications Duffy recommends for dealing with our delusions.
The applications Duffy prescribes to deal with our delusions share similarities to Eve Poole’s ideas presented in Leadersmithing and the importance of templating. Especially the four areas of meta-learning: leadership muscle memory, self-regulation, reflective judgment, and learning to learn. [9] The area I want to emphasize very briefly is self-regulation. Poole writes, “Self-regulation, in cognitive terms, is the ability to calibrate your reactions and control your impulses.” Eve’s point concerning the necessity of self-regulation is to lessen the mental load. My current personal example of self-regulation in language learning is something I have experienced while learning French. I know the frustrations that surface regularly, but I also know you come out the other side with practice and discipline. Thus, I was surprised and disappointed that I was defaulting to old thinking patterns. I thought these reactions were a thing of the past! Fortunately, I have learned to work through these emotions more quickly and can continue moving forward. I finished the week with a positive attitude. During this time of learning Hassaniya, I desire to be more proactive in working through emotions and doing away with unhealthy thinking patterns that stunt growth. Possessing the tools to help me navigate complex data (external or internal) is critical to my mental health.
Why We’re Wrong About Nearly Everything was a good reminder to “check myself” and the data I am choosing to believe. I can be easily led astray, as I am prone to mental shortcuts and negative thoughts. This was something I experienced firsthand during a challenging week of language learning. The data spinning in my head concerning myself (i.e., failure, loser, impossible, stupid) gave me a false perception of reality. My reality was that of failure. This was not true. This thinking required a change from default, unhealthy thinking patterns. Duffy proposes that we need to change our mental shortcuts. He provides applications to help us deal with our misconceptions. The most impactful of Duffy’s ten applications in dealing with delusions was accepting the emotion but challenging the thought. Duffy states, “Tempering our immediate emotional reactions with more deliberative, contemplative thought is much more difficult—but that’s the key.” [10] We do not have to deny our emotions; we should train ourselves to work through them more contemplatively. This is an area where I desire to grow more. I am appreciative for the tools that will continue to help me be proactive about my reactions and view of reality. No more delusional shortcuts!
[1] Why We’re Wrong About Nearly Everything – Professor Bobby Duffy, 2020. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86tfiGCmiNE.
[2] Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow (p. 416). Farrar, Straus and Giroux. Kindle Edition.
[3] Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow (p. 21). Farrar, Straus and Giroux. Kindle Edition.
[4] Bobby Duffy, Why We’re Wrong About Nearly Everything. (p. 11). Basic Books. Kindle Edition.
[5] Why We’re Wrong About Nearly Everything – Professor Bobby Duffy, 2020. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86tfiGCmiNE.
[6] Bobby Duffy, Why We’re Wrong About Nearly Everything. (p. 212). Basic Books. Kindle Edition.
[7] Bobby Duffy, Why We’re Wrong About Nearly Everything. (p. 9). Basic Books. Kindle Edition.
[8] Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow (p. 8). Farrar, Straus and Giroux. Kindle Edition.
[9] Eve Poole, Leadersmithing: Revealing the Trade Secrets of Leadership (p. 12). Bloomsbury Publishing. Kindle Edition.
[10] Bobby Duffy, Why We’re Wrong About Nearly Everything. (p. 212). Basic Books. Kindle Edition.
About the Author
Elysse Burns
13 responses to “No More Delusional Shortcuts!”
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Elysse, I admire you for taking on the complex challenge of learning a new language. You indicate in your post that this is not the first time you have taken on this challenge (learning French) and allude to having the tools to take on the emotional work needed to succeed. I am curious if learning languages relate to your current work? Also, I am not familiar with your NPO, does learning the language relate in any way to that?
Hi Chad, thank you for your comment. I live fulltime in Nouakchott, Mauritania and learning languages has served as a means of survival and to deepen relationships with the people and culture. So, I wouldn’t say linguist is a formal job title, but it seems learning languages comes with the territory of living overseas.
Since starting the DLGP, I have done research in French and I hope as things progress, I can do some in Hassaniya. My discovery workshop was led in French. My NPO focuses on the collaboration between international nonprofits and Mauritanians to build up local leaders to develop themselves and their communities. I do believe language serves a big role in that collaboration.
Elysse, congratulations on working through your emotions quickly. What will help you in the future to more quickly “[accept] the emotion but [challenge] the thought?”
Hi Kari, thank you for the kind comment. I am learning it’s important when I am feeling strong emotions about something to stop everything (if possible) and figure it out. I do not always do this perfectly, but I am learning methods of how to do this in different situations. When experiencing strong emotions during language, I am learning it’s best to step outside during a break and pray and have a snack. This helps until I can get home and work through things more in-depth with an emotions wheel and a prayer journal. 🙂
Elysse,
Oooh, nice opening! I think we all need to hear that from time to time — “check yourself.”
You also point out something important—that our internal voices can lead us astray so quickly. You reminded me of the time when I was learning Russian because I was a missionary to Russia for 9+ years. Also a difficult language, and a contrasting alphabet (Cyrillic). Growing up in different cultures for the first 14 years of my life, I had to learn the language of the country in school. Soon, I realized that a smile along with hand signals, as long as they weren’t offensive, went a long way.
More importantly, to you, keep learning the language, for the more you speak the language, the better life will be for you. That was the advice given to me by a missionary many years ago.
What are some mental shortcuts you can engage with to help you with your language learning process and help you have a more positive experience?
Hi Nancy, thank you for sharing your experience in Russia. That’s something I would like to know more about when we meet for the next advance.
You ask a good question. I am not sure what mental shortcuts I can engage with to make the language learning experience more enjoyable! I feel so much of the process requires intentionality and thought. I can say that I do enjoy listening to music from the host country. That doesn’t require much thought. 🙂 Any tips on mental shortcuts that helped you enjoy learning Russian?
Hi Elysse,
I would say try the Memrise app, but I just checked and the only African language they offer is Yoruba, which is not in your region since that was the language we learned in Nigeria.
One lesson I learned from my days of trying to grasp Russian was to watch children’s TV. In fact, some of the host pastors gave me DVDs to help me, which was so sweet. The other thing I did was walk through the streets and point to something and my interpreter would tell me what the Russian word was for that. It was more enjoyable when it was food. I still remember some of the words today. That can easily help with the words you might use daily.
I also reminded myself to relax, laugh, and enjoy the process. When I was teaching myself Italian, I used software (the name escapes me) that taught the user to connect an Italian word to something in English. For instance, the word for strawberry is fragola. My connection was “frog.”
May your mind and nerves be relaxed enough to open up to learn things that are not your norm, but will soon be. 😁✌🏽
Thanks for a good post Elysse. My prayer for you is that you wont be so hard on yourself!
Earlier this week, I sent an email to one of my customers, who I just plain forgot to follow through on. My subject line was “I am a terrible representative”. When she replied, she changed the subject line to “I am a wonderful representative” and it changed everything that I was feeling about myself.
I loved your statement “We do not have to deny our emotions; we should train ourselves to work through them more contemplative. ” As I love being conteplative myself, what does that look like to you?
Hi Chris, being contemplative usually looks like prayer journaling and drinking good coffee. Those things usually get my head in the right place.
Great examples Elysse! Love the share about learning a new language. And I appreciate your honesty in sharing your mental and emotional self-flagellation. Where else do you see this strategy of paying attention to old patterns of mental shortcuts being useful in your life?
Hi Debbie, thank you for your comment. I think paying attention to old patterns of mental shortcuts has also helped me with school. When I was in my Masters program, I remember pushing and pushing until I was an anxious, exhausted mess. I do not want to repeat those patterns, so I have learned to shut down study time before it puts my brain into overdrive and it makes it hard for me to sleep. However, I do find myself reverting to old behaviors from time to time and I consciously have to stop myself from continuing in those patterns.
Hi, Elysse, I applaud you for your courage to learn another language and endure the challenges. In a short phrase, what would be the key to avoid mental shortcuts?
Hi Noel, I believe a key to avoiding mental shortcuts is to give ourselves time to process and reflect.