Do not sit in silence – stand up!
I’ve sat in silence while writing this blog for over a week. I read the entire book of Steele, and still did not feel like I was authorized or entitled in the slightest to complete the assignment. I then decided that I would listen to it audibly to see if I could hear it another way to aid in completing this blog. Five hours later when the book was complete I am no further to feeling ready but my time was up. As a human… What could I say besides I’m not only frustrated but saddened with the constant complications….contradictions…. and mistrust in a society’s brokenness and wickedness regarding race. “Today’s great divide comes from a shallowness of understanding.” (1)
Brutality, death, and continually traumatic events from across the globe have plastered the news regarding race since before I was born. Why does a story in the news including bigotry, hate, and blindness…. have to be seen thousands of times for an evolution? Why can’t people love each other for just being human? Why do we have to have a divide at all? At what point will the world WAKE UP? When God made the human race I believe he intentionally did not make everyone the same… because if God wanted everyone to look the same we would have a giant world of an identical species. (I personally have identical twins – and it’s confusing.) However this proves to me that if he wanted to do it – he could, because he has. My boys share every single genetic marker identifying them as the same human extrinsically. I can also tell you they couldn’t be more different intrinsically. It absolutely infuriates me that anyone cannot see the beauty in every single race’s uniqueness, and in every single person individually.
The night that Martin Luther King, Jr was killed Robert F. Kennedy broke the news and said, “For those of you who are black and are tempted to be filled with hatred and mistrust of the injustice of such an act against all white people. I can only say that I feel within my own heart the same feeling. I had a member of my family killed, but he was killed by a white man. My favorite poet was Aeschylus and he wrote, “Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.” What we need in the United States is not violence and lawlessness but is love and wisdom and compassion towards one another. Feeling of justice for those who still suffer in our country whether they be black or whether they be white.” (2)
In the book What Truth Sounds Like the author states, “It was the steps made in women’s rights and civil rights – the steps toward genuine equality – that fulfilled the promise of a perfect union.” (3) While I cannot speak to injustices against race besides my personal despair of history as well as constant current events that makes my stomach turn I can personally talk about injustice against myself as a woman. Recently Jenna Hagar Bush went on a rant on her show which highlighted constant double standards between men and women… You can watch it here.
The premise of what Jenna shares is that there is a constant separation of men and women. She specifically is referring to moms and dads in this rant. “Mom guilt, for example. Does anybody say dad guilt? I don’t think so! … Balance? Sorry but don’t ask me … Nobody asked my husband how balanced he is. If he feels balanced. They don’t ask men that. They just ask women so that women then feel bad. We’re not comparing ourselves anymore. We come together!” (4)
Right now I am building a new business in the town I live in to help aid in a ministry I want to start within our community. I have seen time and time again of individuals working on the building not acknowledging me as a human, or that I am even present. Am I a ghost? Can you see me? You know this is literally my project…my voice, thoughts, and desires? Without me starting this project… there is not a job here to be completed. I am the one writing the paycheck, however I am useless. The crazy thing is that when my husband goes to the job site they would completely stop. (I see it important to note here that my husband supports this project, but this is very much not his thing. He goes to support me but has no preference on happenings.) Not only did they acknowledge him, but they made sure that everything looks ok, and made sure that he is aware of what the next steps were as well as where any problems that have come up. I had the same thing happen with a supplier. The individual refused to talk to me, and would only talk to my husband. I literally would ask a question and he would look to Ben (my husband) to answer it. The problem was that my sweet husband didn’t know the answer to what our needs were because it was not his project. I had reminded the supplier time and time again that if they needed something they needed to call or email me. It didn’t matter what I said, nothing changed. One day I had just had enough. I showed my husband all of the discrepancies at the job site and with the supplier and he simply had not seen it through that lens. He didn’t know how much it was wearing on me and upsetting me. To say that he was mortified was an understatement. From then on he has done a great job at making a point in front of these men to allow me to shine within my project. If they ask a question his response is always, “Have you asked Alana?” He had to defer these men to me dozens of times before they finally clued in. It took Ben refusing their bigotry repeatedly for a change to happen. The feeling I had when we had this breakthrough of finally being seen was huge…however I’m still frustrated at the past and how much I had to fight to be valued, heard and seen.
If we see a person who is being crushed by a rock, the goal is not to get under the rock and feel what they are feeling; it is to help to remove the rock.” Dalai Lama (5)
I tell you that story because I wonder if we stood up in the same way that Ben did for me against racism in our country if it would change anything. How many people would it take to rewrite the hierarchy delusion engrained in people’s brain? Do we need to start looking at race as a moral issue… not just a political one? How do politics and race cohabitate for the greater good?
“Political correctness is the enforcement arm of poetic truth. It coerces people into suspending their own judgment on matters of racial equality, women’s rights, war, and the environment in deference to some prescribed “correct” view on these matters that will distance them from the stigma of America’s sinful past.” (6)
I agree with Steele when he says that we are “strong enough to change.” (7) My hope is that we unapologetically do it.
(1) Steele, S. (2015). In Shame: How America’s past sins have polarized our country (pp. 20–20). essay, Basic Books, a member of the Perseus Books Group.
(2) Statement on assassination of Martin Luther King, jr., Indianapolis, Indiana, April 4, 1968. Statement on Assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr., Indianapolis, Indiana, April 4, 1968 | JFK Library. (n.d.). Retrieved December 4, 2022, from https://www.jfklibrary.org/learn/about-jfk/the-kennedy-family/robert-f-kennedy/robert-f-kennedy-speeches/statement-on-assassination-of-martin-luther-king-jr-indianapolis-indiana-april-4-1968
(3) Dyson, M. E. (2018). What truth sounds like: Robert F. Kennedy, James Baldwin, and our unfinished conversation about race in America. St. Martin’s Press.
(4) Yahoo! (n.d.). Jenna Bush Hager went on a passionate on-air rant and moms everywhere had strong reactions. Yahoo! Retrieved December 4, 2022, from https://ca.movies.yahoo.com/jenna-bush-hager-went-passionate-144700932.html
(5) Bstan-ʼdzin-rgya-mtsho, & Tutu, D. (2018). The book of joy: Lasting happiness in a Changing World. Thorpe, Isis.
(6) Steele, S. (2015). In Shame: How America’s past sins have polarized our country essay, Basic Books, a member of the Perseus Books Group.
(7) Steele, S. (2015). In Shame: How America’s past sins have polarized our country. essay, Basic Books, a member of the Perseus Books Group.
About the Author
Alana Hayes
Alana is a mother to four beautiful children and wife to a farmer in Texas. She is an avid world traveler with a heart for both the world and education. She is the president of the nonprofit Against the Grain Texas where they focus on providing education to children overseas and at risk adults in the states. To date the nonprofit has given almost $100,000 to individuals around the world. In her free time she loves spending meaningful time with people and reading to further her personal education.4 responses to “Do not sit in silence – stand up!”
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Alana,
I felt your frustrations as your wrote about being seen as the leader in your project as opposed to your husband, simply because he was the man and you were the woman. I have felt that too, many times over the years. You described it well.
My hope too is that our world will change, for all of our sakes.
Alana, I am so motivated by your post and appreciate how you wrote from the heart and pulled relevant quotes into your thought stream from a variety of sources. You mentioned that it was hard to start writing on this blog and that it felt like you weren’t ready. Once you started writing, did the thoughts flow or was it still hard to write? Your words are powerful. Thank you for all that you said.
Alana,
I hear you! It is interesting how you make the correlation between women’s issues and race. When I was talking with some friends about the difference in serving the church in Texas and then serving the church up north, we noted how many more races and woman were represented in leadership in the north than in Texas. Other peers have mentioned the loss of dignity and the need for a renewal of identity. I think the reason that women and minorities tend to be found working together towards dignity restoration is that they have a common interest and empathy for the obstacles each face. Thank you for sharing your story!
Great post, Alana. I thnk a lot of us struggled with this read. I agree that it is a “shallowness of understanding.” I believe the devil is heavily involved in division, and it’s more than just race issues. There is so much corruption in this world, and even in a place where you would think there would be unity, the Church, we often see division, mixed doctrines, competition, and politics. I also agree that we are “strong enough to change.” I pray we can put Christ first in our lives and I believe the Spirit will work out the details of unity.