Autopilot
My younger son is freakishly good at making mental connections. Since he was little, he’s been surprising us by blurting out the most random and absolutely on-point knowledge. We used to ask him, “How did you know that, Zachary?” Or “Who told you that?” and he would say in his high-pitched 3-year-old voice, “My BRAIN told me!”
He was 100% correct; his brain was working as it was made to. His System 1, as Daniel Kahneman would call it, was taking in information, forming impressions, and weaving together a coherent “story”. All this was happening instinctually, without any intentional effort on my son’s part.[1] Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett, prominent researcher in psychology and neuroscience, explains it in this way: Our brains are constantly working in a cycle of prediction then testing those predictions against sensory input. The more input our brains receive, the better we can form concepts, be it of emotions or social rules or macroeconomics.[2]
Kahneman’s main thesis in Thinking, Fast and Slow is that our brains house two systems. To grossly oversimplify, System 1 is responsible for the involuntary, automatic, and instinctual aspects of our thinking. It is like an autopilot setting. System 2 is used when we do anything in an intentional way or engage in higher level intellectual thinking. That’s all well and good, most of the time. But parts 2-5 of the book go on to explain all the ways our brains can trick us into misunderstanding statistical information or feeling overconfident in a judgement or even inaccurately remembering an experience.
What Kahneman explains thoroughly, we know tacitly. We experience this 100 times a day when we are startled and react with a fight-or-flight response. Or when we jump to conclusions based on a look someone gave us. Or when we pass judgement on someone based on their appearance. Essentially, we are operating on autopilot, even when our rational brain could easily spot our error.
When I think of using System 1 and System 2 in my own brain, I think of the early days of learning a second language. Suddenly something I had always taken for granted, conveying meaning through my words, I just couldn’t do anymore. As the months dragged on, communication took so much System 2 effort that I was exhausted all the time. I remember wanting to spend time with new friends, but after an hour of speaking in French, my brain just shut down. Then one day (I’ll never forget this feeling) the TV was on the background, and I realized that I knew what was happening in the show even though I hadn’t been paying attention. “My BRAIN told me!” as my little son would have said.
As I think about System 1 and System 2 thinking related to my NPO, there are two important things that directly came out of my Discovery Workshop. My stakeholders identified an overriding feeling of fear as they approach parenting. This is interesting because with their System 2 thinking engaged, they were rationally able to articulate many reasons why they shouldn’t be afraid.
God is in control.
Not all kids end up running away from home/addicted to drugs/rejecting God/etc.
No parent is perfect, and I’m doing the best I can.
But nearly every parent I spoke with said that fear was a major motivator, an important reason why parents make decisions. Their System 1 was overriding their rational thinking and making them fearful even when the circumstances didn’t justify it.
Secondly, the participants in my Discovery Workshop spoke about how new parents generally rely on instinct which really boils down to however they were raised. If they were spanked, they are likely to spank their own children. If they were required to do chores around the house, they will make their kids do chores. What is even more interesting is even when a parent identifies a shortcoming in their own upbringing and they desire to make a change, it is extremely difficult to break those ingrained patterns. Why? Obviously, because their System 1 has created a concept of what is “normal” such that it becomes instinctual and automatic.
Where does that leave me as a leader with an ambition of supporting parents? This endeavor is going to be much harder than just educating parents or even coaching them to make the changes they desire for their families. Real change to ingrained thinking is a long and difficult road. Kahneman gave a Google Talk after which an audience member posed the question, “How fixed or plastic are these systems?” Kahneman’s answer was essentially that System 1 can be updated in terms of content but very difficult to control. However we can “train” System 2 and learn to recognize situations where it can take over and be of use.”[3]
As a first step on that long road toward change, we need to get out of “automatic” mode. Of course, we can’t leave System 1 behind (it’s important for things like breathing and blinking after all) but we all need to think and act more intentionally. We need to reevaluate our own judgement calls and those of others. We need to be careful to avoid jumping to conclusion and instead communicate carefully. As leaders and as parents we need to turn off autopilot and start driving (and thinking) for ourselves.
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[1] Kahneman, Daniel. Thinking, Fast and Slow. Farrar, Straus and Giroux; New York. 2013.
[2] Barrett, Lisa Feldman. How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain. First Mariner Books edition. Boston New York: Mariner Books, 2018.
[3] Kahneman, Daniel. Thinking, Fast and Slow. Talks at Google. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjVQJdIrDJ0
About the Author
Kim Sanford
11 responses to “Autopilot”
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Thanks for drawing the line between learning a second language and system 2 thinking. It made me wonder if that is essentially what culture shock is coming from: when we travel to a new culture, we are essentially forced into System 2 thinking all the time.
Also, I am curious about this training of System 2 in when to “kick in.” One of the things that helps me get out of System 1 thinking in my parenting is talking to other parents: “how did you handle this situation with your son?” or “what was important to you when your child was going through this?” These sorts of discussions often broadened my thinking… didn’t necessarily change my mind, but gave me new perspectives.
Sometime I will tell you about the “hats in church” debacle we had in our household a few years ago.
Definitely pushed me into System 2!
Your post had me thinking about Malcolm Gladwell’s “Blink” – and his work on “thin slicing,” which is our ability to use limited information from a very narrow period of experience to come to a conclusion.
This idea suggests that spontaneous decisions are often as good as—or even better than—carefully planned and considered ones.
I have utilized and even relied upon “thin slicing” many times, in meeting people, hiring, etc.
And I’ve been wrong a few times as well. My “thin slices” were simply not accurate. I thought fast when I should have thought slow.
Don’t even get me started on how many times I have gotten it wrong in parenting. Lest, I beat myself up too badly, I (and my wife) have also gotten it right quite often as well. All that to say, I love the connections you are drawing out in regards to parenting. Keep at it. You’re doing good work Kim!
Kim….your conclusion made me think of the phrase, “the first step is to admit you have a problem.” In essence, we won’t enact system 2 to help if we don’t first realize that system one needs it…at least in particular situations. Yet I am curious about just how much system 1 can be re-wired as we use system 2 to evaluate those very natural reactions/fears etc… found in system 1 and explore the origins of them–things like trauma, family of origin, etc… Could naming and addressing those wounds and biases re-train system 1 more substantively? I wonder….
Hi Kim, I enjoyed your post! You highlighted fear as a factor that overrides System 2 thinking specifically with parenting. You mentioned on my post how you were reading about emotion. I am wondering how viewing fear as an ally (befriending our fears) rather than an enemy (something to be avoided or fought against) might move parents to System 2 thinking. It’s so interesting how our brains will jump back to System 1 even after good engagement with System 2. Emotions are powerful. What helps you manage both systems when fear creeps in?
Oh, when fear creeps in…that hits close to home for me. I have battled significant worry and fear my whole adult life. I am only recently learning to reframe and step outside my worries, control what I can and let go of the rest. Definitely still in process and it takes some serious System 2 engagement.
What a great posts Kim, especially as a parent of younger children. Many decisions we make are made out of fear and responses have been wired into us from past generations. We see behaviors, we fear what kind of people our children will become if it does not stop, and we naturally default to whatever tactic we inherited. Some of our inherited tactics have proven ineffective and even harmful emotionally so I appreciate the work you are doing!
What are you learning the most about when it comes to mindfulness in parenting with your NPO research?
Thanks Adam. It’s not the answer that most parents want to hear, but that mindfulness that you’re talking about really comes from working on our own emotional health/intelligence. And it’s so related to many of the characteristics we’ve been reading about – being self-differentiated, being a non-anxious presensce, activating System 2 thinking, it’s all in there!
Hi, Kim,
So enjoyed your post and drawing attention to how fear derails our thinking. As I delve more into my NPO, fear is a big factor as ministry leaders reach the mid-season of life. Fear of the future, fear of becoming irrelevant and insignificant, fear of income loss, fear of future loss, and on and on. I plan to delve into the whole area of fear and its implications as I move forward. Thank you for expounding on it in your post. Max Lucado’s book “Fearless” has been a go to for me over the last 10 years. He states “worry is the darkroom where negatives become glossy prints.” It easily overrides all rationality.
Heavenly Father, Go before all my decisions today. Guide my S1 intuition/feelings them today. Align my S2 thinking in ways that glorify you. Amen.
Hmmm..wondering if my decision to join this program was a S1 or S2 decision.
Hi Kim, I really appreciated the connections you made with the reading. I think you brought up a very important and powerful emotion that seems to override everything…fear! I think the system 2 brain, the one that grew up in church, that memorized verses for prizes, the one that can rationally face fear and Know that God is in control isn’t enough? Does this faith in God live in the rational head or the heart? I only say this because all of my research is on the fear of death and why Christians fear is no differently than non Christians. I’m going to relate this book a bit more to my NPO, thanks for your insight. I think there are some potential ways to connect this s1 and s2 to how our brains relate and process trauma. Again, thanks for your insights, I needed them.
Hi Kim!
Thank you for your posting.
Thinking on autopilot mode is fun and easy, but it makes us reluctant to think more deeply and maturely. Talking about your NPO topic, do you think that you need S1 and S2 together and how do you make the percentage sharing of the use of the two systems proportionally?