The Leadership Game: The Weakest Hand Wins
Several years ago I won a trip to Las Vegas for hitting my quarterly goals at a previous company. When we arrived we had one rule. We could not pay for anything. That was a fun rule to keep. Part of this agreement meant we got an allowance to play at the tables. I tried my hand at Blackjack and Texas Holdem and realized the adrenaline is real when actual money is on the line verses virtual chips on an app. I left Vegas with a whopping twenty-five extra dollars in my pocket and knew gambling would never be a personal vice of mine.
When playing Texas Holdem you DON’T want your suits and numbers being too diverse. The best hands, like a royal flush, comprise the same suits and the weakest hand, a high card, have the most diverse suits (pictured right). In Leadersmithing, Eve Poole uses cards as a metaphor for various skills people need to win the game of leadership and, unlike Texas Holdem, developing a myriad of skills (cards) is essential. As I looked and read through all the skills correlated with suits and numbers, I felt a bit overwhelmed and had several thoughts float through my head like:
“Where do I begin?”…”What needs the most attention?”… “What “cards” do I have and what “cards” do I need?”
Once I reframed my thinking like Poole suggests in her chapter on effort and took to heart that “Leadersmithing takes a lifetime-so be a tortoise, not a hare.” [1] I felt better. Nonetheless, there are places in my leadership journey that need attention. I tried my hardest to read this book prayerfully and mindfully, knowing good and well this was not a devotional book.
The reason I felt the need to read it mindfully was due to the large number of skills covered. I can’t possibly work on everything at once, but I know I can work on the few things I believe God highlighted for me as I read.
One of the cards missing from my deck is the 7 of Hearts, “choreographed conversations”. I had never thought of communication as being a push or pull style and that different situations require certain versions of push and others require a particular version of pull. I think I knew the concept, but mastering its application is where I want to grow. Poole mentions Daniel Goleman’s ‘golf club’ analogy, “As in a game of golf, you would not putt with a driver, or drive with a putter.” [2] Simple idea, but one that really challenged me as I read. There are times when authoritative or coercive styles are necessary and other situations when democratic or coaching is appropriate.
Along the same lines, I appreciated the BOFF model (Behavior, Outcome, Feelings, and Future), I got to practice this immediately after reading this section with a staff member who was having some difficulties with someone in her small group. Giving people specific behaviors attached to the outcome and feelings it brings to others, then painting a picture of its possible impact if this behavior continues, is a great framework for feedback.
Another card that struck me and leads into a broader idea was the 6 of Spades, “meetings”. Poole says, “Next time you sigh when you spy a meeting in your calendar, decide to rejoice instead and schedule it in as a learning opportunity.”[3] Meetings don’t usually inspire me to rejoice, but viewing them as opportunities to play some metaphorical “cards” is exciting. To me, this is one of the strengths of Poole’s book. Exercises to practice and try out in the real world. Some of the skill sets Eve mentions I’ve had exposure to but am not practicing on a regular basis. This is where the real learning is accomplished. Poole echoes Joseph Campbell here when she says, “All wisdom traditions have tales of trials, where a hero has to be tested and found true…They are what the character expert David Brooks would call those ‘crucible moments’, when we need to be tried in the fire in order to achieve purity.”[4]
Meetings as crucible moments? Absolutely!
Giving feedback, receiving feedback, speaking up, asking questions, confronting issues, and coaching all happen in spaces where people are…. meeting. Whether it’s a scheduled one on one or a staff meeting I want to increase my wonder of “What cards should I play here?”. Not for manipulation, but to hopefully increase my influence and the health of the culture. Speaking of which, I could see how playing certain cards like power, control, posture, or gravitas could be used in a manipulate way or be perceived as such without the right motive. I have always wrestled with certain techniques used in the business world and how they translate into faith communities that are ideally centered around authenticity, humility, service, and non-judgement.
That is always the tension for me with certain books or videos that teach us how to “play the game.” When do I “play the games” of life that inevitably cause me to perpetuate certain aspects of our culture, business, politics, religion, and leadership? And when do I seek to change the game, or at least aspects of it, altogether? Just a finishing thought, for an overall very helpful and practical book on leadership that I will be diving into consistently. I printed off Appendix 1 and have it sitting on my desk so I can keep working toward playing with a very diverse hand of cards, which is the weakest hand in Texas Holdem, but the strongest in leadership.
[1] Eve Poole, Leadersmithing: Revealing the Trade Secrets of Leadership (London ; New York, NY: Bloomsbury Business, an imprint of Bloomsbury Publishing Plc, 2017), 106.
[2] Ibid.,22.
[3] Ibid., 85.
[4] Ibid., 35.
About the Author
Adam Harris
I am currently the Associate Pastor at a church called Godwhy in Hendersonville, TN near Nashville. We love questions and love people even more. Our faith community embraces God and education wholeheartedly. I graduated from Oral Roberts University for undergrad and Vanderbilt for my masters. I teach historical critical Biblical studies at my church to help our community through their questions and ultimately deepen their faith. I love research, writing, learning, and teaching. I oversee our staff and leadership development. Before being at Godwhy I worked as a regional sales coach and director for Anytime Fitness. I've been married for over 13 years to my best friend and we have two amazing boys that keep us busy.10 responses to “The Leadership Game: The Weakest Hand Wins”
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Hi Adam, I have never heard of the BOFF model. It sounds very helpful. I created a long list of the critical incidents and it can feel a bit overwhelming. I may approach it by noticing a hard thing I would rather avoid and taking the opportunity to practice the new skill. Viewing it as practice somehow makes it feel less daunting. I think I need to work the most on the Queen of Spades: creativity. Is there one critical incident that you would like to focus on?
Thanks for the response Jenny. The thing I want to focus the most on at the moment is the choreographed conversations Poole talks about. I have a tendency to use the same time of “push or pull” style and I need to incorporate different types of these styles when the situation calls for it.
I watched a documentary a while back on Netflix about creativity that interviewed the most creative people in the world from different fields and they noticed a few things that I have kept in mind and may help you on your journey of growing in creativity:
1. Everything is a remix. Most people don’t actually create anything new per se, but combine existing things to create something “new”.
2. Step outside of your norm, learn something new all the time and it will begin to create new neural pathways in the brain. One guy on the documentary was a genius, but says he feels dumb all the time because he is always taking a new class or learning something new outside his field.
3. When presenting new creations to the public it needs to be different enough for it to stand out, but not so out of the box that people can’t consume it.
Thanks again Jenny!
Adam,
Reviewing all of the critical incidents listed in the book, could make one reconsider their role as a leader. There is a lot to think about and work through. There are so many I need to work through. Who might be able to encourage and support you as you work through Appendix 1 and can keep working toward playing with your hand of cards?
Glad I’m not the only one! I have another staff member who is always wanting to grow as a leader as well. They are currently in a masters program and we push each other and share our insights so they would be the best person for support and encouragement. Great question!
What areas are you working on at the moment?
Adam, your writing always flows so smoothly! Reading your post is just like sitting in South Africa and listening to you talk. I love your down to earth deep conversations. You mentioned that you wanted to master choreographed conversations. Getting better at it is one thing, but mastering it is another. This might be a conversation for London but I just wanted to know your plan for mastering choreographed conversations. 😊
Thanks my friend, you are always so encouraging! The only way I know how to do that at this point is to listen to more of Daniel Goleman’s content on push and pull methods and start practicing! Role playing would be a good exercise as well. Thanks for getting the wheels turning! Looking forward to more conversations in London!
Hi, Mr. Harris. I felt so overwhelmed as well, and mostly it is when I get to the cards that Dr. Poole used as illustration for her points. The main lesson that I took away from the book was that leadership is something to be learned over time and grow into. Therefore, reading you post helps me to learn more, especially the idea of printing out the appendix and uses it to evaluate my leadership journey, thanks.
Thanks Noel, glad it helps! My tendency is always, “Ok, how can I start doing this now”, so seeing so many practices and exercises was overwhelming. Just have to start in the areas I feel need the most attention and go for it. Having the Appendix in front of my face to look over each week is very helpful.
After reading your post, I wonder if we read the same book. You highlighted sections of the book that I could not find meaning in. I found the large number of skills covered to be a bit overwhelming. I love that you took a mindful approach to reading this and that it resulted in you being able to focus on specific skills. Your post is motivating me to go back and take a second look at certain sections of the book.
I’m with you Jonita, my tendency is to say, “How can I start on this now!” so seeing all the exercises was overwhelming. The large number of skills kind of forces you to discern where to begin next or I could quickly fall into paralysis by analysis!