Listening at a Level 3
As I took my first master’s level coaching course, one of my key learning takeaways was from the one of the premier coach training books “Co-Active Coaching” by Kimsey-House, et al.[1] As the book defined the three levels of listening, I was intrigued by Level 3 – Global Listening. Level 1 Listening is where one only listens to gain awareness for oneself and Level 2 is where the listening is more observant and other focused to have the listener empathize, collaborate, and clarify. However, Level 3 is more about what is not being said. It is where intuitive intelligence gives you “messages or clues, just below the surface….” Kimsey-House described this intuitive listening quality as having an “elusive quality,” where an open hand will hold it; (but) it will slip through a fist.”[2]
The whole realm of intuition adds an incredible dimension to coaching. What helps a coach master this “elusive quality”? Yes. It takes many coaching hours to gain greater awareness and skill in coaching, but from a Christian standpoint, we also understand our intuitive listening to be directly linked to the Holy Spirit’s guidance as we coach. There is a partnership that is embedded in the very core of our being as we give the Holy Spirit full access to our thoughts and motivations. “For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.” Romans 8:14 (ESV)
In Daniel Z. Lieberman’s book, Spell Bound: Modern Science, Ancient Magic, and the Hidden Potential of the Unconscious Mind, much more research is offered about the subconscious that plays such an integral part of how we listen, think, and act. Truly, it is a fascinating read. However, for me, his deep dive into magic and mysticism was beyond what I wanted to open my subconscious mind to since as Lieberman himself mentions “our helpers are the spirits that have embedded themselves in the wiring of our brains.”
Reading Spellbound also brought Campbell’s “A Hero with a Thousand Faces” to mind. Campbell’s view of the subconscious states:
“The unconscious sends all sorts of vapors, odd beings, terrors, and deluding images up into the mind. Whether in a dream, broad daylight, or insanity: for the human kingdom, beneath the floor of the comparatively neat little dwelling that we call our consciousness, goes down into unsuspected Aladdin caves.”[3]
There is a war within the depths of our subconscious. On the one hand, there is a deep inner longing to know God fully. As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. (Psalm 42:1, NIV) On the flip side “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9, NIV) It is interesting to note that Lieberman, in one of his online interviews, mentions that he is very careful not to address individuation in his psychiatric treatments of patients because “it is very dangerous, especially for sick people.[4] “Individuation is the process of bringing together the conscious and unconscious mind.”[5] He seems to allude to the thought that the depth of darkness within the human soul should not always be provoked. From a Christian standpoint, perhaps it is because only the work of God can bring freedom in those very deep dark areas.
Lieberman’s chief goal for writing Spellbound seems to be the desire to give the reader an understanding of how he/she can be more attentive to the subconscious and somewhat harness it for their good. He does address how important faith and the Bible are to mystical phenomena.[6] In my continued research regarding my NPO, this book gives me a greater understanding of the realm of mystery. Lynne M. Baab in her book “A Renewed Spirituality: Finding Fresh Paths at Midlife”, states “This awareness of mystery enables us to face our past more realistically…. The drive to turn inward…nurtures and is nurtured by this growing awareness.”[7] Therefore, our senses and inner longings for deeper God moments are awakened to new heights as we age. There is something to be said about leaning into what is going on beneath the surface of our consciousness, allowing time for deeper reflection and understanding and listening more intuitively at Level 3 to the voice of the Spirit.
In closing, I am reminded of Lieberman’s opening two words: “Know Thyself”[8] from the inscription on the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. However, with the complexity of the mystery of our inner being, perhaps an adjustment to that statement would be, “Know Thy God to Know Thyself.”
[1] Henry Kimsey-House et al., Co-Active Coaching: The Proven Framework for Transformative Conversations at Work and in Life, Fourth edition (Boston, MA: Nicholas Brealey Publishing, 2018).
[2] Kimsey-House et al. 64-65.
[3]“A Hero with a Thousand Faces – Google Search,” accessed February 2, 2023, https://www.google.com/search?q=a+hero+with+a+thousand+faces&rlz=1C5CHFA_enUS807US808&oq=a+hero+with+a+thousand+faces&aqs=chrome.0.0i355i512j46i512j0i512l4j0i22i30j69i60.4514j0j4&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:976681df,vid:Byli-Y8KonY.
[4] Brett & Kate McKay, “Podcast #845: Magic, Archetypes, and the Mysteries of the Unconscious,” The Art of Manliness (blog), October 31, 2022, https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/podcast-845-magic-archetypes-and-the-mysteries-of-the-unconscious/.
[5] McKay.
[6] Daniel Z. Lieberman, Spellbound: Modern SCIENCE, Ancient MAGIC, and the Hidden Potential of the UNCONSCIOUS MIND (Dallas, TX: BenBella Books, Inc., n.d.). 31-32.
[7] Lynne M. Baab, A Renewed Spirituality: Finding Fresh Paths at Midlife (Downers Grove, Illinois: InterVarsity Press, 2002).
[8] Daniel Z. Lieberman, Spellbound: Modern SCIENCE, Ancient MAGIC, and the Hidden Potential of the UNCONSCIOUS MIND.
About the Author
Esther Edwards
Esther has served in ministry leadership for over 35 years. She is an ordained minister, an ICF and CCLC certified coach, and licensed coach trainer. Her and her husband have launched their own coaching practice, Enjoy the Journey Leadership Coaching and seek to train ministry leaders in the powerful skill of coaching. Esther loves hiking, reading, and experiencing new coffee shops with friends and family. She enjoys the journey with her husband, Keith, their four daughters, sons-in-law, and their five beautiful grandchildren.11 responses to “Listening at a Level 3”
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Thanks for a thoughtful post, Esther. I really appreciated how you balanced accepting some of Lieberman’s main ideas without buying into some of his more detailed practices or recommendations. You talk about intuitive intelligence, specifically in the role of a coach. Do you think that intuition would equate to Lieberman’s conception of the subconscious or do you think it’s something different?
Hi, Kim,
I must say, this reading was a challenge for me regarding the platforms Lieberman chose to dive from to make his points.
Your question is an excellent one. I believe intuition does equate to Lieberman’s conception of the subconscious. Lieberman (p. 67)speaks of “bottom-up processing” where “instead of using logic to make decisions, it uses feelings.” Intuition is often that ‘gut feeling’ or hunch. Kimsey-House, et. al (p. 59) states that the gut feeling is “weighted toward creative possiblitiy and innovation-thinking outside the box.” Lieberman (p. 68) makes the case that those who can do both in tandem which he calls “complementary processing” score high on having better relationships.
Lol! Now we know to trust that pit in the stomach a bit more!
Esther, thanks for all the resources. I think you and I are largely on the same page with Spellbound. It’s always helpful to see different perspectives of our unconscious mind…there’s always something to learn… but I also believe there is a true spiritual supernatural element that exists we can’t ignore. In the end, I so love your wrap up: Know thy God to know thyself”, indeed!
So true, Tim. I asked the Holy Spirit to guide me as to what to read and what not to read in this book for my own spiritual wellbeing. I had a season in my life where I opened myself up to transcendentalism in an undergraduate class not knowing the powerful grip it could have and it proved to be a dark season that I repented of and moved forward from. There is no doubt that “we do not wrestle against flesh and blood…”
The three levels of listening was very insightful. I want to dig deeper into that, as well as, pay attention to HOW I am listening, not just that I AM listening. HOW.
So good.
On another note, I am so glad you brought the Holy Spirit to bear upon your post and efforts as a coach/counselor. As I read the top half of your post, I was muttering to myself about the Holy Spirit, and then, boom, you brought the Spirit to the party. thank you.
JOHN
Thanks, John.
You might want to consider taking some coach training in the future. You would make a great coach. Truly, it is advantageous on so many levels…
Ahhh Listening…James 1:19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
Like the waves beating upon the shore, James 1:19 should be tattooed on my hands so that I can be reminded to LISTEN. To my wife, to my kids, to people wiser than me. But NOPE I am quick to anger.
Sigh.
You wrote…However, for me, his deep dive into magic and mysticism was beyond what I wanted to open my subconscious mind to since as Lieberman himself mentions “our helpers are the spirits that have embedded themselves in the wiring of our brains.”
I agree….I could watch all the R rated movies on Netlix, but then I would be giving them access to the ID that Freud talks about. Not thanks.
Great post.
Shalom…
I really enjoyed your nuanced view of this week’s reading, Esther. A gem I will take a way are the 3 levels of listening.
“The unconscious sends all sorts of vapors, odd beings, terrors, and deluding images up into the mind….” and “There is a war within the depths of our subconscious.”
These quotes demonstrate your wrestling with this week’s content and its dissonance with your worldview. It is important work. The Bible Project Podcast has been wrestling with big concepts, too, lately. Specifically, they have been talking through the reality of God’s supremacy even over dark things and how he uses them for his purposes. As I read Liberman and your post, I was reminded of that concept. Knowing that God is in charge, how does that change how we interact with forces that deny his supremacy? In other words, is there a way we can use misappropriated concepts like “transcendence” and “mindfulness” to bring glory to God? Am I making any sense?
Jen,
You make a lot of sense. I like the way you asked the question regarding the “forces that deny his supremacy.” That is what so many churches are wrestling with. So many of these concepts are rooted in the needs we do have as God’s workmanship; the God given desires to know an infinite God and to gain peace and understanding amidst the realm of mystery. I struggle with how to articulate the affirmation of why it is sought after and the very valid concern of what Scripture advises us against because of the confusion and harm it brings.
Esther~
I, too, appreciate the three levels of listening. Where I truly resonate with you is how the Word of God is our response to the darkness. You quoted Campbell’s A Hero With a Thousand Faces: “The unconscious sends all sorts of vapors, odd beings, terrors, and deluding images up into the mind. Whether in a dream, broad daylight, or insanity: for the human kingdom, beneath the floor of the comparatively neat little dwelling that we call our consciousness, goes down into unsuspected Aladdin caves.”[3] One question I have for you as a coach is do you ever address, via your level 3 listening, the “terrors” as being a spiritual attack or something like that? Or do you just refer to it as the old nature? Maybe you don’t address it at all?
Hi, Pam,
Excellent questions but I could spend hours discussing this so let’s see if I just give a short answer. Prayer, the awareness of the spiritual battles we are all in, and Level 3 listening undergirds all we do when it comes to ministry. However, coaching lends itself to the client discovering what might be the root cause of the barriers that keep them from moving forward. This is usually rooted in a false belief system, which, when unearthed, can give clarity on how to move forward. What I have found in coaching, is that I don’t have to “name” anything. The Holy Spirit often makes things clear as they process. It is also much more advantageous when the client names whatever is hindering them. Coaching starts from the premise that the client is healthy and may feel stuck in some area. When there are times, where greater spiritual issues or emotional health problems arise, then I recommend other venues.
The conversation may be very different with someone coming in for pastoral counseling dealing with trauma from the past, “terrors”, or greater mental health issues.
Also, the conversation is different when it also involves teaching or mentoring regarding spiritual matters in the way of discipleship. We still use a coach approach, asking many questions for clarity, but I wouldn’t necessarily call this pure coaching.
Does this make sense?