Ego < Jesus
Leading out of Who You Are by Simon Walker provides many different perspectives that depending on past characteristics and learned behavior is most likely how their leadership styles will reflect in their organizations. Often we wear or present a mask to people in public and behind what the public sees, often in wearing these masks, we are completely two different people. With completely two different leadership styles.
Walker came under some criticism that he combined two different theories. The first theory is from Erving Goffman’s theory on Organizational Behavior.[1] The second theory comes from Kim’s Bartholomew and Leonard M Horowitz’s theory on different shapes of ego.[2] Walker comes under some criticism for not expanding on these theories, but rather used these theories to help support his main point on what makes us defensive in our leadership practice and breaking down those barriers.
Walker helps bring leadership focus to being more authentic. Often we focus on methods or systems rather than having an active healthy relationship with those we are leading. In many organizations, even the church, we look for great organizational leaders or administrators. Often, the needs of the people in that organization or church our ignored. In the church, pastoral ministry and being authentic with people is so needed. However there is a cost of time and money that goes with this. We have to ask, have we become so much about the success of an organization, have we become just like the Pharisees in the gospels and forgotten to minister to the needs of the people?
Walker explains that the primary task of leadership is to enable people to take responsibility.[3] To empower our following by giving them power, trust, and responsibility. We see that great leaders take on too much responsibility in their organizations, especially to protect inexperienced leaders. This is where Walker encourages growth of that leader through adversity. As the book of Ephesians focuses on the body of Christ functioning together, Walker takes another biblical perspective and turns it into a leadership handbook. Almost like the Apostle Paul with Timothy in the Pastoral Epistles.
In Matthew 28:18-20 Jesus gives his disciples the command and authority of the Great Commission. Because many organizations, even churches can be driven by ego, rather than the teachings of Christ, we see discipleship not happening. Many organizations and churches become all about the success of the leader and not about the success of the team or people they are leading. Walker brings fourth another biblical practice into this book.
Walker introduces psychologist Erving Goffman’s theory in which self-performance is where we attempt to attract attention to affirm our self-identity. In the Western Culture we celebrate performance, the better the athlete, the more they are celebrated. The more successful a leader, ministry, event often the leader is celebrated or even rewarded.
When I came to Portland Seminary, I have had many questions why there was so much strife between organizations, churches, ministries, even pastors. It seems that competition drives people, rather than to glorify Jesus. In my own life, having a food ministry in a pandemic seemed to bring out the worse in people. In all of my struggle in this undertaking, what I really needed was support, a friend, a prayer, a teammate. In preparing for year two in our doctoral program, I began reading the assigned text’s for the program, a lot of my “why” questions started to be answered.
Year two of this program, reminds me a little of my previous mentor. Before planting our church in Lake Stevens, I was in a very wealthy area of Seattle in an area of Queen Anne. This is where a great deal of the doctors lived who worked in the local hospitals and UW. It is nicknamed ‘little Europe.” I was tasked with creating a young adult ministry. In time, the young adult ministry went from four people, to over 50 people. As I celebrated this success internally, my head pastor came and had a meeting with me.
In this meeting, he told me that “he was not really impressed by me.” I was shocked, a little taken by surprise, I did not know how to respond. Coming from a prior ministry as a youth pastor, I had to maintain a 100+ youth in our ministry or I would be replaced by someone who could (performance ministry). What I failed to understand by my new head pastor and soon to spiritual father, he was removing the need for performance ministry, and attacking my egocentric identity in me. Worse, he challenged me. He said “that if you have one spiritual son by the time your training period ends here, I will help you plant a church. But, if you have 200 people in this ministry, and no disciples, I do not want to have anything to do with you or your ministry.”
I sat their dumbfounded. For the next couple months I meditated and prayed on this. Through this challenge, I fell in love with Jesus and the gospels. I went from focusing on filling seats, to filling peoples hearts with Jesus. I focused on having a church that attracted Jesus and His Holy Spirit, rather that attracting people to come.
I believe Simon P. Walker in Leading out of Who You Are is inviting us into a new way of leading. Leading that is not based on our ego’s or own need for performance being met. But we can truly be ourselves, vulnerable, and transparent with others. We can empower others around us without feeling threatened. We can finally take off the masks and show people who we really are without being scarred, worried, or having anxiety by what others may or may not think of us.
[1]Erving Goffman theory on Organizational Behavior
[2] Kim’s Bartholomew and Leonard M Horowitz theory on different shapes of ego
[3] Walker, Simon P. Leading out of Who You Are
About the Author
Greg McMullen
Pastor Greg resides in Lake Stevens WA and pastors a small rural church in the Machias area . The Well Church has a large food ministry in which many different cultures come each week to gather food and counsel. The Church has a small school that is bearing good fruit. Pastor Greg has a large family of 10 children and enjoys fishing and hiking.6 responses to “Ego < Jesus”
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Greg,
Thank you for sharing some of your successes and humble learnings while in ministry. I appreciate your sharing about your head pastor’s strong words when you were a young adult pastor. You learned from his words.
You stated:
“I went from focusing on filling seats, to filling peoples hearts with Jesus. I focused on having a church that attracted Jesus and His Holy Spirit,
rather that attracting people to come.”
Reflecting on what you share here,
How did you fill peoples hearts with Jesus?
Thank you for sharing so freely Greg. I am challenged to be more vulnerable in my blogging.
Kristy,
My time at Seattle Foursquare was a growing time for me. I went from trying to build a successful ministry or church, to building successful Christian. My focus shifted from my success to their success.
I think it was Eugene Patterson who said the greatest thing a pastor can do is quit worrying about success and pastor your church.
Hey Greg,
The meeting with your pastor and now spiritual father was profound. As a performance-driven pastor in recovery, the shift from “filling seats to filling people’s hearts with Jesus” is a paradigm shift, but oh so needed for my soul.
The invitation to lead out of who you are and empower people by giving them responsibility sounds great in theory, but is a challenge in practice. How are you practically shifting your ministry to being reliant solely on you to empowering other people through handing them responsibility and trusting them with it?
David,
Your question requires much more of a response, but I will try and be short and direct as possible.
The Lord has blessed me with two great spiritual fathers in my lifetime. Both have pushed me to be true to my calling, and not get caught up in todays church culture.
As I am very performance driven, I can get caught up in the prophetic culture, preparing great sermons, and forget my calling to father and pastor. Probably the one verse that hit me the most on this subject is 1st Corinthians 4:15. Before preaching to a large audience, my mentor came back to the side of the stage and asked me for my notes. He took my notes and said “preach from your heart.” That if it has not gone from your brain to your heart, you are not ready to preach it.
Empowering others: Unfortunately that is a two sided coin for me still, that is starting to become more and more one sided as I mature as a pastor and do not worry so much what others think. On one side of the coin, you have the Pastoral Epistles (I, II Timothy and Titus) I believe this is that standard of character God wants in His leaders.
I am sure you have seen the after the math of what happens when you give someone power as a leader, then you have to take that power away from them. It can leave many people hurting as leaders, families, a specific ministry, and church.
I believe one of the biggest failures in the western church is that we are driven from ego, the need for more people, more revenue, more ministries. Because of ego pushing the church, denominations, discipleship is being lost. Spiritual fathers speaking into the lives of younger leaders is becoming absent.
Every ministry of the Well Church is set up around discipleship. I even designed the one school building room, so I can see almost every part of the church and property. The school is my main focus, I have almost 30 hours a week with these youth to disciple and equip. It is my hope that some of these kids will become ministers, youth pastors, children’s pastors in our own ministry.
The Food ministry was born out of a need, now I keep it for discipleship. It gives an area for around 16 people to serve, but this puts a person at our church for 15 hours a week besides services. I have way more time to disciple this way.
With this I also have leadership meetings, where I have a couple leaders preparing to become Deacons. The food ministry is my training ground for this role as from the book of Acts. As the bible suggests, start someone in lowly position and let prove themselves before advancing them.
I look for janitors or Rocky’s, people who are willing to get a little dirty, uncomfortable for God. I have found you can teach people skills, but you cant teach them heart.
The food ministry provides a need for the community, but it gives me more time with my people, that is the driving force behind it now. It is my step 1 for people who want to grow and become a spiritual son or daughter. As a father, I am committed to their success, this may be a new career, degree, trade…
Being in it for the long run with people, makes the biggest different. People make mistakes, the mistakes usually cost you money and time. A teaching and learning opportunity.
Discipleship is a lot like teaching a child to ride their bike, they fall down a lot, even cry and want their mommy and daddy. You help them get back up and keep going until they are successful on their own.
As you saw in S. Africa with me, my bike crashed and I had to figure out how to get back up by myself as my dad and spiritual father are both with the Lord. I was struggling to pick back up my bike and keep pedaling.
The Lord convicted me one day, as I had a different standard of accountability for my own children, then spiritual sons and daughters. I often had a lot more grace, love, and encouragement for my own children rather than people who came to our church.
With my ministry now, I try and stay true to my calling John 4. A place where people can come and experience living water. I also do not see the Well Church as a church, but as an orphanage for people to come who don’t have a father to be loved and fathered. It is a hard and slow process with little fruit.
This is why most organizations decide to “entertain the crowds” rather than fulfill the Great Commission by making disciples. Discipleship is hard work, with lower numbers, but the fruit can be amazing. Usually a spiritual son can preach, teach, operate or start a church.
I have tests. I test my people, if they stick around and be faithful in the little, I will invest more into them. Hopefully one day, help them start a church or ministry. I also try and start them in a lower position until their character can mature, especially people new to sobriety or Christ.
Example: Years ago my wife was a children’s pastor at a larger church. The demands that were put on her were a lot. She had minimal training, minimal staff, minimal support. After time, she was let go from that church from lack of performance. She was hurting the growth of that church.
I spent the next 5 years investing in my wife, loving her, building her up. Today she is a remarkable leader and has an incredible children’s pastor. We are one of the smallest churches in the area, but we have a large children’s ministry and youth ministry.
To remember leaders are not born, they are formed. To be in it for the long run with people. Otherwise in the short run, people who fall short, they will embarase you, not measure up to expectations, hurt the performance of the team. I believe this is all rooted in the leaders “ego” and not biblically based.
David, you are a remarkable young man, I think it is amazing that you caught this at your age the need for discipleship. I look forward to reading your about your project.
Peace and Blessings,
Greg
Greg,
It is obvious to anyone who has met you that your heart has been broken for the Lord.
You mentioned leaders who can lead without masks – without being scared or worried. What would you say to a young pastor or ministry leader to motivate them to remove the masks?
Audrey,
I could go really deep in this area. I am going to keep it to 4 responses. If you would like me to go deeper, I am happy to.
As you know what the world embraces as success and being successful as a follower of Christ is completely different. As follower of Christ, success is being obedient to Him.
A couple of things to encourage a young leader to remove their mask.
(1) When I was a child, my dad was close to John Maxwell. There was a couple times when he even watched me as a young child. I value John Maxwell simply because he cared for me and spent time with me. He was kind to my parents. He removed his mask and was a real person to us.
(2) My mentor once said to me, “Greg you are a really good churchman, but a lousy follower of Jesus Christ. You are always networking, bringing people to church, always positive. But I don’t think you are a really good follower of Jesus.”
Often, Church Culture, leaders, conferences, worship events can become very popular and entertaining. Often we support other people, organizations doing what they have been called to do and never fulfilling their own purpose and calling in life. This leads me into response #3 which I try to live my life from make every decision from.
(3) When I die and face Jesus Christ, I will have to give an account for everything He asked me to do. As a leader/teacher I am held double accountable to Him. I will be judged on what He asked me to do, not what I thought I should do, or felt I should do.
This is where the enemy will try and distract a young leader from ever coming into or fulfilling what Christ actually asked them to do. Unfortunately, I see many young leaders trying to please or meet expectations and never come into their true calling and having disciples.
This is where slowing down, and being led by the spirit is so important. Which brings me in my 4th response.
(4) Jesus saw what the Father was doing and did that! Not what a denomination was doing, not what another church was doing. I see so many young leaders distraught, frustrated, from trying to compete rather than walk with God and lead from that place of rest with Jesus.
Im always correcting this in my life, I am always repenting in this area, because I constantly struggle with “doing more.” This is the pitfall I constantly fall into with enemy, and have to climb back out of.
I have found that the enemy often distracts me from what I am suppose to be doing with “doing more” in another area or ministry and I found myself in area where Jesus is not at. I’m outside His Grace and favor.
Slow down and just be where Jesus and the Father are. It worked for Jesus, it will work with us.