My Evangelical Anxiety
In Evangelicalism in Modern Britain: A history from the 1730s to the 1980s D.W. Bebbington examined the four qualities of Evangelicalism: conversionism, activism, biblicism, and crucicentrism.[1] The book placed my experience of coming to faith in perspective and illuminated my understanding of the Christian and theological world into which I was born. Raised in the Lutheran tradition I understood the impact of the Protestant Reformation. Coming to a more personal faith in university I became active in charismatic and evangelical church ministries. I felt the tension between these traditions adopting a blended perspective emphasizing world missions, spiritual formation, and contemplative practices. Reading Bebbington has led me to examine my lingering evangelical anxiety embedded in long standing questions regarding how to live a congruent, spirit-led, contemplative, and evangelical Christian life.
Conversionism and assurance: For Evangelicals, confidence comes from assurance of salvation, justification, and the emboldened perspective that “God is on our side.”[2] As a young person I struggled to accept God’s love. It was in honest encounter with God and the assurance of his forgiveness and love that gave me the desire and courage to share my faith. My salvation was a slow journey of encounters not a single event that led to assurance. Though anxiety regarding my salvation was relieved new anxieties for loved-ones, my inadequacies about sharing my faith, and my role in the transformation process of others arose.
Activism: Dr. Jason Clark notes, “For Bebbington it was this new anxiety, and focus on the doctrine of assurance, that generated the activism that was distinct to Evangelicals.”[3] Bebbington acknowledges, “The missionary movement of the nineteenth and twentieth centuries was the fruit of Evangelical Revival.”[4] Evangelicals moved into communities and foreign mission fields. The desire for the conversion of others led Evangelicals to place emphasis on action, holding services, preaching, and the practical ministry of caring for the poor and outcast. I was inspired by the faith and service of the missionaries I knew and those whose biographies I read. My anxiety regarding such a step of faith was fueled by concerns about how to minister well without burning out. Bebbington validates these concerns noting the “Worn-Out Ministers Fund” of nineteenth-century Wesleyan clergy who operated under the belief that time was “scarce” and an unreasonable pace was the norm.[5] This was the missions world I stepped into, minus the fund!
Biblicism: Action meant training in preaching was emphasized over theological education.[6] Early Evangelicals believed the Bible to be the inspired word of God, affirmed its’ essential message, and encouraged devotional use. However, divisions over inerrancy and literal interpretation emerged beginning in the 1820s.[7] I wonder how this early schism contributes to the anxiety and polarization we see within Christianity today. Can I manage my anxiety in today’s polarizing environment? Considering Evangelicals who are walking away from or deconstructing their faith how might I contain and attend to their experiences? Personally, I struggle with a measure of regret having attended seminary after rather than before completing my full-time missionary service.
Crucicentrism: According to Bebbington, “The standard view of Evangelicals was that Christ died as a substitute for sinful mankind.”[8] Atonement for sins brought the reconciliation of humanity to God and fuels much of evangelical activism and service. Atonement is crucial to Evangelicals who seek to live sanctified and holy lives. I sense anxiety here, too. How does evangelical activism and the protestant work ethic cloud the sanctification process? Is the cruciform life merely giving up personal sin or the deep work of self-emptying? Does burnout trump appropriate self-care and the biblical command to rest? How often do I deny my God-given limitations in efforts to prove my worthiness? These questions deserve my regular reflection.
In Evangelicalism and Capitalism: A Reparative Account and Diagnosis of Pathogeneses in the Relationship, Dr. Jason Clark seeks to establish how anxiety and assurance is a pathway that opens up the relationship between capitalism and Evangelicalism.[9] This produces another layer of anxiety within the evangelical experience. Clark explains, “Personal narratives of the autobiographical, and stories of the inner life now held sway for emerging Evangelicals. Those who had experienced this inner assurance were able to communicate those stories throughout new emerging capitalist market opportunities by speaking, travelling, and publicising amongst other activities.”[10]
Evangelicalism and capitalism is an uncomfortable alliance. I have witnessed the benefits and dangers personally and within my context in Southeast Asia. I am guided by Jesus’ words to the pharisees in Mark 12:17, “Give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s.” As a follower of Christ and a leader I wrestle with the anxiety of reaping the benefits of the capitalistic systems while steering clear of its’ dangers. Conversely, there are similar benefits and dangers of living in governing and economic systems that lack the freedoms capitalistic societies claim. Traps and pitfalls abound so entwined are these systems. I am reminded of Will Foster’s statement during his presentation at Christ Church, “All leadership is autobiographical.”[11] I am impacted by the connection between Evangelicalism and capitalism into which I was born and must be mindful of the slippery slopes of each.
Maintaining my evangelical roots requires me to attend to the anxieties that come with being a follower of Jesus in a world that desperately needs assurance of the love and concern of God. In political and economic systems that both open and close doors for the gospel I must be discerning, act prayerfully, and maintain what Edwin Friedman described as a non-anxious presence.[12]
- D. W. Bebbington, Evangelicalism in Modern Britain: A history from the 1730s to the 1980s (London: Routledge,1989), 3.
- Bebbington, Evangelicalism in Modern Britain, 7.
- Jason Paul Clark, “Evangelicalism and Capitalism: A Reparative Account and Diagnosis of Pathogeneses in the Relationship” (DMIN diss., George Fox University, Newberg, 2018), 58. https://digitalcommons.georgefox.edu/gfes/132
- Bebbington, Evangelicalism, 12.
- Ibid.,11
- Ibid., 12.
- Ibid., 13-14.
- Ibid., 15.
- Clark, “Evangelicalism and Capitalism,” 49.
- Ibid., 62.
- Will Foster, Oxford Advance presentation to doctoral students, September 25, 2023.
- Edwin H. Friedman, A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix (New York: Church Publishing, 1999), 16.
About the Author
Jenny Dooley
Jenny served as a missionary in Southeast Asia for 28 years. She currently resides in Gig Harbor, Washington, where she works as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Spiritual Director in private practice with her husband, Eric. Jenny loves to listen and behold the image of God in others. She enjoys traveling, reading, and spending time with her family which include 5 amazing adult children, 3 awesome sons-in-law, a beautiful daughter-in-law, and 8 delightful grandchildren.12 responses to “My Evangelical Anxiety”
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Jenny, I would be interested to hear more about why you feel regret for having pursued seminary after your missionary experience. I also pursued seminary after serving in vocational ministry for quite some time, though in my case it was campus ministry instead of missionary work overseas.
I love your question, “Does burnout trump appropriate self-care and the biblical command to rest?” I think there is a real temptation to NOT rest in the finished work of Christ and NOT sabbath in our rhythms. One of my adult children reminded me of this recently, texting me how we (meaning “me” – ha!) should not allow work to become an idol, driving us (meaning “me,” again) in life. I thanked him last week for addressing that issue with me. Of course, it was a much longer text thread, and he said much more. I think it’s easy to talk about resting in the work of Christ on the cross while functionally operating as if it’s up to me — darn those “God-given limitations” — to accomplish my own salvation. Thankfully the Lord uses our kids to sometimes surprise us in their prophetic and poignant words. He did so with my son’s words.
Hi Travis,
Thank you for your question. My husband was also confused by my poorly written sentence LOL. I have since fixed it to reflect more accurately what I meant. I do not regret attending seminary. I have a small measure of regret that I was unable to do so before I left for the mission field. I did not feel particularly prepared for Asia. Though I had a long standing call and active service to international students I trusted God’s timing in my life and would not change anything. I completed my social work degree side-by-side with my Bible in efforts to discern God’s will and my vocation. My level of confidence and skill set might have been better with a seminary degree. The charismatic and evangelical environment I was in had a “Just do it” mentality which I actually do admire. I am very grateful for how God has led me and opened up the opportunity to attend seminary at just the right time. I made prayerful decisions along the way to attend to my family and the churches we were serving first in hopes that additional educational opportunities would come my way. God is faithful! Your son is so wise. What a gift! My son is also an avid sabbath-keeper! Our children are often our best teachers.
Hi Jenny,
Wow there is a lot to unpack here, but I think I too will focus on “seminary” training. Retiring from the Army was prepared to apply to seminary. Two U.S. pastors in Slovakia said, NO – just GO.
I have never regretted the decision and like yourself, I received training AFTER my time in Hungary.
I know that God trains the called and certainly I learned the hard way in Hungary…my wife’s life verse…
1 Thess 2:8 in the same way we had a fond affection for you and were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us.
Guided my purpose in Slovakia and Hungary.
I am seeking to reevaluate Acts 1:8, Deut 10:18 and 1Thess 2:8, James 1:27 to see how this will set the goals/conditions for our work in Ukraine.
Shalom….
Hi Russell,
I appreciate you mentioning your wife’s life verse. It is because of the people who have become very dear to me that I am enrolled in this program. With all the jet lag, fatigue, and brain fog I have been experiencing since returning from the UK the encouragement is timely. What about the verses you mentioned are helping you to re-evaluate your approach to your work in Ukraine?
What about the verses you mentioned are helping you to re-evaluate your approach to your work in Ukraine?
I have to say that Act 1:8 continues to be my life verse. Bebbington’s “A” in the quad reinforces my life verse.
Deut 10:18 reminds me that their is a broad spectrum of ministries we can partner with in Ukraine. This one, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4MhVivdo7Y is a Christian Soccer league. And fits the best.
HOWEVER, I met with a Ukrainian Pastor and a Ukrainian Missionary yesterday morning and I listened.
1) https://youtu.be/i4-rXA0uN8s
2) https://youtu.be/_PXcr4BqIIw?si=oBCbxUupt5kJ6E8H
I am reading the book “Stay in your lane.” By Kevin Thompson and am wrestling with a focused Christian Sports Ministry approach versus a brand band appeal to my donor base for supporting other types of ministry. Sigh…as Pooh Bear says…”Think, Think..Think…”
Hi Russell,
Thank you for sharing these videos and your heart for the Ukrainian people. I am saying extra prayers for the people of Ukraine and Israel today. It warmed my heart to see the children playing soccer knowing how much my own grandsons enjoy their sports. I am very touched by the opportunities your organization and others like it provide for displaced children. Play is an important part of healing trauma.
You touched on the experience of living under different systems in Southeast Asia. I don’t know a lot about that part of the world, so I’d be interested in an example or two: How did you see the system (economic or political) interact with the church in ways that might surprise us Americans?
Hi Kim,
Political challenges that I witnessed impacted the church in terms of an unclear process to register churches, restrictions on public meetings, laws prohibiting evangelism, and regular visits by the local police. In terms of economics, growth and development has been rapid in many Southeast Asian countries which opens a lot of doors for the gospel. Some of the more successful “missionaries” I have known were actually business people working for global corporations.
Jenny,
Thank you for your inspiring post. Phew! The whole thought of anxiety and assurance and how it shaped evangelicalism has taken me also on a reflective journey throughout my own formation. Your question
“How often do I deny my God-given limitations in efforts to prove my worthiness?” is one I have often thought about and asked myself. There is such a tension in becoming all we think God wants us to be and what He truly wants us to be. I can see why the Bible says to “work out your own salvation” because it truly is a lifelong endeavor!
My question to you is, how have you moved forward in settling these tensions in this season of your life?
Hi Esther,
I hope you are feeling better and have been able to rest!
All the reading on evangelicalism is actually very helpful because I don’t think I truly understood the history and development of evangelicalism. I am excited to unpack more.
I have had questions about some practices and beliefs that came out of evangelical and charismatic traditions. Honestly, all I see is God’s grace towards his people as we wrestle through to an authentic, sincere, and life-giving faith. In terms of moving forward with the tensions and anxieties… I am experiencing a lot of peace. Anxieties over spiritual issues (any issue for that matter) tend to slow me down. I take notice, prayerfully consider what’s troubling me, and examine my own actions and behaviors. My difficulty is that I tend to take a long time to process and make decisions. I don’t think being cautious is necessarily a bad thing…I haven’t jumped on any of the latest spiritual band wagons that I know of, but I need to be careful of becoming stuck and take more risks to speak and act.
While anxiety and holding tension is not a comfortable thing my perspective has shifted to befriending it and being curious. Anxiety is what led me to Jesus, assurance of his love brought peace and clarity about my call, a lop-sided work ethic led me to burnout, and ill health brought me back to trusting that God was more concerned about my being than my doing. Looking back at my journey those experiences led me to make adjustments, drew me closer to God, helped me experience more of his love and presence, and deepened my faith. Hopefully, I am a little wiser for it! I am still processing what may currently need to shift. I think my NPO is addressing my lingering anxieties.
Hi Jenny!
Your post gave me a lot to think about. You Wrote:
“Evangelicalism and capitalism is an uncomfortable alliance. I have witnessed the benefits and dangers personally and within my context in Southeast Asia.”
I am curious, what have been some benefits that you have witnessed? Specifically, have you seen capitalism make a positive impact in Evangelical environments in Southeast Asia?
Hi Jonita,
The first example that came to mind was the impact of capitalism in Cambodia. While I could list some negative impacts (not all solely due to capitalism) there have been incredible changes socially and economically. Having been brought to “Year Zero” by the Khmer Rouge under the Pol Pot regime the standard of living and level of education in Cambodia has risen significantly. Phnom Penh in 1993 when I first moved there is vastly different today. Cities that were not safe to visit back then are now top tourist destinations.