Leading from Your Scars
In this sequel to “Leading Out of Who You Are” by Simon Walker, the author summarizes his second of three books, “Leading with Nothing to Lose,” by writing, “We will look at the key elements of power, the particular forces involved in any transaction. Then, having established the basic elements, we will go on to look at how they combine to form patterns of power…we will use the image of an ecology of power, because the forces in play are social and the structure being built is not physical but social and emotional. Once we have understood how the ecology of power is put together from its basic elements, it then becomes possible for the leader to learn how to combine these forces strategically.” [1] Walker goes on to describe eight different combinations of “power” and how it can be used in particular situations to successfully provide leadership. He writes, “The book ends by considering how leaders can progress from using perhaps one or two of these strategies to the freedom and mobility to use them all. We will explore the idea that, while to some extent this freedom can be achieved by practice, more fundamentally it is concerned with the freedom to ‘lead with nothing to lose’.[2] Walker then lays out the eight different combinations of power and likens being able to use them to riding a bicycle, “a cyclist must learn to do all three of these things at the same time and must understand how each relates to the others.”[3] To be honest, I spent most of my time reading this book, skimming through the combinations of power, thinking, “I will never be able to actually remember these combinations!” And I know there are some for whom remembering them is important, but I am taking what Walker said, about being able to use these combinations with freedom and mobility stemming from one’s ability to be undefended, or to lead with nothing to lose, not from one’s ability to be able to regurgitate the exact combinations.
Walker’s two books have left me thinking about the advice I received from Lutheran pastor and author, Nadia Bolz-Weber, “Preach from your scars.” Bolz-Weber, is a self-described “preacher who reveals things about herself,” because, she continues, “it’s that I always try to preach from my scars and not my wounds.”[4] Having read most of Bolz-Webers public sermons and books and having hosted her to speak at a college conference I directed, I can attest to the truth of her statement. She preaches with incredible vulnerability and yet, I never feel uncomfortable about what she is admitting. Instead, I am able to say, “You too? I thought I was the only one!” This is because Bolz-Weber has worked on herself, gone to therapy, AND because she is undefended. Bolz-Weber has a deep trust in resurrection, that “Our scars and sorrows will always be part of our story but they will never be the conclusion of our story.”[5] She knows who she is and Whose she is. She belongs to a God who is “not in the sin-accounting business” but who “chose to reveal God’s self even in Jesus’ wounds.”[6]
The caveat here though is that “scars are like the metabolized remains of our wounds”[7] and when leading people, preaching to a congregation, we don’t want to bleed all over them. Doing so would gross them out and make them too uncomfortable to listen well. Instead, with God, with our therapist, with those we love and trust, we do the work of healing our wounds, letting them scab up, a scar to form, and then, like Jesus, when he met the disciples after the resurrection, we show them to people, especially when they are having a difficult time trusting any good will come of their own wounds.
I don’t know what combinations of power Bolz-Weber uses in her daily leadership. What I do know is that I have grown in faith because at least in her “front stage” leadership she shows a lot of “weakness”.[8] Her power, not coming from herself but from her rootedness in a God who “simply keeps reaching down into the dirt of humanity and resurrecting us from the graves we dig for ourselves through our violence, our lies, our selfishness, our arrogance, and our addictions. And God keeps loving us back to life over and over.”[9]
At the end of his book, Walker writes, “at its heart, leadership is really most a matter of being a host.”[10] In other words, leadership is not about being a “hero, strong, capable, brave” nor about simply being a “servant leader.”[11] I think this is why Bolz-Weber’s leadership has had such a profound influence on my own. She acts as a host, setting the table for all of us, no matter how deep and varied our wounds and scars, inviting and welcoming all of us – everyone and every part of us.
She does this, because, though, far from perfect, she is able to admit vulnerabilities, her mistakes, show us her scars, lead from an undefended place, knowing she is rooted in a God who loves her unconditionally. I hope my own leadership and preaching can do the same.
[1] Simon Walker, Leading with Nothing to Lose, location 181 out of 2753, Kindle
[2] Simon Walker, Leading with Nothing to Lose, location 181 out of 2753, Kindle
[3] Simon Walker, Leading with Nothing to Lose, location 537 out of 2753, Kindle
[4] Nadia Bolz-Weber, Interview with Krista Tippett, accessed on September 14, 2023, https://onbeing.org/programs/nadia-bolz-weber-seeing-the-underside-and-seeing-god-tattoos-tradition-and-grace/
[5] Nadia Bolz-Weber, Resurrection is Messy, A Short Sermon From Inside a Men’s Prison, accessed September 14, 2023, https://thecorners.substack.com/p/resurrection-is-messy?selection=2fc39cfa-c7f1-4ae0-9662-c5c5825544fd#.
[6] Nadia Bolz-Weber, Resurrection is Messy, A Short Sermon From Inside a Men’s Prison, accessed September 14, 2023, https://thecorners.substack.com/p/resurrection-is-messy?selection=2fc39cfa-c7f1-4ae0-9662-c5c5825544fd#.
[7] Nadia Bolz-Weber, Resurrection is Messy, A Short Sermon From Inside a Men’s Prison, accessed September 14, 2023, https://thecorners.substack.com/p/resurrection-is-messy?selection=2fc39cfa-c7f1-4ae0-9662-c5c5825544fd#.
[8] Simon Walker, Leading with Nothing to Lose, location 316 of 2753.
[9] Nadia Bolz-Weber, Pastrix: The Cranky, Beautiful Faith of a Sinner & Saint, Jericho Books, 2013.
[10] Simon Walker, Leading with Nothing to Lose, location 2508 of 2753, Kindle.
[11] Simon Walker, Leading with Nothing to Lose, location 2508 of 2753, Kindle.
About the Author
Kally Elliott
Mom of four. Wanna-be Broadway star. PC(USA) pastor. Wife. Friend. Sometimes a hot mess. Sometimes somewhat together. Is this supposed to be a professional bio?6 responses to “Leading from Your Scars”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Hi Kally, I had the same thought, “I will never be able to actually remember these combinations!” I do wish there was a cheat sheet for each of the combinations.
I so appreciate your wise counsel when you wrote, “Instead, with God, with our therapist, with those we love and trust, we do the work of healing our wounds, letting them scab up, a scar to form, and then, like Jesus, when he met the disciples after the resurrection, we show them to people, especially when they are having a difficult time trusting any good will come of their own wounds.” We all need places to go to heal our wounds and once healed the vulnerability to show those scars to other hurting souls. So well said! And thank you for another great resource in Nadia Bolz-Weber.
Wow! What a powerful blog: preaching from your scars and not your wounds. (I will use this.) The seasons of pain, hurts, and loss shape and form our lives and leadership so sharing them brings authenticity but we can’t grovel there. Sometimes I want to… However, living in light of God’s restorative work and resurrection power continues to lift us up and out to help lift others up and out.
Thank you, Kalli! See you in a few days.
Craig Groeschel always closes out his leadership podcast with the phrase “People would rather follow a leader who is alway real than one who is always right.”
I try to live by this.
Often when I speak at events, for leaders or followers, I find myself, often unplanned, sharing some of my biggest mistakes and failures. It isn’t to garner sympathy or ‘cry in my beer’ – it’s to pull back the curtain and reveal my own personal brokenness and vulnerabilities.
Of course, there is a tension to manage here. How much ought to be shared? How fresh should the pain be? I have not always gotten this right. I have at times revealed too much, and other times shared too soon (the wound hadn’t yet became a scar).
Walker’s work has been quite helpful for me in this. So has your blog. Thank you Kally.
Kally,
This was so powerful. I read it twice because it had so many nuggets that I wanted to remember. Your closing was the most impactful for me in this season of my life.
You wrote:
“She does this, because, though, far from perfect, she is able to admit vulnerabilities, her mistakes, show us her scars, lead from an undefended place, knowing she is rooted in a God who loves her unconditionally. I hope my own leadership and preaching can do the same.” Oh my, I pray that I can do the same as well.
Hey Kally! Your title really caught my attention. And even though I never heard of Nadia Bolz-Weber, I love her and I will definitely listen to her sermons, especially the one about “Preach From Your Scars” Thank you for introducing her to me. Let’s talk more about this topic in Oxford!
Hello from Denver International Airport,
Lot’s of time to dwell on your excellent post.
Walker’s tool box of leadership strategies was paradigm shifting for me. Rather a pigeon hole of “personality type” he allows us to grab a strategy that matches the situation.
I was also impressed with his concept of “hosting” it does slip in there between the Hero and the Servant, which are both valid, but not all the time.
As a war in Europe proceeds, I wonder what kind of leadership strategies will be adopted by England and the other NATO nations. Time for a resurgence of Churchill?
Shalom..