The Matrix of Christian Ethics
A friend of mine, who serves in the village of Wondo, told me a story of one of his church member, Kedir, who is a teacher, a husband of two wives and a father. A couple years ago, Kedir decided to follow Jesus with his family and be a part of the newly planted small church in Wondo village. Being sensitive to the culture and considerate to the wellbeing of Kedir’s family, the church did not ask him to divorce his second wife, which they had required of others in the past. Kedir, although he did not serve in the church leadership, was an active member of the church until he was transferred to teach in a different county about 150 km away from his village. Since both his wives have children and farms, none of them could move with him. Being away from the comfort of his homes and having never worked in the kitchen, life become very difficult for Kedir. Two years later he decided to marry a new wife from his new village. When he was transferred back to the school in his home village, Kedir brought his new wife with him. When the church heard about it, they were very saddened and did not know how to respond.
The common practice among the churches in my hometown has been to ban a polygamous person from church. A polygamous man would have no part in any church ministry until he divorces his second wife and returns to the Lord. Thus, it is utterly impossible to be polygamous and a Christian, unless the person had more than one wife before converting to Christianity. But the church in this story was new and lacking a strong leadership structure, and did not have clear biblical grounds to approve or reject Kedir’s polygamous lifestyle. Imagine you are a minister in the Wondo church, how do you treat Kedir who wants to be part of the church family with his three wives? Would you ask him to divorce his new wife and repent his sin?
While reading The Matrix of Christian Ethics: Integrating Philosophy and Moral Theology in a Postmodern Context, Patrick Nullens and Ronald T. Michener, I remembered the above story and realized that there is no easy answer to such kinds of ethical issues we face in our ministry contexts. With the freedom of interpreting the Word of God within the matrix of its own ministry situation, the church is challenged with the potential cultural biases whether to defend the biblical truth or to make the gospel relevant (p.II). Finding the biblical grounds to reject polygamy is a real challenge for the church in Wondo. Unlike the church in the city whose immediate action to Kedir would have been excommunication from church membership, this small church in the villages has been reaching out for advice to others in their region.
From my evangelical background, I realize the limitation of implying black and white answers to pressing issues in today’s church. The complexity of Christian ethics that Nullens and Michener depict in this book is a great reminder for Christians to “[probe] our deepest sensibilities as humans and how we, as followers of Christ, go about seeking “the good” for others as well as for ourselves”(p.2). This leads me to critically reflect on Jesus’ second commandment; what it means to “love our neighbors as ourselves?” I noted that our cultural and strong emphasis on certain Christian values sometimes get intermingled inhibiting us from developing a broad outlook to respect others’ perspectives. When we fail to listen we became too quick to judge; and are unable to relate, love, and share the truth respectfully. There is a critical need to create space for dialogue on contemporary Christian ethical issues so that we can learn from one another and develop healthy Kingdom perspectives.
About the Author
Telile Fikru Badecha
6 responses to “The Matrix of Christian Ethics”
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Telile, thanks for sharing this excellent real life story with us. I very much appreciate your conclusion: “There is a critical need to create space for dialogue on contemporary Christian ethical issues so that we can learn from one another and develop healthy Kingdom perspectives.” Creating space for dialogue is so important and allows for the surface emotions to subside in order to get to the core of the matters. If you were part of the leadership team addressing this issue, what two questions would you ask the polygamous man?
Telile, what a wonderful application for the book. This is an issue that I know missionaries have debated for many years. But I think it points out some important principles that can apply to so many other situations (both for the missionary and for our pluralistic world we live in). But, as your conclusion well states, that it is vital that we should listen and create space to discuss issues like these. Our approach tends to be “defenders of God’s truth” — that we see a failure to live according to our views of God’s clearly stated rules, that we often run roughshod over people in our attempt to make everyone holy! A couple questions come up in the situation of this man who marries for the third time: In this cultural setting, how significant is this issue? In other words, are there more pressing issues of faith and obedience that should be addressed, rather than making this the key focus. Further, what is this man’s perspective on the issue? Obviously in his situation, a wife is very much needed for his existence (at least in his mind). It is obviously not a sin issue, but a matter of life. With such questions and insights, and maybe a sense of compassion and understanding would determine one’s approach to the issue. Here is the matrix approach that this book suggests: considering people in the midst of our moral and ethical thinking. Maybe remembering Jesus’ words to the adulterous woman might help: “I don’t condemn you” (acceptance) that came before the encouragement “Go and sin no more.” We too often get those backwards. Thanks for a challenging and insightful post!
Thank you for your post.
As others have noted, I greatly appreciate your encouragement for making space for conversation.
There are a few questions I would like to pose beyond the insights you shared:
1. The voice of the women is silent in your narrative. What do they want? Should the church not be asking this and interested in their empowerment?
2. If the church does ask Kedir to divorce his wives (I am not necessarily suggesting here that the church should do this), is the church willing to take care of those women and/or to make sure that they are taken care of? Again as above, is it okay for the church make this decision in the first place without fully consulting with the women? If it is okay for the church to culturally do this…should it be?
3. Since Kedir’s first two wives were away from Kedir while he was also away from them…did they take new husbands? (I know my question is impertinent…but I ask it because why is it not normally a question?)
4. Of course, there is a significant difference as offered in your narrative between the familial situation of Kedir and his two wives at the beginning of the story and Kedir’s choice of a third wife at the end of the story. Whatever the move forward there is distinct differentiation between these two aspects of the story.
Thanks again for a great post. I would be very interested in learning how the church proceeds as things move forward.
I love this story, Telile. It has many implications, not just for polygamy and other cultures, but the shifting cultural values of the Western world. I have to find this again, but I remember in the Old Testament, God telling the Jews to marry according to the customs of the land. In essence, if they have multiple wives, you do that (and we know that the Jews already did that). But then Paul writes that a leader should be the husband of one wife. I wonder what changed? We don’t get that whole picture in the Bible and I wonder if we make more of a big deal about it than God. Or maybe we are supposed to make a bigger deal about it. I don’t really know.
Telile,
What an amazing post! What a story! I am glad that you did not give an answer to this dilemma. Your questions are good ones, hard ones indeed. I am curious to know what the church does decide. Perhaps when we meet you can tell me.
Yes, the whole matter of ethics is hard, especially with those areas that we would label as gray areas. The most difficult part, at least for Christians, has to do with Bible interpretation. How many new churches have started because they interpreted a particular Scripture differently than another church. And, sometimes Scripture does seem contradictory — or at the very least, paradoxical. Also, do we interpret Scripture literally of metaphorically? Most people I know do both, and that itself is inconsistent. I don’t know the answers either. Perhaps the best answer is the answer that is most loving. But even that is hard to determine sometimes. So what is the most loving this to do with Kedir? I am not smart enough to know.
Oh my goodness, Telile, this is such a difficult situation. I really appreciate the questions that Clint poses above. All I can think about it context, culture, and gospel. All of these can stand alone, but you need all three in order to begin to make the right decisions… and the key word here is begin.
Thanks for sharing this important story…