The Treasure of a Good Friendship
I am sitting by the pool at the Polynesian Resort at Walt Disney World. Between winter storms, loss of power, evacuating, and migraines (due to the winter storms and stress), I did not get my post done prior to this trip. So here I am. Not a bad place to sit for a bit and get some work done. I am here with husband and my best friend. Kim and I realized that we have been friends for almost thirty years and reflecting back over those decades of friendship, I am awed at what the Lord has done. I can see elements in our friendship that Tom Camacho describes in his book, Mining for Gold.
Camacho writes, “Like Barnabas in the Bible, our role is to walk beside the leader we are helping.”[1] For the past three decades, Kim has walked beside me, and I have walked beside her. We have encouraged one another, cheered for one another, supported one another through all the ups and downs of life. Even as I am struggling to write this post because I am overly tired, Kimmie comes to the rescue. She shares with me from her own leadership experience as a nurse, how important it is to help a person find their “why.” She told me if they do not know their why then when the hard times come, they will not last.
As I am talking to my friend, I am amazed at how far she has come in life. This is not the same extremely shy woman I met as a college freshman who would barely look at you, let alone speak to you. She told me that leaders help others to see the best in themselves, to find their potential. Right in line with what Camacho wrote, “God sees leaders waiting to be discovered.”[2] That is what we have done for each other.
Tom Camacho describes four parts to Coaching Leadership:
- Deep listening
- Asking great questions
- Cooperating with the Holy Spirit
- Determining the next right steps.[3]
For someone who has not read this book, my friend certainly understands the principles. She is not as shy as she once was, but her shyness taught her the value of listening to people. She will let you talk and share your story. She engages you with great questions and hard-won insight.
Kim is not your typical church-going Christian, but she is vocal about her faith. She will ask God to show you the right path. She does this in a non-traditional way that us authentic and real. Camacho writes, “The Holy Spirit does the work of refining. He is in charge, not us. Our role is to learn to work in dynamic cooperation with him.”[4] She would not put it in these terms, but Kim lets the Holy Spirit guide her. The Holy Spirit shines brightly through her in the way she lives her life. When it comes to the next steps, Kim trusts in the Lord to guide her path. She will encourage me to find my path, to ask God to show me what to do.
My friendship with Kim is treasure I did not expect to find when we first met all those years ago in college. I think that is what most speaks to me right now about this book. We will find treasure in the most unexpected places if we just take the time to look. I almost missed out on this friendship. When I first met Kim, I must sadly admit that I remember thinking I was doing her a favor by sitting with her in the dining commons. The reality is that I am blessed because she chose to be my friend.
[1] Tom Camacho, Mining for Gold: Developing Kingdom Leaders through Coaching. (London, Inter-Varsity Press, 2019), pg. 63.
[2] Ibid. pg. 9.
[3] Ibid. pg. 59-60.
[4] Ibid. pg. 6.
About the Author
Becca Hald
Becca is an ordained Foursquare minister, serving as the Online Community Pastor at Shepherd's House Church. She has over twenty-five years of leadership experience both inside and outside the church. Becca has served her community in many capacities ranging from Administrative Assistant and Children’s Ministry Director to Secretary and President of multiple school organizations. She and her husband, Andrew have been married for over 25 years. They have two adult children, Drew and Evelyn. Her great passion is to equip others, to raise awareness about mental health, and to help reduce the negative stigma surrounding mental health issues. In her free time, she loves going to Disneyland, reading, sewing, and making cards.13 responses to “The Treasure of a Good Friendship”
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Becca,
Sweetest post award….:), :)!
I am glad you could be with your friend in FL! I know that you were there supporting her as she had a speaking opportunity. I pray this went well! I am sure she did great!! You are blessed to have the friendship you have!! I like how you related this to the book this week.
I am challenged by this one line and am praying that God would show me how there is gold in the relationships that are in my life-
“We will find treasure in the most unexpected places if we just take the time to look”
I am curious how your friend would write this blog about you, as her friend. What would she would say about you? I am sure she would recount wonderful stories including the day you sat next to her in the dining hall!
We will find treasure in the most unexpected places if we just take the time to look
Thank you Kristy. This trip was just for fun. Her speaking engagement is in June. 🙂 There is so much treasure to be found in unexpected places. I think some of my deepest friendships have been with people I never expected. I know that Kim would write an encouraging blog about me. She has told me often just how much our friendship has meant to her. The ability to mutually share with one another, support, and encourage one another is one of the most important aspects of friendship. Spending time with her is like a breath of fresh air.
Becca,
What a privilege to have a friend such as Kim and I’m sure she feels the same about you.
What gold nugget did Kim find (or mine) in you and then helped to refine so that it is now pure gold in your life?
Thank you Audrey. I would say that one of the gold nuggets Kim has taught me is to see how God works in unexpected places. She reminds me to not take myself too seriously. She reminds me that it is okay, and even important to remember to take care of myself. She has taught me that family is not just the people who are related by blood. She is my sister and I am so very grateful for her.
What a beautiful tribute to your friend. Did you share this post with her? I love that you saw the principles that Comacho shared in Mining For God in your relationship with her. I bet she would love to read your words, Becca! Enjoy Florida! I was just there last week and I miss it already.
Thank you Laura. I told her that she inspired my post, but I need to share it with her. She already knows most of what I wrote, but I know she would be blessed to read it.
Becca,
I have to admit you have really surprised me at times, you are such a gift with your writing but also being spirit led. I appreciate that you truly want to be friends with people. I believe this is one your strongest gifts in being relational, vulnerable, and transparent with others.
I just want to say to you “well done.”
Thank you Greg. I truly appreciate your encouragement. I grew up in a toxic environment, so it does not come naturally for me to know my value, but I am getting better at being confident of who I am in Christ.
Becca,
In Exodus 15 Moses and Israelites just crossed the Red Sea and experienced several miracles of God’s love and provision. They went a couple days without water and came to the bitter waters Marah.
I believe God has chosen you and for you share that sweet living water with others. I also have come realize that people who have gone through some stuff, seem to have more empathy, compassion, and love for others.
I believe from your experience this will always give you an edge in leading others.
God has good things for you. Bless you!
It is quite hard not to call you friend Becca because you are an expert at showing yourself friendly. I believe that it is a pleasure for anyone to call you friend. Keep mining and doing God’s work.
Thank you Shonell, that means so much to me. I have worked hard to be that friend. I am so grateful for the work the Lord has done in my life.
“Tom Camacho describes four parts to Coaching Leadership:
Deep listening
Asking great questions
Cooperating with the Holy Spirit
Determining the next right steps.[3]”
I wonder…… Where do YOU start when asking great questions? Do you have a list of normal starting points or do you allow the holy spirit to guide your words?
I personally have 1-3 to start us off…. and then Im like… ALRIGHT GOD- WHERE DO YOU WANT THIS TO GO!?
Alana, great question! I think it depends on the situation, but mostly I allow the Holy Spirit to guide me.