The Messy Journey
In past years, as one would observe a strong-willed child, the comment would often be made, “Well, he/she will make a great leader someday!” In other words, a strong will equals the ability to lead. In leadership circles, we often equate good leadership with numerical followership. “They must be an amazing pastor since their church is a certain number.” “That business owner is incredibly gifted because their sales are soaring.” These are all outcomes that may have elements that point to positive leadership aspects, however, what is refreshing about Eva Poole’s book is that she does not pigeonhole the vast expanse of leadership.
That vast expanse of leadership shows itself in how many books are written on the subject. Personally, between my husband and I, we have more leadership books than we care to count. We gain insight and read others’ stories, but when push comes to shove, Eva Poole’s theory rings true: leadership happens through “apprenticeship, craft, and hours of practice.”[1] Furthermore, the idea that there are those who are innate leaders and others who are not, does not resonate here. It is in the “trial and error”, no matter how messy it gets, where leaders are groomed and grown.[2]
So how do grooming and growth occur? Through her research, Poole gives a summary of critical incidents that address the question.[3] Even after 34 plus years of ministerial leadership, I was applying the checklist to my own leadership context:
- Stepping up – “check!”
- Taking key decisions – “check!”
- Coping with increasing change – “needing help”
- Managing ambiguity – “every day!”
- Taking a risk – “oh yes…too much at times.”
- Accepting when you get it wrong – “this is tough on any level…still growing”
- Key board/stakeholder meeting – “Oh yes…having to organize this for another building campaign…”
- Etc…
On went the checklist in my head. All these areas have been addressed and readdressed throughout our years in ministerial leadership. The journey is cyclical, not linear, and non-ending.
As I continued reading, I was thoroughly impressed that Poole stressed the foundational need for character in leaders to future-proof their craft.[4] The idea of writing one’s own eulogy as a leader was an excellent way to prove her point regarding this.
So what makes this leadership book different? Poole doesn’t just talk about an apprenticeship approach but gives tools to implement in whatever context is necessary. As I read through the very thorough deck of cards, I stopped at “King of Hearts – Trust”.[5]
Just this past year, we had to make a major change in trajectory regarding our church’s building plans. In 2020, we sold our 63-year-old building for a premium price and moved into a mobile situation just as Covid19 hit. Over the next year, we bought a beautiful new property and began the architectural plans. We communicated repeatedly regarding the vision and showed the beautiful new building in all its grandeur. However, the more time went on, the more prices skyrocketed. By this past summer, it was clear that our debt would be extreme if we moved forward. Did we not hear God correctly? How could we not have seen this coming? Were we exercising faith or stupidity in moving forward? By the way, this can easily be played out either way in church-building purchasing scenarios.
Poole states “credibility can be lost if results have been faked.”[6] It took much character and humility on behalf of my husband (senior pastor), our staff, and our board to call the church to a 21-day fast in August where we sought God’s face for direction. Together, there was a unanimous vote to press pause and look elsewhere. We pivoted and purchased an older building that fit our vision and within a few months’ time miraculously sold the property we had previously bought, making money on the deal.
The “trust equation” of credibility, reliability, and intimacy,[7] came into play here but certainly was not fun or easy. It cost us many nights of sleep, contemplation of throwing in the towel, and simply doubting our own leadership abilities. Kathryn Schultz asserts “relying on hard data, committing to open and democratic communication, acknowledging fallibility: these are the central tenets of any system that aims to protect us from error.”[8] However, even in our wrongness, we have opportunities for transformation.[9]
Personally, I would have chosen to be transformed in the context of a beautiful new building, but nonetheless, we have been transformed. Transformed to new levels as leaders and transformed together as a church in the messiness of this journey.
It brings a greater understanding of Job 23:10: “But he knows the way that I take and when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold”.[10] As Tom Camacho reminded us in Mining for Gold, “God’s ultimate goal in the refining process is to bring forth thriving, godly leaders for his kingdom purposes”… to “enjoy life, flourish, and bear fruit.”[11]
[1] Eve Poole, Leadersmithing: Revealing the Trade Secrets of Leadership (London ; New York, NY: Bloomsbury Business, an imprint of Bloomsbury Publishing Plc, 2017), 3.
[2] Ibid, 2.
[3] Ibid, 10-11.
[4] Ibid, 55.
[5] Ibid, 53.
[6] Ibid, 154-156.
[7] Ibid, 155.
[8] Kathryn Schulz, Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of Error, First Ecco Paperback edition (New York: Ecco, 2011), 306.
[9] Ibid, 294.
[10] “Bible Gateway Passage: Job 23:10 – New International Version,” Bible Gateway, accessed February 16, 2023, https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Job%2023%3A10&version=NIV.
[11] Tom Comacho, Mining for Gold: Developing Kingdom Leaders through Coaching (La Vergne: IVP, 2019), 91-92.
About the Author
Esther Edwards
Esther has served in ministry leadership for over 35 years. She is an ordained minister, an ICF and CCLC certified coach, and licensed coach trainer. Her and her husband have launched their own coaching practice, Enjoy the Journey Leadership Coaching and seek to train ministry leaders in the powerful skill of coaching. Esther loves hiking, reading, and experiencing new coffee shops with friends and family. She enjoys the journey with her husband, Keith, their four daughters, sons-in-law, and their five beautiful grandchildren.8 responses to “The Messy Journey”
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Hi Esther,
I have been reflecting on the suggestion to write one’s own eulogy as a leadersmithing activity. I was wondering if you had done an activity like that? I did it when I was about 15-years old as part of my confirmation courses. I found it really impactful. Most of my class found it morbid and did not do the assignment. I think some parents were probably upset. I think it served me well and helped me consider what type of life I wanted to live. I can see the character building benefits. I wish I had a copy of it. Strangely I don’t know if I am as brave enough to do it now. Can you tell me more about why that activity intrigues you?
Hi, Jenny,
I actually worked through my own eulogy as I developed a Life Plan seminar in my Master’s Program in 2019. I agree. It is such an advantageous tool to see how you can tangibly live out your legacy with intentionality. At that time we had used the book, “Living Forward” by Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy as a guide. Their first exercise was to ask yourself “How do you want to be remembered?” Then write several legacy statements in reference to God, spouse, children, parents, extended family, colleagues, and friends. The continuing exercises truly helped focus forward intentionality. The book is a small, easy read but a deeply reflective and empowering tool. After writing this, I think I may work through it again.
Michael Hyatt and Harkavy, Daniel. Living Forward: A Proven Plan to Stop Drifting and Get the Life You Want, Illustrated edition. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Baker Books, 2016.
Thank you for sharing your insight into the struggles of making difficult decisions, as leaders, during the covid19 pandemic. Some of the struggles you mentioned mirrored some of our ministry struggles during that time. In January, prior to covid closures, our church started a major renovation project of the lobby, offices and conference room spaces with a reputable GC in the area. For many weeks the project sat unfinished, with little to no progress. My husband, the senior pastor, had to make some difficult decisions. Our community fasted and prayed. In the end, it was discovered that the GC abandoned the project and fled to another state, without contacting the other parties involved in the project) with a large sum of money from the church’s prepaid portion of the project. The whole situation has been settled and justice was served but it was a difficult time as leaders. With humility, the leaders and staff surrendered their hopes and dreams daily and trust Jesus in the process. In some incidences it felt as if momentum was lost, but God is a loving Father, who has a unique way of refining and reorienting our hearts for new momentum.
Oh, Cathy! What a nightmare. I’m so glad it all was settled over time, but I’m sure it was a very trying time as well. You are so right. Surrendering our hopes and dreams personally and as a church brings us to a new level of trust so that he can reorient for new and perhaps greater momentum. I have to continually come back to the realization that it is His church and it will not fail.
Thank you for sharing your story. COVID-19 really changed the landscape for many Churches and Churchgoers. Your questions, “Did we not hear God correctly? How could we not have seen this coming? Were we exercising faith or stupidity in moving forward?” are questions that we have all asked. Shultz is spot on, “Even in our wrongness, we have opportunities for transformation.” There is an invitation to grow and transforming even when we get it wrong. Praise God!
Amen to that, Jonita! Our mistakes and missteps are deeply tranformational and give us the humility to sympathize with others.
Hi Esther!
I like how you relate the leadership formation process that you and your husband are going through with a good spiritual relationship with God. As senior church ministers, you and your husband have certainly experienced a lot of leadership formation processes that God has allowed to occur in your ministry. This is what Poole as a leadership apprentice still has to learn from with humility, loyalty and perseverance. Thanks for your story!
Thank you, Dinka! The many years do bring much perspective. I’m excited for all the Lord will do through you and your wife’s ministry together.