The Need for Identity
As my 2-year-old son slept across my chest in our Westchester County apartment, my life would change by this morning. I was awakened by my sister’s call; a plane had hit the World Trade Center. She wanted to know if I got called into work. I usually would work the day shift, but on 9/11, I was working late as the Democratic primary was taking place, and I would be working election coverage. Thinking not much of it, I immediately turned on my television with my son lying across my chest and saw the damage done to the World Trade Center by the plane. As I watched a few minutes later, there it was, I saw a second plane flying across my screen live in real-time, directly striking into the World Trade Center, and the news anchor immediately saying, “The United States is under attack; the United States is under attack.”
In my job capacity, I had a unique perspective, quickly observing what much of the world couldn’t witness, as the media, for once, exercised great sensitivity to prevent escalating public mayhem. I was able to see for myself scared people leaping from the tower. People’s sights and sounds were haunting, watching them jump in desperation and soon become casualties. The radio calls from those trapped and the images of individuals covered in blood, ash, and debris are etched in my memory and cannot be erased or deleted.
Arriving at my mother’s house a day later, I headed straight to my bedroom. One of the perks of living by the Hudson in NYC was the daily view of the towers, a constant presence. Additionally, each July 4th brought the excitement of watching the fireworks show. As I gazed out on that day, the towers had disappeared, leaving an emptiness in my spirit, and I felt as though my life had been profoundly violated. The stagnant, visible black smoke lingered in the air for nearly a month, serving as a stark reminder to me that the terrorism I witnessed in distant corners of the world has now literally manifested at my doorstep. I lost friends, colleagues, and, admittedly, a part of myself that day.
9/11 will go down in history, but 9/12 will also be etched in my memory. As we all anxiously awaited the identification and confirmation of those who were safe, injured, or still missing, a unique spirit began to resonate across NYC and America. On 9/12, people were rallying together; blood donations were pouring in at record numbers; search and rescue workers were uniting together; police, fire, and hospitals came together; unions came together; and people were coming together regardless of race, political group, class, or status. People gathered from various walks in town halls, high schools, parks, and college campuses to sit, weep, watch, and mourn. For 24-48 hours after the bombing, we painted Mounk’s picture of losing our identity for a more significant identity! We collectively became the United States; we were all American! I still hear the chants, “USA, USA, USA.”
The heart of Mounk’s writing is grounded against the backdrop of a new ideology centered on race, gender, and sexual orientation by those on the left. His conclusion is that a focus on identity is counterproductive as there would be a prioritization of one group above the other, ending in a zero-sum conflict. Mounk defends universalism but is not optimistic about the Trap’s future. “the forces favoring the identity trap and favoring its retrenchment will clash for years to come.”[1] The identity trap is a legitimate argument. The emergence of new identity factions is on the rise daily, resulting in a more isolated and divided society than ever before.
Secondly, I concur that the rise in social media has taken a dramatic turn toward individualism. As you search, you can subscribe to many categories, leading to varying streams of identification. Mounk contends that if the losing identity could be replaced by seeing our commonalities, we could obtain different results. “I can also recognize that we are compatriots, agree on important political ideals, and share the fact of our humanity.”[2]
Is losing the identity trap humanly possible? He gives six arguments for it. However, there is some truth to Mounk’s position because if every identity were broken down within itself, there would be an instant overflow of diversified needs and focal points that would lead everyone down endless rabbit holes, never to return.
On the contrary, I would argue that there is a need for individual identity. Using world religion and 9/11 as one example. I wonder what it would be like if everyone were identified as God’s followers without identity? That would be a recipe for disaster! Right now, many in the Muslim community are facing undue and intense scrutiny and profiling by some simply because of how identity labels all Muslims the same in their beliefs.
I also ask the question, “How can we reach an identity synthesis when a significant portion of our population seeks to downplay or dismiss the injustices and atrocities that so many people face?” Hatred is still real, Bigotry is still a big problem, and sexism and discrimination still run prevalent in our society. An ongoing fight continues against the unarmed deaths by law enforcement and the mass incarceration of individuals from black and brown communities. There is a denial of election results but, more egregious, a persistent denial of the historic existence of slavery and American racism, a perspective popularly held between groups of politicians and people. The state of Florida has voted to revise, rewrite, and eliminate African American history from its school system. Here in New York, amidst the pandemic, we witnessed the disproportionate adverse impact of COVID-19 on black and brown populations, a reality I can attest to with the loss of 54 individuals I knew personally. This is no sympathy post, but a mere argument for the need for identity.
About the Author
Daren Jaime
13 responses to “The Need for Identity”
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Hi Daren,
Thank you for your post and personal story. It seems impossible to full tell the stories of the very real injustices described in your final paragraph except from inside an identified group. Anyone else would be like a reporter look ‘at’ instead of being ‘in’ a situation. What are some best practice to embrace identity and affect change?
Heyyy Julie! Thanks for asking, I just replied to Debbie and I think my answers meet both of your questions which are synonomous.
Hi Daren, You speak truth. Living in FL is not easy right now. There are a few bright spots. Around the city there are little boxes that stand on random streets. They look like miniature houses. These boxes are called Free Little Libraries. The idea is that you leave a book if you are finished with it or take a book you might want to read. I was listening to a radio interview just last week where one Little LIbrary was filled with all the books banned in the school. Not enough but maybe a start? My question is, aside from voting what recommendations would you make to help people not to trivialize or dismiss the reality of slavery, discrimination and systemic racism? Did Mounk’s writing offer you any hope? If not, do you see hope anywhere?
Hi Diane, Thank you for your response. In full transparency, I wrote this post after having to write a letter of recommendation for one of my members in Florida who is now looking to return back here to New York in search for an employment opportunity with her 5-year-old daughter. She was laid off following the erasure of DEI, as we worked as senior executives in DEI at a Florida University, so if I bled out on my post a little, please forgive me.
I think respect must be cultivated for identity, but past injustices and oppressive measures that have impacted many cannot be dismissed or minimized. An argument is raised, “That was not in my time.” This is a line offered by those who align with this trajectory of thinking, but the underlying point is hinged on the fact that much of our present is a byproduct of our past, and that cannot be ignored.
Jesus offers a glimpse of how to invoke love and peace. He consistently met people where they were in life. This was a pathway he used to show people another way. That is love, and we all could gain significant mileage attempting to do so.
Mounk also gives an anecdote in #2 of Escaping the Trap when he mentions, “Don’t Villify Those Who Disagree.” Sadly, cancel culture does not just vilify but seeks to erase anyone with an opposing viewpoint. I heard it once said that honesty and hope is a tightwalk. We must embrace honesty and be agents of hope to effectuate change. Overcoming denial and shame is also a precursor to peace and authentic healing. Diane, I know these are broad brush strokes I painted; I hope they can at least point an arrow in the right direction.
Hey Daren, Your answer makes so much sense. If your friend is anywhere close to Jax you are welcome to give her my email and I am happy to connect with her here if that could be useful. I think part of the reason I even asked the question is because I think there are scary things happening in FL and was looking to see who might have some thoughts on it. I think of Jonah being sent to Ninevah and truly have a sense that God wants repentence of all the ways we hurt one another. Peace to you.
Thanks Diane! She is so traumatized by Florida she wants out of it ASAP. (Sad) She is so hurt she says she is willing to pay more taxes here and be in peace, rather than to live down there. I will still pass it on. (smile) Appreciate you much!
Daren, thank you for sharing your witness to the 9/11, 9/12, and beyond attack. I was across the country watching it on TV. I cannot imagine what you and your fellow New Yorkers experienced. I am sorry for the losses, and all of the hard memories you have incurred.
You write, “The identity trap is a legitimate argument. The emergence of new identity factions is on the rise daily, resulting in a more isolated and divided society than ever before.” And I can’t agree more. Then you write “I wonder what it would be like if everyone were identified as God’s followers without identity?” The first quote scares the heck out of me, and the second one brings peace to my heart. Yes… what if?
Then, you get to the hard stuff. The hatred and bigotry -the injustices to the black and brown population. What is the answer to this? I don’t know. Is it as simple as getting others to understand the values, goals, and beliefs of others to know where they came from and what they are all about? Is it open conversations? I don’t think there is an answer, and not sure if you even know; I guess where I am going in all this is, is there hope for a society to give and respect identity in others and come to some sort of a kumbaya moment together?
Hey Chris! Thanks for asking. In short, I believe there is hope. Mounk’s book is a great example, but will remain unrealistic until people are willing to be authentic. There are two things people are not fond of, shame and pain. We mask it, and it just looks like we aren’t hurting, and this goes beyond race; it touches all identities. We cannot have a fresh start or a Kumbaya moment until it is dealt with. I wholeheartedly agree with Mounk, who mentions we cannot stay there. But the sad fact is, we do have to go there first.
Mounk speaks of appealing to the reasonable majority. First, we must find a reasonable majority; second, we must actively work to cultivate and convert the hearts of the unreasonable. The Bible often references “one another,” loving our neighbor as ourselves and preferring someone over our own self. We are inundated with personal preferences. This will always keep the identity trap on lock until we are willing to try different. I am prayerfully optimistic. I fear there will have to be a great calamity or catastrophe to accomplish this at the rate we are presently moving.
Daren, thank you for your raw, personal post. We are created to belong, no doubt about it. We need to see ourselves in the others who are around us. We are all created in God’s image, so we bear some resemblances to each other, and we look for those resemblances. I guess the problems arise when we choose to belong to groups whose values are so anti-thetical to those of our Lord.
I can’t begin to understand what sorts of issues you deal with in America because of the color of your skin. If there were something you wanted to share with a white woman like me, something that would bridge some of our differences because of our mutual imago dei, what would it be?
I’m not asking this question because of our assignment. I would genuinely like to know. And I am sure your answer will be unique to you and your experiences. But that is enough. I want to know you and your experiences better, if that is OK with you. It’s also OK if it’s not OK…
Hey Debbie. Totally OK on my end! Will Smith once said, “..racism is not getting worse, it’s just getting filmed”. After 9/11, there was a slogan, “If you see something, say something.” This slogan was a direct response to the terrorism we faced. I believe the Identity Trap would be unlocked if many would have the audacity to speak out against the injustices and unfair treatment so many identities face. The risk of being canceled or fear of repercussions has kept people silent while others are being injured, abused, and even killed. A person must have their own personal reckoning to the question of how they sided on the issues of racism, sexism, discrimination, justice, etc. Am I an ally or am I an accomplice?
Intentionality is also a powerful tool. It cannot be overlooked. Being intentional about listening, being inclusive, and gaining insight can be a powerful tool.
I have often preached, “You have to connect before you correct.” This is a primary reason why we fail in race, gender, and identity relationships. We spend so much time trying to correct things while spending little or no energy attempting to authentically connect that we miss the mark. When we connect, correction is more likely.
HI Daren,
I really appreciated your post and have enjoyed reading the comments and your answers. Your preaching point, “You have to connect before you correct” is similar to what we encourage new arrivals here in Africa, “Don’t compare, connect.” As you said, “when we connect, correction is more likely,” often I think that correction is in our own thinking and perspective!
Hi Daren, thank you for sharing a few glimpses into your life and particular stories of personal loss over the years. You are right that we cannot erase, ignore, or deny history, especially when it’s left remnants that still make life hard for many today. Like Chris, I would love to hear your thoughts on where you see hope for respecting identity while also coming together in love and peace.
Hey Akwese! Thanks for asking. I just replied to Chris, and I think my answer to Chris may be the answer to your question. However, if you want me to clarify things better, I am willing to do so.