Written by: Kristy Newport on January 12, 2023

I want my relationship with Jesus to look like the one Peter had. Like Peter, Jesus is foremost my Savior and Creator, but I believe He also is my coach. Camocho provides a resource for those who are interested in coaching and what to look for in a coach in his book Mining for Gold.  Camocho provides many examples in his book as to what coaching looks like, and he illustrates this with Peter and Jesus’ relationship in the Bible. In this blog I will look closely at several verses in Matthew where Peter asks to join Jesus walking on the water..

What kind of relationship did Jesus have with Peter? Camacho states that there was gold “waiting to be discovered in Peter” [1] Discovery takes time, patience, and a relationship where trust has been established. “In order to see the gold God has placed in a person, we need to see them with the eyes of the Spirit. To draw out someone’s potential, we need to cooperate with the Spirit of God.” [2]  This is how Jesus was able to approach Peter. Peter demonstrated a great amount of faith in Jesus as he “was the only one to walk on water when the rest of the disciples trembled in the boat with fear.” [3] Hopping out of boats during storms is not an everyday occurrence. Camocho describes those who are in relationship to Jesus; “loved sons and daughters think differently. They know the foundation of their Father’s faithful care. Fear has been driven out by love.” [4] This is the kind of relationship Peter had with Jesus. Peter wanted to join Jesus in the most wild and chaotic circumstances because he knew he had nothing to lose. Defying some natural laws with Jesus would be better than staying in a boat with knee-knocking disciples. Looking at this relationship encourages me to consider my relationship with Jesus. Everyone around me can be terrified, but how am I joining Jesus?: “Hey, Lord, I would love to join you on this tempest sea!”

Before we are overly inspired by Peter’s maverick example, looking at Matthew’s account of what took place on the Sea of Galilee is prudent. In Matthew 14:22-33, we find that it doesn’t take long after Jesus says “Come” to Peter that Peter is out of the boat beginning to move toward Jesus– but then he sees the wind. He is afraid and begins to sink, yelling: “Lord, save me!”  How many sermons have we heard on how Peter needed to keep his eyes off the storm but on Jesus? I would like to focus on Jesus’ response to Peter’s drowning. I believe it is important to look at Christ’s response, not just his words but everything that is communicated in this scene.

“Immediately Jesus reached out His hand and caught him.  You of little faith, He said, why did you doubt?” v.32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.

Jesus comes to Peter’s rescue. Jesus swoops in like a superhero to help Peter, but how can Jesus say what he said to Peter? Initially it looks like Jesus puts Peter down by saying “You of little faith,” this sounds like the opposite of what a good coach might say, it’s far from: “You have what it takes.” How can Jesus be so unkind and lacking empathy towards Peter? Some argue that Jesus was “chiding” Peter or was “exasperated” in asking, “Why did you doubt?” [5]  Any counselor or coach would think that asking a “why” question is not advised. But we find Jesus asking: “why?,” “Why did you doubt?” Upon first glance we may find Jesus sounding punitive and lacking love for Peter, but I beg to differ for several reasons.

There are several noteworthy contextual clues that help to interpret what Jesus says to Peter from a different lens. First, we find Jesus communicating with His physical body by “immediately reaching out His hand to catch him.” In Kate Purmal’s book, Composure- The Art of Executive Presence, she notes:

“People decide how competent you are in 100 milliseconds. When it comes to projecting competence, 7 percent is attributed to words, 35 percent to your presentation, and 55 percent to your body language.” [6]

Jesus’ body language communicates love, support, assistance, and saving measures and it might be argued that this is the most important thing to consider in the communication that Jesus gives Peter. If Jesus’ body language communicates that he was for Peter, how can Jesus’ tone and use of a “why” question be interpreted as unloving?

Another argument might be Jesus asking him “why did you doubt?” was actually very loving, because Peter truly did not have any logical reason to doubt. Asking why he did was an appropriate question, because if he’s thinking through this logically again in the future, he can rely on personal experience and say “yes, I truly have no reason to doubt God right now.”

The last reason I will provide for Jesus’ question to Peter being a loving one is based on the existing relationship that Peter and Jesus had prior to the scene on the Sea of Galilee. In Matthew 4:18, there is the account of Jesus calling the first disciples. Peter, along with his brother Simon, are among the first. Peter and Simon’s response is in Matthew 4:22, “immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him.” What was it about Jesus which prompted this kind of response? Kate Purmal, in her book Composure, describes a leader who gains trust quickly: “Power comes with being perceived as authoritative, which encompasses confidence, credibility, and communication.“ [7] Jesus demonstrated these characteristics and won the hearts of these men. Trust had grown between Peter and Jesus, enough for Peter to say, “Lord, if it is you, tell me to come to you on the water.”  When Jesus asked him “Why did you doubt?” Jesus could be saying: “You know me, Peter, and you know that I will always have you.”

How am I joining Jesus? When am I jumping out of the boat because He has said, “Come?” Recently I am joining Jesus as I watch my adult children make choices for themselves. The sea often appears stormy and I am reminding myself of His faithfulness in the past. I am grateful that my children each have relationships with Jesus and I am praying Scripture over their lives often. Instead of focusing on their lives, I am looking to Jesus and depending on Him for outcomes I am not in control of. This relationship with Him is a ride, but I would not want to be anywhere else.

[1] Camacho, Tom, Mining for Gold, 2019 p.96

[2] Ibid. p.17

[3] Ibid. p.97

[4] Ibid. p.115

[5] Copenhaver, Martin B., Jesus is the Question, 2014, p.38; Tasker, R.V.G., The Gospel According to Matthew, Tyndale New Testament Commentaries. 1978, p.145.

[6] Purmal, Kate, Composure: The Art of Executive Presence, 2021, p.205

[7] Ibid. p.206

About the Author

Kristy Newport