Sabotage Happens
There is an incredible amount of vulnerability in being exposed, as well as the elation that you are not alone. It is a comfort and joy when you encounter someone who describes your lived experience and how you felt about it, only to learn that is exactly how others have felt too. That is the best way I can describe Tod Bolsinger’s book, Tempered Resilience: How Leaders are Formed in the Crucible of Change[1]. Bolsinger sheds light on what makes leading change so difficult and the effect it has on leaders as they navigate the resistance. Using the metaphor of a blacksmith hammering on the metal work, Bolsinger is inviting the leader to enter into a process of being refined so that they can effectively develop enough resilience to be instruments of change in the organizations leaders serve[2]. It is an invitation into an adaptive approach to leadership and the resilience that is necessary to be adaptable.
I was not prepared for how the words of Bolsinger described my current experience. The expression, “reading your mail” does not quite capture the feeling of finding my exact situation on the page. Bolsinger explains the problem for leaders who are navigating the waters of change and why they need to be refined and develop resistance. He describes a time that he was leading a capital campaign and building project, only to learn that his biggest contributors have conspired to undermine the project[3]. He then describes the predictable resistance that leaders face when they attempt to lead anything of significance – sabotage. He describes it in this way, “Sabotage happens every time a leader takes the initiative to start a change process”[4]. Quoting Friedman, Bolsinger points out that success only occurs after the reactionary sabotage takes place and the leader responds to that[5].
Those are the words that leaped off the page. The past few weeks were filled with conversations related to a men’s group in my church. In the aftermath of our church vote to stay in the denomination, many families left the church but continued to attend this men’s group. Members of this group began to report to me that those who left were attending the group meetings inviting people to join them at their new church, while criticizing the way I was leading this church. This escalated to the point that the men’s group decided to disband and write checks from the men’s group to their new churches. After many conversations with the group members and the bank, where the church account is held, the group finally voted to disband, allocating the group money to different church funds and local charities. The entire situation seemed to be the fallout from the church vote and the last resistance of those who are leaving the church.
I noticed something else was happening in my heart in the process: I was beginning to lose the optimism that had fueled me through this difficult season. In fact, many people have asked me how I have stayed so optimistic during this difficult time, yet I was dreading going to work and finding that I did not care what the outcome would be because nothing would change anyway. That is when these words seemed to mirror my soul: “In a failure of heart, the first thing to go is hope and energy; soon the very empathy and attunement necessary to help a group adjust to loss and resist despair turn to cynicism, and that in turn results in the entire leading-change effort to be quietly abandoned and the leader often with it”[6]
This is an encouragement as I see this episode a part of leading change in an organization that is resisting the very changes they have sought. My situation was no longer unique – which is a good thing. It is an experience that other leaders face as they try to lead through the calling they have and the potential of the organization. While I am still navigating the changes and aftermath, I know that I can leverage this opportunity to refine my skills and my resilience.
- Tod E Bolsinger, Tempered Resilience : How Leaders Are Formed in the Crucible of Change (Downers Grove, Il: Intervarsity Press, 2020).
- Ibid., 4.
- Ibid., 24.
- Ibid.
- Ibid.
- Ibid., 29.
About the Author
Chad McSwain
Chad is a systematic creative serving in pastoral ministry for nearly 20 years, Chad is a professional question-asker and white-board enthusiast, who enjoys helping people discover their own passions and purpose. A life-long learner, he has a B.A, Philosophy - Univ. Central Oklahoma, M.A Theology - Fuller Seminary, M.Div. Perkins School of Theology at SMU and is pursuing a Doctor of Leadership - George Fox University. He is an ordained Elder in the United Methodist Church, currently serving as Lead Pastor of Whitesboro UMC. Chad and his wife, Brandi live in Prosper, Texas along with their three children, two pugs and a chameleon.4 responses to “Sabotage Happens”
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Chad,
Thank you for sharing how this season of leadership in the denomination is so challenging in so many ways. I appreciate your honest and vulnerability with the emotional roller coster. It is in sharing these stories and our vulnerability we can give strength to each other. It is so much harder when you feel like you are alone facing these challenges. Don’t get me wrong I don’t wish anyone to join the club of dealing with these challenges, but when we have peers to journey with, it makes the journey less lonely. I am sorry you have faced this in your church and my heart breaks at every story I hear. In general my heart is simply just broken. Keep leading your leadership is vital.
Great post and fantastic title, Chad. We’re all in this challenging field for a reason. God has called us to be resilient and you are doing a fantastic job. “Success only occurs after the reactionary sabotage takes place and the leader responds to that.” Keep it in mind, stay optimistic, and keep doing your thing, sir! You are a great, resilient leader. God has enormous plans for you.
Chad,
I ditto what both Sara and Michael wrote.
I’m reminded of the picture that has the footsteps in the sand and the caption (paraphrasing) that those are the footsteps of Jesus carrying us through the difficulties of life. My point is He’s carrying you through this.
Chad,
Thank you for sharing, you are a remarkable Godly man and pastor. I appreciate your thought and care in how you articulate your thoughts and feelings. I love to see your posts of your family and community. I am praying for you, your family, and community.