Hope for the Future
Comacho has taken a brilliant approach in weaving the analogy of gold refinement and applying it to the realm of coaching for Kingdom leadership development. The idea of refining, becoming, and empowering drew me as a teenager to Job 23:10. I memorized it and often quoted it to myself through the years. Though I was an insecure, shy teenager, the thought of God and trusted leaders seeing greatness in me gave me deep hope for the future.
Comacho echoes this by mentioning two questions that deeply resonate on our human level. 1) “Who have you created me to be?” and 2) “What have you created me to do to serve you and your kingdom?”[1] Comacho goes on to share how complexity and isolation derail the deep work needed to unpack these questions in our lives. I have been in ministry for over 34 years and know that, though there are many I engage with and minister to, there are usually only a trusted few that I can truly go deep with. The beauty of coaching is that there is a drawing out of the complex, underdeveloped raw material in the context of community. For those of us who are Christ followers, the added dimension of centralizing the Holy Spirit as a thought partner in the process adds immense power and insight to our human efforts.
This is liberating for someone like me who tends to own others’ outcomes or wonder if I could have done something better to produce a better outcome. As Comacho reiterates the Holy Spirit “does the heavy lifting. He does the molding and shaping, not us”[2] Kathryn McElveen in her article “The Inner Life of a Coach” distinguishes the Spirit’s voice in her coaching as helping her connect her “soul” to her “role” so that truth can come to the forefront.[3] Coaching emulates this concept by holding to the fact that the client is the one who must take ownership of their own journey. The coach is not to lead or prescribe but listen deeply, ask questions, and help process toward forward motion.
These components of listening deeply, asking questions, and processing forward are what drew me into the arena of coaching in 2015 when I took my first coaching course. I have always been a developer of people, mining for gold in a variety of ways through music education, pastoral ministry, and diligently raising four daughters through the years. However, I had no idea how powerful the tool of coaching could be until I began coaching and being coached myself seven years ago. Proverbs 20:5 so aptly states “The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.” Bringing clarity to the complex through coaching can, as Comachio states “bring momentum to our efforts”[4] and hope for the future as leaders. In closing, I ask:
What refining process needs to take place in your own life?
Have you ever considered hiring a coach?
What gold are you uncovering in someone else’s life?
.
[1] Tom Comacho. Mining for Gold: Developing Kingdom Leaders through Coaching (La Vergne: IVP, 2019). 34-35.
[2] Ibid, 95.
[3] Michael Cheuk, “Kathryn McElveen on ‘The Inner Life of a Coach’ – Christian Coaching Magazine,” accessed January 17, 2023, https://christiancoachingmag.com/kathryn-mcelveen-on-the-inner-life-of-a-coach/.
[4] Tom Comacho, Mining for Gold: Developing Kingdom Leaders through Coaching. 49.
About the Author
Esther Edwards
Esther has served in ministry leadership for over 35 years. She is an ordained minister, an ICF and CCLC certified coach, and licensed coach trainer. Her and her husband have launched their own coaching practice, Enjoy the Journey Leadership Coaching and seek to train ministry leaders in the powerful skill of coaching. Esther loves hiking, reading, and experiencing new coffee shops with friends and family. She enjoys the journey with her husband, Keith, their four daughters, sons-in-law, and their five beautiful grandchildren.9 responses to “Hope for the Future”
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I see so many parallels between coaching and parenting, one of which you mention here. The client (or child) is ultimately responsible for their own growth, change and pursuit of Jesus. A good coach, just like a good parent, can be an enormous asset, but ultimately the responsibility rests on each individual to forge his or her own path forward.
I see the parallel that you are drawing, Kim. However, regarding the actual discipline of coaching, parents usually fall far from the mark. Because of our role, we tell much more than we ask. My husband and I have become much more intentional in using our coaching skills with our grown daughters and sons-in-law and it is paying rich dividends. They now often call us and specifically ask for us to coach them. As we coach them and have them come to new points of discovery, they take ownership for their own forward motion.
Listening deeply and asking good questions — these are good disciplines for those who wrestle with wanting to control outcomes. I resonated with how you described this tendency. I walk away from coaching conversations often thinking that very thing — what could I have done better to have helped steer the conversation toward a better outcome? Your (and Camacho’s) reminder of the Holy Spirit’s active role in the coaching process is indeed liberating, especially for someone who often wants to be right or in control. This takes the pressure off of the coach and roots and grounds the coach in a more solid identity (in Christ).
It does take the pressure off. You stated it well…it “roots and grounds the coach in a more solid identity (in Christ)”. How do you remind yourself to stay in that frame of mind?
I love good questions! You highlighted two very important ones from the reading this week. “Who have you created me to be?” and 2) “What have you created me to do to serve you and your kingdom?” I am wondering with all your various roles in music education, ministry, parenting, and coaching how your answers have grown and changed over time? What gold within yourself are you mining for as embark on this doctoral journey? I will be considering your closing questions. Thank you!
Jenny – Your questions certainly have been the backdrop of my inner life for the last year. This season of life has brought quite a rich convergence of all my past experiences, scriptural gleanings, life learnings, and ponderings. Who am I in the midst of all the changes that life has brought in the mid to later season of life and how can all I’ve been through continue to form His intentions in me? Deep within there lies a continued, relentless desire to know Christ more, graft further into his vine of love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge and also make a difference in the lives of others. Yet, I am sabotaged many times with my own physical hindrances, mental patterns, and inmost wrestlings. I desire to see all this futher be used in some way for God’s greater purposes in the Kingdom but am not sure how that will play out.
The doctoral program was a deep dive to mine greater gold in my life. I am currently in Taiwan visiting our son-in-law’s family (actually I have thought much of you being in the Southeast Asian part of the world 😊 ) and trying to keep pace with my schoolwork, dealing with very real jetlag, and effectively trying to be present to family. I question all that I have taken on, but yet that longing continues. The longing to keep mining the gold in myself…
We will have to meet for online tea to continue the conversation.
Esther I like your words and reflections and that you ended with good questions. I’m wondering who do you go to for guidance? I always believe good therapist, good pastors, good chaplains, good coaches are ones who continue to get coached themselves. I see a lot of parallels with coaching and spiritual direction…they all require good listening and asking questions. Thank you for your reflection.
Through the years I have sought out counselors and other pastor friends, but in the last few years, coaches have been my go to. I have not used a spiritual director but would like to in the future.
Yes. They are similar, yet different. Spiritual direction centers around going deeper spiritually, more specifically around “holy listening”, whereas, though a coach may ask you what God may be saying to you, the goal is not specifically centered solely around going deeper spiritually. The purpose of a coach’s questions are to evoke awareness in whatever areas are needed, whereas, a spiritual director’s questions are specifically designed for spiritual growth and hearing God’s voice. Another difference is in who the expert is in each field. In coaching, the expertise lies within the person being coached, and in spiritual direction, the expertise lies more in the spiritual director guiding and giving insight. When I teach the foundations of coaching course, we unpack the differences and similarities of each. They are all needed but serve different purposes.
Which of these spark your interest?
Oh, Esther, I love your blogs because you write with your heart! As I processed your words it was actually the last sentence that really resonated with me. “What gold are you uncovering in someone else’s life?” I thought about my wife, kids, intern, therapists, board members, and friends. Then I asked myself, who am I intentionally working with to uncover gold? How am I trying to uncover it? These are questions I will ponder over the next few days. Thank you!