Uncommon Habits for Uncommon Leaders
Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder wrote Rare Leadership: 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Love in 2016. Since that time this book has undoubtedly been a benefit to many Christian leaders wanting to improve their effectiveness and ministry. But like a key note speaker whose opening banter drags on for too long, a book that possesses a Forward, a Preface, and an Introduction, can make the reader grow anxious; get on with it, gentlemen. The book falls within the non-fiction/leadership/Christian Ministry genres. The book is unique, however, in that the closing section of each chapter includes a short discussion of our modern understanding of the brain. This underscores and strengthens the principles the authors teach in each particular chapter. The result is a book that has plenty to teach about Christian leadership but also backs it up with modern understand of the inner-workings of our brains. In this regard the book shares affinities with Van Der Kolk’s, The Body Keeps the Score. With both, the premise is the physical body reveals what is transpiring in an individual’s mind and soul. Our exterior physiology discloses interior impulses, fears. Warner and Wilder assert, “The conclusion of this new science is that relational joy is the natural means for growing a strong, resilient mind” (p. 65).
The thesis of this book is that the fruit of four uncommon habits related to emotional intelligence is a dramatic increase in trust, joy, and engagement in the people you lead (p. 13). The authors go on to describe these four habits with the acronym RARE. “They are: Remain Relational, Act Like Yourself, Return to Joy, Endure Hardship Well” (p. 19). Chapter seven is entitled, “Remain Relational,” and it is their strongest chapter in the book. There are many books on leadership and almost all of them will have a chapter that focuses on persevering when difficult times arrive. The authors do a great job of discussing the tension that comes between getting the job done while maintaining relationships. They state, “Emotionally immature leaders have almost no capacity to remain relational in the face of big problems” (p.123). The tendency is to focus on the problem and not your coworkers—the very people who can help solve the problem. In my own experience, I viewed the problem as the people. I go into crisis mode, exclude others, and focus on the problem to the exclusion of other responsibilities. Other leaders I have talked to have a similar default setting. To overcome this inclination, we must recognize that we have this coping mechanism. This was not so easy: I would rationalize that I am being responsible and working hard. “I’m facing the problem head-on, and seeing the problem through to then end,” was my mantra. But that mindset should not come at the expense of alienating others. The authors help solve this problem by providing four strategies that can help leaders who struggle in this area. The first is Curiosity, meaning leaders should be curious if others have a possible solution. Don’t just see problems, but be open to seeing unique solutions. The second is Appreciation, and they affirm, “Appreciation attracts, while resentment repels” (p. 130). Keep reaching out to others and let them know that without their input, the goals of the organization would not be accomplished. The third is Kindness, which should be easy for Christians to do, but when the pressure is on, kindness can easily be thrown out the window. The authors teach not to let this happen: “Shared joy is perhaps the most powerful relational experience that exists” (p. 132). Lastly, there is Envelope Conversations. By this the authors mean, “You start with the history and importance of the relationship, then you discuss the problem, finally you end with the hope that the relationship will be even stronger” (p. 133).
This book has many unique contributions, but there are also many similarities to other books we have read for this program. One is Tod Bolsinger’s Tempered Resilience. Bolsinger teaches that change and maturation occurs in the crucible of difficult times—and if a leader is going to be worthy to lead others, they have to endure these difficult times. Leadership requires a person to be willing to change and that takes tenacity. Warner and Wilder agree and they spend many pages developing their idea under the heading, Endure Hardship Well. But Warner and Wilder discuss the fruits of coming out on the other side of trying times better than Bolsinger. The fruits are joy, trust and engagement.
This book is also similar to Friedman’s, A Failure of Nerve in that we need to have courage and convictions. This is especially true when nobody is demonstrating courage and boldness but just ‘managing’ the situation. But where Friedman speaks frequently of courageous leadership in the face of difficulties, Warner and Wilder speak of trust and joy to be the most effective leader you can be. The authors come at the motivations of great leaders from different approaches.
This book is also similar to Western and Garcia’s, Global Leadership Perspectives in that these authors recognize that effective leadership takes different forms; it is the underlying qualities of the leader that makes for great leadership—no matter what country or culture a leader occupies. Western ad Garcia emphasize the complexities of leadership because the complexities that exist in culture. Warner and Wilder would not disagree—and they would offer their four habits as a solution that would help a leader become more effective.
The authors combination of faith with modern day science of the brain is powerful. “The conclusion of this new science is that relational joy is the natural means for growing a strong, resilient mind.” What science has proven scripture also teaches: “The joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10). Joseph Campbell, who famously said, “Follow your bliss,” would agree that when you have others on the journey with you, it can make it that much sweeter.
About the Author
Troy Rappold
B.A. Communication - University of Colorado M.Div. Theology - Cincinnati Christian University Currently enrolled in D. Min. program at George Fox University6 responses to “Uncommon Habits for Uncommon Leaders”
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Troy,
You wrote, “The authors’ combination of faith with modern-day science of the brain is powerful. ‘The conclusion of this new science is that relational joy is the natural means for growing a strong, resilient mind.’”
There are many fascinating angles to this statement. For one, cognitive psychology has recently found the power of belief in transcendence and its effects on our well-being: https://neurosciencenews.com/religious-accountability-wellbeing-20126/.
At the same time, all of the emotions we have are God-given. Do you think we often proof text Scriptures on certain emotions to simplify what they are and why God gave them to us? I specifically think about fear, anxiety, and worry. I can just hear a pastor preaching, “But the Bible says to not worry about anything.” Easier said than done when someone has clinical depression and anxiety.
Troy, thanks for pointing out so many correlations to previous readings. You mention the chapters having a conclusion that includes brain science. Form you experience in church through the years, what do you think would be the reaction to people on Sunday in a service hearing a pastor include brain science along with teaching from the BIble? Do you think people would be open to that or do you believe they would “push back” on that approach to understanding their relationship and life together with God and each other?
Troy, good thought about connecting the book to both Bolsinger’s book as well as The Body Keeps the Score. That is a good observation. Were there any items in the book that you strongly disagreed with?
Troy: I’d love to ask you a bit of a random question in regards to your quote, “In my own experience, I viewed the problem as the people. I go into crisis mode, exclude others, and focus on the problem to the exclusion of other responsibilities.” I know you are one that appreciates history — is there a specific event or period in history where you can clearly identify that the decision/actions of the leaders were due to exactly what you describe?
KH: Martin Luther comes to mind. He was belligerent, loud, proud, outspoken, and steamrolled over people who disagreed with him. Yet, God chose him to bring to light all the errors the Church Universal had allowed in. He was also incredibly foul-mouthed!
Troy thank you for your approach to the book this week.
You said, ” But where Friedman speaks frequently of courageous leadership in the face of difficulties, Warner and Wilder speak of trust and joy to be the most effective leader you can be.” What are the correlations between courageous leadership and leading from trust and joy?